Chapter Six
“Hair, bosom, hips, bend of legs,
Negligent falling hands all diffused, mine too diffused,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb,
Love-flesh swelling and deliciously …aching…”
Walt Whitman
I Sing the Body Electric
Isadora was determined to get Parker into her bed. It shocked her how much emphasis she put on getting him naked. Her desire to have him built into such potent need, she’d hardly been able to hold a non-sexual thought for days.
Everything about him turned her on. The way the stubble on his jaw always started to show early in the evenings. The way his eyes creased with laughter. The amount of focus he placed on a simple task, be it tying his shoes or reading an article. But most of all, the way he looked at her as if he were memorizing her every feature and listening to her every word. All of that gave her the confidence to push toward the next stage.
She wanted to know how a man like Parker made love, hoping that he put as much focus into the act as he did everything else. But not only did she want to experience his tenderness and affection, she also wanted to unleash the intensity she sometimes glimpsed.
Maybe her obsession with sleeping with him was some belated rite of sexual passage she’d skipped. On the verge of thirty-seven, it seemed utterly pathetic that she just now had the urge to … well, fuck like an animal.
It was the only way she could put it, though she’d never admit such a thing out loud. But silently admitting it to herself filled her with urges too intoxicating to curb.
She didn’t want it to just be sex between them, but she also wasn’t looking for manners. She was after something darker, something intense, something no one but Parker made her crave.
She wanted it hot, sweaty, raunchy, and unrefined. Pure. Animal. Lust. He’d driven her to this point of near lunacy and she was going to scream if they didn’t do it soon.
The dirty thoughts and dark fantasies were definitely a problem. So anxious to have him, she feared she might lunge at him like some sex-deprived maniac and send him running in the opposite direction, because, despite their smoldering chemistry, something always held him back.
It was if he was purposely torturing them. But why?
She was finished trying to figure out why he was so insistent on waiting. It was wonderful that he had gentlemanly traits, but enough already! She wanted him and tonight she was determined to have him.
As she dressed for their date, she fantasized how the night would play out. They’d have dinner, maybe a few drinks, kiss their way through the front door, and fall into bed. They were finally going to cross that line they’d been tiptoeing around for weeks.
Dear god, her panties were wet from just picturing Parker’s strong body over hers.
The doorbell rang and her heart tripped into a wild beat. Sliding her feet into sandals, she took the steps two at a time and practically skipped to the front door.
Smiling, she flung it open and her heart jerked hard in her chest. Stark blue eyes greeting her.
“Bella.”
“S—Sawyer,” she stuttered. “What are you doing here?”
His gaze had the power to paralyze, pulling her back to a familiar place her mind didn’t want to go.
“I wanted to see you.”
The fact that he’d come by without calling triggered a wave of worry. He’d only show up like this if something were wrong.
What if Lucian or Toni had been visiting? Had he considered that? Maybe he had and didn’t care, needed to see her so badly he decided to visit anyway.
Shaking her head, she chastised herself for feeling a slight thrill that his need to see her might be motivation enough. It was too late for little improvements and normal behavior shouldn’t strike her as something special. He didn’t get points for doing something another man in her life did without question.
And there was that other man in her life now, so he shouldn’t be popping by unannounced like this. “This isn’t a good time. I’m leaving in a few minutes.”
“Can I come in? I just need to speak to you for a moment.”
Startled by his persistence and worried something might actually be wrong, she stepped back and let him in. “Is everything okay?”
Her mind briefly touched on her father, certain Tibet would have contacted them before Sawyer if anything were wrong. The days of Sawyer acting as her father’s go-between ended when their partnership dissolved with the buyout of Leningrad.
He paced, hands in his pockets, brow tense. “Can we sit down?”
“Okay, but I only have a few minutes.”
He nodded and she followed him into the den where, despite asking for a place to sit, he proceeded to pace. She rested on the arm of a chair and waited for him to voice whatever he’d come there to say.
“I know the last time we spoke you were upset with me.”
“I was,” she admitted. Still am.
“I’m sorry.”
Her brow raised, as she doubted he really understood how hurtful his little attempt to get her back into bed actually was. “Are you?”
“Yes. I treated you … cheaply. I don’t know what got into me, but I’m glad you walked out. I deserved that.”
“Is that supposed to be an apology?”
He paused from pacing and met her gaze. “I am sorry, Isadora.”
She nodded her acceptance of his regret. “Is that what you came to say?”
