Chapter Twelve

Elle

Of course, I told Nate that he was the one that needed to worry. But, he shook it off like he did everything. Nothing ever seemed to bother him. But in truth, deep down, I knew I was the one in trouble.

Mom indicated that Nate should sit next to her, across from Nana. I quickly grabbed the seat next to him. If I stayed close, maybe I could head off the worst attacks.

Jimmy took his chair and smiled at Nana, “Ohhhh, Cacciatore, this is special.”

Nana smiled back at him like he was precious or something. I wanted to reach over and slap him for some reason. Please, I begged any and every deity I could think of. Make this go smooth tonight. Do not let Nate hate us.

Dinner smelled wonderful, but it did not mask the delicious scent of leather and sandalwood sitting next to me. My stomach fluttered as I closed my eyes for a second and drank it in. A girl could fall in love with that scent.

Mother started passing the salad around. No grace, I realized. We’d never said grace in our house before a meal. Suddenly I wondered about Nate. He hadn’t when we went out to dinner. But maybe they did at home. Did his uncle? What would he think of us that we didn’t?

Then he shot me a quick smile that silently told me to settle down. Some strange combination of a raised eyebrow and a small smirk that said everything would be alright.

Oh, you poor fool, I thought.

Once the food was dished up, Nate took a bite and then smiled at Nana. “This is delicious. Thank you so much for inviting me.”

“I thought Elle invited you,” Jimmy said. I knew I should have slapped him earlier.

Nana smiled back at Nate, basking in his praise. She likes him, I realized. And it was more than his cobalt blue aura. She really liked him. My heart softened just a little. If Nana liked him, that said a lot.

“So Nate,” My mother began, making my stomach curl up on itself. “Elle told us that you have recently moved down here from Seattle.”

He gave me a quick glance, silently asking if I’d been talking about him with my mother.

“Yes Ma’am,” he said, “over the summer.”

“I’ve always liked Seattle,” she said. “The Northwest is very beautiful. Of course, It does rain a lot.”

Nate laughed. “We just tell people that to keep them away. Otherwise, we’d be overrun by you Californians.”

My mom halted for a moment and my heart jumped to my throat. She wasn’t used to Nate’s teasing. Then she smiled and nodded her head. “Yes, well, I’ll remember that the next time I read about Seattle having forty days of rain and I’m sitting on the beach working on my tan.”

Nate laughed and I relaxed just a little. Who knew my mother could banter. See, things weren’t so bad. Maybe this evening wouldn’t end in catastrophe.

Of course, the universe doesn’t work that way. At least never for me.

“So, tell me, Nate. Which colleges are you applying for?”

Nate paused for a second. I held my breath while I waited for an answer. Suddenly I was desperately interested. Would they be any of the ones I might go to?

“I’m not planning on going to college,” he said as he took another bite of food.

It was like someone had dropped a quiet bomb in the middle of the room. You could have heard a cricket cross his legs. Every member of the Watson clan paused with their fork in mid-air. Staring at Nate as if he’d announced he was running away to join the circus.

“Why not?” my mom asked as if the thought were both foreign and completely absurd.

Yes, why not? I wondered as my own brow creased in confusion.

“I’m going into the army. I’ll probably enlist right after graduation.”

Okay, I thought it had been quiet before, but this. This was stone silence. I mean rock solid, never move silence. The kind that hurt. I tried to swallow so I could say something to break the tension. But I had nothing. I don’t know which was more of a shock. The fact that Nate was thinking about going into the Army. Or him telling my mother.

My mom frowned and slowly shook her head. I could read her mind a mile away. The army? It was the last bastion of male domination. An organization designed to destroy.

“What do your parents think of that? Surely they aren’t pleased. I mean, you’re obviously intelligent enough for college. Why waste yourself in the Army?”

Oh crap, I gasped internally. I hadn’t told my mom about his parents.

“My parents are dead,” Nate said as if he were talking about the wallpaper.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” My mother replied, shooting me a look of pure death. I’d hear about my lack of communication later.

“In fact,” Nate continued. “My father was killed in Afghanistan, wasting himself in the army. My mother died nine months later from breast cancer. But I’m pretty sure it was mostly from a broken heart.”

Please God, let me die right now, I silently prayed.

My mother actually looked contrite for a moment. Nana looked at her daughter and slowly shook her head. Then she reached across the table and took Nate’s hand.

“They left the world a better place when they gave us you,” Nana said as she squeezed his hand.

