Chapter Seven

Elle

The waitress took our plates and brought us our dessert order – Crème Brule’ for me, of course – Ice cream for Nate. The conversation had hit one of those lulls that made my stomach hurt as I frantically tried to think of something to hold off that wall of awkwardness. We’d discussed everything two young people could safely talk about without hitting any more sore spots.

So of course, I took it off into a completely uncharted territory.

“You said something today that’s bothered me. Can I ask you about it?”

“Sure,” he said, his spoon halfway to his mouth. His brow furrowed like he was getting ready to get punched and trying to figure out a way to avoid it.

I took a deep breath. “You said I had no idea what a thirteen-year-old boy was going through. What did you mean?”

He let out a relieved breath and shrugged. “Just that boys were different than girls and you didn’t have a reference point.”

Now it was my turn to frown with confusion. “Do you mean that boys have a harder time with puberty than girls? Because I can tell …”

“No, not worse, or easier, different,” he interrupted.

“What do you mean exactly?” I asked, I was curious, and this was a conversation I could have with absolutely no one else in this world. Anything that helped me understand my brother would be good.

Nate put his spoon down and stared at me for a long second as if trying to decide whether to reveal the deep dark male secret or not. Suddenly, I desperately wanted to know what it was.

“What is the most important thing to a thirteen-year-old boy?” he asked.

“Girls,” I responded. The answer was so obvious I wondered why he was asking. “Either that or Star Wars.”

He laughed. “Yes, but not like you think.”

I frowned at him and waited.

“You’ve got to understand. This is all at the gut level. Not at the thinking level. Jimmy, or any thirteen-year-old boy is not aware of it. But he has always known that girls were special. That they hold all the power.”

I scoffed. “If you think women are the power centers in this world you are sorely mistaken.”

He laughed. “To a thirteen-year-old. They are. What is more, he knows that any chance he ever has will be because of his status. He learns this early when he sees that the girls are all interested in the older, bigger boys.”

I slowly shook my head, he really couldn’t believe this. “You know, not all girls are like that?”

He just cocked an eyebrow and said, “Really, do girls lay in their beds at night dreaming about marrying a smaller, poorer man someday?”

“We don’t all want to be Cinderella,” I replied.

“I know,” he replied, “But we are talking in broad generalities.”

I nodded for him to go on. This was interesting. I disagreed, but I wanted to hear him out before I destroyed his arguments.

“But,” he continued. “This young boy knows that the most important thing to ever having a chance is to be accepted by the other males. That deep in that reptilian brain of his, he knows that he must become one of the protectors and providers for the clan or no woman will ever want him. That he needs to become a man. Which in his mind, means, brave and strong.”

“Wow, you really think that woman like that whole ‘Me Tarzan you Jane’ attitude? Because I can tell you that is so far from the truth.” Of course, at that exact moment, a picture of Nate without his shirt jumped into my mind. Sort of discounting my entire internal statement.

“We aren’t talking about what I think. We are talking about a thirteen-year-old boy. In a few years, he’ll figure it all out. But right now, all he can see is that everyone is bigger and stronger and they’ve got all the girls.”

I stopped myself from making a quick reply and thought about what Nate was saying. If he was right. Then Jimmy had been put into the worst situation.

Nate looked at me and I swear he saw the lightbulb go off over my head.

“So, where did you come up with this?” I asked. “No way did an eighteen-year-old boy develop such a crazy idea.”

“It’s not crazy and I got it from my Uncle Jake. I’m telling you. When you are thirteen, every guy is bigger than you and won’t hesitate to remind you. Back when I was Jimmy’s age, I was having … troubles. A lot of anger issues. Uncle Jake talked to me about it, then got me into boxing. He said, If I was going to get into fights all the time, the least I could do was know what I was doing. That’s why I agreed to help Jimmy,” he added. “That’s why I started teaching him how to box.”

“Jimmy can’t box,” I said. “That is final. There will be no discussion on the matter.”

Nate just smiled back at me.

“What?” I demanded.

“Don’t be surprised if that’s the first apron string he cuts.”

My guts froze for a second. Was I being overprotective? Would that push Jimmy into doing things he shouldn’t, just because of stupid male ego?

“No,” I said. “Violence is never the answer.”

Nate laughed. “Not unless it’s used to protect your brother. Then it’s okay I assume.”

I frowned back at him, I hated how he twisted my words, especially when he might be right.

“Besides,” he continued. “I was teaching him how to protect himself. It’s not like Jimmy’s going to go join a street gang or something. He’s not exactly the type.”

I sat there and stared into nothing for a long moment as I tried to come to grips with what Nate was saying. What did I really know about my brother?

“You may be right,” I said at last. “It’s something to think about.”