It seemed strange that this was the first time she wasn’t consumed by his absence. Actually having him in her house drove that point to the forefront of her consciousness. Did he sense she’d been getting along fine without him for once?
“Bella, I don’t know how to not worry about you.”
Her brow tightened. It was odd for him to indicate he thought of her when they were apart. Nice sentiment, but not what she needed at the moment.
“Sawyer, I’m okay.”
He stilled and gave her an assessing glance. “Are you?”
She smiled at his concern. “Yes. I was upset and hurt, but I honestly haven’t thought about it for weeks.”
“You don’t hate me?”
“Of course not. I could never hate you.” Picturing him with that woman still hurt, but she’d tried not to dwell on things outside of her control. “Maybe this time we’re both ready to move on.”
He frowned and shook his head slowly, his gaze on the floor. “I don’t know.”
Her shaky smile fell. Breath stilled in her chest as a dull throb started in her fragile heart. Brave indifference faded into something heavy that she didn’t want to hold, something dangerous, something threatening.
Sliding off the arm of the chair, she took a step back, her arms closing over her chest protectively.
“Why are you here?”
His expression softened and he approached her. “Something’s different this time.”
“Different how?”
“I miss you … more. Not just in my bed, but in my life. I know I’ve screwed this up and I don’t deserve anything from you, but… What if we tried again? It would be better this time. I’d … try my best to…” His brow creased as he struggled to get the words out. “I’ve changed, bella. I know that doesn’t erase my mistakes, but if you could forgive me we might actually get it right this time. I’m done hiding.”
She staggered back another step, certain she hadn’t heard him correctly. “What are you saying?”
He thrust a hand through his hair, an uncharacteristic show of nervousness she wasn’t used to seeing from him. “I’m saying … we could be together, a couple. Screw everyone else.”
Her eyes widened. This had to be some sort of misunderstanding. “Wha—why now?”
“Slade says the issues between him and your brother are smoothing—”
“No, Sawyer. Give me something a little more definitive than your son’s place in our personal life and my brother’s issues with him.”
“But that was a big deal. Family’s important.”
“I understand that, but most couples find a balance. They co-exist so one half doesn’t take precedence over the other.”
“Fine.” He drew in a breath and released it slowly. “You’re older now. Our age difference doesn’t seem as significant as it once did.”
“I’m thirty-seven. How is that any different from when you dumped me last year? You know what, forget it. The difference in our age was never important to me. You were the one who constantly worried about it.”
She needed something more from him. Something substantial. Something he’d never given her before.
“What else? Something made you get in the car and drive here tonight.”
His jaw clenched as he stared at her, his lips tight as if he forbade certain words to cross his tongue. It was amazing how much his silence could still injure her self-worth.
Shutting her eyes, she silently counted to ten. She’d told him he couldn’t keep doing this. She promised herself she wouldn’t allow him hurt her anymore. He needed to go.
“You have to leave.”
Startled by her words, his eyes widened. “Why?”
“Because I’m with someone, Sawyer.”
“Hughes?”
“Yes, and it’s not fair for you to come here making promises you should have made years ago.”
“But you said it wasn’t serious.”
She scoffed. “That was two months ago! Time moves on, whether we’re on sabbatical or not.”
“How serious is it?”
“Serious enough that I’ll probably talk to him about this.”
Panic flashed in his gaze. “He knows about us?”
She saw the moment he processed this as some sort of betrayal and she realized, for all his claims, things hadn’t changed. “Yes.”
“Then … tell him you need time. Any gentleman would allow you that without pressuring you to—”
“No,” she said quietly, cutting off his request. “I know what it’s like to be cast aside, thinking everything’s fine only to get blindsided by someone else’s uncertainty. I won’t do that to him.”
Clearly, he hadn’t expected such opposition. “Do you love him?”
Her molars locked. He had some nerve, tossing around words he couldn’t say.
“I care for him.”
“What you two have can’t compare to what we’ve shared, Isadora. We have a history.”
“What does that matter in regard to the future? Do you plan to marry me, Sawyer? Will you have children with me? Is that what you’re offering?”
“I’m not sure children are possible at this stage.”
“Charlie Chaplin would argue that.”
“What man wants to be seventy-five when his child’s just graduating high school?”
She gave a sad smile. “The irony of our situation is, had you asked me for more ten years ago, we could have had a flourishing family by now. But you never wanted more children or a second marriage. You only assumed I did. To be honest, I had no clue what I wanted at that point—aside from you.
