I don’t know what made me go to him that night.

Steel, the pierced drifter with the neck tattoo.

Mostly I wanted to hurt my reputation.

He could take my virginity and I’d go home, ruined.

I never thought he’d say no.

*** A steamy STAND-ALONE contemporary romance with a smoking hot alpha. No cliffhanger, no cheating, and a guaranteed happily-ever-after.***

Ride to Live, Live to Ride

(Steel)

“Cocksucker, watch what you’re doing!” Whiskey yells, snapping his hand away from the Ferris wheel car and shaking it.

“Kill it, Whiskey,” I say. “I know what the fuck I’m doing better than anyone here. Pay attention, you might learn something.” I’ve spent ten years in the carnival, there’s nothing I don’t know better than everyone else here.

“If you know what you’re doing, why’d you push it when my finger was still in the slots?” Whiskey says, pushing his long hair away from his eyes.

“Shithead, even greenies know not to stick their finger in the slots. That is what a screwdriver’s for.” I grunt as I adjust the hundred-pound pig iron in my hands.

“What’s the matter, Steel? Whiskey high already?” Razor asks from the other side of the half-assembled Ferris wheel. He’s my closest buddy. He’s like a brother, but I don’t even know his real name. When you join the carnival, real names are left at the gate.

“Shit, seriously? I thought you were just hungover like the rest of us. This ride’s a bitch to put up. What the fuck are you doing spliffing up before we get it together?” I say, dropping the heavy piece of metal. I wipe my sweaty forehead, getting a whiff of the diesel and grease on my hands.

“Whiskey, you better not let Papa Smurf find out you’re working fucked up. He’ll slough your ass so fast you’ll be stuck in this town begging for bus fare,” Razor says, walking over to us. His short brown hair is soaked in sweat from busting his ass all morning.

“Like I’m supposed to believe you two fuckups never do?” Whiskey says, his bloodshot eyes moving between Razor and me.

“Not in the morning,” I say.

Razor laughs. “At least not on mornings we’re working.”

“You guys are full of shit,” Whiskey says.

“Go get Zombie, I’ve had enough of you today,” I say, shoving Whiskey’s shoulder and sending him scrambling.

“Fuck you, man.” Whiskey collects himself and saunters away. He’s so stoned, it’d be faster for me to walk to the bunkhouse and back several times.

“Come on, Razor, work with me. I want time to shower before it’s beer o’clock.”

Razor and I get on with our work. I’m surprised how fast Zombie appears, and after busting our balls for eight hours, we finish assembling the wheel.

“Safety check,” I say. As if.

I hook my hand around the outer frame and hop up, landing with my feet on the radial strut. Like a monkey, I make my way up the side of the wheel, stopping at various points to examine the lights.

When I’m near the top, I swing myself into the red car. Sitting, I pull off my sweaty Metallica T-shirt and use it to dry my face before letting it drop to the ground. It feels good to sit down for the first time since breakfast.

It’s great up here. I can see all over this shitty little town. I don’t even know what it’s called. I don’t care about nothing, and number one on the list of things I don’t care about is the name of the town we’re in.

The Golden Arches tower over the place. It’s not quite a one-light town, but close.

Most of the houses are average, full of average rubes with average lives. Lives full of nine to five, bills and debt collectors. Fuck that shit, I need my freedom.

My life is all right. I work hard, but it’s not nine-to-five bullshit. I have a place to lay my head, food in my belly and every day is a different adventure. That’s about all I need in life.

I turn my head in the other direction. East of the park we’re in, there’s a cluster of big houses. You can even see their perfect lives from here. Now that’s something I might consider leaving this life for.

It’s actually a pretty nice town. I’ve seen a lot worse.

“Steel! You think we’re going to stand around busting our asses while you have a chill-out session?” Razor yells.

“I’m doing a safety check,” I say, banging my fist against the metal car.

The car jolts and the wheel flies into action, hurling me and the car forwards. I lean back into the corner of the seat, rest my arm across the back and put my feet up on the edge. I know these shitheads, this wheel ain’t stopping any time soon.

“I hope you assholes are having as much fun as I am,” I shout as my car passes the lowest point of the wheel.

“Hold on,” Razor grins as he leans on the speed lever.

The wheel speeds up to near its maximum. Any townie would be puking right now, but I’m used to it.

For this town, the Ferris wheel is at the back corner of the lot. The carnival is set up so you enter and walk down the midway, then loop to the right for the rides. It’s pretty much a big circle. Little kiddie rides at the front, shakers at the back.

The rides and midway are taking shape. Most of the big stuff is up, it’s just the little things left for tomorrow. The ticket booths, the matting, and we have to check every single damn light bulb. That’s a pain-in-the-ass job.

It’s empty now, waiting for the crowds to fill it up. I always get a kick out of the happiness on the little kiddies’ faces, and I get a lot of joy out of the local girls who are happy to spread their legs for a carny.

There’s nothing better than a rough fucker like me corrupting the local pastor’s daughter.

“I’m enjoying my sunset ride, assholes!” I yell to no one in particular.

The ride comes to an abrupt stop, my car wildly swinging back and forth.

“Get your ass down here and work,” Razor yells.

“Papa Smurf said we’re finished at sundown tonight, woo-hoo!” I holler at them.

I’m at two o’clock on the wheel. The car’s still swinging, but I hop up and grab onto the wheel’s framework.

“About time,” Razor says and starts the wheel moving again, although not at full tilt this time.

I tighten my grip on the strut and get my feet ready to take the change in direction as we go over the apex of the wheel.

With my feet nestled in the joint of the frame, I hold on with one hand and lean way out. As we come to the bottom of the arc, I hop off. Without breaking my stride, I walk towards the carny cafeteria.

My stomach groans as I near the greasy goodness smell of burgers and fries. I normally heat up some ramen noodles in my bunkhouse cabin, but Wednesdays are rough work and I always treat myself to the mess tent for dinner. Somehow dollar store food isn’t enough when you’ve been chucking heavy pig irons around all day.

“Evening, Cess,” I say as I reach the line-up for grub.

Cess turns to me and smiles. She always did have a welcoming smile. Welcoming everyone and anyone to her pussy. Though she must be over thirty now, as her age is starting to show. The straggly blah-brown hair doesn’t help her looks.

“Hey Steel, feel like visiting tonight?”

“I’m good.”

“You sure didn’t think like that when you joined us as a little virgin teenager.”

I roll my eyes. That was ten years ago, I’ve had hundreds of pussies since, and I’ll still never hear the end of being a virgin when I joined the carnival at seventeen. A guy doesn’t get much chance to lose his virginity while he’s in juvie, at least not to a female.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Why don’t you come and see me tonight?”

Because I don’t need to touch the lot lizard is why. “Fuck, Cess, you know I’m all about local pussy. I’m going to find myself a pretty blonde this week.”

When I See You Smile

(Emily)

My best friends Courtney and Maddie pick me up to go to the carnival. The annual Lions Club Carnival is the most exciting thing that happens in the town of Colmar.

I’m glad it’s a warm enough October evening to wear my new Burberry dress. I bought it last month, and haven’t had a chance to wear it yet.

Courtney looks perfect, as always. Not a single piece of her chestnut hair is out of place, unlike Maddie’s wild red hair.

It’s Saturday evening. We’d planned to come last night too, but got distracted with a zombie movie marathon on TV and never made it.

Well, I distracted them with the zombies.

I didn’t feel like going last night. I was too busy stewing over the conversation with my father from right before my parents left for the airport on yet another of their vacations.

“Have fun at the carnival. It should be a good one. They’re a new carnival company this year,” my mom said, her overnight bag clenched in her hand.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” my father said, “I have a reputation to uphold. And as my daughter, your actions reflect on me.”

It was the same crap I hear all the time. I had to breathe deeply, count to ten, and wish my father didn’t have the attitude of a man straight out of the fifties. I swear this entire town is stuck in the fifties.

I am twenty years old. An adult. What does my father’s reputation have to do with me?

Just because he’s president of the Lions Club, and has the largest car dealership network in North Carolina, doesn’t mean he has to have a daughter who never gets to have any fun.

As Courtney, Maddie and I near the gates, the noise of the rides and people screaming, as well as the incredible smell of funnel cakes, make me regret the zombie movies. I can watch those any time. We missed all the fun here.

The carnival is super busy. Half the young people in the town of Colmar are here, waiting in line to get in.

“What are we doing first?” Maddie asks.

“Let’s go on the rides before the lines get too long,” Courtney says.

“Oo, good idea,” I say.

“Five bucks each admission,” the ticket man says. I recognize him as John from the Lions Club. This whole weekend is their biggest fundraising event. They keep the entrance price, the carnival takes everything else. My father helps organize it.

We pay our money and bustle each other into the park.

“Let’s go straight to the back and work our way forwards,” Maddie says.

“The Ferris wheel first?”

“Come on,” Courtney grabs our arms and we rush through the midway to get to the rides.

“Hey pretty girls, come win yourself a SpongeBob,” a guy at a game stall calls.

“First try is free,” another man at another stall says, spinning a basketball on his finger.

“Don’t look at them, just ignore them all and hurry up,” I say. I hate the games. I don’t see the fun of them. They’re all rigged or impossible to win.

“How is there already a crazy long line-up?” asks Maddie.

“Ferris wheels always take forever to get on, since they have to put someone on, move the wheel and put someone else on,” Courtney says.

“It’ll still be faster to get on now than it will later,” I say.

“Okay, let’s do it,” Maddie says.

We join the end of the line. There are dozens of people ahead of us.

Two guys with tattoos poking out from their yellow carnival worker T-shirts walk from the Ferris wheel and along the line.

“They’re cute,” Maddie says.

“Definitely yummy. Too bad they’re carnies,” Courtney says.

“All muscley hard coated-in-tattoos carnies,” Maddie says.

“Stop it, we’re staring at them,” I say, trying to drag my eyes away from the taller one.

Both their bodies are pure muscle, but his chest strains the seams of his shirt. He looks surprisingly clean, even though he’s covered in tattoos. Oh God, he even has a neck tattoo. A scorpion crawls across the right side of his neck, as if it’s crawling from the back of his neck. Its pincers are reaching forward, and its tail is curled and ready to strike.

His dark hair is cut short in a stylish way even my father would approve of. But most of all, his piercing blue eyes are looking straight at me, dazzling me.

“Why, you three are the cutest girls I’ve seen in weeks. Especially you, Goldilocks,” the blue-eyed guy says without slowing down or breaking his stride.

Courtney and Maddie laugh.

“Do you use that line in every town?” Courtney asks.

He chuckles, transforming his already attractive face into movie star quality. I try to look away, to let the lights of the moving Ferris wheel lure my gaze, but I can’t. Courtney’s right, of course, but I can’t help being flattered that he singled me out.

His blue eyes rake up and down my body. My cheeks heat in a blush, and I look away before Courtney notices.

“See you girls around,” he says, as the two of them walk by us.

I turn my head to watch them, but recoil in shame when I find him looking back at me. Swallowing hard, I shuffle forward to keep up with the long line.

My mind drifts back to the conversation with my father.

“Funny how you don’t care who your sons hang out with. Aren’t you worried about them ruining your reputation?” I said, trying not to sound angry.

“My sons are both men now. Their reputations are their own.” One of my brothers is eighteen, younger than me.

“But I’m a woman, so my reputation isn’t my own?” I said, widening my eyes but actually wanting to slap him.

“And my assistant business manager, who will one day be my full business manager.”

“So what? You’re letting Max run one of your dealerships, and no doubt you’ll give one to Cody too. It’ll probably be a high school graduation present.” My brothers get everything.

“That’s got nothing to do with you,” he snapped. Of course it has everything to do with me. He gives my brothers everything, and me nothing but a hard time.

“Why don’t you give me one of your dealerships?” I say this a lot.

“Because you’re better as an office manager.”

“Why? So you can keep an eye on me there?” It’s really because he doesn’t think women can sell.

“Emily,” my mother says, smoothing my hair, “Don’t get so upset. Your father and I care about you very much.”

“If you cared about me so much, you’d let me grow up and live my own life.”

My father rolled his eyes, opened the front door and walked through it as he said, “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

After putting up with it all the way through high school, I’ve finally had enough of them holding me responsible for my father’s reputation. Right now, I’d really like to do something to ‘hurt his reputation.’

“You ladies still waiting?” the hot carny from before says, snapping me out of my thoughts.

Turning my head, I see the two guys returning to the Ferris wheel.

“Looks like,” I say.

He stops walking and offers me his hand.

“Come with me,” he says.

I look at Courtney and Maddie, and they raise their eyebrows and shrug.

“You going to throw your weight around and get us all out of the line?” I ask.

“For you, it’ll be VIP treatment all night long,” he says, flashing his killer smile.

I bite my lip, wondering what to do. Then my father’s voice, harping on about his reputation pops into my head, and I take the offered hand.

He leads the three of us past the line and straight onto the waiting car. It’s one of those that seats four, with the molded plastic to look like an umbrella sticking up the center of it.

“Hey, no butting!” someone shouts.

Courtney and Maddie climb into one side of the Ferris wheel car, and I take a seat on the other side, looking back at them.

“Enjoy the ride,” the guy says, latching the door shut. He looks at me as he says it, and once again I feel flattered for being singled out. I immediately chastise myself for being flattered. It’s just a ploy, he does it in every town.

The wheel moves, stopping quickly again to load the next passengers. Courtney and Maddie chat animatedly, but I find myself unable to join in. I’m too busy thinking about what my father will say when he finds out his daughter let a carny take her hand and jump to the front of the line in front of everyone.

He’s going to freak when he finds out, and he will. This is a small town. He probably already knows.

When we get near the top, the wheel stops to load more passengers.

“Look, Emily, I can see your house,” Maddie says, pointing.

I move to turn my head to look for my house, when shouting and squealing floats up to me from below.

My attention is drawn to the ground but a movement on the wheel itself catches my eye. The next thing I know, the blue-eyed guy appears and hops into our car.

“Is this seat taken?” He says, sitting in the empty seat beside me.

Caught in a Mosh

(Steel)

The look on their faces when I jumped into their car at the top of the wheel was priceless. Their chins hit their knees before they started giggling.

Goldilocks especially.

I found my blonde. Goldilocks is the girl I’m banging in this town. She’s tall, with legs a mile long. Her tits are small, but she’s slim all over so she looks mighty fine. Her long blonde hair is dead straight with bangs that reach her icy blue eyes.

“How are you ladies enjoying the show?” I ask.

“We just got here,” the redhead says.

Then the ride starts, giving me about three minutes to make my move.

“That’s cool, plenty of time to have fun,” I say.

“How did you get here?” Goldilocks asks. Her voice is as enticing as her tits, and I can’t wait to hear her screaming when I pound into her.

“I drove.”

She laughs and throws her head back, exposing her long neck.

“Not to town, into where you’re sitting,” she says.

“How do you think?”

“He climbed, obviously,” the brunette says, snarling.

I give her cut-eye.

“You smell like diesel,” she says, returning my cut-eye.

“I smell like a man.”

The redhead bursts out laughing.

“What, you don’t believe me? What do you think, Goldilocks? Do I smell like a man?” I say, putting my forearm to her nose.

She inhales, and her eyelids flutter. That’s all the answer I need right there.

“Don’t keep us hanging, Emily. Does he smell like a man?” the brunette asks, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Emily, eh? I think I prefer Goldie,” I say. I want to touch her hair, but hold off. I know how to play these situations. This one’s going to take some work. But it’s going to be worth it. I can tell already she’s a good girl. The kind I like best. Nothing makes for a good fuck like a girl who’s been sexually repressed her whole life. They’re always the ones who can never get enough.

“Do we get to learn your name?” the redhead asks.

“I’m Steel,” I say, not taking my eyes off Emily.

“Steel? Why are you called that?” She asks.

“Lots of reasons,” I say.

The brunette rolls her eyes, “I thought you were going to say something stupid, like it’s because you’re a strong as steel.”

“That’s one of them,” I say, lifting my shirt to show them my ripped abs.

Three sets of eyeballs pop out of their heads as they stare at my six pack. I lift my shirt a little higher to give them an eyeful of my tattoo-covered pecs, too. Best perk of this job is it gives you a body like mine. Gets a reaction like theirs every time. Even the brunette is silenced.

“You can touch, Goldie,” I say.

To my surprise, she reaches out her hand. Not what I expected from the good girl, but I sure like it. Emily hovers it over my abs, and I assume she’s going to chicken out.