Nate nodded and said, “Not exactly a romantic first date discussion. We should be debating whether your eyes look more like caramel or milk chocolate and how your smile reminds me of a sunset in October. Pure, and good. But hey, we’ll save that discussion for another time.”

My mind froze solid. I couldn’t think as my heart jumped into overdrive and my lungs refused to work. Where did that come from?

I sent up a silent prayer of thanks when the waitress showed up with the check. I had an excuse to pull my mind away from his words as I scrambled in my purse.

“What are you doing?” Nate asked with a serious furrowed brow.

“Getting money to pay my part of the bill,” I said. I mean, come on, it should have been obvious.

Nate scoffed. “Not on your life. I asked you out, remember?”

Now I was confused. “But, this isn’t a real date. I thought …”

“First rule of dating,” Nate began. “A guy asks a girl out, he pays. Period. I know it’s male chauvinistic - Tough, deal with it. Besides, I told you. This was a real date. The conversation may have strayed. But it was real.”

I forced my heart to slow down to semi-normal and nodded my head in thanks. I know I should have been offended or something, but deep down I was pleased. I don’t know why. But it meant something.

“Thank you,” I said after the waitress brought his change.

Later, he smiled at me as he started his truck and said, “It’s still early, do you want to do something else? We could still go see a movie if you want.”

I shook my head, no, I had a better idea.

“Go up to the light and take a left,” I said.

He shot me a quick questioning glance that let me know he had his doubts, but he followed my instructions.

“On the right,” I said.

“Putt-Putt golf?” he said with disbelief.

“I’ve always wanted to go. Mom would never take us. Something about crass commercialism. It looks fun, don’t you think?”

“Okay,” he said with a fake frown, “but, I’ve got to warn you, I take my putt-putt golf seriously. I won’t go easy. It's every person for themselves on the plastic greens.”

I laughed. “What? If I bat my eyelashes and smile up at you, you won’t take pity on poor little ol’ me?”

“Nope, not going to happen. Not when it comes to the serious sport of putt-putt golf.”

My heart skipped a beat as I laughed. All the while, my competition juices jumped into gear. “Fine, you’re on.”

I was right, it was fun. Nate paid for the clubs and stuff and gave me the honor of going first. It was like the world washed away and it was only Nate and me. Alone, in our own little universe. Competing, laughing, teasing each other.

A special moment on a very special night.

What made it even better was that I won. Yes, I beat the mighty Nate Clark at putt-putt golf. A fact that I would be sure to never let him forget. I’ve got to give it to him though, he took his humiliating defeat well.

“Nicely played,” he said with a dip of an imaginary cap as I sank my last putt.

“Yes, well, I am available for lessons if you want them? We’ve already determined that you need them. I mean, getting beat by a girl. It must be devastating.”

He smiled, “I might take you up on that, I can think of a lot of things you could give me lessons on,” he said with a smirk that made me wonder if he was thinking about something other than putt-putt golf.

Suddenly, the world came crashing back into reality. The sounds of children giggling in the distance while they played with their parents. The rock music leaking out of the equipment hut. The gaudy colors and flashing neon of the fake windmill. Everything focused to remind me I was standing here with Nate Clark on a warm Saturday night and he was looking at me like he wanted to teach me a thing or two himself.

Swallowing hard, I walked with him back to drop off our clubs and then silently walked with him to his truck. He’d parked at the far end of the parking lot. Which was perfectly okay with me, every extra minute with Nate was a joy to be treasured.

When he opened the door, he paused for a moment, holding it in place, blocking the door and looking down at me.

He was so tall, and so close. I caught a brief hint of leather and sandalwood cologne that made me want to scoop it up and keep it forever. Swallowing hard, I leaned back to look up into his silvery blue eyes.

“You know Elle,” he began. “When we get you home, we will come to the major problem with a first date?”

“Really?” I croaked as I tried to make my voice work. Suddenly it seemed like I had forgotten how to form words. Why was he so devastatingly handsome? It totally made looking away so much harder.

“Yes,” he continued as he stared down into my eyes. “The dreaded, will there be a good night kiss or not.”

I gulped as I tried to figure out where this was going. Suddenly my heart had forgotten how to operate correctly, it was jumping all over the place, racing one moment, then completely stopped the next.

“Will we or won’t we?” he continued. “In fact, we will spend the ride home, silently trying to figure out what will occur. Worried that it will or will not happen.”

“How do we avoid such a terrifying ordeal?” I asked, rather pleased with myself that I could form a coherent thought.

“By getting it out of the way now,” he said as he bent down to kiss me.

My mind was in complete shock, I hadn’t seen it coming. My body, however, had known it would. My eyes automatically closed as I leaned up to meet him.

YES!