“I was exhausted by my responsibilities, still raising Toni and always worrying about Lucian. I could’ve been happy just to be with you, but you kept us wrapped in this neat little box. Sometimes I was happy, inside of that box with you, but then…”
The memory of his past rejection stabbed deep. She loved him, would always love him, but he’d hurt her more than anyone else in this world. Perhaps that was always a risk when you trusted someone with your heart.
Collecting her composure, she blinked, only meeting his gaze when her vision cleared. “There were times I had to sit back and watch you dine with other women, attending the same functions I attended. I let you get away with a lot when I was young, but I want more now. I want someone who’s certain they want a life with me. Someone who doesn’t see it as any sort of sacrifice. I don’t want to negotiate my happiness and you can probably take credit for me finally realizing that.”
“I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never wanted things to get this complicated. I was only trying to protect you.”
Maybe that was true, but she was never as threatened by others’ opinions as he was. She never gave her reputation half the thought he did.
Years of feeling like she had some dirty secret to hide—like she was a dirty secret—had filled her with so much unnecessary shame and self-doubt. She couldn’t go back to hiding.
Swallowing tightly, she gave him the painful truth. “I spent years being your kept secret out of respect for your insecurities. I’m not sure you ever considered mine. People have assumed I’m everything from frigid to gay, because my life with you has always been the clandestine reality of a paramour. Your wife passed away long ago, and I was nothing more than the mistress to her ghost.”
“That’s not true. You were always my first priority.”
She scoffed. “Unless you count your colleagues, your social status, and your son.”
“I was protecting you, bella.”
“You were hiding me!”
“It wouldn’t be like that now. I don’t want to hide anymore.”
She tilted her head back, trying to imagine how it would be. Would they live together? Would he put some large stone on her finger like a placeholder in a book, buying time without losing his spot? That’s how he made her feel, like an unfinished novel, coveted yet cast aside over and over again, never truly loved to the end.
With a sad smile, she shook her head. “I’ll always love you, Sawyer. But you were right. I deserve the real thing. I deserve the fairytale. I want a family of my own and I want the undying devotion of a man who relishes the idea of a future with me. I’d never beg that from any man. If it can’t be given freely, I’d rather live alone. If anything, you’ve prepared me for that.”
It was the hardest truth she’d ever come to accept. Sawyer, Parker… It didn’t matter. She wanted someone to love her without hesitation, without conditions. Irrevocably. Passionately. And eternally.
Anything less was just an illusion and as much as she despised feeling lonely, she’d rather be alone than give her life and heart to someone who couldn’t give her all of theirs in return. She not only wanted but deserved the fairytale.
His gaze lowered to the floor, his posture one of dejected hope. “I made a lot of mistakes with us, bella. I didn’t realize what I was doing…”
They were both to blame. “That’s partly my fault. I was so desperate to have you—any part of you—I kept a lot of my feelings buried inside. But I want to be happy, Sawyer. I want the love of a man who doesn’t need to be convinced I’m worth loving.”
“And Hughes is willing to give you that?”
“This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with me.”
He stepped forward and looked her in the eye. “I want to make you happy, Isadora. Whatever that takes. I believe I can. Give me another chance. At least think about my offer before you toss everything we’ve shared away.”
His offer for a future with him, devoid of offspring, ripe with recollections of a passionate start that cooled and heated so much over time that her body was growing immune to the burn?
“Sure, I’ll think about it.” Unfortunately, she wouldn’t have a choice.
Years spent trying to forget him had proven he would always be a part of her, a tattoo on her soul, a scar on her heart, a sad smile on a lonely day. Regardless, she wasn’t signing over her future to any man that couldn’t admit he loved her.
The doorbell rang and she sighed. “You have to go.”
He nodded, cupping her shoulders and leaning in to brush a kiss on her cheek. His arms held her in a brief hug. “Promise me you’ll consider what I’ve said.”
“I promise.” The bell rang again and she pulled away. “Excuse me.” She left the den, tucking away her consideration for a rainy day.
As she opened the front door Parker smiled and she struggled to find her earlier excitement. “Hey.”
He pressed a kiss to her lips and paused, his body slightly tensing. Drawing back, he frowned. “What’s wrong?”
Before she could explain, his gaze lifted over her shoulder, his eyes narrowing. She turned and found Sawyer standing behind her in the foyer. Deflated, she sighed, pretty sure this night would not end the way she’d hoped.
“I was just leaving,” Sawyer announced, stepping past them to get through the door. “I’ll talk to you soon, Isa.”