But after thinking about it, she presses her hand against my belly. Her hand is soft and delicate while she runs it over my washboard stomach. My dick twitches in my pants, and I wish to fuck her two friends weren’t here. Unless, of course, they wanted to join in.

I glance over at them. Nah, not a chance. Emily’s the only one I want in my bunkhouse cabin tonight.

“What are the other reasons they call you Steel?” Emily asks, her voice breathy and her eyes still fixed on my stomach.

“That’s something I have to show you in private,” I say, smirking.

Our ride is over. Whiskey wisely unloads our car last, but I still have to move my ass before Papa Smurf catches me.

Before our car even stops, I hop out and stand beside it, as if I’ve been standing here helping people get on and off the ride all day.

I offer my hand for Emily and she takes it. I support her as she climbs off, and Whiskey does the same for her friends.

“Enjoy the rest of the carnival,” I say. This is when I play it cool. I want her gagging for me by the time I find her later.

The three of them walk off without saying goodbye, but Emily can’t resist a quick glance at me over her shoulder. I pretend I didn’t notice, and help Whiskey load the next group of people onto the ride.

I work for another hour, helping Whiskey and moving around the other rides to make sure everything’s running like it should. I’m the ride foreman, and am responsible for all the rides. If we don’t pull in the money, Papa Smurf busts my ass, plain and simple.

But the whole time I’m moving between rides, I’m looking out for Emily. I can’t get the memory of her hand on my abs out of my mind.

Already I’m thinking about what I’m going to do to her after the eleven o’clock closing. I have to find her before then to tell her to come find me then. I’m going to take her to our nightly party before I take her to my bunk.

I’m checking up on Zombie at the bumper cars when Emily and her friends get on, each in their own cars. Fucking perfect.

A bunch of other people get in cars, and Zombie starts the ride. Emily is behind the redhead and her car lurches forward and smacks into the back of her. The redhead flies forward, her head jerking in an unnatural way.

Emily’s car zips near the edge of the course. I hop onto the bumpers on her car and grab onto the metal rod connecting the car to the ceiling. She looks up at me and smiles. I’m not exaggerating when I say it’s the prettiest smile anyone’s ever given me.

The way her eyes crease when she smiles is especially perfect. Like it’s a hint of the way they scrunch up when she comes.

The brunette zooms near us. I use my foot to turn Emily’s wheel and drive us straight into the side of the brunette’s car. She jolts with the impact, and both Emily and I laugh.

“Having fun yet?” I ask, shouting over the noise of the bumper cars.

“Yes,” she laughs.

That’s the third best thing about being a carny — making people smile. Especially when their smiles are as pretty as Emily’s. The second best thing about being a carny is every night’s a party.

Like I said before, the number one thing about being a carny is it gives you a body like mine, with muscles no woman can resist. Which means I can fuck who I want wherever I go. And tonight that’s going to be Emily.

Zombie shuts off the ride, and all the cars come to a standstill.

“Stick around for another turn,” I say, glancing over to the long line of people waiting their turns.

“I can’t, I’ve got to stick with my friends,” she says, standing.

“Suit yourself,” I step down off the bumper edge and step aside so she can get past me.

“Thanks,” she says.

“Enjoy the carnival,” I say. I know exactly how to treat these small-town good girls to get what I want out of them. You have to start slow, or they get scared off.

Another thirty minutes pass, and I move between the rides, keeping everything running smoothly. I spot the three of them at the end of the long line for the Zipper ride and realize this is my chance. Zipper cars only seat two — cozily.

Junk’s operating the ride, so he’ll make it extra long for me. Though he’d better not be a dick and speed it up until she pukes on me.

“Hey, ladies, I told you, you’re VIPs tonight. Come with me.”

Without touching them, I lead them to the front of the line. I nod at Junk, giving him my signal for a longer, slower ride and he laughs.

The brunette climbs into the car, and Emily moves to follow but I grab her hand and hold her back. The redhead either didn’t notice my move, or didn’t care and climbs in next. Junk slams the door and locks it, then moves the ride until the next car is in place.

Emily climbs in and turns to look back out the car. I hop in beside her and pull the cage shut, and Junk quickly moves our car along.

The cage is cramped, and the sides of our bodies touch, from our ankles to our shoulders. She tries to shuffle away to minimize our physical contact, but there’s nowhere to shuffle to.

“What’s the deal? Why do you keep coming up to me?” She asks.

“Because you’re the prettiest girl I’ve seen in the whole country.”

“But not the whole world?”

“I’m sure the whole world too, but we don’t go there.”

Kickstart my Heart

(Emily)

“Oh, where do you go?” I ask, making polite conversation.

The ride moves again. It’s still loading new passengers, so we only go a short distance up the side of the track. Our cage swings back and forth when we come to a stop, and I grab the padded bars in front of me. Steel doesn’t even look like he’s aware we’re moving.

Why does he keep talking to me? This, for some reason, is the third ride I’ve been on with him tonight.

There’s no point in denying that my skin tingles everywhere his body brushes against mine. This cage is cramped, and I’m pinned between Steel and the metal.

“We go all over. Since we’re small, we take a different route every year.” I can feel his eyes on me as he speaks, but I keep my gaze on the Gravitron that’s straight ahead of us.

“Huh, interesting. Have you been in the carnival long?”

“Ten years.”

My eyes widen, and I turn my head to look at him. Our eyes connect and a rush of something moves through me. What was that?

“Wow, that’s a long time,” I say, holding his eye contact. Even in the dark, the blue of his irises is bright.

Our cage moves and stops again to load more people.

“It’s all I know.”

“So, what made you join? Couldn’t find a circus to run away and join?”

“Something like that,” he says smiling.

The smile once again transforms his face to utter gorgeousness, and my heart flutters and I have to look away.

No one in Colmar looks half as good as him. Or even a quarter as good. Even Dylan, our high school’s heartthrob, is a smear on a shoe compared to Steel.

“Something like that? Like I’m sitting in a cage with an ex-con?”

Our cage moves and stops to load another pair of passengers.

“You know, carny code says you don’t ask a person about their past. It’s no one’s business.”

“Carny code?” I say laughing, “Do I have to follow your code when I’m not a carny?”

“Goldie, you’re so pretty, you can write your own code.”

“Then are you going to tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“Why you joined?”

“I joined so I could travel to this town and meet you.”

I burst out laughing. “To meet me? You joined a decade ago.”

“It took me that long to find you, but I never gave up looking. I knew I’d find you.”

“Do you use that line on all the girls?”

The ride moves again, but this time it doesn’t stop. The noise of it creaking and groaning as we sped up is even louder than the thumping music.

Our cage swings more and more each second. One second it’s like I’m lying on my back, the next I’m facing the ground and locking my grip on the bars to keep me from falling on my face. Steel still hasn’t grabbed the bars, and sits like he’s on a chair at a dining room table.

But it’s stupid fun, and I can’t stop laughing.

We’re at the highest point, and our cage flips upside down, causing me to squeal. On reflex, I grab Steel’s thigh. The hardness of the muscle underneath his jeans draws my attention away from the ride.

He puts his hand on mine, and says, “Don’t worry, I won’t let you smash your face.”

I want to ask if many people smash their faces, but I’m breathless from being whipped around. At least, I think that’s why I’m breathless. It could also be from being locked in a tiny cage with a really hot guy. Even with a neck tattoo.

For whatever reason, the excitement, the flattery, the way it makes me tingle — I don’t take my hand from his leg, and keep it there the rest of the ride. It’s not because his hand is still on top of mine radiating heat into me.

We reach the bottom again, and Steel moves his hand from mine to my bare thigh. I’m laughing at the ride, when his touch immediately commands all my attention. Tingles are spreading from his hand and pooling between my legs. It’s wrong, but I don’t do anything to move it.

After a few more rotations, the ride slows and stops to let off passengers. I should take my hand off Steel’s thigh. I really should. But I don’t. He makes no move to take his hand off my thigh either.

We continue to chat as we’re waiting for our turn to get off. He’s easy to talk to, and we laugh and joke around. I still wish he’d tell me why he joined. It intrigues me.

“What makes someone drop out of society and live a completely different lifestyle?” I ask. I’m almost embarrassed by my question.

“Look how much fun I’m having. Every day’s fun. Life’s a party. Can’t you understand that?”

“I suppose. But, I don’t know. What about real life?”

“Real life? You mean running in a hamster wheel to pay bills? Thanks, but no thanks.”

“So you’ll never quit?”

“No fucking way. It’s who I am.”

Courtney and Maddie’s cage opens, and they get out. We’re next.

Steel looks at me and says, “We always have a party after the carnival closes. Come join us. It’s just a few beers and a good time.”

“Beer? I’m not old enough to drink.”

He laughs, “That don’t matter for shit.”

“Thanks, I’ll think about it,” I say out of politeness. Steel may be gorgeous and charming and fun, but he’s a carny. As if.

“I’m serious, Goldie. Come find me.”

Our cage opens and I climb out and walk to Courtney and Maddie.

“Enjoy the carnival,” Steel calls after me.

I look back at him and laugh. How many times has he said that tonight?

“What was that about?” Courtney asks, her lip snarled. For once, the Zipper has left her with disheveled hair.

“Steel came on the ride with me so I wouldn’t have to ride alone.”

“Ew, what’s with that guy?”

I don’t know, Courtney. You mean, what’s wrong with him because he’s flirting with me instead you? Who even cares, he’s a carny.

“He’s just joking around and having fun,” I say.

“Besides, who wouldn’t mind being trapped in a cage with someone as hot as him?” Maddie says.

“Exactly,” I say and laugh.

Maddie laughs too, and I hook my arm through hers.

“Whatever, you’re lucky he didn’t grope you,” Courtney says.

“He was a perfect gentleman,” I say. After all, I touched him first.

“A gentleman with a neck tattoo,” Courtney says, her nose twitching in disapproval.

“Lighten up,” I say.

“You just be careful, he’s scamming you for something. He probably noticed your Burberry dress and is going to try to get some money out of you,” Courtney says as we walk to the Scrambler.

“As if, Courtney,” Maddie says.

“Thank you, Maddie,” I say.

“Like the guy knows what Burberry is. He’s scamming you to get in your pants,” Maddie says and laughs.

“Well, he did say there was another reason he’s called Steel,” I say.

“Just be careful. Your father’s going to freak as it is, since everyone in the town has seen Steel single you out,” Courtney says.

“Yep, he’s going to freak when it gets back to him.” Because he always freaks. Still, there’s a weight in my chest, knowing the lecture that’s coming.

When we get off the ride, our cheeks are flushed from laughing so hard. Rides that fit all three of us are always the most fun.

Steel stands at the exit, with a stick of cotton candy.

“Hey, Goldilocks, you like cotton candy?” He asks, holding out the stick to me.

Ace of Spades

(Steel)

“Thanks, but we can buy our own,” the brunette says.

“Go on, take it, otherwise I have to put it in the trash,” I say, nudging the stick against Emily’s hand.

She looks at me, smiles and takes it.

“I’ve always loved the way cotton candy dissolves on my tongue,” Emily says.

I can think of another thing I’d like to put on her tongue.

“Are you enjoying the carnival?”

Emily starts laughing, and I don’t know why. Is she laughing at me or with me?

“What are you laughing at?” I ask.

“You keep telling me to enjoy the carnival.”

“Well, that time I asked you if you were.”

“Same thing,” she says, still laughing.

“So are you?”

“Yes, it’s lots of fun, just like every year.”

“I was hoping this year would be even more fun for you.”

She shrugs, “Maybe a little bit.”

“Only a little bit?” I say, flashing my best get-them-into-bed smile.

“Why can’t you just leave us alone?” the brunette says.

“And why can’t you just let us have a little fun? That’s all this is. No need to get snippy.”

“Don’t worry about Courtney. She’s just jealous you aren’t giving her the cotton candy.”

I turn to the brunette and say, “Courtney, eh. You’re beautiful too.” I pause and turn to the redhead, “You too, Red. What do you say I take you three beautiful ladies for some funnel cakes?”

“Oh my God, funnel cakes are the best thing ever,” the redhead says.

“No thanks,” Courtney says.

I nod and smile at the redhead, and turn to Emily and say, “What about you, Goldie? You’re the tie-breaker, do you want funnel cakes or not?”

She thinks about it, her eyes flitting between her two friends. I catch her blue eyes and hold them, to convince her.

“All right, funnel cakes it is,” she says, and stuffs a piece of cotton candy in her mouth.

“Awesome,” I say, and lead the three of them to the funnel cake hut.

I overhear Courtney tell Emily, “Your dad is going to flip when this gets back to him.”

Fucking ace. There’s nothing better than corrupting the good girls. I could tell from the second I laid eyes on her that she was ripe for the picking. Who else comes to the carnival in a fancy-looking dress like that? Not that I’m complaining. She looks hot. Fucking hot. I can’t wait until I’m ripping it off her and tasting her pussy.

We have to walk down the midway to get to the funnel cake hut. Shitloads of townspeople are looking at me. No doubt wondering what I’m doing with three of the town’s finest young women. Suckers would all be jealous if they knew it’s like this in every town I go to.

“Don’t look now, it’s Connor,” Courtney says.

“Who’s that?” I ask.

“The jerk she used to date,” the redhead says.

“Is that so,” I say, turning to look at her. Emily’s cheeks turn red, and I laugh.

“He’s winning at that game. Look, he has a massive tiger and he’s trading it in to win a giant dolphin.” It’s the Basket Toss, all you’ve got to do is get the baseball in the peach basket. Her ex-boyfriend seems to be cleaning up at it.

“Your ex, you say?” I start to walk to the booth. Time to have a little fun.

“Hey,” I say. “That guy cheated. I saw from out here.” Cess is going to love me for this. It’s a big hit to her wallet when the big prizes are won, since she’s paid on commission.

“Is that so?” Cess says.

“Yeah, he put spin on the ball.” It’s the oldest carny excuse in the book.

“Sorry, sir. No putting spin on the ball.”

“What the fuck? That’s not a rule.”

“Yes, it is,” Cess snaps back.

If anyone can handle herself in a situation like this, it’s Cess. She doesn’t need any more of my help.

“Can you smell them funnel cakes yet?” I say to Emily, returning to the three girls.

“I can’t believe you just did that.”

“Why? Your friend said he was a dick.”

We pass the Balloon Dart and Shoot The Star. The midway is busy. When it’s this busy on a Saturday night, it usually means there’s shit else to do in the town.

A little further down the midway, I notice a boy at the Basketball Toss. He’s maybe five, six, fuck if I know. His age doesn’t matter, he’s young. But he’s holding a basketball and taking aim with a big smile on his face.

The fourth best thing about being a carny is seeing the smiles on kids’ faces. We’re their wonderland, and every weekend I get to bring Christmas to kids in all the little towns in the Carolinas. I’m fucking Santa Claus.

As we get closer, I realize the boy has a broken arm. Duke’s working the booth. I take three big strides to reach the booth and nod at Duke.

He hands me a ball, and I stand beside the kid.

“Hey, buddy,” I say to the kid, “What do ya say we take this shot together? If one of us gets it in, you win a kangaroo.”

The kid smiles hard, and his eyes shine with excitement. He looks at his parents, and they give him their nod of approval.

“Ready?” I say, holding up my ball.

“Yes!” he shouts, holding his ball tight above his head.

“Set,” I say, taking aim.

He stays motionless, waiting for my next word.

“Go!” I say and release my ball.

I put a hard arc on my ball, and it passes through the hoop with a swish. Even though the hoop is oval and the ball over-inflated, I can get it in every time, that’s how much I play it.

The boy’s ball goes up in the air and almost reaches the edge of the hoop.

“High five, buddy, we did it! We won!” I say, and crouch to get a high five off him.

“Yay!”

Duke passes him the stuffed kangaroo. The kid’s got the biggest smile ever, even bigger than before. He high fives me.

“Have fun at the carnival!” I say, and ruffle his hair.

Emily and her friends had stopped to wait for me, watching the whole thing. I don’t feel the need to say anything. I’m still too pumped from making that kid so happy. The smell of the funnel cakes is calling me, and I carry on walking to the funnel cake hut.

They don’t think I can hear them, but you learn to have big ears in this business.

“He just did that to impress you,” Courtney says.

“So what. Do you think I care?” Emily says.

“If you didn’t, you’d take your eyes off his butt,” Courtney says.

“It is a great butt, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying the view,” Emily says.

That’s why I wear the tight jeans, ladies.

We arrive at the funnel cakes, and I grab three for them from behind the counter. Papa Smurf would dock my ass something awful if he found out, so I don’t risk getting them any of the great toppings. They’re going to have to settle for some sugar on top.

