Elsie

Xander stacks my empty plate on top of his and balances the knives, forks and glasses on top of the plates. He puts them in the sink and searches under the counter for something, and triumphantly raises dish soap over his head when he finds it.

I wonder if he often does the dishes, or ever does the dishes in his normal life. I doubt it, so I stay seated at the table and let him be real, or whatever it is he calls it.

Putting my elbow on the table, I lean my head on my hand. I’m still trying to figure out his relationship with Luna. I wonder if he’ll answer me if I bring it up now, or if I should wait a little longer.

It is clearly hard for him to talk about any of this and I want to make it as easy for him as possible. He needs to know that I will listen to him and not pressure him for my own satisfaction. That I want to help him as much as I can.

I’m also curious to know what’s going on in the news. My smutty picture must’ve been seen by everyone I know by now and I want to know what the media is saying about me. Have they released my name?

“I should phone my friend Isabel,” I say.

Xander stops the water and turns in my direction. “No, I told you, this is our little sanctuary and we’re going to pretend the outside world doesn’t exist.”

“I have to tell her I’m okay.”

“Why wouldn’t you be okay?” He turns the water back on and furiously scrubs the plates.

“Because I’ve been suspended from my job and am running from paparazzi,” I say, stopping myself from adding duh to the end of my sentence.

“But you’re with me. The guy from the front desk knows that. He’ll tell her.”

“Don’t you want to know what’s happening now? Has Luna made the retraction?”

“We’ll find out later. It doesn’t matter if we know or not, we can’t change anything. We may as well enjoy ourselves in this little house.” Xander stacks the plates on the counter and washes the glasses.

“Yeah, this house is real little.” Maybe he’s right. I’m good at burying my head in the sand and this is just another reason to keep it there.

“I need to find something better to drink. Maybe this place has a wine cellar.”

Standing, I begin looking around the kitchen. At the far end of the island is a glass-fronted wine fridge. I open it up and pull out a random bottle. “Is this any good?”

Xander comes close and takes the bottle from my hand. “Pinot grigio works for me.”

He rummages around some nearby drawers and finds a corkscrew. I pull two wine glasses from the cupboard beside the water glasses and set them on the counter for him. He pours the wine and hands me one.

“Cheers,” he says, clinking my glass.

Butterflies fill my chest again and I can’t help but smile. It’s almost like this casual toast solidifies things between us. “Cheers,” I say, and take a sip.

“Let’s find somewhere comfortable,” Xander says and takes my hand.

We find a room with slightly less expensive-looking antiques that even has a TV on the wall. Sitting side by side on the sofa, Xander drapes his arm around my shoulders and I lean into him, my muscles relaxing against the warmth of his body.

The remote is on the coffee table and I’m tempted to turn it on and see what is happening, but I restrain myself. Mostly because it would mean leaning forward, away from Xander.

A cell phone ring echoes down the hallway. It’s my phone and I move to get it but Xander grips my shoulders, preventing me from getting up.

“Ignore it,” he says.

“It might be my mother.”

“Do you really want to talk to your mother right now and tell her what you’re doing?”

“No,” I say. In fact, I don’t want to have to explain any of this to my mother ever. Maybe if some time passes she’ll forget the whole thing ever happened. She’s pretty old fashioned and I can’t imagine what she thinks of me now.

Cradling my wine glass, I nuzzle my head into his neck and try not to think about that conversation.

“What will you do after you leave the show?” I ask, my voice soft.

“Who knows? I never really wanted to be on it in the first place, so I guess I’ll just go back to doing what I was doing before.”

“What was that?”

“Whatever I felt like doing when I got up that morning.”

“Yeah, that sounds real normal,” I say, laughing.

“What would you do if you can do anything you wanted?” he asks.

“Easy, I’d open my own hotel.”

“Has that always been a dream of yours?”

“Absolutely. And it wouldn’t be a highway pit-stop type place. In my dreams it’s a luxury resort that people come from all over the world to stay in.” I’ve had it all planned out in my head for years as a fantasy that I get lost in when I need to escape reality.

“Sounds like my kind of place. Where is it?”

“In my mind, mostly. But I guess on the coast somewhere that’s isolated from the rest of the world. I want it to be somewhere people go to escape from their lives.” I have no delusions of it ever coming true. My reality dream is to become a manager at the Good Rest Inn.

“Kind of like what we’re doing now.”

“Exactly. Maybe I can make it a refuge from the media destination spot.”

“Sounds like a good idea, I’d back it,” Xander says and squeezes my shoulder to emphasize his words.

“But you don’t have any dreams? Nothing you’ve always wanted to do?”

“I’ve already told you mine, to be away from the posers.” His voice drops, as if he is contemplating how to make it a reality.

“Sounds like it will be hard, considering your parents and Luna.” I say, my voice is quiet but I’m no longer nervous about saying anything around him.

“Considering they are the worst of the worst, yes. What do I do? Cut them from my life?”

“You don’t have to cut them, you just don’t have to see them much. Can you handle Christmas and birthdays?”

“I don’t know if I can do that to Luna.” He tips his head back and looks up at the ceiling.

“Do I get to hear the Luna story now?” Why did he pose as her boyfriend and why did she turn on him with the kinky sex scandal? I can’t help him if I don’t know the reasons behind it.

Xander exhales sharply and starts to talk. “I think it was a lot easier for me growing up, because I was a boy. In the world of my two sets of parents, boys are the ones who do stuff and become things. The women were just there to look good and get fucked. So, for Luna, she got really messed up about her body image.”

“I can see that happening.”

“Everything changed for her when she got her show. I was so happy to see her finally focusing on doing something positive but then…” Xander’s voice trails off and I’m filled with a mix of frustration and sympathy. I rest my hand on his abs and sink into him a little deeper.