He smiled back at her and nodded. “Thanks.”

“I am sorry,” my mother said and I could tell, she actually was sorry.

“That’s okay,” Nate said, obviously trying to put everyone at ease. “It was a long time ago. I’ve thought about going to college. But, it just doesn’t interest me. It’s almost like I’ve got to finish something my dad started before I can get on with the rest of my life. I know sort of dumb. But …”

He shrugged his wide shoulders and my insides melted. So stoic in the face of so much pain. Without thinking, I put my hand on his arm and tried to silently let him know how much I cared.

“Well, I’ve thought about the army,” Jimmy said as a way to break the tension. Of course, he missed the mark by about a thousand miles.

Mom gasped. “Not in this lifetime,” she said with a shake of her head.

Jimmy smiled. “I don’t know, if I don’t get to Stanford next year. Maybe I’ll enlist in the army when I turn eighteen.”

My mom’s eyes grew as big as bowling balls as she looked at her suddenly rebellious son.

Nate shook his head. “If you go in the army, I will track you down and kick your butt into next Sunday. No way are you wasting that brain of yours.”

He was deadly serious, I realized. Jimmy looked back at him for a moment then backed down and shrugged his shoulders. “I just said I was thinking about it.”

Mom looked back and forth between the two of them. Her mind turning over a dozen different thoughts at the same time.

Nate nodded and continued eating. I, on the other hand, frantically tried to think of something to change the subject. But of course, my mind refused to cooperate. How had I gotten into this situation?

“So Nana,” Nate said giving me a quick glance. “Elle was telling me how you used to flirt with half the bigwigs of Silicon Valley before they became bigwigs.”

Nana laughed, and I relaxed. Nate didn’t hate us. He was purposely changing the subject and for some reason, I was pretty sure he was doing it for me. I mean, the guy had to see what kind of pain I was in. And his solution was to slightly embarrass me by bringing up my grandmother’s famous past.

Nana laughed and started talking about her adventures in the tech world.

I sighed internally. Crisis avoided. Nate hadn’t stormed out. Mother hadn’t thrown him out. Nana was making us laugh. Yes, life could go on.

The rest of the meal was pleasant. Not great, but not terrible. By some unspoken agreement, everyone had decided to avoid controversial topics like colleges, the military, who voted for whom or what they thought about the desert salamander. They kept it to simple things, Nana’s stories and Jimmy’s work with Helium-4 which bored me to tears but at least it was drama free.

When dinner was over and we were getting up to clear our places. Nate grabbed his empty plate and started for the kitchen.

“No, no,” Nana said as she took the plate from him. “You and Elle go out back, get some fresh air. Ruth and I will take care of the dishes.”

My mouth dropped open. Jimmy and I had been doing dishes since forever. I couldn’t remember the last time Mom had done them.

“Okay,” Nate said as he smiled at Nana. “It was really good.”

Nana beamed back at him, I swear if she was fifty years younger she’d have pushed me aside to get to him.

Nate looked at me, raising an eyebrow in question. It took me a second to get my thoughts back in line. Oh yeah, outside. He probably expected me to lead the way.

My heart began to flutter as I thought of the soft California evening. A cool breeze blowing in from the ocean with a hint of salt in the air. The soft rustle of palm leaves. A dark, starry night. Very romantic.

“Hey, I’ll join you guys,” Jimmy said as he pushed his way between us and out onto the deck.

The curse returns, I thought. Nate shot me a quick glance that could have meant a dozen different things. Either he was thinking that Jimmy was ruining things. Or he was thinking, thank god, Jimmy was ruining things. I couldn’t tell which. And that fact tore at my stomach. I’d never know what was fake and what was real.

The three of us stood there on the patio in silence looking up at the stars. Nate shooting me quick glances, the butterflies in my stomach jumping around like they were kids on a trampoline and Jimmy showing off his knowledge of the various star systems. Quoting how far away they were and what type of stars. I swear the punk had them all cataloged.

My mind frantically tried to find something to say. Some way to break this evil tension.

“Jimmy,” Nana called from inside. “Come empty the trash.”

Jimmy’s brow creased in confusion. “I just emptied it before dinner,” he said.

“You heard the woman, you better hurry,” I said as my heart jumped. I really loved my Nana, she was just the best.

As Jimmy stepped inside, shaking his head from side to side like a confused hamster, I turned to look up at Nate. Finally, alone.