Speaking of the devil, I see Papa Smurf’s stupid red hat coming down the midway. Time to get my ass back to work before he busts my balls about slacking off.

“Sorry, ladies, I have to get back to the rides.”

“No apology necessary,” Courtney says. Bitch.

“So, Goldie, remember what I said earlier, come find me at close.”

One side of her mouth turns up in a half smile, and she says, “Thanks, but I’ve got to get home.”

Wasted Years

(Emily)

When we get to my house, I open the door of Courtney’s Mazda and start to get out.

“Em?” Courtney says tentatively.

“Yeah?”

“Promise me you won’t go to that thing Steel invited you to.”

“Why would I do that? He’s a carny. With a neck tattoo. Give me a break, I have standards.”

“It was just the way you looked at him is all,” Courtney says.

“Nothing wrong with looking at a hot body,” Maddie says.

“Exactly,” I say, laughing. “Look, but don’t touch.”

“And don’t let him touch you,” Courtney adds, finally laughing.

“See yas,” I say, and shut the door to her car.

As I walk to my front door, I glance up at the house. I wonder if I’ll ever live in such a big house again after I move out. I’ll never make the kind of money needed if I’m only ever my father’s office manager. Unlike my brothers. They’ll easily be able to afford our six-bedroom house plus pool once they have several dealerships of their own. Being a girl sucks ass. Why shouldn’t I get the same as them?

I march into the kitchen, and get myself a can of cream soda. Drink in hand, I flop on the couch and flick the TV on.

At eleven on the dot, my phone rings. My mother’s photo appears on the screen and I roll my eyes. I’m twenty years old, and she’s checking up on me. What are the chances she’s phoned Cody to check up on him? He’s not home yet, but he’s never home by eleven.

“Hi, Mom.” My jaw is tight with tension.

“Hi, honey, just phoning to make sure everything’s okay.”

“Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Well, you know, just making sure.”

“Have you checked up on Cody?”

There’s silence for a moment before she says, “No, why would I do that?”

“Um, maybe because he’s younger than me.”

“Well, he knows how to take care of himself.”

“And I don’t?”

Her sigh blasts through the phone. There’s a rustling noise. She must be covering the mic so I can’t hear what she’s saying to my father.

“Honey,” my father is now on the phone. “Remember, don’t do anything stupid.”

Where is this even coming from? Has someone texted them about their daughter talking to a carny tonight? I hate being from a small town. How stupid do they think I am? Why don’t they trust me?

My insides are so swelled with rage, I throw my empty soda can across the room. Some droplets fly out. So what.

“And why would I do that, Dad?”

“Emily, you have to remember what my reputation means in this town. Do not do anything to risk my reputation.”

Seriously? Not, because I love you and don’t want you to get hurt? All that matters is your reputation.

Through gritted teeth, I say, “Don’t worry, Dad, I know how important your reputation is.” More important than me.

“Good, because if you do anything stupid, I’m the one who pays the price.”

What does that even mean?

“Good night,” I say and end the call. You know, right now, for once in my life, I really want to do something stupid. I’ve been good and behaved all the way through my teen years, and now, as a twenty year old, I’m still being treated as a child.

Now I understand that’s why teens rebel in the first place — so their parents get the message that they’re not little kids anymore. Somehow it seems I never gave my parents that message. Maybe now is the time to do that, regardless of what it does to my father’s precious reputation. If it matters so much, he should go live in a big city, where every little thing he or his daughter does isn’t known by every last person in town.

You know what? Fuck this shit. There, I said it. And if I swear, you know it’s a big deal. Like, a really, really big deal.

But I’ve had enough of being treated like a child. I am a grown-up.

And for the first time in my life, I’m going to prove I am my own person.

I grab the keys to my Toyota Corolla and head out the door. My dad owns Toyota and GM dealerships, and gave me the car for my high school graduation present.

When I start the car, another thought occurs to me. I’m twenty, and I drive a Corolla. It’s like I’m middle aged or something. It’s all so boring. My life is so sterile.

My entire life is laid out in front of me, before I even live it.

It only takes a few minutes to drive back to the park where the carnival is being held. I mean, our town is so small anywhere to anywhere is only a two-minute drive.

The carnival closed at eleven, which was ten minutes ago. I park my car right in front of the gate and get out.

The ticket gate is shut. All the Lions Club people have gone home, which is a relief.

They’ve put temporary metal fencing around the carnival, and it’s now shut and locked. There are still lots of carnies inside. I assume they have to count up and shut down their booths or whatever.

I’m not sure what to do, but the anger inside me is still just as raging as it was when I hung up the phone. I walk along the fence, in the direction of the rides.

It’s funny seeing the carnival like this, empty of people but still with all the lights on and workers. It’s almost eerie.

I walk until I see the Tilt-a-Whirl, and spot a carny looking at me.

“Hey, Steel, you got a visitor,” the man yells.

My heart races at his words. Am I really going to do this? Hang out with some carny? I can’t forget my reputation.

That thought clarifies everything. I latch my fingers onto the fence and wait, the fence half holding me up. My heart still pounds against my ribcage.

“Hey, Goldilocks, I knew you’d come,” Steel says, jogging toward the fence. His amazing smile both puts me at ease and makes my heart pound faster. When our blue eyes connect, I feel that same unfamiliar feeling I felt earlier. I don’t know what it is, maybe excitement?

“Am I too late for the party?” I gesture to the fence.

“No, I’d say you’re right on time. Come this way,” he says, pointing in the direction away from the entrance.

We walk along the fence, Steel on the inside and me on the outside. Our pace is slow, set by me. I am doing this. Am I doing this? Yes, he’s a carny, but what better way to send my parents a message?

What stronger message can you send than losing my virginity to a carny? He’s the hottest guy who’s ever stepped foot in this town. Even with the neck tattoo, not to mention all those other arm tattoos. And the pec tattoos. My parents won’t be able to deny it anymore. I am an adult.

Steel trails his finger along the metal bars of the fence, and I walk with my hands folded in front of me. He’s looking at me, and I’m looking at my feet.

It may have been warm enough earlier in this evening for this dress, but there’s a chill in the air now and I regret not throwing on jeans and a sweater.

“How much longer do you have to work for?” I ask.

“Now that you’re here, I’m done.”

“You sure do seem to have flexible work hours.”

“That’s because I’m a foreman.”

“Oh, and that lets you work half time?”

“It does when Papa Smurf isn’t busting my ass.” I glance over at him, my eyebrows knitted together. He catches my eyes and holds them. I forget to put my foot in front of me and carry on walking.

I swallow under the intensity of his gaze, and say, “Papa Smurf?”

“The owner,” Steel says. His smile spreads impossibly wider. How does a carny get so damn good looking?

Stargazer

(Steel)

Emily and I stand still, looking at each other through the fence. How fucking long is this fence? If it wasn’t between us now, I would pull her to me and hold her in my arms.

I step forward and reach my hands above my head. Grabbing tight, I pull myself up, get a toe-hold and manage to get one leg over the top in one smooth movement.

When I land on the ground beside her, Emily’s eyes are popping wide out of her pretty head.

“That fence was pissing me off,” I say.

Emily bursts out laughing, relaxing her crossed arms to her sides.

When the carnival was in its full, noisy swing, I didn’t realize how amazing her laugh sounds. Now that it’s quiet, I want to hear more of it. To let it fill the silence around us.

“You’re like a monkey who’s just escaped from the zoo,” she says.

“Sometimes it feels like I live in a zoo.”

“You live in a carnival, isn’t that pretty much the same thing?”

“Yep. Come on,” I grab her hand and pull her along the fence.

We’re almost at a jog when we reach the carny entrance. Emily halts when she sees it, her feet suddenly seemly stuck in cement. The smile’s gone, and her face is as frozen as her feet.

She’s probably never seen anything like it before. But it’s only a shitload of trailers and a few tents in a field. And some people drinking and smoking weed.

Shit, she really is as innocent as she looks.

“How do you fancy a ride on the Ferris wheel? Just the two of us,” I say, putting my arm around her back to turn her eyes away from the camp. I don’t want her to feel scared.

“Sounds fun. Is it still on?”

“On? Oh, yeah, I have the key.”

She looks at me and smiles. “You hop on first, and I’ll get you up there.”

“What about you?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll come join you.”

I guide her into the waiting car and latch the door shut.

“Bon voyage,” I say, tipping a pretend hat.

“What happened to enjoying the carnival with you?”

“Don’t worry, Goldie.”

Taking three big strides, I reach the control panel and turn the Ferris wheel on, but leave the lights off. Don’t want to attract anyone’s attention. When Emily’s car gets near the top, I turn it off.

Damn, I wish I had a couple of beers with me. Instead, I grab the extra fleece we keep by the controls, and tie it around my waist.

With a firm grip on the strut, I start monkeying my way up the wheel. When I reach the top, I notice Emily’s been watching me climb.

“How long did it take for you to learn how to do that?” She asks when I hop into the car.

“Not near as long as it took me to run along the wall of the Gravitron,” I say, crouching with one hand holding the plastic umbrella.

“Shut up! While it’s moving?”

“Of course while it’s moving. How else could I run along a wall? I can dance and do other tricks in it too.”

“I’d have to see it before I believe that.”

“Maybe later, we’ll see. Cold? I brought you a fleece, but it might stink.” I take the fleece from my waist and pass it to her.

“Thanks,” She takes it and, using her fingertips, lays it over her bare legs. Damn, I was enjoying the view of them. They’re crazy long, and I can’t wait to have them wrapped around my waist.

I take the seat beside her and prop my feet up on the seat across from us. I pull her tight against me, my arm slipped around her waist. Emily is tense, her arms crossed over her chest. Is she scared or cold?

“Everything okay?” I pull her closer against me.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Just want to make sure you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Yeah, it’s nice up here when it’s quiet like this. I can even see my house from here.”

“Oh yeah. Where?”

“It’s that one, with the blue spotlights on it.” She points to where the rich houses are. Can’t say I’m surprised. She screams rich person vibe.

“You sure have a nice house.”

“My parents do, I still live at home.” Figures.

“We could see the stars if the plastic umbrella wasn’t in the way,” I say.

“That’d be nice. We could just lie back and look at them, in our little spot away from everyone else.”

“The best place I ever seen stars was in this piss-assed town in the Outer Banks. There were so many stars, the sky looked white.”

“That sounds amazing. I’d love to see something like that.”

“Don’t your parents take you on fancy trips or anything?”

“When I was younger they took me to Paris and New York, and often to Orlando. Never anywhere you can see loads of stars. But as soon as my brothers and I got old enough to leave at home, they always vacation by themselves. They now do everything by themselves.”

“What the fuck? They should be using their money to show you the world.”

“You must’ve been all over.”

“Forty-one states so far. We go different places every year, depending on where Papa Smurf gets us a pitch.”

“So you live in a trailer all year?”

“No, I live in a part of a trailer. It’s a bunkhouse.”

“Sounds small.”

“I got a bed and a shower, that’s all I need.” She’s shivering, “You still cold?”

“Freezing.”

Emily leans into me. She’s shaking, but I still don’t know if it’s cold or if she’s scared.

I pull her crossways onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. Emily’s scent fills my nose when I put my head against hers. She smells better than a funnel cake, like roses.

“My parents would freak if they knew where I was right now.” Of course they would, all parents freak when they find out their daughter’s with a carny.

“What about you? Are you freaking?” I want her to relax and stop shaking.

Emily looks at me, her eyes moving all over my face before stopping on my neck.

“This isn’t something I do every day,” Her eyes are still stuck on my neck.

“As long as you’re having fun and enjoying yourself, who cares if you do it every day or not? That doesn’t matter. I hate my days being the same. That’s why I love being in the carnival.”

“You’re not going to tell me why you joined the carnival, are you?”

“Nope.” And I make no apologies about it, either.

Emily still hasn’t moved her eyes from my neck. She’s staring at the tattoo that goes up the right side.

“Something on your mind?”

“What made you get a neck tattoo?”

I shrug, “Same reason I got all my other tattoos.”

She runs her fingers over the tattoos on my arms and says, “You sure have a lot of them.”

“I’ve got lots more than the ones you can see right now.”

“Are you legs covered in them too?”

“Yeah, I got lots on my legs.” I don’t think Emily’s ready to hear where else I have one. I’ll let her discover that one for herself later. “What about you, got any?”

“God, no, my family would freak. But I’ve always wanted a little rose on my hip.”

“So get one, how would they ever know? Just put it under your bikini.”

“You don’t understand, this is a small town. If one person found out, everyone would know. And then my parents would freak.”

“I thought you said you were twenty.”

“I am.”

“So who cares if your parents freak?”

I’m a Rebel

(Emily)

Yeah, that’s why I’m here tonight. This is a statement. My parents need to learn I’m an adult. Maybe I should get that tattoo.

“Did your parents freak when you got your tattoos?”

“I ain’t got no parents.”

That’s awful, I wonder how they died? I feel bad now.

“Sorry,” I say. I wonder if that’s why he joined the carnival. It must be.

“Nothing to be sorry about. My family is all down in the camp right now.”

“Your relatives are in the carnival too?”

“No, but my family is.”

“You guys must all be really close, living and working together all the time.”

“One of the best things about this job, when I don’t want to smash their faces in.”

“What’s the best thing about being a carny?”

“Meeting you.”

I roll my eyes at the line he’s feeding me, and say, “Other than me.”

“Seeing the looks on the kids’ faces. Like that kid tonight at the Basketball Toss.” Steel shrugs.

“Courtney says you were just doing that to impress me.”

“Fuck her. Sometimes I get really fed up with townies judging me just because of their opinions of my job. I love putting a smile on a kid’s face.” He pauses. “To impress you, I screwed your ex-boyfriend out of his pride.”

“Connor didn’t break the rules?”

“He broke the rule of being a prick.”

“Yeah, but that’s not a rule of the game.”

“Sure it is, that’s the only rule of the game.”

“So you only did that to impress me?”

“That and show you my abs.”

“I was impressed with your abs,” I say, sliding my hands under his shirt. Man, he’s warm, and ripped. But oh so warm. I slide as much of my arms under his shirt as I can, to try to ease my icy skin.

We talk for ages, although I haven’t managed to find out his real name, or why he joined the carnival.

It must be after one by now. All the houses are dark, and the only light on in town is the McDonald’s sign. Although the carny party in their camp sounds like it’s still in full swing.

My arms are freezing, and every so often I move them deeper into his shirt. He wraps more and more of his body around mine, giving me as much warmth as he can. It feels good. He feels good. I’m afraid to complain about the cold because I don’t want to go back to the reality of the ground.

The party he talked about didn’t exactly look like the sort of place I’d feel comfortable. I’m much happier up here with Steel. Even if it is like being in a meat locker.

“Goldie, you’re not like any other girl I’ve met.”

I look up at him, trying not to smirk. “I bet you say that in every town.”

Steel’s face is serious, and even in the dark of the night, I can see honesty in his eyes. He runs his fingers along my cheek, the weight of his touch forces my eyes shut.

His fingers move to my lips and a sharp, short moan catches in my throat. I’m trembling again, this time from his touch instead of the cold.

My eyes stay shut. A moment later, his hand is tilting my head and his lips are on mine. They’re soft and warm and send a blast of heat through my body. His tongue runs along the seam of my mouth, and I part my lips for him.

Steel’s other hand presses between my shoulder blades, and brings my body tight against his. He kisses me harder, and a moan escapes my throat. All trace of cold is gone from me. My body is pure, bubbling lava right now.

And all he’s done is kiss me.

He breaks the kiss but keeps his face near mine, his eyes inches from my own.

“I ain’t lying when I said that.”

My eyes smile. I want to believe him. To believe this smooth-talking, charismatic man, but Courtney’s voice screams not to. No matter what happens tonight, I can’t let go of Courtney’s voice. I have to recognize this for what it is, a bit of meaningless fun. Otherwise I’m just an idiot.

“Do you believe me?”

“Yeah.”

“Now you’re the one who’s lying.”

“I’m not. I believe you.”

“You can’t lie to a carny, I’m a pro.”

“Okay,” I pause and take a deep breath, “I want to believe you.”

“I’ll take that.”

Before I can say anything else, his lips are back on mine. My God, this guy knows how to kiss. In hindsight, Connor was like kissing a fish. I could kiss Steel all night long.

His lips are soft, but somehow he’s in complete control of me. My lips and tongue are merely reacting to his.

We continue on kissing, and Steel’s hand grazes my skin as it travels from my back and through the curve of my waist. It comes to a rest on my hip bone, and a shudder runs through me. He pulls his lips away.