Parker silently watched as he walked to the car and drove away. “What was he doing here?”
“He just stopped by to talk.”
“Are you okay?”
Uncomfortable with the situation, she moved to the hall table and inspected her purse, not looking for anything in particular. “Mm-hmm.”
“Should I be concerned?”
“Nothing happened.”
He stepped to her back, his hands gently resting on her shoulders. “Physically, you mean? I know that. I know you wouldn’t cross that line without talking to me first. But that’s not what I was asking.”
Her hands were suddenly shaking. As calm as she’d held herself in Sawyer’s presence, now that he was gone and Parker was there she trembled with uncertainty.
“He wanted to talk about us.”
“Look at me, Isadora,” he said softly, and she turned. His brow pinched with obvious concern. “You can talk to me about him. I know he’s important to you.”
She shut her eyes, fighting the urge to cry or throw something. This wasn’t how tonight was supposed to go. She didn’t want to deal with these confusing feelings anymore.
“Hey.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her, balancing his chin on top of her head as her ear rested over his heartbeat. His lips pressed to her hair and he whispered, “It’s okay. I’m not upset with you.”
“I’m upset with myself.”
“Why?”
“Because I feel like no matter what I do, I have no control over the direction of my life.”
He led her to the steps and they sat down. Keeping his concerned gaze on her, he brushed her hair behind her ear.
“Maybe you’re not supposed to have control. I’m not an expert, but maybe love isn’t something you manage. Maybe it’s something that happens to you whether you’re ready or not. What does your gut tell you?”
She glanced up at him, amazed by how easily he could talk about her history with Sawyer and issues even Sawyer couldn’t face.
“My instincts have never been dependable where love’s concerned. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me and now... My life’s different. There’s you and … I’m not sure what he’s looking for, and he keeps changing everything.”
His eyes held a sort of sympathy that hurt more than his anger would have. She didn’t want anyone’s pity. She wanted to once and for all be in control of her own happiness.
It was wrong to discuss this with him. “I’m sorry—”
“Wait.” He caught her hand. “I know you love him, Isadora. I’m not trying to erase that. But maybe the love he can offer isn’t the sort of love you need any more.”
Her face tipped away. Having never been loved, she wasn’t so sure she had the right to be picky. “I don’t know enough about love to know how it’s supposed to feel.”
“But you know what love should be. It should be so passionate, so blatant, there’s no room for guessing. Love decides for us, not the other way around. It’s everything we are and were and will be, folded into an emotion too powerful to control. You shouldn’t have to stop and think if you still love someone. You either feel it or you don’t.”
“It’s never been that easy for me. There are always conditions.”
“Then it’s not an unconditional love. I think when you find the right person, everything else is proven wrong. True love should be the most real thing you know.”
Maybe she didn’t love anyone the way she should. It was too early to decide where things stood with Parker and possibly too late to fix things with Sawyer.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
He let out a slow breath. “Isadora, if you need time to figure things out, I can try to give you some space. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to stay away, but I can do my best if that’s what you want.”
She didn’t want to waste any more time. She wanted to shut every complication out of her life and get lost in the present. She wanted to be happy and she had been, up until ten minutes ago.
Aggravated, she snapped, “This would never have happened if we hadn’t run into him two months ago.”
Parker arched a brow, appearing surprised by her anger. “I think Bishop’s threatened. You’re moving on and he sees that. He had years to get it right and he’s terrified he blew it. I would be too if I were in his shoes.”
His words were logical but depressing. She couldn’t honestly say after everything Sawyer had put her through that it was over. No matter how much time passed or how many times they stumbled, he always seemed like an unfinished part of her life, an old habit she couldn’t quit.
She rubbed her eyes and groaned. Confident women wouldn’t put two seconds of thought into a man who broke their heart twice. “What’s wrong with me?”
He laughed, not knowing how screwed up her line of thinking was. “Nothing’s wrong with you. Someone just came into your home and left a bunch of shit at your door. There’s no rule that says you have to do something just because someone else thinks you should.”
She laughed without humor.
All of her life that was exactly what she’d done. Other people’s choices always influenced her next move. She needed to be responsible for her own mistakes if she wanted to someday be able to take credit for her happiness.
He pulled her into another hug and pressed his lips to her neck. “Do you want me to kick his ass?”
She tsked and shoved him away. “Parker!”
He shamelessly smiled and shrugged. “I’d be entitled.”
She hoped he was teasing her. “That’s awfully territorial, considering we haven’t even slept together, yet.”
