Chapter Eighteen

Jesse paused down the hall from Dare’s room to get himself under control. He’d been moving like a madman since he’d left because he didn’t want her alone for too long, but the last thing she needed was for him to barrel in as if pursued by a horde of demons.

He put his back to the wall so he could close his eyes for a moment and calm his breathing. As he waited, he went through his mental list in the hopes he’d remembered everything.

“You holding up that wall for a particular reason?”

Jesse turned on the spot to find himself being accosted by Tamara. Accosted was the right word, because there was fire in her eyes and her tone was pure trouble.

He didn’t have the time or energy for bullshit right now.

“What’d you want, Tamara?” he demanded. He should have gone straight in to see Dare. “It’s been a hell of a day already, and I’m not looking for any Coleman lecturing.”

“Poor baby. Sometimes we just don’t get what we want.” She stepped forward to poke her finger against his chest. “I hope you’re ready to get your head out of your ass.”

“If you didn’t read between the lines a moment ago, I was telling you to shut up and mind your own business,” he warned.

“Who the hell do you think you’re talking to?” Tamara didn’t look at all impressed. “You want to scare me into shutting up, you’d need to be a whole lot more frightening. Besides, this is too important to scare me off.”

Jesse sighed. He loved his family, really he did. His immediate family and the extended cousins, he loved them all, but sometimes they were more punishment than any man deserved.

He rubbed his temples. “Get it over with. I’ll give you exactly thirty seconds, then I’m getting on with my day.”

She lowered her voice, glancing down the hall before glaring sternly. “You don’t seem to get it. I mean, you obviously care about Dare a little, but I wanted to make sure you know how serious this is.”

His stomach dropped a mile, and he pulled up from his slouch, ready to run to Dare’s side. “Did something happen while I was gone—?”

Tamara had the grace to look sheepish as she held up a hand to stop him from racing off. “No, I didn’t mean that. Dare’s fine, but you were bitching at her pretty hard when I picked her up in Emerg.”

For fuck’s sake. Jesse pinched the bridge of his nose. Overprotective, snoopy cousins—although, Tamara meant well. He had to give her that much.

He met her gaze directly. “She was overdoing it, and I was trying to protect her. She’s as stubborn as they come. Didn’t even want to get checked out even after passing out.”

Some of the implied violence in his cousin’s eyes lessened. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh. I’m worried about her, okay? I might have snapped harder than I should have, but we’re okay.”

Tamara wrinkled her nose, her glasses shifting position. “I’m sorry. I thought you were flouncing around like you were making sacrifices. When you took off because you needed a hamburger, or whatever that was more important than being there for her—”

“You need to either curb your imagination or try minding your own business,” Jesse drawled. Now he understood the lecture, but he didn’t need to explain himself to Tamara. “Can I go see my fiancée, now? So I can tell her why I flounced off?”

“Brat. Don’t rub it in,” Tamara murmured. “I wa—”

“Are you holding a medical consultation in the middle of the hallway?” A good-looking doctor stared sternly down his nose at Tamara. “I’m sure you wouldn’t be doing anything improper, now, would you, Miss Coleman?”

“Improper? Me?” Tamara laid a hand on her chest, her mouth gaping as if in shock. “Never.”

“Don’t give me attitude,” he warned.

“Or what? You’ll send me a scary email?” Tamara snapped back instantly.

The man’s face went red, and he straightened up until he loomed over her. He took a step closer—

And found himself face to face with Jesse.

Jesse had no idea what was going on, but no one was going to mess with his cousin while he was around. That was his fucking job, thank you very much.

“You work here?” Jesse asked.

“I do.” The man flicked his nametag importantly. “I was—”

“Good,” Jesse interrupted. “The men’s shitter on the first floor is jammed. You should go unstick it.”

The doctor’s face went white. Behind Jesse, a low choking sound escaped Tamara as she attempted to hide her amusement and failed miserably.

The asshole, Dr. Tom, according to his nametag, drew himself to full height again. “I am not a janitor.”

“Oh. Whatever.” Jesse waved a hand and before biting his nail and ignoring the ass completely. He turned to his cousin. “So, Tam, what do you think? Extra bacon on the pizzas, or should we let the rest of the crew decide?”