“What’s on your mind?”

“I can’t believe I’m letting someone with a neck tattoo kiss me.” I can’t believe I just said that.

“Do you like me kissing you?”

A massive smile spreads across my face. “You could say that.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“There’s no problem,” I say, leaning forward and trying to coax his soft lips back to mine.

He moves his head away and says, “I’m worried you’re cold.”

“Trust me, cold is the last thing I am right now.”

“Yeah, but we should go someplace warmer. ‘Cause I want to rip this dress right off you, and if I do it here, you really will freeze.”

“Okay,” I say with a coy smile.

I really am going to do this. And not because I want to prove something to my parents anymore. Because I want to. More than I’ve ever wanted anything else.

“Wait here.”

“Where else could I go?” I say, laughing.

Steel gives me a broad smile, then jumps out of the car. My heart stops for a moment and I hurry to look over the side. He’s grabbed onto part of the wheel just below us, and is making his way to the bottom.

It’s insane. He should have a safety harness or something on. Before long, the wheel is turning and my car reaches the bottom. Steel opens the door and grabs the fleece off my lap.

When I stand, he holds out his hand. I place my cold hand in his warm one and step off the ride. My heart sinks when he lets go of it, but he wraps the fleece over my shoulders, then takes my hand again. It feels right in his, even if it is only for one night.

“We’ll go to my bunk.”

I hesitate and say, “Is that where the others are partying?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you there without those goofs seeing.”

We move between and behind several trailers so big they have to be towed by big-rigs. The noise of the other carnies gets louder and louder with each step. If my hand wasn’t in Steel’s hand, I’d be turning and running in the other direction. But I trust him.

“You do that every night?”

“What? Party? Hell ya. Like I said, it’s one of the perks of the job.”

“That doesn’t get too much after so many months?”

“Hasn’t yet.”

We stop at the short end of a big white trailer.

“Wait here,” he says, poking his head around the corner, “I’m going to unlock my door.”

Steel leaves my side, and I feel exposed without him. To what exactly, I don’t know. I just feel so out of place here, surrounded by the living quarters of carnies.

He reappears in seconds, with his same movie star smile. My chest flutters like I swallowed a million butterflies. I can’t believe someone so gorgeous is taking me to his room.

Laying his arm tight around my waist, he starts to bundle me to his door.

But since I really am doing this, I have to tell him. I can’t not. I mean, he’ll be able to tell, right?

“Steel, I have to tell you something.” He urges me up the aluminum steps of the bunkhouse.

“What?” He hisses, turning his head from left to right as we hurry along the narrow aluminum walkway in front of several doors.

We reach his door and in lightning speed, he opens it, shoves me through it, follows me and locks it shut it behind us.

I swallow and say, “I’ve never done this before.”

Holy Diver

(Steel)

What’s that supposed to mean? She’s never hooked up with a stranger? Or… fuck.

“You mean you’ve never had sex?”

Emily bites her lip and shakes her head. My hand involuntarily goes to my hair and scratches it. No, no. This isn’t what I wanted.

I mean, it’s not like I haven’t fucked shitloads of virgins over the years, but not Emily. She’s different. I’ve never actually sat and talked with anyone like that before. Everyone always bores me after the first sentence.

I can’t be her first. It should be special for her, not with someone like me.

She looks scared or awkward or something, and I feel bad for letting her stand there like that. I press my body against hers and draw her against me. She wraps her arms around me, and I can feel the length of them trembling.

Fuck, I’d planned to nail her up against the wall with her long legs wrapped around my waist.

“I thought you’d had a boyfriend.”

“I did, but it was in high school. This is a small town, and you don’t sleep with anybody unless you want everyone and your grandma to know.” Her face is buried against me. She can’t even look me in the eye when she talks. I give her a reassuring squeeze.

“And you’re sure you want to be here now?” Please fucking say yes, I need to taste her.

“That’s why I’m here,” she says, looking up at me with sparkling eyes. “I may not have gone all the way, but it’s not like I’ve never given a blow job.”

“Did the whole town know that?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. Connor used to say I was really good at it. He probably bragged to all his friends.”

Hearing her talk about blow jobs makes my dick rock hard. I dig it into her, and she gasps. Can she handle the sight of the monster cock in my pants?

I slide my hand up her back until I have a fist full of her hair. Pulling it out of my way, I kiss the sweet spot of her neck. Emily’s shoulders hunch for a second, but I keep kissing her neck. Near the base of it, up the side to her earlobe and around the back.

She can’t move her head because I’m holding it in place by her hair. Her breathing is getting heavier. I love the soft flesh of a woman’s neck. It gets them good and ready for when I move down. Hell, sometimes I don’t even have to move anywhere before they’re screaming my name.

Emily gasps. Her breathing’s going crazy but she’s shaking. There’s no way she’s cold in here. It’s hot in here.

I put my lips to her ear, and in a low voice I say, “I’m going to make your body twist and turn so bad, you won’t know which way is up.”

Her hands squeeze my arms even tighter, and she moans. It’s a beautiful fucking sound, but I want to hear it go so high pitched that she sounds like she’s been sucking on helium.

“But just to make this clear,” I continue, “I ain’t fucking you.”

Her heavy breathing stops. I know she’s confused, but I don’t feel the need to explain myself.

“Don’t worry, Goldie, I’m still going to give you the night of your life.”

“Why?” She asks, her voice a mere whisper.

I sink my teeth into her neck and suck, silencing her. Distracting her. I kiss and nibble at a few more places, until she’s nice and consumed with lust.

Releasing her and taking a step back, I say, “You have five seconds to get that dress off before I rip it off you.”

Her eyes are heavy with want. I’m positive her panties are soaked by now. She fumbles to undo the dress with her trembling hands. I’d rip the damn thing off her right now if it didn’t look so expensive.

After a few seconds, she gets it off. I grab it from her hands and toss it in the corner behind me.

“Step back,” I say, motioning with my head.

I like to enjoy the sight of a beautiful woman right before I ravage her. And Emily’s about the best sight I’ve ever seen.

While my eyes rake up and down her perfect body, her trembling has increased and she looks at her feet. Her bra and panties match, and look just as expensive as her dress. The material is thin and shiny. Shit, they’re covered in pink bows. No way am I getting my dick out, she’s far too sweet.

“Bra,” I say.

Without looking up or saying anything, her hands go to her back and she undoes her bra. She puts her arms back to her sides, and it falls at her feet. Not that I’m looking where it fell. My eyes are staring straight at her tits. My tongue rubs against the top of my mouth, itching to get on those nipples.

I reach out and grab her waist, bend down and take one of the nipples in my mouth. When it hardens, I move to the other nipple.

In one quick movement, I hook my finger in her panties, rip them off and drop to my knees.

While inhaling her rosy scent, I reach my hands around and grab her firm ass.

I start to kiss her again, just like I did with her neck only this time across the bottom of her belly, the tops of her thighs and the fleshy hollow between her thighs and pussy.

Emily’s trembling changes into a gentle rocking of her hips. Her body is begging me. I’m about to blow her mind. But like I said, I’m not fucking her. I mean it. No matter how bad I want to bury my cock in her. Doesn’t matter anyway. What I’m about to do to her will make her remember me forever.

I push her down onto the narrow bed. The bed’s short, so I kneel on the floor and pull her ass to the side of the bed. I spread her legs, pinning them apart with my hands. Even in the dim light, I can see the glistening of her lips.

My tongue darts out to lick her lips, a quick taste of things to come. My dick is so hard, it hurts like hell. It’s screaming to have her lips wrapped around it, no matter if she’s ready for it or not.

But first, I need to properly taste her.

To tease her a little longer, I lick and nip all around her peach of a mound. Emily’s hips are still moving, still begging me. Their need increases, holding them a little higher with each rock, slowing and speeding her pace in reaction to my own.

Finally, I put her out of her misery. I brush my lips across her mound, flicking out my tongue as I go. Her body wiggles and she’s moaning already. How’s she going to react when I really start?

Leaving my hands pressing on her thighs, I start with my tongue. I explore every bit of her folds and her entrance before finally focusing on her clit. After I caress all around it, I flick it.

“God,” she moans.

I latch my lips around it, and suck it in pulses while her moaning gets more and more frantic. No doubt about it, every carny in the camp can hear her now.

The sounds coming from her are the sexiest fucking noises I’ve ever heard. Her body is reacting so perfectly to me that my dick has never hurt so much in my life. It’s begging me to undo my jeans at least, but I won’t. Instead I grind it against the side of the bed.

Without waiting any longer, I plunge two thick fingers into her slick entrance. Her juices coat my fingers as I pump them in her. Her moaning is driving me wild, and I pump harder and faster. My cock screams as I grind it against the bed.

I get rougher, scissoring my thick fingers in her. I feel something. She flinches, and the moaning stops. Shit, did I just break her hymen or something?

I take my fingers out and focus on her clit with my mouth. Holding my fingers in front of my face while I suck, I squint in the dim light to see if there’s any blood. There is. This is my pussy.

That fact surges more blood to my cock and I think I’m going to bust right through my jeans. Holy fuck, this is intense.

Emily starts moaning and moving her hips again. Being more gentle, I slide one finger back into her entrance and find her g-spot. I push against it gently while my tongue plays with her clit. I’m so caught up in how I’m making her feel that I keep grinding against the side of the bed.

Her moans get higher in pitch but breathier. The way she’s responding to me is incredible. She’s close, and so am I. The muscles in my back tense in anticipation of it.

And then it happens. Her whole body twists, her legs wrap tight around my head, and her pussy spasms around my finger.

“Steel!” Emily screams.

Fuuuck. A massive shudder courses through my body. I growl into her pussy and blow my load in my jeans. Sweet Jesus. How did she do that to me? How?

Never Say Goodbye

(Emily)

My entire body is boiling over. I can’t lie still, and my hips and shoulders writhe around on Steel’s bed. I can’t stop screaming and moaning, even though I’m struggling to breathe. All my nervousness has flown out the window.

Steel’s finger and mouth stop for a moment. He leaves his finger in me, which is good. My walls need something to clamp onto. My hips slow, and he lays gentle kisses over my mound and legs.

I sink into the mattress in bliss, and bask in the sensation of the bubbling that still fills my body. My moaning and screaming has stopped, and my chest heaves while I try to catch my breath.

What was that pain earlier? Oh well, it doesn’t matter.

I’m ready for him to climb up here and put his dick in me. Except he said he wasn’t going to. He wasn’t serious, was he?

Steel rests his cheek on my hip and says, “You’re unreal.”

Unable to form words yet, a small groan comes from my throat.

His hands slide up my body, my skin humming under the contact. Before I know it, his body is alongside mine, his hand resting on my breast. It feels good to lie here with him like this, and I close my eyes to listen to his breathing.

With huge effort, I roll onto my side to face him. He’s still wearing his jeans and T-shirt, and I can’t wait for him to take them off. Our faces are inches apart, our blue eyes at the same level. Our gazes lock, filling my body with warmth. It’s a comfort almost, and I’m perfectly at ease where I am right now.

“You sure ain’t like any other girl, ever,” he says, his voice low and rich.

The words fill me. I don’t care what Courtney would say, they wrap around me and fill up with something I’ve never known before. And it feels damn good.

I open my mouth to respond, but before I get a word out, his mouth is on mine and he’s kissing me. Not the heated kiss like earlier. It’s a different quality.

I pull away for a second, “Aren’t you going to take your clothes off?” I ask, moving my hand to his crotch and rubbing his dick through his jeans.

“I already said that’s not happening.”

Why does he keep saying that? I don’t understand.

“You promised to show me all your tattoos.”

The tip of his nose brushes against mine, before he tilts his head and kisses me. His kisses start off soft and gentle, before becoming more and more fueled by want. The hand that’s been holding my breast moves, his fingertips caressing it until they circle onto my nipple.

When he pinches my nipple, a shot of heat pools between my legs and a groan escapes my throat. Steel’s kisses move down my body, stopping in the curve of my waist, my hip bones and my inner thighs.

By the time he finally reaches my mound, I’m so full of lust and need I can barely contain myself. I hope no one hears my moaning, but I can’t help myself.

As much as I want him to take his clothes off, any wondering about his clothes vanishes from my mind. Nothing else exists except the pleasure he is bringing my body.

His tongue and his hand make me more and more crazy with each second.

“Steel!” I scream as my back arches involuntarily. An even more powerful orgasm rips through me.

As it subsides, I melt into a puddle under his touch. After the first time tonight, I never thought I’d feel that way again. Yet here I am, thirty minutes later feeling every bit as amazing, if not better.

“Don’t move,” he says.

As if. I vaguely notice him go into his little ensuite washroom and reappear a moment later. Steel stands in the little floor space beside the bed and looks down at me. His eyes travel over my body while his head shakes.

Scratching the back of his neck, he climbs into the narrow bed and lies beside me. I’m still on my back, and he lies on his side.

Steel rests his head on my shoulder. His fingers trail over my breasts, making my nipples stand.

I want to ask why he won’t take his clothes off. I want to ask why he doesn’t want to have sex with me, or at least let me play with his dick. But I don’t. Maybe I’m too chicken. Maybe it’s only four in the morning, and I don’t have to go home just yet.

We lie in silence for ages, listening to each other breathe.

“I had to get away from my foster family,” he says, breaking the silence.

He told me. He fricking told me.

“Were they a real nightmare?”

“Not too bad. I was just a stranger in their house, and that’s how I got treated.”

“How old were you?”

“Like I said before, seventeen.”

“And the carnival called?”

“It was one option, and it turned out good.”

I hesitate for a moment, and say, “No regrets.”

“Exactly. How else would I get to meet you?”

“Are you from North Carolina?”

“I’m from wherever my bunkhouse is.”

“Georgia?”

“My bunkhouse seems to be in North Carolina right now.”

I’m not going to ask again. He won’t answer anyway. We fall back into silence. I’m exhausted and fighting to stay awake. As much as I want to sleep, I know Steel’s leaving soon, and I’ll never see him again.

His hand leaves my breast and runs over my skin until it comes to a rest between my legs.

Steel swallows, and says, “Does it hurt?”

“What hurt?”

“This,” he says, gently moving his hand against my mound.

My God, it’s feeling pretty damn good.

“No,” I say.

He kisses my shoulder and says, “Good. Because I popped your cherry.”

My heavy eyes open wide as I remember the little bit of pain when he first entered me. The question and the memory make me blush.

“Oh. Yeah, I think I felt something.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

“It’s fine, it doesn’t matter.” At least it makes the idea of having sex for the first time more appealing.

More silence follows. I could lie here forever like this. Although I really do need to sleep. Time fades away as we talk and rest, then talk some more. Who knew the carny with the neck tattoo was such an amazing person. I should’ve known by his smile.

Sunlight starts to come through the window, brightening the room. Shit, it’s seven thirty. I sit upright and reach for my bra.

“You don’t have to go, we don’t open until ten today.”

“My car is at the gate! Someone will see it.”

“What happened to the girl who wanted the town to know she’s all grown up?”

“There’s a difference between an after-closing party and spending the whole night. Word will travel fast. I need to get home.”

The panties are a write-off. Steel ruined them when he ripped them off me. Commando it is. I pull my dress on and Steel helps me do it up.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he says, opening the bunkhouse door.

I look at him and sigh. I really wish he’d taken his clothes off.

“When do you go?” I ask, wanting another night like this. Except my parents get home at supper time today and I don’t think that’s an option.

We rush through the quiet trailers and vacant rides.

“We close early today, at five, then leave tomorrow night or Tuesday morning.”

“Good, maybe I’ll come to the carnival later, to enjoy myself.”

Steel flashes that broad, Hollywood smile at me and it takes all my willpower not to turn around and go right back to his bed.

We reach my car, the boring mom-car Corolla. I open the door and turn to face Steel. He immediately pulls me into him and squeezes me tight. My heart pounds against my ribs, telling me I shouldn’t be leaving this man. I don’t want to, but I have to.

“I’ll come back tonight,” I say.

“You get rested up today. I’m taking you back to my bed tonight, and I don’t think we’re going to get much sleep again.”

A smile springs across my face, and I say, “I can’t wait.”

He gives me a nice goodbye kiss, one that reminds me what I’m coming back for and will make sure I’m back here the second they close.

I get into my car and look up at him. Steel rests a hand on the top of my open door and leans down to me.

“I can’t wait to see you again. I mean it, Goldie, you’re not like any other person I ever knew. You’re amazing.”

Sucking air into my lungs, I swallow and say, “You’re pretty amazing yourself.”