He chuckled. “Did you want to remedy that?”
She glanced up at him and pursed her lips, still unsure why they hadn’t had sex yet. “Do you?”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m a guy, Isa. And you’re a gorgeous woman. Of course, I want you.” He dropped his brow to hers and smiled. “Very, very much.”
He had a gift for making her blush. “You see, I knew that. Sometimes I doubt myself, but you never leave me guessing where we stand.”
“Well, let me make it make it perfectly clear for you. I think of you first thing in the morning, you’re a distraction I can’t escape almost every passing minute of the day, and my last thought just before I fall asleep. I like having you in my life and I want to spend as much time together as possible. I don’t care what we’re doing so long as I get to be near you. And anyone who tries to get in the way of that is going to have a problem, be it Bishop or your brother or anyone else. I know exactly what I have with you and I’ll be damned if anyone tries to steal it from me.”
Inexperienced with that sort of possessiveness, she wasn’t sure how to respond. It was nice to feel coveted, but maybe that was some sort of red flag women were supposed to shy away from.
She’d gone so long, never knowing which feelings to trust, it was a relief to have a man take such a direct approach. “I never had you pegged for a territorial guy.”
“Maybe I never liked someone enough to feel that way. I just know I like you and the idea of anyone interfering with that makes me want to let the world know, right now, you’re mine.”
You’re mine…
A shiver chased up her spine, triggering all sorts of warm sensations in her body. His confession didn’t make her feel objectified. It made her feel safe and protected, like she could put down her worries and he’d guard her against anything or anyone that tried to cloud her vision.
She leaned into him, comforting herself as his heart beat steadily beneath her ear. “I like being yours.”
His fingers tipped her chin so she was looking at him. “Don’t make me share you with someone who couldn’t appreciate everything you are when he had the chance. You deserve more than that, Isa. I’m willing to give you more without asking for a single sacrifice in return.”
Tightening her arms around his waist, she brushed her lips against his. She wanted more.
His mouth opened and his tongue softly caressed hers. She twisted against him, a needy pull starting low in her belly, and he slowly drew back.
“You’re upset. Tonight’s probably not a good night to make any big decisions.”
Being let down after being lifted up, hurt. Rejection hurt. Upset or not, she wanted him. She didn’t know how to make that more clear.
“Is it because he was here?”
“I don’t like that he was in your house, but I know you didn’t invite him. That doesn’t negate the fact that I can smell his cologne on your skin.”
She looked away. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. I’m trying to do the right thing. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to strip you naked and slide my hands over every inch of your body until you smell like no one else but me. But the first time we’re together, I don’t want another man anywhere near either of our thoughts.”
Did he think she could possibly mistake him for Sawyer? They were so different.
“I wouldn’t be thinking of him.”
“Tonight, but what about tomorrow and the next day? I’m a tolerant man, Isadora, but sleeping together changes things. It makes things a thousand times more personal. If we cross that line and he comes back here, I won’t stand idly by. Sleeping together means we both want to move forward and leave the past behind. I don’t know if you’re ready to leave him behind.”
She didn’t burst out in disagreement because she wasn’t sure either. Parker had been honest with her since the night she met him. She’d promised the same.
“I don’t know what tomorrow will bring and I’ve never been able to control this hold he has over me. But maybe…”
Her damaged heart skipped a beat as she debated sharing her greatest vulnerabilities with him.
“No one’s ever made me feel the way you have. I don’t know what it’s like to make love to someone who openly shares their feelings. It’s scary and exciting and I want to know what it’s like with you, not to compare, but to simply be with you, Parker.”
“I want that too. Believe me, you’re not the only one who wants to know what that’s like.”
It was a true show of the holes in his own past. This was new for both of them.
Sawyer had created a consequence that wasn’t there this morning and she resented that. She didn’t want to put things on pause with Parker because of ghosts from her past.
“Why can’t we shut everything else out and make tonight just about us?”
His gaze bore into hers as his shoulders lifted with a long breath. “That won’t erase my concerns. If we sleep together, I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle him trying to sell you a different future tomorrow.”
Her heart raced. Hearing him say his biggest concern was losing her made her realize just how much she didn’t want to ever hurt him.
“He asked me to think about it.” Maybe she already had. “This is where I want to be.”
His gaze intensified, as he seemed to measure the truth of her words. “Are you sure? It might frighten you to see how territorial I can actually be.”
“You won’t scare me away, Parker. I’m a lot tougher than people assume.”