Dr. Tom stood motionless for a second longer before growling in frustration and pointing a finger at Tamara. “You watch yourself. I’m keeping an eye on you.”

“Yes, sir.” She waited until he’d stepped out of earshot to mutter. “Only thing you can do is watch, asshole, because you’re a nearly-dickless wonder.”

Jesse snorted, his earlier anger and frustration washed away by her good intentions and his rising curiosity. “Gee, you know how to make friends and influence people everywhere, don’t you?”

“He’s a bastard,” Tamara said, leaning on the wall beside Jesse as she checked her watch. “I went out with him a few times, and he seemed nice enough at the start. Decent dancer, and he gave great back rubs.”

“Do I want to hear this?”

She shoved her glasses into place and pulled a face. “I should never have forgotten my rule to not fool around where I work.”

“Bad breakup?”

She nodded. “He’s been on my case ever since. He hassles me without cause, and I can’t really tell him to fuck off.”

He hesitated for all of a nano-second. “Dickless wonder?”

“Nearly-dickless.” She held up her hand with thumb and pointer finger spaced out two inches. “He drunk emailed me a shot of it.”

Jesse lost it. It was partly her expression, partly the tension that held him in its grip, but once he started laughing it welled up from deep down and poured out of him. “Oh my God, was that the scary email?”

Tamara eyed him wryly. “Yeah, it was funny at the time, at least to me. He didn’t appreciate the fact I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to apologize for laughing.”

“You know what they say, it’s not the length but how you use it,” Jesse offered between gasps.

“Said by the guys who have neither the length nor the moves, sadly.” Tamara laid a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for being a jerk and getting on your case, but I care about you and I want you to be happy. Dare seems like a great person. You’ve got a shot at something special here—I’d hate for it to get screwed up.”

The one thing he truly understood was his family only got in his face because they cared. “I need to get back. Anything I need to watch out for or avoid?”

She gave him the look. “Don’t go fooling around. I don’t want to go blind if I walk into the room and interrupt you.”

Jesse patted her on the shoulder and escaped, pushing through the door into Dare’s room.

He’d expected to find her waiting impatiently, but she was sitting cross-legged on the mattress, eyes closed. Her palms were turned upward, wrists resting on her knees. Deep, even breaths lifted her chest before she let the air out slowly.

Like he’d attempted to do a few minutes ago, and he smiled as he crossed the floor. It took a moment to get his boots off, but once he was down to his socks, he hopped up on the foot of the bed and twisted to face her.

Her eyes were closed, but she was smiling.

Jesse shifted awkwardly before giving up his attempt to cross his legs. Jeans weren’t meant for yoga moves. Instead he let his legs open, feet draped off the edges of the bed, then he worked to match his breathing with hers.

Dare’s smile widened.

He took advantage of the moment to examine her face. The shiner on her right eye was darkening rapidly, but the worry crease between her brows was gone, and she looked peaceful.

She looked beautiful.

Even more so when she opened her eyes to meet his, grey-green darkening to near hazel as she spoke. “Hey.”

Jesse’s heart did this weird kick-flip thing, and he had to work hard to keep from jolting upright. Suddenly the distance between them was way too much.

“Come here,” he growled softly, opening his arms.

She shifted forward on her knees before turning and settling with her back against his chest, tugging his hands where she wanted them. One arm ended up around her body above her breasts, the other she deliberately adjusted until his palm rested on her belly.

Over the past month the gentle curve had been growing steadily, and as he rested his chin on her shoulder, she slid her fingers over his and held him there. Intimate—more intimate in some ways than the night before, slipping his body into hers.

“You doing okay?” he asked quietly, not willing to break what seemed to be a spell that had taken over the room.

“Shhh. Buckaroo is holding a hoe-down.”

Jesse matched her breathing as he waited. She’d tried to get him to feel the baby move before, but so far, there’d been—

Her belly shifted under his thumb.

He held his breath.

Another fleeting touch, this time under his palm. “Is that you?”

“Nope.” Dare let out a little happy sigh. “And it’s not gas, if that was going to be your next question.”

“Good to know, considering where you’re sitting, and all.”