There’s that smile again, the one that I could follow like a lost puppy.

“Later,” Steel says and shuts the door.

I start the car and drive the few minutes to my house. It’s a good thing it’s so close, and my head is nodding with fatigue. I’ve been awake for over twenty-four hours. I’m grateful the streets are still pretty quiet, even though it’s after seven.

When I get home, I stagger up the stairs and flop into my bed, not even bothering to take off my dress. I close my eyes and sleep.

Victim of Changes

(Steel)

The carnival opened an hour ago. I slept for an hour after Emily left, but I’m a walking zombie. Even though I’ve chucked endless coffees down my throat, the noise of this place is the only thing keeping me awake. That and the memory of her. I don’t know what she did to me, making me come in my fucking pants like that. It freaks the shit out of me.

Already I’m missing her, for fuck’s sake. I’ve never missed anyone before, ever. Not even my mother.

I’m going to need a good sleep since I plan to stay up all night again with her tonight. Hopefully Papa Smurf doesn’t send me off to the next town until Tuesday, giving me tomorrow night with her as well.

Another hour passes, and another. My feet are dragging something awful. I’m a bigger zombie than Zombie.

We’re supposed to start ripping apart the rides right after close. I’m going to need energy. For that and Emily.

“Razor, keep an eye on things for me, I need some shut-eye.”

He nods. At least I think he does.

There are not many choices of places to sleep in peace in the middle of a carnival in full swing. Going back to my bunkhouse isn’t an option. The best place I can think of is the back of Cess’ basket toss game. I may get hit with the odd softball, but I’m so tired, I doubt I’ll notice. I’ll be too busy dreaming of Emily screaming my name.

I slip in the back of it and lie down.

* * *

“You lazy son of a bitch, do you know you cost me today?” Papa Smurf screams.

“Huh?” I say, disoriented with sleep.

“That useless-piece-of-shit Whiskey fucked up on the tickets and cost me big. Because you weren’t doing your job.”

Rubbing my eyes, I try to digest his words.

“Sorry, boss,” I sit up, hoping he’ll go away and let me lie back down.

“Fucking sorry don’t mean shit. If you want to stay up all night fucking some local pussy, that’s your business, but make sure you’re here and ready to work when it’s time to work.”

“I’ll work, right now.” I still don’t make any move to stand. Papa Smurf is famous for interpreting anything as being aggressive.

“The twenty-four-hour man is leaving now, and you’re going with him.”

“Fuck that. Since when do I go with the twenty-four-hour man? You need me here to break down the rides.”

“You’re too fucking tired to be any use to me here. Go help him put up signs in the next town. It’s about all you’re good for today.”

“No, I ain’t going.”

“Get your sorry ass in his truck now, before I bust it open so bad you won’t be able to sit for a year.”

Papa Smurf is a mammoth mountain of a man with a passion for beating the shit out of his employees.

“Maybe I want to stay in this town.”

“One night with some local pussy and you’re ready to screw the carnival? Then what would you do? Show up at her doorstep and be welcomed in with open arms? Dream the fuck on. Now get in the truck. This is your last warning.” He hoofs me something fierce in the thigh and I stand.

This thing with Emily was only ever going to be a weekend fling. Tonight and maybe tomorrow, depending on when the carnival leaves.

I’m only losing one night. Though one night with her was already better than all the others I’ve spent with other women combined.

There’s no doubt in my mind I could floor Papa Smurf, but he’s probably right. As much as I’d love to go knocking on Emily’s door, I don’t expect a good girl townie like her would let me move in. Plus her father would shoot me.

“Fine,” I say, walking away to my bunk.

I grab my backpack. I fill it with a change of clothes and my toothbrush and get into the carnival’s advanced advertising truck. I can’t believe Papa Smurf’s sending me to staple signs to lamp posts.

The twenty-four-hour man pulls the truck away from the carnival. As we leave the town, I can’t help thinking what a stupid mistake I’m making.

Alone

(Emily)

“Emily Grace Williamson, how dare you disgrace our family!”

The roar of my father’s voice startles me from my sleep. Disoriented, my heart thumps in my chest at being awoken so abruptly.

I sit up and blink to clear the sleepiness from my eyes. A glance at the clock shows the time is five in the afternoon. I vaguely panic that I should be getting ready and going to find Steel.

“What kind of whore are you?” my father screams. He moves to the side of the bed and towers over me, his eyes burning into my skin. My mother stands behind him, looking worried.

Still in the process of waking up, I don’t say anything.

“Do you know how many phone calls I got about you whoring at the carnival? The carnival! So help me God, what did I ever do to deserve a daughter who goes around with carnies? Carnies!”

“Dad,” I start.

“You single-handedly destroyed my good name in this town. How am I ever going to be elected regional Lions Club president now?”

I pull the pillows over my head, blocking myself from him.

“Honey, why did you do that? You’re a good girl from a good family. It’s not safe,” my mother says, on the verge of tears, her voice breaking. Or maybe she’s been crying already.

All I want to do is get out of here and find Steel.

“Leave me alone,” I say, my voice muffled by the pillows.

“How am I supposed to recover from this? I’m the president of the Lions Club, and your actions are going to cost me that.”

I fling the pillows off and sit up.

“I am an adult. My actions are nothing to do with you and your stupid club.”

“I don’t give a damn what age you are, I will not stand by while my daughter drags my name through the mud!” my father screams.

“Honey, I’m just so worried about you, it’s not safe to be hanging around with those types, you’re liable to end up dead in a ditch,” my mother says through her sobs.

“You two are ridiculous. And selfish. I’m leaving.”

Grateful I still have my dress on, I leap out of bed and stomp to my door. My father moves faster than a wide receiver and reaches the door before me.

“Over my dead body,” he says through gritted teeth, his nostrils flaring.

“You can’t stop me, I’m an adult. Get out of my way.”

“Don’t you dare speak to me like that in my house,” he says.

“So get out of my way, and I won’t have to.”

My mother latches onto my arm and pulls. Her tears are flowing uncontrollably and she tries to wrestle me back to the bed.

“They’re all drifters who are lying cheats and criminals. It’s not safe. I need my baby to be safe. I couldn’t live if something happened to you,” she says.

“Let me go,” I say, shaking my arm, “I mean it!”

My father steps over the threshold and beckons my mother. She goes to his side and he slams the door.

I yank at the door handle, twisting and turning, but it won’t budge. He’s holding the handle from the other side. The hiss of his whispering to my mother comes through the door, but I can’t make it out.

“This is confinement, you can’t do this to me.”

“Emily, I’m going to bring you up some supper,” my mother says in her most caring voice. It’s as though I’ve fallen off my bike and skinned my knee.

Growling, I storm back to my bed and grab my phone from my bedside table. As fast as I can, I type Maddie a text.

My parents are holding me captive

Good then you won’t go back to that creep carny today

Unbelievable. I thought she’d understand, unlike Courtney.

He isn’t a creep

I hit send, slam the phone down and cry myself back to sleep.

I Remember You

(Steel)

It’s November, we’re in Georgia, near the Florida border, and it’s the last night of the carnival before the winter break. Traditionally, it’s the biggest party night of the year. Only I don’t feel like partying.

“Going to be a great night, this is always the best night for choice pussy. Remember last year? You had two at once,” Razor says.

I grunt at him. He knows I’ve lost all interest in it. Emily still hasn’t left my head. Pretty local girls keep throwing themselves at me, and all I’ve done is curl my nose and push them off me.

It kills me that she thinks I left without saying goodbye.

“Zombie went and found a whole truckload of girls for tonight.”

“Don’t care.”

“Come on, man. You can’t get hung up on that chick. Face it, you’re never going to see her again.”

“I’ll find her.”

“Then what? You get married and have babies? Keep it real, none of these townies sees us as anything other than one of the carnival rides. One weekend a year is all the fun they want from us.”

I don’t feel the need to respond to him. Something happened that night between us, something more. I’ll be damned if I don’t find her and keep her for good. Whatever it takes.

Every night since Papa Smurf sent me away with the twenty-four-hour man, I’ve been trying to find out what the name of her town is.

Papa Smurf had something big on the twenty-four-hour man, and whatever it was, it was big enough that he wouldn’t even give me a whiff of a hint about the name of the town. The minute the carnival season finished, he took off, never to be seen or heard from again. Whatever Papa Smurf had on him must’ve been big.

I kick myself every day for not paying more attention to the names of all the small towns we go to. But it’s the same with Razor and Whiskey and all the other carnies. You’d think at least one of us would pay attention to the names of towns. But no, apparently not, and now I’m paying the price.

I sit and party with them every night, but as soon as I’ve had enough, I go back to my bunk and spend forever on my phone to try to figure out what town Emily lives in.

It’s costing me a fortune in data charges on my phone, but I’m been looking at photos of every potential town to find hers. Not that I saw anything about the town, other than my look of it from the Ferris wheel when we first put it up. There are a whole lot of Golden Arches out there, and they aren’t much of a landmark to go by.

When I’ve had enough of that, I close my eyes and remember her scent, her taste and the way she responded to me. After I’m spent, I think of the rest of the night with her and the things we talked about. Nights always end in me making a new resolution to find her again.

* * *

The season finished a couple of weeks ago. We’ve gone further away from North Carolina, and are in Mississippi, near the Gulf. Only the core ride staff is working here over the winter — me, Razor, Whiskey and Zombie. Everyone else is on their own over the winter months, and many will join us again in the spring. Of course, lots will never be seen or heard from again.

“Tell me, dammit. I finished the fucking season. Now tell me the name of the town,” I say to Papa Smurf.

“You expect me to remember the name of some shitty town? Do you know how many we’ve been to this year?” He says.

“I know damn well you know it, I’ve been asking since the day we left.”

“Maybe I’ll remember it after the painting and yearly maintenance on the rides.”

Asshole. I’d be out of here today if he told me the town. Now he’s using it to make me do the shit work. Maybe my fists could make him change his mind about telling me it.

Except I know him too well. If I break his nose, there’s no chance in hell that he’d ever tell me the name of the town.

All by Myself

(Emily)

It’s December, and I’m standing in the line at the coffee shop. I hear others in line chatting to neighbors, friends, nobodies. I used to be like that every time I went out, everyone smiled and said hello. Since the carnival, no one says hello. It’s like I have a scarlet A stitched to my shirt.

Steel gave me one thing that night, and that’s the courage to be my own person. They can judge me all they want, but I’m going to walk around Colmar with my head held high. They can snicker behind my back all they want.

The Lions Club sponsors the annual carnival, and as the president my father has vowed to never allow Steel’s carnival — or Steel — to set foot in this town again.

“I’m praying for your family,” the old bitty Barbara behind the counter says.

For my family. Not for me, because I don’t matter one bit to these people. It takes everything in me not to tell her to fuck off. Barbara’s the biggest gossip in this town, and I’m positive I’m her number one topic.

I still haven’t forgiven my parents for barricading me in my room. They wouldn’t let me out until all trace of the carnival was gone. The tension in the house is still thick. There certainly wasn’t any ‘I’m thankful for my family’ at Thanksgiving. On their part, or mine.

The thing that upsets me most is that Steel thinks I didn’t come back for him. He probably long forced any thoughts of me out of his head. I feel so terrible.

I don’t remember the name of the carnival. All I remember is that the logo had a clown on it. A zillion carnivals have clowns in their logos. I never knew there were so many clowns before I spent hours online trying to find out the name of Steel’s carnival.

Too bad my best friends won’t help me. I can’t believe they’ve taken the side of my parents on this. I feel so alone, which only makes me more desperate to find him.

“Actually, Barbara, I’ll take my coffee to go.”

“Uh-huh.”

I always have my coffee here, it’s part of my Saturday routine. But today, I’m tired of it. Tired of it all.

With cup in hand, I get into my car. There’s something I’ve been thinking of ever since that night with Steel, and I’m finally going to go through with it.

First, I send a quick text to my mother.

Going Christmas shopping in Raleigh

I wonder what she’ll get me for Christmas this year. A chastity belt or something nicer?

I Google tattoo parlors in Raleigh. I know better than to step anywhere near one in the remote area, and phone the one with the highest rating.

“The Ink Spot,” a gruff man’s voice says.

“Hi, do you have any appointments free today?”

“What were you thinking of getting? Is it something big or small? Do you know the design?”

“I just want a small rose, but I don’t have a design for it.”

“That’s okay, we’ve got plenty of roses to choose from. Can you make it at two?”

“I think so.” It’ll be tight, and I’ll have to put my foot down a little on the highway to make it.

“Okay, I’ll put you down.”

I give him my name and number and hang up. After ramming my phone into my purse, I turn on my car and head to Raleigh. My chest is bursting with anticipation.

Steel’s right. If I want a tattoo, I should get one. No one ever has to know but me, and hopefully him. Even if someone does find out, it’s my body and none of their business anyway.

By the time my hands connect with the tattoo parlor doors, my tummy is fluttering with equal parts nerves and excitement.

“Hi, I’m here for my two o’clock appointment.”

A man who looks twice my age stands and says, “The rose?”

“Yep, that’s me.”

The man pulls out a big binder and opens it to some laminated pages of rose designs.

“These are the roses,” he says.

“I want to be able to wear a bikini without it being seen.”

“No problem, I can put it anywhere you want.”

“And the size?”

“Whatever you want, I can do.”

I’ve always pictured having a red rose bud, and it doesn’t take me long to zero in on the one I like best.

“That one,” I say.

It’s perfect and I’m crazy excited. I’m finally going to have something I’ve wanted for a long time, and it’s all because of Steel. I need to find him again, whatever the cost.

The Memory Remains

(Steel)

I am so sick of looking at, smelling and being covered in bright yellow paint. Papa Smurf has me painting the whole damn Zipper by myself. Asshole.

Any other year I would’ve loved it, because it means not finding a job for the winter months. This year it just feels like he’s abusing me because he knows he has information I want. Information I’d do anything to get.

I can’t help this feeling in my gut, that I should be hitching around North Carolina, going from town to town to find Emily myself. It would be faster than playing his fucking game. Assuming I didn’t freeze to death sleeping on park benches in the middle of winter.

My Googling must be getting close to finding her town. It would be a lot easier if they didn’t all look the fucking same, but I have to be getting close. I have to.

Razor said I’d forget all about her by Christmas, but she’s stuck in my head even more.

I have to find her. And I will.

Papa Smurf walks across the lot, and I fling down the paintbrush to chase after him.

“Tell me the name of the town,” I say, balling my fists.

“The painting’s not done.”

“I don’t fucking care. The painting’s never going to be done, because I’ve had enough. I’m going to find her, with or without your help.” I puff my chest at him, my nostrils flare.

“Steel, calm down,” he says putting a hand on my shoulder. “It’s not what you think. I seen carnies like you fall hard for townies before, and it never ends good for them. You’ve been with me since you was a teen, and I don’t want to see you get hurt like that.” His voice is smooth, and he is saying the most genuine thing any father figure has ever said to me in my life.

“It’s not like that. She’s different.”

“I heard that before, too.”

“I’m going to find her, with or without you.”

“Think about it long and hard first is all I’m saying. One night is one thing, but you’ll find out the hard way that you’re from a different world than her, and that the outside world don’t approve of us. Her folk ain’t ever going to think otherwise. The prejudices against us run deep, don’t never forget it.”

I shake my head at him and walk away, trying to digest his words. Everyone always paints carnies as no good, but Emily’s different. I’m sure of it.

Love Walked In

(Emily)

“My regular latte, please, Barbara.” Each of my Saturday lattes marks another week since I spent the night with Steel. It’s already February, and in my heart I thought I’d find him before Valentine’s Day. But that’s this week, and now in my heart is heavy with the fact that it’s not going to happen.

I still look at my tattoo in the mirror every day, picturing what it will be like to show Steel. And what his reaction will be.

My Googling still hasn’t gotten me very far, despite the number of hours I’ve spent searching the internet. But I have a new plan. A plan that will solve three of my problems at once — my over-protective parents, the snitty snits of this town and, most of all, finding Steel.

I’m going to apply for a job at the carnival. I found a website that’s exclusively for carnival jobs. And I’m going to apply for all the ones in the Carolinas. Then I’ll figure out which one is Steel’s, and join it.

I’ve sent emails to all the ones I could find already, but I said I was looking for Steel instead of looking for a job. Not a single one responded to me.

My mind’s made up. I am running away to join the carnival.

“Here you go, Emily,” Barbara says, passing me my coffee to go. I haven’t had it to stay since the day I got my tattoo.

“Thanks.”

“I’m still praying for your family.”

