CHAPTER TWELVE
MOLLY
“I can’t believe Theo has let Hugo organise a stag do.” Lilly grumbles as she sips her coffee. She’s been moaning about this for the last ten minutes. I don’t know what she thinks is going to happen. Well, strippers. Strippers are going to happen. That’s a given.
I shrug. “Who else was going to do it? Let’s be honest, Hugo was pretty much born for this moment. Fucked up debauchery is exactly his thing.”
She leans her elbows on the table and puts her face in her hands. “He’s going to kill him, or leave him somewhere. I don’t even know where they’re going.”
“What he won’t tell you?” I laugh.
She lifts her head and glares at me. “No, Hugo won’t tell him where he’s taking him, and the stupid fucker is just going to follow that liability of a ‘friend’ of yours to fuck knows where.” I don’t miss the way she says friend, but I ignore it.
“Hugo is a twat, but he won’t do anything too awful.” I don’t think…okay, so he might.
Her phone vibrates on the table, and she picks it up, glancing at the screen.
“Damn, I have to go. Talk to that fucker, and when you do, tell him that if he loses Theo in some foreign country I will kill him personally.” She points at me with raised eyebrows as she says it.
“Will do.” I wave her off absentmindedly. I don’t mention the fact that I haven’t spoken to Hugo since the incident. I’m trying to play it off, pretend that it’s all fine, but I just can’t face him. I’m mortified.
Anyway, she’s fretting for no reason. The guys will do whatever they want, whether she stresses or not, and they sure as shit won’t listen to any threats from me. Well, Hugo won’t anyway. Theo may do, simply for fear of having to spend way too much time with his hand otherwise.
She stands up, furiously typing on her phone as she goes. Lilly is pretty much always working. The life of a solicitor.
“Bye babe.” She looks up from her screen and bends down to kiss my cheek, before leaving the coffee shop in a flurry of red hair and expensive threads.
I check my watch. I still have another half hour of my lunch break, and I am not going back to that hell hole one second before I have to, so I dig around in my bag and find my ipad. I haven’t had much time to read lately, but I do love it. I like the raunchy romance books, where the love story is so twisted that the characters were quite literally made for each other.
I’m right in the middle of a seriously hot shower scene when the chair beside me moves, and a body drops into it.
“Sweetness.” His voice is rough and low, and I’d forgotten how much I love hearing it caress that word. Every time he says it, it makes me act like a giddy girl. Now though, there’s a layer of apprehension surrounding it.
“Hugo.” I look up from my screen at him. His eyes lock with mine and narrow. He looks pissed. Great.
He throws one arm across the back of my chair, brushing the side of his body against my arm. I lean forward slightly, trying to move away from his touch.
There’s an awkward tension between us. I left his flat over a week ago, and I haven’t seen him since. He calls and texts. I keep blowing him off with excuses. I just can’t face him. He reminds me of what a dirty slut I am. Just looking at him makes me feel cheap and nasty, because that’s what I am around him. He says a few words and gives me a couple of drinks and I practically throw my knickers at him, regardless of who I’m hurting in the process.
I like Hugo. He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had, and he gets me in ways that even Lilly doesn’t, but he’s toxic. He makes me feel free, but that freedom comes with a price, because all actions have consequences. Hugo may act on a whim all the time, doing whatever he wants whenever he wants, but I can’t be that person. I care about people other than myself, and how my actions affect them. Did I want Hugo to kiss me in Allure? Yes, of course, but if Alex knew about it, it would hurt him.
I don’t want to hurt Alex. He respects me. I’m not going to throw that away for a spark of passion, because that’s all it ever is with Hugo, an explosive bright spark, and then before I know it he’s moved onto the next girl.
I don’t know what is going to happen here.
“So…” I say, drumming my fingers on the table nervously.
He sighs. “Fucking hell Molly, will you stop acting like this is some big deal. It’s been nearly two weeks. Seriously?”
I turn to face him. “This is a big deal.” His blue eyes search my features, before he drags his hand over his face.
“No, you are making it a big deal. Fuck knows why.”