She giggled. “Stop it. Don’t make me laugh, or he’ll stop moving.”

“Our kid? Hell, now that he’s started, I bet he doesn’t give you more than a minute or two off. Get used to nonstop Buckaroo Love Taps.”

She leaned back into him. “I needed this,” she whispered.

Jesse waited. The heat between their bodies wasn’t sexual, but a connection nonetheless. She stroked his knuckles softly as he kept his hand in place, thrilled at the continued sensation of bubbles percolating under her skin. “It’s pretty damn cool.”

Dare twisted her face toward him, and he couldn’t resist. He brushed their lips together softly. A single kiss. Another.

The weight of her body against him increased, and he supported her as he took the kiss deeper. Tasting her lips, tongue teasing gently. Dare’s even breathing picked up a notch, and his body came alive with something more than peaceful relaxation.

A cough echoed in the quiet of the room, and Dare broke away from him. Her gaze lingered on his face for a second before they turned toward the sound.

 

 

Dare was still buzzing with some weird combination of sexual desire and utter relief, but Vicki waited awkwardly near the door, examining the ceiling with great interest, and it wasn’t right to leave her standing there.

Behind her, Jesse had stiffened. Silly man. Probably embarrassed to be caught cuddled up and smooching. Dare squeezed his fingers then escaped from his hold, sliding back to the head of the bed so he could hit the floor.

“It’s safe,” Dare informed Vicki.

The other woman smiled as she stepped toward the bed, a familiar bag in her hands. “You look good.”

“I feel fine,” Dare said, pointing at the bag. “You brought my stuff.”

“Jesse called and asked me to bring it.” Her gaze flicked to Jesse’s for a split second then back to Dare’s. “You hadn’t unpacked much. I hope you don’t mind I had to fold the things on the chair. I put your bathroom stuff in a plastic bag at the top so I didn’t have to dig through anything.”

“That’s fine. Thank you for bringing it over.” She was sure she had shorts in there.

The next thing she knew Jesse was standing in front of her, face folded into a frown. “Where do you think you’re going?”

Drat. She’d automatically swung her legs around, intending to get changed. “Oops?”

“Dare.”

“I’m sorry. It’s hard to remember to sit still when I don’t feel sick, okay?” She tucked herself back under the covers and waited as patiently as possible, hands folded in her lap. “May I have my bag, pretty please?”

Vicki laughed, bringing it to the bed. “I’m glad you feel okay. Laurel said to apologize again for your face.”

“She’s not going to stop that, is she?”

Jesse raised a brow. “Apologizing? Probably not.” Then he laughed. “Although it is pretty hysterical when you come down to it. Remember the shiner I had the night we met?”

“Yeah?”

He grinned. “Rafe gave me mine.”

Ha. “Seriously? That was Rafe?”

“Yup.” His smile tightened a little when his gaze slipped over Vicki, then he ignored her as he pulled a chair beside Dare’s bed and sat down. “Here’s the scoop. I know phone coverage is the shits in here, so I went out to the parking lot and made a few calls.”

Dare dug through the bag as he spoke. “Obviously—Vicki.” She glanced up at the other woman. “Which, thank you again.”

“Oh, wait.” Vicki stepped forward and unloaded a second bag that had been slung over her back. “I brought your computer too.”

Hell, yeah. “I could kiss you. Perfect.”

Vicki eyed the bed before bringing the bag to the table against the wall. “How about over here for now? You’ll have more visitors soon, and you won’t want this tossed around or dropped.”

“Good idea.”

Vicki glanced between them, hesitated then backed toward the door. “I’m going to head out for a bit. I’ll be back later, okay?”

“Yes, please.” Dare didn’t want to keep the other woman from whatever else she had planned, but the desire to spend more time with Vicki was real. “I’d like to visit some more.”

Which was good and bad. You’re not supposed to fall in love with people, remember? she scolded herself.

Maybe that was a flawed premise, the other side of her brain offered. Buckaroo deserves awesome people in his life, and if you like them, they have to be awesome.

Dare dragged herself back to alertness to discover Jesse staring after Vicki as she left.

She waved a hand to get his attention. “Sorry for the interruption. Phone calls?”

