Elsie

My face is lost in the soft duvet, my arms and legs useless balls of jelly. My blazer is bunched up around my neck and I think I’ve ripped a button or two off my blouse. Turning my head, I take a big gulp of air, trying to refill my lungs.

Xander pulls out of me and I moan in protest at the void he’s left. I want to turn around and squeeze him tight, but I can’t. My body is a quivering mess. Instead I’m left face down on the bed, my legs dangling off.

That doesn’t reduce the high I’m on. Not just from sex, but from Xander coming back for me.

Before my diagnosis I really thought there was no way I could ever have a relationship. I made myself wall off my heart. Not only because I wouldn’t want to burden anyone else with my life but also because I never thought anyone would ever want to bear that burden.

But Xander does.

I genuinely never thought it was possible to love someone enough to accept such my bleak future but Xander has taught me that that kind of love really does exist.

Everything is different now. He burst my heart wide open and filled my life with undeniable love for him. He wrapped me up in his love and, for the first time since I started having health problems, made me realize I can still be loved.

“Are you going to stay like that all day?” Xander asks. He’s behind me but I can picture him smirking as he asks it.

“I can’t move.”

“In that case,” he says and lifts me up. He lays me down on the bed with my head on the pillow.

Xander pulls up his jeans and does up the button. My clothes are bunched up underneath me, digging into various parts of my body, but my arms are still trembling too much to think about straightening my outfit.

“Next time we’ll have to do that without our clothes on,” I say, smiling up at him.

He flops on the bed beside me and says, “Or wearing that sexy lingerie I first saw you in.”

“I don’t think it will fit you.”

“No? Damn, I thought it would really show off my figure.”

“Ugh, I really have to get back to work now,” I say, dreading the idea.

“Screw work, spend the day in bed with me.”

“I can’t.”

Xander narrows his brow and says, “We can do whatever the hell we want. Starting right now. Do you want to go back to work?”

“No,” I say, thinking about all the paperwork waiting for me in Cynthia’s office and the way I felt when she gave it to me. All my enthusiasm for the job is gone. The only thing I want to do is be with Xander.

“Then fuck it, let’s do something fun,” he says, his dimple on full display.

“Like what?”

“Plan our next move. I was thinking we could travel around and stay at all the best hotels in the world. And when we get tired of that we can open our own,” he says, his voice more animated than I’ve ever heard it.

Excited by the idea I say, “That would be a dream come true.”

“Get used to it because from now on our life is a dream come true. For both of us.”

A broad, natural smile spreads across my face as I realize how amazing life is going to be with Xander.

“There’s a luxury hotel I have always wanted to go to on a remote island off the coast of Newfoundland. It’s a place to go and hide and get away from it all. That’s the kind of hotel I’ve always wanted to open.” Although I don’t know that my health would ever let me actually open a hotel. Maybe if I could use managers to run it and I would just be the ideas person.

“Sounds perfect, let’s go,” Xander says and sits up.

“What? Now?”

“Absolutely. Why not?”

I try to think of a good reason not to but can’t. Not even work. I have zero desire to go back downstairs and put in a shift ever again. “Okay,” I say and laugh but don’t move from my spot.

“You’re going to have to get off the bed.”

“Give me a minute to recover, would you?”

Xander rubs my knee and laughs. “Fine, I’ll book the plane tickets.”

He grabs his phone from the bedside table and taps away at the screen. I can’t believe I’m really doing this. When I woke up this morning I was lost and destined to a lifetime of suffering without love but now I’m about to go off on an adventure with the man I love more than anything in the world.

“I guess I have to tell Cynthia that I quit,” I say. I have no idea what time it is or if she’s back from her lunch meeting yet. One thing is for sure, after this morning’s meeting where I thanked her over and over for letting me keep my job, I don’t want to tell her that I quit to her face.

Rolling over, I force myself off the bed and to the desk. I dial down to her office, my heart pounding as I wait for her to answer. After several rings it goes to her voicemail and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Hi, Cynthia, Elsie here. Sorry to tell you like this but I’ve decided that I can no longer keep working here at the Good Rest Inn. There’s too much going on in my life and I need to go away, now so effective immediately I’m done with my employment.” I put the receiver down, on both Cynthia and my old life. It feels weird but right, like I’ve found my true path and have been smart enough to jump into it with two feet.

Xander comes up behind me and puts his hands on my hips. “Good girl, now let’s get out of here.”

He kisses my neck and for a moment I figure we’re not going anywhere but back to bed. But he slides his hand down my arm and meshes his fingers through mine and leads me to the hotel room door.

I follow him through it and down the stairs to the employee entrance, where my car waits on the other side. As the door closes behind us I scarcely look back at the life I’m leaving.

I’m too busy thinking of all the fun we are going to have. Together.

Life is to be embraced while I can. While we can. One day at a time. The future can wait, we’re too busy loving each other right now.