He smiled. “I know you’re tough. But every guy has a beast inside of him. Trust me, I bite.”
Not that she wanted to see him pushed that far, but the idea that losing her might cause some sort of animalistic response triggered a part of her feminine psyche. She nestled her nose to his throat and nipped his chin. “I bite too.”
He groaned and drew back. “You make it really hard to do the right thing.”
“Show me your beast, Parker.” Her tongue made a slow glide over the stubble on his jaw. “And help me find mine.”
Although their situations were different, if another woman ever tried to steal him she might truly reach a new level of ballistic.
She’d always preferred monogamy, but over the years her tolerance for even the slightest sense of someone threatening her happiness brought about a rage that she wasn’t comfortable displaying or even acknowledging inside herself.
His hand went into her hair, his fingers tightening around a fistful of strands and angling her face toward his. He studied her through his lashes and whispered, “For all of your gentleness, Isa, I know there’s a lioness hiding inside. I recognized your strength the second I crashed into you. But do you know what the difference is between a lioness and a woman?”
Breathing jaggedly with her throat exposed and her heart knocking against her ribs, her desire spiked even higher.
“What?”
“A lioness never has to remind others that she’s a lion. She owns it, radiates courage, and no one ever doubts her confidence even when she’s the most agile and graceful creature in the room.”
Unable to take any more, she sealed her mouth to his, greedily taking, desperately wanting to let that part of her free. His hands were everywhere, dragging over her clothes and possessively holding her as close as their bodies would allow.
“Don’t be shy with me,” he rasped, his teeth pulling at her lips. “I want all of you. Every inch, every secret, every part they didn’t get. Don’t ever hide from me.”
Straddling him on the steps, she drove her hands into his hair and showed him how much she wanted him with a kiss so raw, so passionate, his grip tightened to an almost bruising hold. Heat spread through her veins as she felt him harden beneath her.
“You have me,” she whispered.
Lust tunneled through her blood like heroin as she hungrily tugged at his clothes, desperate to get to his skin. Enough worrying about consequences. She was through making apologies and fearing what others might think.
Parker wanted all of her. He saw beneath the superficial exterior and recognized parts of her soul no one else registered. He might not love her, but he saw her. The real her.
Her hand dragged over the bulge in his pants and he breathed deeply, groaning through their kiss. She slid off his lap into the space between his knees. Eyes on him, she reached for his belt and he caught her wrist.
“Do you want to go upstairs?”
She shook her head. She wanted him now and didn’t want any more interruptions.
He released her wrist and eased back on the steps, his elbows resting at his sides, giving her free rein over his body. The buckle came undone and she tugged the leather free, tossing it to the floor. Her hands trembled as she unfastened his jeans, not out of nervousness, but excitement.
Warmth crested her cheeks as she reached into his pants, her fingers curling around his thick erection as she slowly stroked. His breath left in a rush and he widened his knees. She nestled her body between his thighs and traced her lips over the smooth tip of his cock.
“Jesus, Isadora…”
Hunger pulsed through her, tugging low in her belly. This wasn’t something she had a lot of experience doing, being that Sawyer rarely asked it of her. But this was Parker and she didn’t want this side of their relationship to be some polite interaction between them. She wanted to give him everything she had and say to hell with grace and poise.
“Will you tell me how you like it?”
“You’ll know.”
Trusting his answer, she closed her eyes and took him deep into her mouth. He sucked in a sharp breath, his hand shifting to the back of her neck.
He grunted as she tried to fit all of him. “Slow. Keep going. You’re almost there…”
When she made it to the root of his cock he sighed, his fingers massaging the back of her neck as she slowly pulled back.
She continued to stroke him, her mouth pulling up and down with long, tight motions. Her fingers cupped him and his grip tightened on her neck, pressing her even lower in a silent request for more.
When she fussed to get her hair out of her face, he gathered the strands into his fist. “Don’t stop.”
His words slithered into her, tightening her body and slicking her sex. She took him to the deeper, now moving faster, each stroke of her tongue a bit more brazen than the last.
His groans escaped in panted breaths as his hold on her hair tightened, tingles skating over her scalp. He shifted, lifting his hips, thrusting to the back of her throat.
He never lost control when they fooled around, but she sensed he was close to losing it now. A trickle of arousal teased her sex and she sucked harder.
“Fuck,” he cursed, withdrawing from her mouth and rising to his feet.