Jesse shook himself. “Right. Your stuff. Then I called Ginny—”

“Oh God, did she panic?”

“Sort of? That’s what took so long. I was talking her off the edge. The minute I hung up with her, I’d made it nearly to the door when Caleb called wondering what Ginny was going off the handle about.”

Dare considered collapsing back on her pillow like some melodramatic princess. “They’ll be here in an hour, right?”

“Wrong.” Jesse adjusted position, stretching his legs in front of him, all long and lean and far too sexy for her mental peace. “I convinced them to wait until tomorrow.”

“Wow. You’re good.” Dare curled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them. “You should be a hostage negotiator or something, because getting Ginny to change her mind is like magic.”

“That’s me. Magical Jesse.” He lifted his arms and folded them behind his head as he offered a grin. “No, that doesn’t sound right. Jesse and his magic tongue?”

He winked and she let out a contented sigh, kind of shocked that she was able to feel this relaxed. “I hate that I’m sitting here when we had such plans to visit all your family and hit Traders, and the rest, but I’m happy they figured out why I was dizzy.”

“Me too.” He rose like a cat and stalked over up to the bed, leaning in with a flirty smile. “I’d suggest we pick up where we were before we were interrupted, but Vicki is right. There’ll be more visitors soon, and you’d probably like to have some clothes on before they arrive, instead of less clothes, the way I’d like.”

A shiver of desire rolled through her. “Didn’t the doctor say something about not getting me excited?”

“I’m not getting you excited,” Jesse said innocently.

Dare took the shorts she wanted out of the bag before offering him a deadpan expression. “Yeah, right. You get me excited just being in the same room.”

His face—like she’d given him a gold star. “You weren’t pissed when I left? Or that I called your family without talking to you first?”

It had to be a trick question. “Was I supposed to be?”

He shook his head.

Dare wiggled the shorts on, lying back to pull them over her hips. Jesse was there in an instant, helping smooth the fabric into place. “You told me you’d take care of me,” Dare reminded him. “I figured that was what you were doing. And you were.”

He stared at her with that unreadable expression for a beat, then leaned in to kiss her fiercely. One hand cupped the back of her neck, and the other found hers on the sheets, fingers tangling together.

Sweet, passionate. Needy and yet giving. She took it and soaked it in.

Then laughed against his lips as another cough echoed in the room.

 

 

After greeting his brother Matt and his wife Hope, and saying hello to his nephew Colt who was no longer a baby but a bright-eyed toddler, Jesse took off again.

Dare’s words of praise were like a thermal sweater. Inside and out, he damn near glowed. She trusted him, and that feeling was pretty fucking glorious.

Only now he had work to do.

Tamara might have been off track when she lectured him about being thoughtless, but she’d hit the mark when it came to one thing. He’d been whining and moping inside—face fucking facts, Coleman—about how hard it had been to visit Rocky when there wasn’t a place for him.

So fucking what?

This wasn’t about him, not anymore. It never should have been. It was about what was best for the baby, and for Dare.

Considering when he’d proposed back a month ago it had been with the idea he was manning up, he hadn’t done a very good job of it.

It was time he manned up for real.

The drive to Six Pack ranch was familiar enough he could do it in his sleep, but he eyed the passing scenery with a different eye now than the day before. Then he’d been looking for familiar sights. Now he looked for what was different.

He’d been gone for half a year, but his entire world was no longer the same. Everything had changed—was it the same here?

The only signs of change, though, were good ones. Crops rising strong, herds grazing contentedly. There seemed to be more cowboys riding over the sloping foothills of their land than he could account for with only family, and Vicki’s comment about the bunkhouses being full came back to mind.

Shit. He was more than a stupid idiot, he was a blind, stupid idiot. What if his brilliant idea turned out to be a fool’s errand? No use in turning back. He’d be better off knowing, and maybe this would be a first step in rebuilding a connection to family.

Driving in circles, he realized, was a waste of his time. He hauled out his phone and sent a text to his brother.

Jesse: you free? I’d like to talk

It was only a moment later but it felt like an eternity before Blake responded: I’ve got a few minutes. Come by the office in the barn

The place was hopping as he parked in the yard and headed toward the room where his dad used to keep the old ranching records. Mike had done most of his office work in the house, but it seemed there’d been a change—another one—since Jesse had left.