Barbara still says that, every Saturday without fail. I’ve never acknowledged her comment. Because her comment doesn’t acknowledge me.

Without regret, I turn and open the door to the main street in town. Or rather, the only non-residential street in town. I take a step out, hoping I don’t run into any other gossipers.

“Goldie,” Steel’s deep voice coats my skin in goose bumps and makes my heart starts pounding at ninety miles an hour.

I turn around to find him walking up behind me, his Hollywood smile beaming at me. My heart melts at his sight, and my entire body starts buzzing.

“You came back for me,” I say, my face beaming.

“Course I did.” My heart leaps at his words.

“Listen, we can’t really talk on the street, all the town busybodies are out.”

“Sure.” Steel makes a grunting noise. He probably thinks I’m crazy, but he doesn’t understand what it’s like. Or maybe, he doesn’t care what anyone thinks and thinks I’m being silly.

But I have to be careful. No one can think we’re together. Otherwise my dad will be on my ass before I knew what hit me. And lord knows what he’d do to Steel.

He follows me to my car, and I make him get in the backseat and lie down.

As I hop into my car, I glance in the backseat. Steel’s face beams up at me from his position lying curled up in the backseat. Good thing he had the foresight to put his legs behind the driver’s seat so we can talk.

“Stay down so no one can see you. Do you have any idea how much shit I’ve been through because of that night? My parents locked me in my room when they found out. That’s why I didn’t come back to see you the next night, I couldn’t.”

“You didn’t?” He heaves a sigh of relief. “My boss got pissed off and made me leave that day, so I wasn’t there that night. I’ve been worrying all this time about you thinking I skipped town on you.”

My eyes widen at his words. I’m so relieved he didn’t think I bailed on him.

I want him in the front seat, but can’t risk it in town. I start driving and head out down one of the country lanes. When we’re a little ways out of town, I pull the car to the side of the road.

“You can come up here now,” I say.

“About time,” Steel says, climbing into the front passenger seat.

As he’s doing up his seatbelt, our eyes catch and we freeze. Our faces are inches apart and neither one of us moves. My insides melt and explode at the same time. I still can’t believe he came back for me.

“You’re even more beautiful than I’ve been fantasizing about,” he says.

“You’ve been fantasizing about me?”

“Only every second I’ve been out of this town.” The comment makes me burst with joy.

“I might be guilty of that too.”

“Yeah, I’d be fantasizing about myself if I was you, too,” he says with a broad smile.

I burst out laughing.

“I meant about you.”

“Oh, you meant me?” He says, cupping the back of my head.

His smile is back, and I have to close my eyes and open them again in order to believe it’s real. And all for me.

Steel’s nose grazes mine, and his hand cupping my head tilts it. My lips part as his soft lips press against mine. He’s really here. At first he didn’t seem real, like I might’ve been imagining his return, but now his kiss puts any doubt of hallucinations out of my head.

His lips are the most wonderful feeling in the world, and make all the pain and loneliness of the past few months vanish.

A pickup flies past us, bringing me back to reality.

I put my hand on his chest, and say, “We can’t here. We’re not far enough out of town.”

“What’s the matter with the town?”

“It’s small.”

“And full of people who don’t mind their own damn business?”

“You got it. Is your car parked in town?”

“Don’t got a car, I hitched.”

“Okay, at least we don’t have to worry about it.” How can he not have a car?

Putting my car in gear, I carry on down the country road. I intend to go to Woburn, the nearest big town, just to make sure no one sees us. It won’t take long. Thirty minutes max, once I get back to a decent-sized road.

“Where’re you staying?” I ask. I don’t want him to stay at the one motel in town, as everyone will figure out who he is sooner rather than later, and someone will probably confront him. Most likely my father.

“Haven’t figured that out yet.”

“Huh?”

“I just got to your town this morning, and I’ve been hanging out on the street.”

“Good thing you didn’t do that. My father might have seen you and kicked your ass.”

“What the hell went on here after I left?”

“You don’t even want to know. Let’s just say, my father freaked out and the whole town’s talking.”

“So leave,” he says.

“I can’t just leave.”

“Sure you can.”

Stranger in a Strange Land

(Steel)

“There’s a place up here we can get a coffee at and talk,” Emily says.

“Sounds good to me.”

We carry on driving down the country road, eventually turning left onto a main road. The closed space of the car is filled with her rosy scent. It’s exactly how I remembered it, and each inhale makes me want her more.

“Did you freak too, like your dad?” I ask.

“What do you think?”

“I think you didn’t, not after the way you yelled my name in the bunkie.”

Her cheeks turn bright red and she stares at the road ahead of her.

“I’m just kidding, Goldie, it wasn’t just the way you yelled my name.” She’s the only person I’ve ever talked to, really talked to, instead of just shooting the shit. I’m sure it was the same for her.

“I knew there was something more between us,” she says, her voice quiet and hard to hear over the noise of the car.

I reach over and put my hand on her thigh, the way I did that evening in the Zipper. The warmth from her leg fills me, washing away the freezing cold stuck in my bones from the three days it took to hitch here.

We spend the rest of the twenty-minute drive talking and laughing. It’s like we’ve never been apart. Or like we’ve known each other forever.

The coffee place looks like a truck stop, the kind of place I feel at home in after all the years spent on the road, going from town to town and state to state. I get out of the car and glance down the road, tall signs advertising gas stations, fast food joints and motels line the street.

We each have a drip coffee and sit on opposite sides of a booth. We continue to talk, through three whole cups of coffee.

“What are your plans?” Emily asks, changing the subject.

“My plans?”

“Yeah, how long are you staying in town? Are you still working at the carnival?”

Fuck if I know, I haven’t thought that far ahead. All my focus has been on getting back to her.

“Don’t know. All I was thinking about was finding you.”

“Well, you found me,” she says with a coy smile while tilting her head.

Plans don’t matter much to carnies. I feel like a fish out of water.

“My plan was to find you and now I’ve done that, it’s to be with you.” Emily’s eyes sparkle and she hooks her foot around mine under the table. Her actions cause a huge smile on my face. “And that’s my plan.”

“I like that plan. But where are you going to stay?”

As if I’ve thought that far ahead. Doesn’t she get the way I live? Looking out the window, I see a Motel 6 sign down the road.

“Figure I’ll stay at a motel while I figure out what we’re going to do.”

“Isn’t that going to be expensive? I mean, how long are you going to stay there?”

“Don’t matter how long I have to stay there, as long as it’s near you, I’ll pay the price.”

What am I going to do? Find a nine-to-five job? The same jobs I’ve been criticizing my whole life?

“Shit,” Emily says, pulling her phone out of her purse. “I didn’t text my parents, they’re probably wondering why I’m not back from the coffee shop.”

“What business is it of theirs?”

“I don’t want them to worry. Normally, I would’ve been home hours ago.”

“I hope you’re telling them you won’t be back any time soon.” She’d better not rush off on me.

“I’m telling them I’ve gone shopping at the mall. They won’t expect me back soon.”

“Say you’ve gone with your friends.”

“I don’t do much with my friends anymore. Not since that night.”

“Fuck, seriously?” Am I that hated just because I’m a carny?

“We’re still friends, just not as close. They didn’t support me when I said I was going to find you. All they did was try to stop me.”

I lean back into the booth and look up at the ceiling, Papa Smurf’s words rattling through my head, ‘You’ll find out the hard way that you’re from a different world than her, and the outside world don’t approve of us.’

Maybe no one in her life approves of me, but she does, and that’s all that matters.

Emily sets her phone on the table and says, “What are we going to do?”

“I’m getting real tired of having this table between us. Let’s go check into my motel.”

We get back in her car, and I direct her to the Motel 6. It’s forty bucks a night, and that’s going to add up fast. I don’t want to blow my savings on it. I’m going to have to find another solution.

Sliding the key into the lock, I open the door. The overpowering smell of Lysol hits me, but at least it’s clean. Other than that, it’s your standard two double beds and ugly pictures on the wall motel room.

“Are you finally going to show me the rest of your tattoos?” Emily asks with her killer smile as she goes through the doorway.

It’s all I’ve been thinking about all these months.

“Wait here, I need a quick shower.”

“Okay,” she says, shrugging.

I half expected her to ask to join me, but then I realize this is Emily, the good girl. Who’s still a virgin.

Stepping into the hot flow, I stand still while I let the water wash over me. After three days of hitchhiking in big-rigs, I could stand here all day. But I don’t want to keep her waiting. After ripping the paper off a tiny bar of soap, I thoroughly clean myself and shut off the water.

My clean clothes are in my backpack, which is still in the bedroom area. With only a towel tied around my waist, I leave the bathroom.

Emily is sitting back on the bed, looking at her phone. Good, I’m glad she’s relaxed and not perched on the edge of the bed or something.

When she notices I’ve come back in the room, she looks up. Not very far up — her eyes seem to be stuck on my abs. When I take a step in her direction, her eyes move down to my legs. I realize she’s seeing the tattoos on my lower legs for the first time, and stay still while she examines them. My dick is twitching under the heat of her gaze, the towel shows each little movement.

This wasn’t my plan. I didn’t bring her here expecting anything from her. I just want her. The last thing I want is for her to feel pressured.

The TV remote is on the desk behind me, and I turn and grab it. Turning the TV on, I flip through the channels until I find MTV. Coldplay is playing, which is perfect even if they are old.

“Do you have any more under that towel?” She asks.

Am I going to show her the rest under my towel?

“You’ll find out,” I say, turning to face her. “Now come over here and kiss me.” I stay where I am but hold out my hand, beckoning her.

Emily flies off the bed and into my arms. Exactly the way I’ve been imagining all these nights alone in my bed.

Holding her close to me, I inhale her rose scent and let it soothe the frustration of the time we spent apart.

I kiss her silky hair and down along her cheek. Tilting her head to mine, my mouth connects with her soft lips. Emily gasps and submits to my touch. My tongue probes her mouth, and before long her own tongue is twirling with mine.

All these nights I’ve been thinking how I can make her first time special for her, and now I finally get to. Shit, I almost forgot to show her something.

I pull my lips away from hers and say, “Hold on, Goldie, I did something I want to show you.”

Her brow furrows in puzzlement as I move away from her and to my backpack. I rifle through the papers, my passport and birth certificate until I find the piece of paper I’m looking for and pull it out of the bag. I step back to Emily and place it in her hand.

“What’s this?” She asks, confused.

“It’s a test I did to show you I don’t have any STDs or anything.”

“This is from October.”

“That’s after the last time I was with anyone. The last time I was with you. Now that I know you, I could never look at another woman.”

“What happened to the party every night?”

“The parties were pretty boring without you there,” I say, chuckling.

Emily flings her arms around me. Speaking into my chest, she says, “Thank you for this.” She hesitates before continuing, “I haven’t been with anybody else, either.”

I know that already, Goldie. Your pussy is all mine.

More Than Words Can Say

(Emily)

Steel’s clean scent envelops me, and I take a deep breath to savor it. He tucks my hair behind my ear. The warmth from his hand helps to ease the tingling in my tummy. But the heat from his body pushes the tingles straight down between my legs.

He brushes his finger down my cheek before using it to tilt my chin. His mouth crushes against mine, and all the tingling between my legs flies throughout my whole body.

Every single night since the carnival, I’ve gone to bed sad that I hadn’t found him, and tonight I won’t be thinking that at all, instead I’ll be elated that he found me.

Though I didn’t wake up this morning thinking today would be the day I’d be in a motel room with a mostly naked Steel. It’s all so fast, but at the same time, so right.

In the back of my head, it seems like I should be more nervous, but I’m not. Everything feels exactly as it should. In the months I spent longing for Steel, I sometimes wondered if my memory of that one night was wrong.

My friends and family told me over and over that I was being silly, and that one night could never mean so much. But after the hours spent with Steel today, I know they were wrong and my memory was right.

The test he did for me proves it. That was so sweet of him. It makes me crazy happy to know that all these months he’s been thinking of me the same way I’ve been thinking of him.

And now I’m in Steel’s arms. I never want to leave them.

I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I’m a little nervous. I have no idea what to expect, or even what we’re going to do. But at least this time he doesn’t have his jeans to hide behind.

Already his erection is digging into me. It seems so big. Huge in comparison to Connor’s.

As his tongue explores deeper into my mouth, his hand slides down the back of my sweater and settles on my jean-clad butt. A moan escapes me as he squeezes it.

Following his lead, I run my hands over his naked chest. No matter where I touch, his muscles under my hands are rock hard. Everything about this man is perfection.

Steel’s hands grip the hem of my sweater, and he leans back from me. I lift my arms over my head to allow him to take it off. He reaches around behind me and undoes my bra before pulling it off and letting it drop on the floor.

His eyes slide over my breasts and torso before capturing my eyes in his.

“You’re beautiful,” he says.

Wrapping my back in his arms, my bare skin presses against his for the first time. The feeling is electric, and my skin prickles with goose bumps. I want to feel all of my body against his, and start tugging at my belt.

“I’ll do it,” Steel says.

Without any warning, he scoops me from my feet and cradles me in his arms, and I gasp. My heart beats at a million miles a minute as he takes the few steps to the bed and lays me down in the center of the bed.

“I started eating a lot of candy apples to remember how sweet and juicy your pussy was on my lips.”

I laugh, and his words ease my nerves.

Another slow song, Ed Sheeran I think, comes on MTV.

Steel undoes my belt and jeans, and slowly pulls them down my legs. The anticipation of him touching me has made my panties sopping wet.

Once my jeans are off my feet, he kisses from my baby toe up to my knees and then all over as much of my thighs as he can. I close my eyes to try to commit every little kiss and my body’s reaction to him to my memory.

He pauses what he’s doing to say, “Every time I thought of you, remembered your taste, my cock got so hard it hurt like hell.”

His words wash over me, quickening my breath and causing a throbbing between my legs.

By the time Steel reaches my upper thighs, the rest of my body is fluttering as much as the zillion butterflies between my legs. Each time he kisses my thighs, I rock my hips, wishing, hoping he’ll move his kisses along. It seems like an agonizing amount of time has passed and my pussy is begging for his attention.

Steel’s finger brushes over the fabric of my panties, and a high-pitched moan flies from my throat. He groans in reaction.

Hooking a finger into my panties, he yanks them off and makes a funny sound.

My eyes shoot open and I lift my head to see him.

“Nice tattoo,” he says, and smiles.

I’d been dying to tell him about my rose tattoo, but wanted him to discover it for himself.

“I did it for you,” I say, embarrassed.

“Now your body matches the way you smell,” he says, and kisses it.

“Huh?”

“You always smell like roses.”

I giggle. I always wear rose perfume, and can’t believe he noticed.

“Are you going to show me the rest of your tats now?” I say, propping myself on my elbows.

“I’m busy,” he says, and kisses my mound, sending heat coursing through me and making me forget all about whatever it was we were talking about.

I flop down off my elbows and sink into the bed as his lips and tongue take control of my body. He kisses all around my mound and through my folds, but avoids my clit. Every cell in my body is worked up and desperate for release.

“Please,” I try to say, but it comes out as a breathy gasp.

Steel growls, the noise only heightening my need. He flicks my clit with his tongue, and I squeal. Without waiting, he slides his fingers into me and sucks my clit into his mouth.

It forces me to moan and squeal as my body bubbles into a frenzy. I fist and knead the bedspread in my hands. He keeps going, bringing me higher and higher until I crash. Heat explodes between my legs, sending a rush of pleasure to my toes, fingers and head. The intensity forces me to squeeze my eyes shut again.

“Steel,” I moan.

After I calm, he moves up over my body, stopping along the way to kiss my breasts and neck. I’m vaguely aware of the music on MTV.

His kisses stop, and I open my eyes. He’s hovering over me, his nose almost touching mine. Our eyes connect for a moment, before he kisses the tip of my nose.

“You’re sure you want this?” He asks.

“I’ve spent every minute since October wanting this.”

“Good, but I’ll warn you now. I’m going to be gentle on you this time, for you, but only this time.”

I gasp at his words.

His mouth crushes onto mine, and we kiss. Steel brings his hips closer to me, his hard dick lying up against my mound, the towel still between us.

As he moves his hips, his dick pushes against my clit, drawing all the heat in me back between my legs. I moan through his mouth.

We’re getting close. He’s going to enter me soon, once he gets rid of that towel. Part of me starts to worry, to wonder what it will be like or if it will hurt. But I force those worries away and focus on the incredible man on top of me.

Steel pulls his head away, and asks, “Want to see the rest of my tattoos?”

“Now?”