Keeping hold of her hair again, he gripped his cock and guided her mouth back to him. Greedily, hungrily, she sucked him. Her fingers dug into his thrusting hips as he drove toward the back of her throat.
A pulse trembled through the thick vein of his cock and she moaned, tasting him on her tongue. He pulled her back, yanking the straps of her camisole down with her bra, exposing her bare breasts. He gripped his flesh, tugging hard and quick, panting with each frenzied pull, and she gasped as heat streaked her chest in a burst of pure, unrefined, carnal lust.
Her eyes widened as she stared down at her breasts drizzled in his release. He caught his weight on the banister and panted.
In the distant corner of her mind, she relished the fact that he’d ruined her camisole in a fit of passion, and luxuriated in his marked desire running down her chest.
His eyes found hers and a slow smile curled his lips. “You have about five seconds to change your mind, because as soon as I can feel my legs again I’m coming after you and tearing every square inch of clothing off your body with my teeth. One…”
Her heart was a throbbing mess. “Do you intend to chase me?”
He chuckled and rubbed his eyes. “Running will only make me want you more. Two…”
Smiling, her excitement doubled. She had three seconds to get to her bed or she had no doubt he’d be fucking her on those cold marble steps.
She shakily stood and he arched a brow, accepting his challenge. “Three.”
“Four.” He panted.
Edging around him on the steps, she smirked and whispered, “Five.”
He growled and caught her so fast she hardly saw him move. His tongue stole into her mouth, demanding and full of dirty intentions. Her back arched against his arm as he leaned into her.
“You’re never getting away now.”
She nipped at his lips, digging her nails into his shoulders. “Who says I want to?”
He growled, his hand sliding into the back of her pants and grabbing a handful of flesh. “You’re so fucking sexy. I’m taking you to bed, woman.”
Slipping her hand into his, she gave his arm a tug. “Follow me.” She showed him to her room, but felt suddenly shy once they crossed the threshold.
No! Her heart skipped a beat as she feared the same inadequacy she’d battled in the past had returned. But as she glanced at him her worry faded. This was Parker.
He sent her a sidelong glance and stripped off his clothes, placing them on the chair by the fireplace and never taking his smoldering gaze off of her. “You’re blushing.”
“You’re naked.” She was nervous, but had no intention of backing out. She slid off her camisole and met his stare.
His mouth twisted into a full on arrogant, male grin. “And wondering why you’re not.”
“Maybe I like the thought of you using your teeth.”
His eyes darkened and she laughed as he stalked closer, backing her toward the bathroom. His hand snaked out and caught her bra strap, tugging her back to his chest as he bit down on her shoulder.
He gripped her sticky breast, his other hand unfastening her pants. “Get these off.”
Shimmying out of her pants and kicking off her sandals, she felt his arousal pressing into her. He unhooked her bra and tossed it to the floor, his fingers shoving into the front of her panties as he corralled her toward the bathroom.
He teased her sex, his mouth pulling at her throat and spreading kisses across her shoulders. Withdrawing his hand, he twisted her to face him and lifted her hips. She gasped as he set her on the cool porcelain surface of the vanity.
Wrenching her knees apart, he jerked her hips forward and dropped to his haunches. His fingers tugged the gusset of her panties aside and his tongue was on her again, flicking her clit as she arched in pleasure.
Her fingers scrabbled for purchase as her body was assaulted with determined lashes of his tongue. He penetrated her with a finger that quickly became two. He wasn’t gentle but he seemed to know her limits and pushed her right to the edge.
He teased a sensitive spot deep inside of her. Her cries pitched high as his mouth closed over her clit and pulled, nibbling deliciously as her body throbbed against his tongue.
“I plan to wear you the way you’re wearing me.”
Her eyes widened, never having been made such a suggestive promise in her life. Without waiting for a response, he buried his fingers inside of her and used his other hand to rub her clit hard and fast.
Her mouth opened on a long moan, driven so high it hardly made a sound. Her body locked and her release broke free. It was beyond her knowledge how he got her to climax like that. Shocked at her body’s response she gasped and tried to cover herself.
He grinned, a flash of teeth showing virile satisfaction only a man could own. “No hiding,” he growled, dragging her hands away.
She could barely catch her breath. “I’ve never done that before,” she panted, her drenched thighs trembling.
“Well, you’re about to do it again.”
He hooked his fingers deep and pumped hard. Her objection garbled into a deep moan as another release ripped free, just as forceful as the one before.
How was he doing that? How was she doing that?
