Elle
There is a moment in life when a girl comes to realize what certain terms really mean. Every day turns of phrase become clear and relatable. Things like ‘cloud nine’ or ‘Nirvana’.
The next morning was my moment. For the first time in my life, I knew what it meant to be ecstatic. You know. Over the moon happy.
“Why are you so happy?” Jimmy asked as he took another bite of his second bowl of cereal.
I laughed, I’d been doing that all morning. Laughing for no reason. Reaching over I ruffled his hair and smiled at him. “Because,” I said, “just because.”
He pushed my hand away and frowned. “And you call me weird.”
I laughed again and finished my bagel.
“You ready to go?” Mom asked me as she walked into the kitchen.
“Do I have to?” I asked. All I could think about was talking to Jeanna about last night. Although, really, all I wanted to do was relive last night over and over again. But, by talking to Jeanna I could maybe figure out what was true. I mean, it couldn’t really be true, Nate and I, real boyfriend and girlfriend. No more pretending. There was just no way.
Talking to Jeanna would help. Besides, I sort of wanted to brag. I mean, come on. Nate Clark liked me.
“Yes,” my mom said as she grabbed her purse. “It will give us a chance to talk. We don’t do enough of that.”
And just like that. My bubble was popped. I could tell that look. That was the - you’re not leading your life correctly look.
Sighing, I cleared my place. I had learned long ago that these talks could not be avoided. In fact, the more you delayed, the worse they got.
As we pulled into the farmers market, I shook my head. This was the place my mother insisted we buy our food. Everything was local, she said. Local if you considered three hundred miles and the other side of a mountain range local. In truth, everything was shipped in from the central valley. The last farm around here had been plowed under and covered in concrete a dozen years ago. But people still liked to pretend.
Pretend. Something I was no longer doing with Nate, I thought as a smile broke out on my face.
“You seem happy,” my mother said as she got out of the car, organizing her color-coordinated canvas shopping bags. One for fruit and vegetables, another for jars and canned goods, and the last one for the butchers we’d hit just before leaving.
I shrugged my shoulder, no way was I providing her any information. She’d use it against me like she was in a court of law, I just knew it.
As we stepped into the bustling market, the familiar sounds and smells washed over me. The din of voices bargaining and questioning. The sweet aroma of Kettle popcorn mixed with the sharp tang of street vendors and fish tacos.
This place never changed, I thought. And maybe that was a good thing.
My mom glanced over at me and raised an eyebrow as she slowly searched for the perfect avocado. “You didn’t answer me,” she continued. “Did you have a good time last night?”
Turning away, she gave the grocery a five dollar bill and placed three avocados into her bag.
“Yes,” I said reluctantly, “I had a good time.”
“That’s nice dear,” she said as she made her way to the tomatoes. “I know we’ve talked about this in the past. But I thought now would be a good time to talk about it again. Birth control is very important.”
“Mother!” I hissed. “We are not doing this here. Not now. In fact, if I had my way. Not ever.”
She studied me for a long moment. “Elle, this is…”
“Mom, if you say another word. I’m leaving. I will walk home if I have to. Not here.”
She stopped for a second and looked at me. Really looked, then nodded. Okay, she was saying. Not here. But soon.
I sighed internally and tried not to roll my eyes. She really hated that. Instead, I accepted the momentary truce and accepted the fact that I was only delaying the inevitable.
We ended up delaying it all the way until we reached the car after shopping. A good forty-five minutes. I guess I should be grateful she held off that long.
I’d barely gotten my seat belt done when she turned to me and said. “This is important Elle. I need to know you are taking your birth control.”
I did roll my eyes, I couldn’t stop myself. “Yes Mom,” I said. “But it’s not like that. Nate and I barely know each other.”
She gave me a look like she thought I was crazy, then smiled sadly. “It’s just that you are so young.”
I scoffed loudly. “Nana was a year younger than me when she ran off to join a hippie commune in the woods.”
Mom’s eye got a quick cloudy look as she thought about what I said. “Your Nana had a hard childhood. What she did cannot be compared to today. This is all so new for you. You’ve been protected. I worry that you might make a mistake.”
“Nate is not a mistake,” I said with a little more force than I probably should have.
She continued to study me for a long minute until, finally, she shook her head and started the car. “Promise me,” she said. “You will take your birth control.”
I sighed, “Yes mom,” I said. “I promise. But I’m telling you. It’s not like that. This isn’t an issue for you to worry about.”
Mom smiled at me and said, “Oh honey, when I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you. Believe me. It is an issue.”
I swallowed hard as I thought about the ‘issue’ and deep down, I thought maybe Mom had been right. For the first time in my life, I was thinking maybe, someday soon, yes, most definitely, it was going to become an issue.