“I should probably be going,” he said with a doubtful tilt of his head. Like he didn’t want to upset me or something.

My heart fell. Going, so soon? But then, who could blame him. He had probably been looking for an honorable exit all night.

“Um … Sure, … okay,” I managed to get out.

“Let me go tell everyone goodbye.”

All I could do was nod my head. I mean, of course, I didn’t agree with him. But what was I going to say? No, you can’t go, we’re kidnapping you?

Nate thanked my Mom and Nana again and explained that he needed to get home. Mom looked almost relieved. Nana shot me a quick look that let me know she thought I’d failed at something important. What did she want me to do? Hit him over the head and drag him back to my room?

“I’ll see you tomorrow. Jimmy,” he added when we walked to the front door. “Don’t let that MIT guy push you around.”

Jimmy laughed. “When it comes to this stuff, I do the pushing.”

Nate chuckled and gently punched him in the arm. Jimmy smiled like he’d just been awarded the Nobel prize in physics.

A wave of melancholy washed over me. He was leaving. Boy, was Jeanna right, I did have it bad.

“I’ll walk you to your truck,” I spurted out as I realized I was searching for anything to prolong our evening together.

He smiled and nodded, setting my fear to rest. I hadn’t overstepped.

When we got to his truck he leaned his back against the fender and stared into my eyes. The boy was just so confident. So in the moment. Nothing ever bothered him.

“I’m sorry,” I said because I was. I should never have put him through this night.

His brow narrowed, “For what?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “My Mom, making you go through this. Everything.”

He continued to frown for a moment then pulled me into his arms.

Yes! I thought as I melted into him. Drinking in his energy and strength as his hand rubbed my back. Yes, this was where I belonged and yes, he didn’t hate me.

As I lay my head on his chest, he leaned down to whisper into my ear. “Jimmy’s watching us from his window.”

My heart stopped and my stomach fell to the ground. Would it always be this way? Me getting my hopes up. He being nice and tender towards me just to fool my brother.

I continued to hold on for just a moment longer before I pushed back slightly and smiled up at him. No way was I letting him see the truth. “Thank you for coming tonight, it meant a lot to me and believe me, it will make my life easier.”

Nate laughed as he continued to hold onto me, his hand continuing to gently caress my back in the most delicious back rub in the history of back rubs.

“Good,” he said as his hand gently pulled my head back onto his chest. Almost as if he wanted it there.

I closed my eyes and soaked it up while I could. Slowly, the night continued on. The breeze blew. The stars moved across the sky, and the two of us stood there holding each other.

“I wish I was more like you,” I said for absolutely no smart reason. The words just sort of tumbled out before I could stop them.

“What? Why?” he asked and I could tell his brow was wrinkled with confusion without having to look.

“Tough,” I said, “nothing ever seems to bother you.”

He laughed and said, “Elle, you are one of the toughest people I know.”

I pulled back to look up into his eyes to see if he was teasing or not.

“I mean it,” he continued,

“How,” I asked, desperately clinging to his compliment.

He laughed again. “Well, let's see. You live in a house with three very strong personalities and yet you continue to be you. You take on half the school to protect your little brother and oh yeah. That first day, when Jimmy got thrown against the locker and you thought I did it. You tried to push me away without even thinking about the fact I’m about four times bigger than you. I swear you’d have torn me in two if I had hurt your brother.”

I laid my head back on his chest as I smiled to myself. That had to be the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me.

“You take after your mom, you know,” he added.

“Oh, now you’re just being mean.”

“No I’m not, and you know it. She will do anything to protect the ones she loves. I think you’re the same type of person.”

My heart fluttered as I thought about what he said. We might disagree about me taking after my mother. But I could live on his words for a lifetime.

We continued to stand there for a moment then a door from our neighbors slammed and a car drove by, pulling us both back to the here and now.

“I better get going. And Jimmy’s no longer peeking through his window,” Nate said.

My stomach clenched up as I pulled back and nodded my head. “Okay, I understand,” I said. My voice didn’t falter and I didn’t pout, but it was hard not to.

He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead then turned to get into his truck. I stood there with a thousand things running through my brain and I couldn’t think of anything to say.

He stopped as he opened the door and smiled back at me with those silvery blue eyes of his and said, “Thank you, Elle. I had a great time. Especially the last few minutes.”

My stomach turned over as I tried to figure out if he was teasing or did he really mean it.

Unfortunately, he was halfway home before I figured out what I should have said. I should have said, don’t go, not yet.