His palm folded over her sex, gliding over her pulsing clit and up her jittery belly. Rising, his body pressed against hers, his erection dragging hard and heavy over her softer parts, until his mouth sealed to hers in a mind-spinning kiss.
She tasted herself on his tongue and he kissed her so deeply it seemed that was his intention. His hand never left her as his tongue drove her to a point of no return.
“So. Fucking. Sexy.”
She couldn’t form a response because he’d turned her brain into mush.
His grin twisted as a challenging glint flashed in his eyes.
“Give me another one,” he demanded, slipping his fingers back inside of her.
Still recovering, she gasped. “I can’t.” Her body slouched against the mirror, her lips trembling as she caught her breath.
Where had he learned to do that? Even his kisses had escalated to a degree of intensity she’d never experienced before.
“You can.” He pinched her nipple and her eyes flew open. “You’re a lioness.”
Even here, in this mix of lust and carnality, he lifted her up, told her how strong and sexy she was. This was not a silent refuge for them to escape. Parker, for all of his quiet control and patience, hid a world of sensuality and sin behind his composure.
The seductive way he stared into her eyes was her undoing. Breathing heavily, she widened her knees.
“That’s my girl, my fierce little lioness.” His head dipped, his tongue swiping across her throat and traveling between her breasts.
She gasped. Every touch was divine and astoundingly skilled, taking her places she’d never gone.
He was relentless, pumping, rubbing, slapping her sensitive flesh. His words kept coming. Commands and questions flinging from his lips, lit by a fire in his eyes.
“Let me hear you… Mmm, you want more, don’t you? Tell me how bad you want to come again.”
“Please, Parker. Don’t stop…”
Acute pleasure spiraled and flowed through her limbs, as another orgasm gushed from her. He licked along her sensitive inner thigh as if she were wearing the nectar of the gods.
His intense stare lifted to her face. “Beautiful.”
Gentling his touch, he kissed her tender folds. She jerked at the softest swipe of his tongue, her skin exquisitely sensitive and unable to tolerate any more pleasure.
“Shh.” He guided her legs over his shoulders, his fingers delicately curving around her hips. “Just relax now.”
His hair tickled her thighs as his eyes closed and he returned to her sex, his touch incredibly soft and sensual, a gentle slide and tease of lips and tongue that eased her back down to earth.
His fingertips coasted over her belly where muscles jumped and danced. Looking down, the vision of him between her thighs, hands petting her… It stole her breath away.
Her nipples ruched and throbbed, dark and needy. Her body looked unfamiliar, wanton, sexy, alive. It was as if he made her blood purr.
Shutting her eyes she moaned, falling into his languid seduction and letting her head loll. Lips kissed from her inner thigh to her knee. She was in some sort of sex trance. Her bones were liquid and her flesh hot.
She watched him through her lashes, certain she’d never seen a man so sexy. Perhaps the most erotic thing about Parker was how innocent he looked on the outside. She’d never see him that way again.
Even here, he liked to play. But here she also got his intense side. Muscle, sinew, lust, desire. All that he was, seeped into his every touch. He possessed her. Owned her.
Easing back, he grinned, eyes brimming with self-satisfied male ego. When he rose to his full height, it was impossible to ignore how hard he was.
Yes, he definitely had everything.
Parker chuckled and held out a hand. “Ignore it. Let’s shower.”
It took her a moment to find her balance. As he adjusted the water she admired his backside. It seemed unnatural for a man to have such a perfectly tight ass. He was so fit and lean, but there was a bulk of muscle hiding beneath the surface.
Her mouth slowly curved into an appreciative smile. If I’m his, then he’s mine.
She caressed his back and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning into his strength. Mine. Yes, she liked the sound of that very much.
He turned and kissed her slowly. “We’re not finished yet.”
She gazed up at him through drowsed eyes. “I think you have the nicest ass I’ve ever seen.”
He laughed, his entire face coming alive. “You clearly haven’t seen yours.” He squeezed her cheek and growled. “That is a perfect ass.”
Steam filled the bathroom and she shivered. He guided her into the shower and followed. Their bodies were sticky and ripe with the scent of sex.
Dear God, they hadn’t even had sex yet.
Parker’s hands lifted her breasts, stroking her heavy flesh with suds and pressing his front to her back. She smirked, leaning her weight into his strength as she felt his desire physically and emotionally. He certainly didn’t tire easily.
Resting her head on his shoulder, she sighed and let him bathe her. Her smile held as she let him take over. It was going to be a long and incredible night.