“Why?!” I practically shriek, before checking myself and lowering the volume. “You got me stoned, and then I…we…had sex, and I’m with Alex. You are supposed to be my friend. It’s all fucked.”
He raises both eyebrows at me. “Okay, drama queen. Firstly, we didn’t have sex. Secondly, I am your friend, and thirdly, you’re with Alex now?” We didn’t have sex? We didn’t have sex! But we did do other things.
“I remember certain things, but it’s hazy.” I admit.
He sighs. “Okay, so I’ll fill you in. I ate your pussy.” He practically fucks the words as he says them, making my skin break out in goose bumps even though I suddenly feel like I’m on fire. “You came, then you passed out.” A blush creeps over my cheeks. “And then I wake up in the morning and you’re gone. I call you and text you. Nothing. That’s a bitch move, sweetness.”
“I…” I stammer. I don’t know what to say. “I didn’t know what to do. You and me, it’s just... I can’t deal with whatever this is that keeps happening between us. We’re friends, but we get drunk and have accidental encounters. Clearly this isn’t working.” My chest gives a little squeeze, because I love being around Hugo, and I don’t want to lose him, but I feel torn.
“One time.” He argues.
“You kissed me in Allure, and then barely a week later that happens.”
He nods, keeping his eyes trained on mine. “Okay, so twice.” He chimes in.
“Twice that we’ve acted on it.” I correct, fuck knows how many others that I’ve wanted to but restrained myself.
“You were drunk both times, and stoned the last. You cannot possibly be held accountable for anything that you do whilst drunk. Everyone knows that.” He says confidently.
“And you? Were you drunk?” I whisper. Something crosses his expression, but it’s gone before I catch it.
“I wasn’t as smashed as you, no.”
“So why did you do it?” I need to know.
“Uh, you have met me, right?” He smirks. He acts like he’s so care free, but I know him now. I can see when he’s just pulling his bullshit to distract from the truth. He comes across as so uncomplicated, but in truth, he’s one of the most closed off people I’ve ever met.
“Hugo, this is serious. I don’t want to be some cheap whore you think you can pick up and put down.” I growl.
“Hey.” He grabs my chin and my skin tingles under his touch. His expression turns serious, all humour gone. “Never.” His eyes are fierce as he speaks. “I would never treat you like a whore, Molly.” He trails his thumb along my jaw and to my bottom lip. His eyes fix on my lips before they darken into something so sinful I find myself unable to breathe properly. My blood feels like it’s raging in my veins, and my skin suddenly feels too tight. His fingers on my skin send what feels like an electric pulse over my body. Ten days. That’s how long it has been since I last saw him in person. I think spending time with him most days built up my resistance to him, but now I have none. He invades my senses in every possible way.
“Hugo.” I breathe.
His eyes lift from my lips to my eyes. “Yeah?” He looks calm, but his eyes are turbulent.
“You need to stop touching me.” I whisper.
He drops his hand away from my face and looks away, fixing his gaze on the table.
He clears his throat. “You said you’re with Alex now?” He doesn’t look up from where he’s scrunching a napkin in his hand.
“Yeah, he said he wanted to make things official, so…” I trail off. Why does this conversation feel so awkward?
He nods. “Good, that’s…he’s good for you.” I can hear nothing but the truth in his words. “So, now you’re with him. There are clear lines. We can be friends. Everything is fine.” He glances sideways at me.
I hesitate for a moment. Can we be friends? I mean, we’re not animals. I can fight my attraction to him. “Yeah, I guess, we can be friends.” His face breaks into a beautiful smile. “But no more kissing, or anything else.” I point at him.
He holds up his hands in surrender. “Okay. No more kissing.” I raise an eyebrow at him. “I promise!”
I smile. “Okay.” He opens his arms, and I twist in my chair to hug him. His arms wrap around my back, squeezing me tight as he buries his face in my hair. “I missed you.” I blurt.
“I missed you too.”
Clear lines. Yeah, right. The lines here are so blurred they’re ten foot fucking wide. I know this and yet I can’t seem to do the right thing and just walk away from Hugo, not even for Alex.