He knocked on the door before pushing it open, whistling softly at the new setup. What used to be a dark room crowded with beat-up filing cabinets from the thrift shop was now a bright space with rows of neat shelves and two desks, edges touching opposite walls. They’d put in new windows and painted the walls white, and the whole place looked shiny and efficient.

“Place looks great.” Jesse approached the desk Blake sat behind, dropping into one of the straight-backed wooden chairs opposite him.

“Thanks.” His brother closed the ledger he was working on and gave Jesse his full attention. There was no judgment on his face, only concern. “How’s Dare?”

“She’s feeling good. Comfortable, at least.”

“I bet she’s scared.”

Jesse hesitated. He was going to toss off something noncommittal, but from the expression on Blake’s face, his brother was serious, Jesse let out a long slow breath. “I think she’s a lot more scared than she’s letting on, yeah, but the baby’s moving lots. She was pretty upbeat when I left her with the girls.”

“How are you doing?”

“Me?”

“You,” Blake confirmed. He made a face. “Nothing I hate more than having to sit helplessly when Jaxi’s hurtin’.”

That unanswerable ache inside flickered up, but Jesse pushed it away, knowing somehow that his brother would let this one ride if he switched topics. “I know I was a bastard last February, and there’s been a million times I wished I’d done that differently, because it was shitty to leave you a man short with no notice. I’m sorry.”

He wasn’t expecting Blake to outright forgive him or say that everything was fine, which was good because he got what he expected.

“You’re right. You should’ve done things differently, but we can’t change that now.” Blake folded his arms across his chest. “What do you need, Jesse?”

“I need work,” he said.

His brother raised a brow.

Jesse looked him in the eye. “I don’t expect any favours, but I don’t know how long Dare will be in the hospital. It’s only until Monday for sure, but what if it’s longer? I don’t want to sit on my ass and twiddle my thumbs. I need to work, not only because I need to take care of her. Because I’m going to go stir-crazy waiting until we know what’s happening.”

Blake eyed him, leaning back in his chair and staying silent.

“I mean it. You need me to clean stalls 24/7, I’ll do it. I can’t tell you how long I’ll be around, so wherever you have tasks to be done. You know I can deal with just about anything, but put me where you need me the most.”

Because whatever happened, he was going to make sure that Dare was taken care of. Right now that seemed to mean he needed to be here in Rocky Mountain House.

For the first time a crack appeared in Blake’s iron-solid walls. “I can give you some jobs. Only between when you need to be with Dare, so before and after visiting hours.”

“I want time with her, yes, but she doesn’t need me there all day,” Jesse pointed out. “You know Mom and Jaxi and the rest will want to visit.”

Blake made a face. “True. But you need to stay within cell phone range.”

“Starting tonight?”

His brother hesitated. “If you’re ready. There’s a crew headed out at eleven to the west grazing lands to pick up some cattle and move them to summer fields. They’ll be back before seven.” Blake stood and opened a thin cupboard with keys to the tractors and combines and all the rest lined up in neat rows. He pulled a set off the hook and tossed them to Jesse. “You can drive the trailer. Kent Parken is lead on the transfer.”

The ache in his gut had spread until his chest and throat were tight. Before Jesse’d fucked up and left, he used to run lead, and Kent had been the hired hand.

Regret was the only emotion he felt—well, regret and gratitude that Blake was giving him a chance.

Jesse rose to his feet. “Thanks. I won’t make you sorry.”

Blake nodded tightly. “Jesse…”

Jesse paused in the doorway, turning back to wait while Blake considered his words.

“Tell Dare we’re here for her. Anything she needs. She just has to ask.”

God damn. The sincerity and the caring and the—

That hard knot in his chest was going to close off his throat one of these times. “I know she’ll appreciate it.”

I appreciate it. The words hung on the tip of his tongue. Why were they so damn hard to say?

Jesse gathered himself up, checking his watch. He had time to stop off at the trailer for a quick shower and to get changed before returning to the hospital.

If he was going to start burning the candle at both ends, he’d better get ready.