Yes, it was like finally coming home. Arriving somewhere I had always wanted to be and never known existed. Soft yet firm, warm and welcoming. My arm automatically reached up to wrap around his shoulders as he reached around me to pull me in closer. Our lips caressed and tasted and enjoyed.

My first kiss, and it was perfect. A moment that I knew I would never forget.

I sank into him, enjoying him, losing myself as a small moan of pure pleasure escaped from the back of my throat. Deeper and deeper I fell.

Nate reluctantly pulled back and stared into my eyes. “Wow, I wasn’t expecting that?”

I could feel my face heat up like the sun and I was very positive I was as red as a ripe tomato, but still, I couldn’t look away. Something had trapped me and kept me in his spell. Those silvery blue eyes pinning me in place.

“I better get you home,” he said. “Or we’ll end up breaking about a dozen first date rules.”

Staring back at him I didn’t move. Torn between wanting to continue the kiss of all kisses and needing to be alone to think about what had happened.

At last, he stepped away and let me get into the truck. When he climbed in behind the wheel, he paused for a moment as he got ready to put his keys into the ignition. I watched as he wrestled with some deep thought, then he shook his head. Whatever it had been, he had put it behind him.

He glanced over at me for a moment, smiled sweetly, then started the quick drive back to my house.

We rode in silence, both of us trying to figure out what had happened and what came next.

When he pulled up outside our house, I looked over at him as my heart continued to beat so hard I was positive he could hear it.

“Thank you, I had a very good time,” I said as I started to get out of the truck. Every part of me wanted to stay. But the date was over. We had accomplished what was needed for the plan. Jimmy would believe it. Although, deep in my heart, I knew I would never really believe it had happened.

“Here, let me walk you to the door,” Nate said as he jumped out.

The two of us silently walked up the path. Mom had left the porch light on. The soft yellow light making everything look warm and welcoming. All the while, my insides were turning over like a cement mixer.

“I was wrong,” Nate said with a serious frown.

“About what?” I asked as I stepped up onto the porch and turned to look at him. The extra step almost brought us eye to eye. Not quite, but almost.

“The first date kiss. Getting it out of the way. I thought it would make this part easier. But I was incorrect, shall we say.”

“Wrong how?” I asked, silently berating myself for my repeated two-word questions. Since when had I forgotten how to talk in whole sentences?

“I thought if I got it out of the way, it’d eliminate the tension<” Nate continued with a smirk. “But I was wrong. Now, it seems even more important.”

“Oh?” I said as I frantically searched my brain for additional words.

“Yes, like if I don’t kiss you goodnight, the date will be a complete failure. Besides. Knowing Jimmy, he’s probably watching.”

“So, you’re saying you want to kiss me because Jimmy might see?” I asked with fake indignity.

“No,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m saying I want to kiss you goodnight. I was using the Jimmy factor as an excuse to convince you. Again, a lame joke. I really am going to have to work on that aspect of my game.”

“That, and your putt-putt golf skills,” I added with a smile. Yes, it felt good to get in a sharp dig. It would keep him on his toes.

He laughed and said, “I can see there is only one way to keep you quiet.” With that, his hands came to my shoulder as he leaned forward and kissed me.

Okay, it was official. That first kiss had not been a fluke. In fact, the second time around was even better. I wasn’t in shock this time and could fully experience the wonderfulness of Nate Clark’s talents.

Again, within the first few seconds, the traitorous moan escaped before I could stop it. But I ignored the embarrassment and sank into his arms. We kissed, and kissed. His strong arms around me, holding me, keeping me safe as we explored.

I don’t know how long it lasted. I have no idea how long it would have gone on. But, the blinking porch light brought me back to reality.

“Really?” I muttered as Nate pulled away from me. I could not believe my mother was doing this. I was seventeen years old.

Nate smiled and said, “I think that is a hint.”

I swallowed hard at the embarrassment. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as the real world rushed in.

“I’ll see you on Monday,” Nate said as he turned to walk away. I felt a little bit of me disappearing, like I was losing a part of me and I’d never get it back. I didn’t understand, but it was as if I was no longer a whole person.

I know, weird huh? But, that didn’t mean the feeling wasn’t there.

When he climbed into his truck, he paused and waved for me to go inside. I, being the idiot that I was, had stood there the entire time like a lovesick calf, unable to move. Nate continued to wave, he wasn’t leaving until I was safely home. Sighing heavily, I forced myself to turn and go inside.

Once in the house, I leaned back against the door and listened to the deep rumble of his truck as he drove away. Only when I could no longer hear the truck did I bring myself back to reality.

“Did you have a good time?” My mother asked as she stepped out of her office.

I smiled at her and walked directly upstairs to my room. No way was I sharing any of this with my mom.