“You don’t want to take my towel off?” He says, rolling off me and onto his back.

My eyes widen and with a coy smile say, “Definitely.”

Moving onto my hands and knees, I move over him. His massive erection creates a bump under the towel. I decide to start at the bottom edge and quickly work my way there. I push my hands underneath it and slide it up, kissing each of the tattoos I find.

There’s an eagle on the top of his left thigh, and some kind of tribal design wraps around his right thigh. They are both incredible hot, like the rest of his tattoos. I’ve even come to love the one on his neck.

Feeling bold, I slide my hand up the rest of the way under the towel and touch his cock. It’s silky, but hard, and I rub it with my palm as my fingers slowly explore up it. When they reach the top, I stop in confusion.

Something is hard, and not in a natural way. It’s a little hard ball. I move my fingers around and find another hard ball. I find four in all.

I flick my eyes up to his. He’s staring back at me, a grin on his face.

“It’s pierced,” he says.

The words send a twinge through my body. For some reason, they’re the sexiest words I’ve ever heard and my walls contract.

“So that’s the reason you’re called Steel?”

Without waiting another second, I rip the towel open. Holy shit. I found the last tattoo. My pussy twinges, and I let out a small moan.

The shaft of his dick is a colorful, winged dragon, the head of his dick is the head of the dragon. There are two piercings in the rim of his head, each with a silver ball at either end — one ball behind the rim of the head as each of the dragon’s ears, and the other end emerging from the head and forming the eyes of the dragon.

I can’t stop staring at it. For some reason it’s the most erotic thing I’ve ever seen.

Rock You Like a Hurricane

(Steel)

“A dragon,” Emily says, her eyes wider than fuck.

Before I can answer, she tightens her grip on my cock and then slowly licks my shaft.

“Didn’t it hurt getting it?” She asks, looking up at me with nothing but lust in her eyes.

I open my mouth to say, do you think I give a shit about a little pain, but her tongue connects with the barbell sphere on the head of my cock, and I groan instead.

Emily licks around the head of my dick, pushing her tongue against the second barbell sphere when she gets to it. She moves her attention to my shaft, and licks down it.

I lift my head to watch what she does to me. When she reaches my balls, she sucks on them before moving back to my shaft. She moves back up to the tip, kissing as she goes. I realize the parts she kisses are the different features of the dragon.

She takes the head of my dick into her mouth. The heat of her wet tongue makes the muscles in my back shudder. I let her take my shaft deep in her mouth and suck.

When it starts to feel too good, I grab her arms, pull her off me and lay her on the bed beside me.

“Hey,” she protests.

Ignoring her, I scramble off the bed and grab a condom and package of lube from the side pocket of my backpack. I toss them on the bed and climb back on top of Emily.

My cock lies across her mound, begging me to ram it inside her. But I have to remember she’s never done this before. She seemed kind of nervous before, which is why I moved off her and let her take off my towel. Good thing I did, because now she seems too overtaken with lust to notice any worries.

Emily’s sopping wet, but I’m fucking huge, and her pussy’s super tight. I got the lube to make extra sure I don’t hurt her.

I put my weight on my elbows and using my teeth, I tear open the lube and squeeze out the contents onto my fingers. I lift my body out of the way, and reach down between her legs. My lubed fingers slip around her already wet pussy, and I push them into her entrance, swirling them around to lube it up. I spread them wide a few times, and she moans.

Fuck, she feels incredible. The condom can wait until later.

“I need to feel you bare against me, then I’ll put the condom on,” I say.

“Okay.”

I glance down at her, her back arched and her lips slightly parted. Putting my body over hers, my lips find hers. I kiss her slowly, wanting her attention on my mouth.

I lose myself in the softness of her lips, cherishing how sweet Emily is. Though I could carry on forever, eventually I pull my lips away.

With my hand, I place my tip at her entrance and kiss her harder. I take my hand away from her pussy, putting it on the bed alongside her.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

“Will I feel the piercings?” She asks, her voice a whisper.

I grin and say, “I’m ribbed for your pleasure.”

She swallows and her eyelids flutter. That look alone is enough to make my balls tighten.

As gently as I can, I push the head of my cock into her. She’s tight, and her walls squeeze around my head. At least her hymen is already gone and the lube is helping me get in easier. I pause a second to make sure she’s okay, then continue to push into her.

Emily whimpers, and I pause. I’m not sure she’s ready for every inch yet. I stay still, letting her walls relax and ease to the size of my cock.

“Okay?” I ask.

She moans in response. That’s the sound I wanted to hear. Fuck, she makes me crazy. I push in deeper, her slick walls are starting to get used to me.

When I’m all the way in, I start to move. I go slowly, the grip of Emily’s tight pussy making my cock feel like a volcano full of red hot lava that’s ready to blow.

She moans something fierce and I know I’m not hurting her. But before I do anything else, I have to put the damn condom on. The last thing I want to do is knock her up.

I lean down and kiss her, letting her soft lips distract me from the screaming of my cock. I can’t remember being in a woman ever feeling this good before, and don’t want it to end.

I pull out, and put the condom on in record time.

“Do you trust me?” I ask, capturing her gaze.

“Uh-huh,” she answers, her voice breathy.

“Good,” I say, grabbing her hips and flipping her onto her front. “I think your pussy’s ready for this. But tell me if it hurts.”

Emily moans in approval, and I lightly smack her luscious ass. On my knees, I pull her to all fours and move against her. The tip of my cock is at her dripping wet entrance.

This time, when I push in, her walls take me a little easier. Emily makes several breathy moans as I push into her.

After a second to let her adjust to the stretching, I move my hips again. Her walls grip my shaft as I move back and forth in her. With each thrust, I go deeper than before, until I’m in all the way to the hilt.

“Do you know how many nights I dreamed of being in you like this?”

Emily’s moaning and whimpering gets faster.

“I’ll tell you, every fucking night. Whenever I closed my eyes, I’d think of all the things I’m going to do to you.”

The pitch of her noises is getting higher, sending shivers up my back.

My balls are getting tighter and tighter with each of the sounds she makes. Keeping my movement steady, I reach around and roll her clit between my fingers, making her moans turn to breathless squeals.

“Every night I’d grab my cock and think about what it would feel like to be inside you, but it’s better than I’d ever imagined. Your pussy was made for me.”

Emily lets out a gasping moan, and her arms buckle, her head landing on the mattress as she starts writhing under me.

The sight of her squirming makes me explode. A massive shudder rockets up and down my back as I spill my load into the condom. The only thought going through my head is Goldie is mine, and I’m never letting her go.

We’re both breathing heavy, and I lower my body against hers to catch my breath.

“I hope that didn’t hurt,” I say into her ear, my voice low.

“I only remember the ending, and that most definitely didn’t hurt,” Emily says, laughing.

I pull out of her and lie beside her. After I take off the condom and drop it on the floor, I pull Emily against me so that I’m spooning her. She’s trembling, so I pull on the edge of the bedspread and wrap it over us.

We lie in silence for ages. My arm rises and falls with her breath, and everything feels right.

“You’re not really going to stay here long, are you?”

“I’m never leaving you.” Not after what I went through to find her.

Now I only have to find a job. I’ll start by hitting up every place on this road. Places always need muscle, it shouldn’t be hard to find something.

I’ll do whatever it takes to be with Goldie, even get a nine-to-five job. Somehow.

She chuckles, “I meant in the motel.”

“It’s my only choice.” I shrug. “I got to find a job, then I can find an apartment or something.”

“You’re not going back to the carnival?”

“I just said, I’m not leaving you.” How I’ll make that happen is something I still have to figure out. The carnival is all I know. But if they let me work full-time for cash, there must be others.

“I have an idea,” she says, rolling to face me.

“Oh?” She’d better not say she wants to join the carnival.

“Since it’s winter, no one goes near our pool house. It has a bathroom with a shower and everything. You can stay there and save the money.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.”

“That’d be perfect.” I run my hand along her shoulder.

“You just have to be careful my parents don’t find out.” Hold on, what did she just say? I take my hand from her shoulder.

“Why won’t they know?”

“It’s down a little hill from the house, and no one goes out there in winter anyway. They’ll never know, just don’t have the lights on at night, or they’ll see from their bedroom window.”

“Thanks, Goldie, but I ain’t sneaking into your parents’ house. I’m good here,” I say and give her a chaste kiss.

“But it’s expensive staying here.”

“It’s fine.”

“But,” she hesitates, “Can you afford it?”

“I’ve had a job for the past decade, why wouldn’t I be able to afford it?”

Emily’s cheeks flush. “Sorry, I, uh, I just…”

“It’s all right, everyone always assumes a lot of shit about carnies that ain’t true. I got all my own teeth, I’m not inbred, and I don’t smell like cabbage.”

I thought Emily was different.

“I wouldn’t care even if all the things people say about carnies are true,” she says, nuzzling into me.

Silent Scream

(Emily)

I’m such an idiot. I hope Steel wasn’t offended. We lie in silence, and with each breath, I draw him deeper into my core.

There are so many things I wonder about. Where’s he from, for starters.

“Are you going to tell me your name?”

“You know my name, Steel.”

“I mean your real name.”

“Nobody’s called me my real name in ten years. I don’t even remember what it is.”

“Of course you remember your name. Is it something weird? Is it Homer? Jupiter? Bojangles?” Steel’s laughing at me, so I carry on. “Are you a boy named Sue?”

“No, I ain’t called Sue.”

“So why won’t you tell me?”

“I’ll tell you, I just don’t see why it’s relevant.”

“I don’t know. I’ve just had sex for the first time in my life, and I don’t even know the name of the guy I gave my virginity to? Yeah, not at all relevant.”

“Okay, but on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“You never call me it.”

“And here I thought you were going to say I had to suck you off or something.”

“Didn’t think I had to bribe you for that. But if you’re telling me I do…”

I chuckle, “No, you don’t have to bribe me for anything.” Steel’s dick twitches against my body.

“Anything?”

“Anything,” I say with a coy smile.

“I ain’t forgetting that.”

“Good.” If I wasn’t so tender down there, I’d demand he show me what he’s talking about right now.

“It’s Kayden. And the condition is, you call me Steel.”

“Kayden. I like that name. It suits you.”

“Does it suit me more than Steel?”

I laugh, “Not with that piercing of yours.”

“I was worried the piercing would freak your innocent ass out.”

God no. A pierced dick? A tattooed dick? A tattooed and pierced dick? It’s so naughty that just thinking about it sends a rush of heat between my legs.

“It’s fair to say I’m okay with it.”

“Just okay?”

“Maybe a little more than okay,” I say, my cheeks hot with how I really feel about it.

Steel pushes his hand into my hair and grips my head. “Do you know how good your mouth felt wrapped around it?”

“Just good?”

“Fuck, Goldie, I wanted to blow my load in your mouth so bad it hurt.”

“Now I feel ripped off.”

“And here I thought you were a good girl.”

“I am a good girl. A good girl who’s lying naked in a cheap motel with a carny who has a tattooed, pierced dick. Wanting to suck on that dick until it loses control isn’t that much of a leap, is it?”

“Watch yourself, talk like that is going to have to be followed through.”

Steel’s dick hardens against me, and I reach down to stroke it. My God, it’s huge. My fingertips can’t even reach my thumb around his cock.

He growls, and pushes on my shoulders. I slide my body down until I’m eye to eye with his dragon. My mouth fills with saliva, desperate to taste it again. To taste all of it this time.

I lick between the two ends of the barbell piercing. Steel’s hips push his dick forward, trying to bring it against my lips. I lick and kiss it again around the piecing.

Not taking my eyes off it, I say, “So can I ever call you Kayden?”

“When your toes are curled, you can scream anything you damn well want.”

“What about when your toes are curled?”

“Your mouth will be too full to say anything. Now suck it.”

Steel laces his fingers through my hair and pushes my mouth against his dick. I open, and take it in, pressing my tongue against the hardness. I suck and lick as much as I can, but he pushes my head further against him.

Relaxing my throat to take him in, my body fuels with heat at what I’m doing to him. I relax the rest of my body to let him throat fuck me, all the time I can’t stop more and more heat from coursing through me.

I cup his balls, and they draw tighter and tighter against him. Steel relaxes his grip on my head, and I pull my head away enough to get the tip of his dick back on my tongue and my hand around the base.

Pushing my tongue all around his pierced head, I suck.

Steel groans, a long primal groan that he has no control over. His dicks surges under my hand. His come sprays over my tongue and down my throat. The muscles in my back quiver at his taste. I leave my mouth on him until he pulls me away and back up into his arms.

“If you get yourself on the pill, I can fill your pussy like that too.”

Without waiting for me to reply, his lips connect with mine. We slowly explore each other’s mouths, his tongue finding parts of me I didn’t know existed.

He breaks our kiss, and in a low voice he asks, “Are you sore?”

I’m conflicted. It’s definitely sore down there, but also full of heat from having his dick in my mouth.

“A little,” I finally admit.

“Fine, I ain’t touching it right now. I’m never doing nothing that’d hurt you.”

“It wouldn’t be so bad if you touched me.”

“Listen, I told you before, I was only going gentle on you your first time. Trust me, you don’t want to start out sore, just end up that way.”

If the way he gripped my head and fucked my throat is anything to go by, he’s not exaggerating. Just thinking about it covers my skin in goose bumps.

He squeezes me tight, and my head rests against him and I close my eyes. After all these months, he found me. I still can’t believe it. And that I’ve actually had full sex, and with someone who seems too good to be true.

After a while, Steel asks, “What’s the deal with your parents anyway?”

“How do you mean?”

“Everything you’ve ever said about them makes it sound like they treat you like a child. You’re twenty years old, why do you let them?”

Good question. Why do I? They treat my younger brother like an adult, why not me? Except I know the answer to that.

“My dad’s really old fashioned, and thinks that because I’m a girl, he needs to protect me from the world.”

“And your mother?”

“Pretty much the same, except at least it seems like she cares about me. All my dad cares about is his precious reputation. I think he has dreams of running the entire worldwide Lions Club.”

“That don’t make it right,” Steel says, shaking his head.

“Tell me about it. It’s also complicated because he’s my boss.”

“You work for him too?”

“He had my life all planned out the day I was born. Or at least the day he realized I’d never get into Harvard. I’m destined to be the office manager at his head office.”

“Sounds like your daddy’s rich.”

I shrug. “He does okay. He has the most car dealerships in North Carolina, and manages them from a head office. That’s where he wants me to work, so that’s where I work. It’s a pretty good deal. It makes life easy for me anyway.”

“As long as that’s what you want to do. You shouldn’t ever do things just because that’s what he wants you to do.”

“What I’d really like to do is have my own dealership, because I’d make a lot more money than pushing papers. My older brother does, and that’s his plan for my younger brother, but not me.”

“Let me guess, because you’re a girl,” Steel rolls his eyes.

“You got it.”

“So go get a job selling cars at a different place.”

“Oh my God no, he’d write me off as his daughter if I did that.”

“You’ve got to be your own woman, Goldie. Otherwise he’ll treat you like a little girl your whole life.”

She’s the Woman

(Steel)

“Can I confess something?” Emily says.

“What?”

“I only went back that night because of my dad.”

“You mean the night at the carnival?” I ask, my brow furrowed.

“He kept going on at me not hurting his reputation, so I went to you to get back at him.”

I shake my head. That’s just her excuse. She would’ve come to me anyway. I could tell by the way her thigh relaxed under my hand the first time I touched her. Her body needed me.

“You’ve to stop doing things because of other people and start doing things for you.”

“It turned out well, didn’t it?”

“If that’s what it took to get you in my arms. I’m not used to girls not falling into them all by themselves, but I guess you’re a true good girl.”

“According to my daddy I am because he raised me right.”

“And what’s he going to do when he meets me?”

“I haven’t thought about it.”

“You’re not planning to keep me a secret, are you? Because I’d hate for you to be embarrassed of me.”

Papa Smurf’s words are rambling through my head now. The outside world doesn’t approve of us, just because we’re carnies. The prejudices against us run deep.

“No, I’m not. But I have to figure out how to ease them into the idea of a boyfriend. I haven’t even had a serious boyfriend since Connor and I broke up just after graduating high school.”

“So you don’t care that I’m a carny?”

“I thought you left the carnival.”

“Only because of you, but it will never leave my blood.”

“That makes sense since it’s all you’ve ever known.”

“I told you before, it’s who I am.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure my parents are going to love you. How could they not?”

“And what about that brunette friend of yours? Is she going to put her snarl away when she sees me again?”

