.o0o.

Nate

I knew things were bad first thing Monday morning. I had just turned onto Elle’s street when I saw Ms. Watson pulling out of their driveway with Elle up front and Jimmy in the back. My stomach lurched. This was not good.

Both Jimmy and his mom ignored me as we passed each other. Elle shot me an apologetic smile that sent a shiver down my back. She looked worried. Real worried, not teenager angst worried.

I quickly turned around and followed them to school. But, by the time I parked, Elle’s mom was already storming into school, her two children on either side. Not good.

My insides tightened up as I hurried to catch them.

I was almost up with them just inside the front door when Elle looked over her shoulder and gave me a quick shake of her head. Silently telling me to back off.

What was going on? Nothing made sense. But I did what she asked and slowed down. This looked like a family thing and I wasn’t invited.

Instead, I headed to Mr. Anderson’s English Lit class. I’d pump Jimmy for information when he showed up.

It must have been at least fifteen minutes into class before the door cracked open and Jimmy stepped inside. He looked furious as he handed Mr. Anderson a note. The black eye almost shocking in its technicolor. I had to hide a smile. It made the kid look tough. Probably for the first time in his life.

Then he slipped into a desk in the front row. He glanced back at me and I swear the kid wanted to cut me into a thousand little pieces. My heart fell. What was going on? The kid and I always got along. I thought back over the day before. He’d left the gym giving me a high five and couldn’t stop talking about coming back.

Then this morning, he shows up with his mom?

Suddenly, things started to fall in place and it left an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach.

It didn’t take Joe McCain long to catch on. He shot me a sick smile and mouthed the words, “Lovers quarrel?”

I ignored him. Obviously, I had much bigger problems.

When the bell rang I rushed to the door before he could escape.

“Jimmy,” I said as I grabbed his arm. “What is going on?”

I swear the kid looked like I’d killed his favorite puppy. A mix of anger and hurt and betrayal that made me freeze.

He pulled his arm free and stomped out of the room without saying a word.

All I could do was stand there as the other kids walked past. Most of them curious, some shooting me smirks.

Joe McCain laughed as he slithered by like the snake he was. “That’s what you get for hanging out with ungrateful munchkins.”

I continued to ignore him as I tried to wrap my mind around Jimmy and his anger.

Elle, she’d tell me, I thought as I hurried from the room.

Of course, as soon as I saw her walking toward me I could tell my problems had just grown a lot worse. Her face looked all blotchy, like she’d been crying. My insides grew hard as a rock as my hands clenched into fists. If something had hurt her, I would destroy it.

“What is going on?” I said as I took her hand, desperately wanting to pull her into a hug and make her problems go away.

She looked up at me with red-rimmed eyes and slowly shook her head. “I’m sorry, so sorry.”

“What?” I demanded, probably louder than I should have. But I needed someone to tell me what was going on or I was going to lose it.

Elle took a deep breath, all the while, the kids in the hall pushed past us, parting and going around. I didn’t care, they were smart enough not to bump into us. Not when I was in this mood.

“I told my mom about us,” she said as her head sank to her chest. “Jimmy heard.”

My brow narrowed in confusion. What was there to tell? We hadn’t done anything terrible. In fact, I had been a saint compared to most guys. We’d both been saints.

Elle saw the confused look in my eyes and explained. “About the pretend dating. Jimmy heard.”

“Oh crap,” I mumbled to myself.

“Mom lost it, I was trying to make her understand. She was saying terrible things about you.” Her eyes begged me to understand. To forgive her.

“What kind of things?” I asked with a hesitant breath, desperately needing to know the truth but also afraid of the answer. I held my breath while Elle struggled to tell me.

“She said I can’t see you anymore,” she finally was able to blurt out. “But she’s wrong. She can’t tell me what to do. Not like this. I tried explaining to her about how I felt. About how we both felt. She believed me. But it didn’t matter. We had a big fight.”

It was like someone had shot me in the heart with a steel arrow. A clean hit, nothing but the heart ruined.

Maybe her mother was right, I thought. I mean, come on. This was never going to last. I wasn’t the guy for Elle. Anyone could see it. Only her mom had the courage to say it out loud.

A cold hollow feeling passed through me as I realized what I must do. Her brother hated me. Her mom despised me. And in the long run, Elle was going to leave me. Everybody always did. Better to end it now. A clean break.

I closed my eyes for a moment to gather myself. I’d done a lot of hard things in my life, been through bad times. But this had to be the worse. No doubt about it.

Leaning down, I looked into her eyes.

“Maybe your mom is right,” I said.

The look of pain that flashed into her eyes buried me under a ton of guilt. But I had to do this. For both of us.

She looked back up at me like I’d stuck her in the back with a kitchen knife.

I swallowed hard, and forced myself to say the words that needed to be said.

“Come on Elle, you had to know this would never work. Not long term. Your mom is right. I’m not the guy for you. You deserve first class. You deserve someone who is going to be somebody.”

“But …” she started to say.

No, I said to myself. Don’t let her talk you out of this. Gently taking her shoulders in my hands I slowly shook my head. “You’re still a minor,” I added. “And there is no way I am sneaking around behind your mom’s back.”

A large tear started to roll down her cheek, tearing me in two. God how I loved this girl. I would always love her. But I couldn’t ruin her life. I loved her too much to do that to her.

Giving her shoulders a slight squeeze I smiled sadly then turned and walked away. With every step away from her, I felt my world come crumbling down.

Somehow I made it out of school and all the way to my truck without losing it. I pulled myself behind the wheel and sat there trying to figure out what had happened. It felt like I’d just been pummeled for fifteen rounds by an expert.

Everything ached, everything hurt. And I didn’t know if I’d ever feel good again.