Somehow all these issues didn’t enter into my mind when I was focused on finding Emily. Now here they are, smacking me in the face. But I’m not leaving her, no matter what her family and friends think.

“I don’t care about any of her snarls. I don’t care about what anyone in the town thinks, and my parents are going to have to learn to live with it. All I want is you, and that includes the carny part.”

I knew Emily wasn’t like other people.

Stroking her hair, I grip around the base of her neck and kiss her before pulling away to examine her face. Our eyes lock in a steady gaze, and I start feeling more naked than I already am.

In order to break eye contact, I roll onto my back. Emily might have jumped all over my monster cock, but I don’t know if she’s ready to know more about me. Hell, I don’t know if she’ll ever be ready.

The trouble is, she’s so far from the other side of the tracks as me, I don’t even understand what her life is like. There’s no way she’d be able to understand mine.

Emily cares so damn much about what her family thinks of her, and she lets them influence every bit of her life, am I really going to win out over them? There’s no doubt in my mind they’ll do everything they can to pull her away from me, I just hope the magnetism between us is stronger than them.

I’m prepared to give up everything I am for her. Will she do the same?

“What’s going to happen when your parents don’t approve of me? Because they won’t, you realize. No father with a reputation to uphold would ever stand by while a carny fucks his daughter senseless.”

“Hmm, maybe it’s better if you find a job here first, before I introduce you? Then you won’t be a carny.”

“Goldie, I am a carny. Once you’ve been one, people look at you like you’re contaminated for the rest of your life.”

“So we won’t tell them.”

“And the tattoos? How will they go over?”

Emily’s eyes run over my naked body, lingering on each of my tattoos before getting stuck on the one on my neck.

“The neck one might be an issue for them. They’ll think it means you’re an ex-con or a gangster or something.”

“Well, I ain’t no gangster.”

“You’re not an ex-con are you?”

“Not exactly.”

“So they’ll just have to learn to accept it.”

“It’s going to be that easy, is it?” No fucking chance.

“Like it or not, they’re going to have to accept it.”

“As long as you can handle their reaction.”

“All these months I’ve been dreaming about you, but I didn’t even know what was under your T-shirt, let alone your pants.” Emily says, changing the topic. She pushes herself against me. “Now I finally know.”

“I didn’t think it was possible to fantasize about someone wearing clothes.”

“Oh it is, believe me.”

“I’m going to guess the Steel in your dreams was nothing like the reality.”

“You could say that.”

“And how did the real thing compare to your dreams?” I ask, flashing my biggest smile.

“Are you kidding me?”

“So tell me, what did you dream about?”

“Every night I’d etch the lines of your face in my head, so I’d never forget a single thing about the way you look. I’d remember the feel of your strength as you pulled me close and kissed me. Mostly I thought about your lips, you know, down there.” She shifts her eyes down her body before continuing, her breathing rapid. “I’d close my eyes and touch myself, pretending my fingers were your big, thick ones when they broke into me.”

“We’re going to have to stop talking about this, because I know you’re sore, but if you keep it up, that ain’t gonna matter to me.”

Emily closes her eyes and pauses a moment before saying with a smile, “I’ll tell you another time.”

“Smart move.”

The next several hours flew faster than loose change out of the Zipper. Emily left to go home around nine.

I’m lying awake on the first double-size bed I’ve slept in in my life, thinking back over the day with Emily and about how keeping up my search for her was the best decision I ever made.

* * *

I’ve been at the Motel 6 for a month. It’s costing me forty bucks a night, which is almost what I make in a day at the carnival. Good thing I’ve been socking money away all these years, but this isn’t how I’d pictured spending it.

It’s been easy to pick up lots of odd cash jobs for people needing an extra set of strong arms, but I’m still figuring out what to do about something permanent. How am I going to manage finding a decent permanent job for cash under the table?

Emily and I already have plans to get our own apartment when I find one. But she’s still keeping me a secret. She’s still worried at how her parents are going to react to me. Figures it’s better if she can first introduce me after I have a job so at least they won’t be able to complain about her dating an unemployed guy.

Except I’m only unemployed because of her. I’ve held the same job for ten whole years, doesn’t that count for something with these people?

The carnival season is starting up, and I need some indication from her before I go and quit the only life I’ve ever known for good.

So now we’re in a catch-22, one she probably isn’t even aware of.

There’s no fucking doubt in my mind that we’re meant to be together, but how am I ever going to overcome the problem with her family when she won’t even introduce me in the first place?

Somehow all my anger and frustration flies out the window whenever Emily comes to see me every day, and I’ve never brought it up to her.

You’d think we’d have run out of things to talk about by now, but every day I talk to her for hours. Until our talking turns into her leaving scratch marks down my back.

Symptom of the Universe

(Emily)

It’s Saturday evening, and Steel and I are at the big mall in the town just past where Steel’s staying. It’s our one-month anniversary of finding each other, and he’s taking me to a movie and then back to his motel.

For fun, I’m wearing the dress I wore to the carnival on the night we first met. And nothing else, no bra, no panties.

I hate having to lie to my parents about where I’m really staying all these evenings. It’s just I can’t face my father freaking out. Even if he didn’t know who I was staying with, he’d accuse me of damaging his reputation because everyone in the town would know I was out sleeping around.

Living in this town is all I’ve ever known, but some days all I can think of is getting the hell out of it. And that thought has been consuming me more and more every day.

All I want to do is live my life like the adult I am, and be with the person I want to be with. I’m tired of people still whispering behind my back about the carnival that happened months ago. How deafening would their whispers be if they knew I was with Steel right now? I can’t figure out how to go public with this. Or even why I should have to deal with this shit as an issue in the first place.

“Burrito with cheesy chips,” I say to the teenager behind the counter.

“The same,” Steel says.

Steel takes our tray and chooses a table at the far edge of the food court. I take a seat beside him instead of across from him so I can tease him with my thigh. Though I have to be careful. Knowing him he’d bend me over the table and fuck me right here in the middle of the mall.

We sit as close to each other as we can get in the fixed chairs, enough that our arms are touching as we eat.

I take a sip of my Coke, clear my throat and say, “I’ve been thinking. I’m getting really tired of living in a small town.”

“And why’s that?”

“For starters, it’s boring. Every day is the same, doing what’s expected of me.”

“Boring doesn’t sound the issue in that sentence.”

I sigh. “No, it’s not. It’s something else. I’m tired of everyone having their noses in my business. Of the way people have talked behind my back ever since the fair. And somehow my family thinks that whatever those people think is the most important thing in the world, when all I really want to do is walk down the street with your arm around me.”

“The only thing stopping me from doing that is you.”

“Whatever, the thing stopping me from you doing it is my family.”

“No, it’s you caring what they think.”

“Maybe if the town isn’t ever going to accept us, it’s time for me to leave.”

Steel smirks. “You know I’d go wherever tonight, but are you really serious about leaving? It’s not only your family, it’s your job.”

“I know. And I’m been thinking a lot about this. We can move far enough away that I can still commute to work.”

“And you’d still keep me a secret,” he states, his voice flat.

“Not from my family, only the town.”

“Because I’ll never be good enough for your family.”

“You know what? If you’re not, then I don’t care about them anymore. They’ll be dead to me.”

My heart is racing, I thought he’d like this plan. I didn’t know it would offend him.

“Dead to you as parents, but still your boss.”

“So maybe I will find another job. We can go wherever, do whatever we want. Be nomads, just like you want to be.”

“That might be who I am but that’s not who you are,” he says, bringing his face near mine.

“I’d follow you just about anywhere.”

Steel’s blue eyes shine into mine, seeming to decide if I’m being serious or not. I wish I could figure this out. How do I take him home to meet my parents? They’ll freak, even if they didn’t know he was a carny. It’s been a month and I still don’t have any better ideas than I did on the first night.

“I hope you’re serious, Goldie, because I can’t take much more of this. I need my woman at my side all the time, not just when she can sneak out of her parents’ house.”

“Are you going to go all caveman on me, and drag me back to your cave?”

“Fucking right, I will.”

We each take another bite of our burritos and chew in silence. He’s right. It’s not being fair on him, and I need to solve this problem as fast as I can.

To try to smooth things over, I swallow my food and throw my arms around him. I squeeze as tight as I can, letting his clean scent soothe me.

“Emily?” my mother’s voice comes through the noise of the food court.

Shit. Not now. Not here.

Releasing my hold on Steel, I sit up straight. My chest flutters with nerves, and before I know it, Steel takes my hand. If I get through this, it will only be because of his touch.

In an instant, my mother is at the side of our table.

“Who’s this?” She asks, trying not to look at Steel.

“Mom, this is Kayden, Kayden, my mom, Carol.”

Steel stands and offers his hand for her to shake. When my mother finally does look at him, her eyes beeline straight to his neck tattoo. She is frozen but eventually lifts her arm and touches only the tips of his fingers between hers. I stand as well.

A moment later, my father appears behind her, loaded down with shopping bags. At first he looks confused, his brow furrowed as his eyes flit over me and Steel before his face turns to stone.

“And this is my dad, Greg,” I say, resigning myself to what is happening.

“Sir,” Steel says, offering his hand again.

My father ignores him, instead turning to me and saying, “Who is this?”

“Kayden,” I hesitate before adding, “my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend? Why haven’t we heard about any boyfriend?” He looks at Steel and stares, his eyes boring into him.

“Why don’t you join us,” I say, gesturing to the table.

“I can get you some drinks,” Steel says.

“That’s not necessary,” my dad says.

I turn to sit back at the table, and take Steel’s hand. Once we’re seated beside one another, I turn my head to look at my parents. They look back at me for a moment, before sitting down across from us at the table.

None of us speaks. My mother’s lips are pursed and my father looks as though his head might explode.

They ignore Steel and speak to me as though he wasn’t sitting at the table with us.

“What’s going on, Emily?” my father says.

“Steel and I are getting something to eat before we see a movie.”

“Steel?” my father says. Oops.

“It’s his nickname.”

My father rolls his eyes.

“Is this some kind of prank?” my mother says.

“No, Mom, this is not a prank. This is the man I’m in a serious relationship with.”

“Since when?” She says.

I shrug. “A few months now. Since October.”

“Dear Jesus, he’s that fucking carny, isn’t he?” my father says, slapping the table with his hand.

My body flinches — I’ve never heard him say the F word in my life, let alone directing it at me.

We’re Not Going to Take It

(Steel)

Emily flinches at her father’s words, and I put my arm around her to comfort her. This wasn’t how I’d pictured being introduced to her parents, but at least they finally know about me.

“We met at the carnival, yes. Now Steel lives here.”

“Oh, and what does he do now?” Her dad says.

“He’s looking for a job.”

“I’ve been picking up lots of day work until I figure out something permanent,” I say.

Her dad’s eyes shift to me and then back to Emily.

“How old is he?”

“Twenty-seven,” I say.

Her father ignores me, and says, “I’m not going to sit here and watch my twenty-year-old daughter throw her life away with some degenerate.”

“I’m an adult, Dad.”

“I don’t care how old you are, no self-respecting woman goes around with his kind.”

“It’s not safe,” her mom whispers. Does she think I can’t hear her?

“Emily, why are you disrespecting yourself like this?” Her dad says.

“You know he’s sitting right here, right? You could talk to him, you know.”

Her dad looks at me with disgust. Papa Smurf wasn’t kidding about the rest of the world hating on us.

“You don’t have to do this, you know. Whatever point you’re trying to make has been made,” her dad says.

“The only point I’m trying to make is that I want you all to get along,” Emily says.

“We can’t have him in our house for dinner, he’ll steal something. That’s probably how he got his nickname. Does he have a criminal record?”

“Give me a break, he’s not a thief. Maybe if you actually talked to him, you’d find out what a great guy he is.”

“Get real, Emily, he’s a slimy carnie,” he says.

Unfuckingbelievable.

“Listen to yourself. I can’t believe how rude you’re being,” Emily says, leaning across the table.

I stroke down her arm and pull her elbow until she’s sitting straight again. I let go of her and roughly scratch my temple before resting my hand on her arm. It’s best if she stays calm.

“You listen to me,” her father says. “I’m not going to sit by and watch my daughter do something stupid like turn into a carny’s whore.”

Enough.

“Sir, I can sit here and listen to you insult me all day long. Ain’t nothing I never heard before. But don’t think I’m going to sit here for one second and listen to you insult Emily,” I say, my voice steady and forceful.

Her mother visibly recoils. I’m tempted to say ‘boo’ to her, but she’d fall off her chair.

“What? That’s supposed to mean something to me?” Her dad says, his nostrils flaring.

“It means you’re sitting here lecturing your daughter about having some respect for herself, so where’s yours?”

“My what?”

“Respect for her. Because all I’m hearing is disrespect. And I’d got to tell you, she’s worth more respect than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Emily starts weeping, and I pull her into my arms. I don’t give a fucking damn about her parents. I don’t think I’ll ever give a damn about them. They don’t even want to have a polite conversation with me? Fuck them.

All that matters now is her. This is crushing her, I can tell. It’s everything she’s been stressing about come true.

“Are you okay, Goldie?” I say into her ear, my voice low.

She sobs harder against my chest. I blot out everything else, her parents, the food court, the mall, everything except her.

“Do you want to stay, or do you want me to get you out of here? It’s up to you.”

Emily’s mother starts to speak without even attempting to lower her voice, “Oh, dear God, she said she was going to stay at Courtney’s tonight, Greg.”

A shudder runs through Emily’s body. She’s obviously heard what her mother said. Fire courses through my veins. How dare they do this to her.

“Come on, we’re leaving,” I say, standing and pulling Emily up with me. I glare at her parents and say, “She’ll speak to you when you can be civil. You should be ashamed of yourselves, treating your daughter this way.”

Her dad starts to say something, but I don’t hear it. I need to get her out of here.

I have no idea if they’ll follow us to hassle her some more, or if her dad will try to stop us from going, so I hustle my ass, half carrying Emily all the way to her car.

“I’ll drive,” I say, grabbing her purse and fishing through it for her key.

Once the car is unlocked, I open the passenger door and bustle her into the car, all while watching behind me for signs of her father. I hop into the driver’s seat, slide it back to make room for my legs, and pull away. Her phone beeps, probably a text message.

After a mile or so, I ask, “How are you doing?”

A massive sob shudders out of her chest. I reach over and rest my hand on her thigh, wondering how fast I can drive to get back to the motel. Ten over, twenty? I don’t want those two following us or finding out where we’re staying.

Emily’s sobbing lessens after a few more miles. I don’t think there’s any point in talking until I can do it with her in my arms. She needs the time to digest what just happened. I’ve got to calm myself down anyway. Her phone rings, and she pulls it out of her purse and turns it off.

The last thing I need to do is say something about her parents that pushes her back to them. Even though I’d like to bust her dad’s nose open right about now.

We pull into the Motel 6 parking lot and I park near my door. I help Emily out of the car, and grip her hand while I unlock the door to the room.

The second we’re in the room and the door is shut behind us, I pull her against me and hold her tight.

“I need some water,” she says, looking up at me.

“Sit down, I’ll get you some.”

I guide her to the side of the bed and she sits. There’s a wrapped glass on a shelf, and I unwrap it and fill it with water from the bathroom tap. Turning to leave the bathroom, I come face to face with Emily. Her eyes are puffy and rimmed in red.

“How could they treat you like that? They didn’t even give you a chance. No hi, how are you, nice to meet you. Nothing. They just sat there and insulted you.”

“Welcome to my world,” I say, passing her the glass.

“But why didn’t they listen to me at all? I told them what a great guy you are, and they didn’t give you a chance.”

“Honestly? I can’t say I’m too surprised. I told you, no one approves of their daughter hooking up with a carny, especially not some rich guy like your father.”

“I don’t care. They were just plain rude, like you said. I can’t believe the way they treated you, or me,” she says.

“Hopefully it was just the shock of them finding out, and they’ll think about things tonight and be rational in the morning.”

Emily put the glass to her lips but doesn’t open her mouth. Instead, she lets the water wash against her lips, her eyes narrowed. The longer she stands there, the more her eyes narrow.

She opens her lips and takes several gulps of water. I take the glass out of her hand and set it back on the shelf, before pulling her back into my arms.

“It pisses me off so much, it makes me want to run away and join the carnival,” she says, her voice steady and strong.

It’s a bad idea. She’s not cut out for the carnival. But I can’t deny her words make my heart leap a little.

Running with the Devil

(Emily)

“You’ll figure things out with them,” Steel says.

“You’ve been right all along.”

“About?”

“I need to be my own woman and live my own life. Instead of doing what they want and expect me to do.”