CHAPTER THIRTEEN
HUGO
“You’re going to Vegas?” Molly shrieks. I haven’t told her until now, approximately one hour before we leave. She’s a shitty liar and I know Lilly will have grilled her.
“Ow, eardrums.” I grumble. “Yes, but it’s a surprise. You cannot tell Lilly either. I’m breaking the sacred bro code here by telling you this.”
She crosses her arms across her chest and leans back against the headboard of my bed. She’s petting Gary and watching me pack.
“I want to go to Vegas.” She says sulkily.
I laugh as I grab various items and shove them in the case. She rolls her eyes and gets up, crawling across the bed and snatching things back out, before folding them and putting them back.
“I’ll take you to Vegas, sweetness.” I tell her seriously.
“Really?” She looks up at me, her blue eyes looking hopeful as a smile stretches across her lips. My chest feels like a damn herd of buffalo are stomping all over it as I watch that smile.
“Of course.” I look away quickly and go back into the walk in wardrobe.
“So, what have you got planned for the stag do?” She asks.
I poke my head around the door. “It’s Vegas baby, you don’t plan, you wing it and hope that you make it out alive.” I grin and wiggle my eyebrows at her.
“Okay, I didn’t hear that.” She sighs. “Lilly will hurt me if she finds out that I ever had anything to do with your scheming. I’m so jealous you’re going.” She whines. I step out of the wardrobe and lean against the door frame.
“Look, I’ll document it if you like. Send you pictures.”
“Okay, deal.” Oh, she’s going to get pictures alright. “And I’ll send you pictures of Gary.” She smiles as she pats his head. Soft fucker is so into her it’s ridiculous. I can relate.
“If you dress him up and shit I will never leave him with you again.” I warn.
“Would I?” She feigns innocence. She bought him a fucking hoody. She already has a stash of clothing for him. Not cool.
I check my watch. “I have to go sweetness. I need to be there to strap Theo onto the jet and make sure he doesn’t bail like the pussy little bitch he is.”
“Sounds fun.” I zip the suitcase and wheel it into the hallway by the front door.
“Okay, you know what you’re doing with Gary?”
“Yep. Oh, and Hugo, do me a favour and try not to get Alex killed.” She tilts her head to the side as she places her hand on her hip.
I smile. “No promises.”
Ah, Vegas. The place reeks of money, debauchery and shame. I love it. I pull my Ray-Ban’s over my face as the setting sun glares off the glass windows of the airport.
“You brought me to Vegas?” Theo asks.
“Yeah we did.” His brother Will claps a hand over his shoulder. “Remember what you did to me on my stag do?”
I laugh. “About that…” Theo starts. We might have got him so drunk that he went missing and ended up in Prague with no recollection of how he got there. If this happened to me it would be fine, but Will is as straight laced as they come, which just made it plain awesome.
“Oh no. I never thought you would get married, but payback’s a bitch.” He grins.
Theo turns to me. “Do not let him send me to Prague.” He points at me.
I laugh. “Prague is going to be tame compared to what I have lined up for you my friend.”
Have you ever been to a fight? Probably. Ever been to a midget fight? Didn’t think so. I’m not sure why it’s so funny, but it just is.
The crowd are screaming for blood as the guy in the red shorts hammers the blue. I’ve got ten grand on that little fucker, do he’d best bloody win. There’s small man syndrome and then there’s this guy, who must be the angriest guy in history. He punches his opponent in the nose and blood goes everywhere.
“It’s a good fucking job he’s not six foot!” Theo laughs, shouting over the crowd. He sways on his feet as a bottle of beer gets launched across the room in front of us. Fists are waving, clasping notes and beer bottles. It’s crazy in a way that only Vegas can be.
I turn around and spot Alex wedged between Will and Henry, one of our friends from Eaton. He looks like a fish out of water. When Theo told me he’d invited him I kind of wanted to punch him. I don’t like the guy. He’s too nice, too fucking good. And if it looks too good to be true, it usually is. Of course Theo didn’t know where we were going. I could have warned the guy and told him this wouldn’t be his scene, but honestly, any time I’ve seen him lately he hasn’t been all that keen to speak to me. It’s almost an unspoken agreement between us now. We are polar fucking opposites and he knows it. No point pretending you like someone who is clearly not your bag.
The crowd goes wild as the red guy knocks out the blue, and is declared the winner, putting me fifteen grand up.
“Fuck yes!” I shout, grabbing Theo around the neck. He laughs as we sway drunkenly.
“To the poker tables!” He points toward the bookies booth where we collect money.
“Let’s double this shit!” I yell.
By day two my liver feels like it might fall out, and Theo isn’t looking too clever. I’ve pissed over thirty grand on the tables in two days. Theo has just lost fifty in one game. In his defence, he was beaten by a business-woman who looked like she might eat us both alive.
I’m consoling Theo by taking him to one of the best strip clubs on The Strip. The girls here are fucking beautiful.
Henry, Will and Alex are sitting in a private booth, watching what can only be described as fucking perfection sliding down a pole. Theo and I are at the bar.
“Jesus Christ, what I wouldn’t do to fuck her.” I say, watching as she spirals down the pole, holding on with just her thighs. Her sparkly underwear catches on the lights, making her look like some kind of apparition from heaven. She might just fucking be.
Theo smiles as he lifts his glass of whiskey to his lips. “I’d almost suffer the beat down Lilly would give me for that.” He mumbles against the rim of the glass, gesturing toward the girl.
“Fuck off would you. She’d cut your nuts off and feed them to you.”
He cups his junk protectively. “Oh, I know.” He glances over to where the guys are sat. “Alex looks terrified.” He snorts.
“He’s probably never seen a stripper.” I smile. Yeah, he’s that good, I wouldn’t put it past him. I mean, seriously, the guy had never pulled an all nighter before Thursday night. How do you even manage to go to Uni and not do that. It’s like a rite of passage or some shit. Hell, I was pretty much fucking nocturnal when I was a student. Admittedly this might explain why I didn’t get into Uni, but still…I did okay for myself. “He’s too good for that shit.” I mumble.
Theo rolls his eyes. “He’s really not a bad guy. I don’t know why you hate him so much.” He pauses. “Actually, no, I do.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Look at him, he’s just all; ‘I save lives.’” I put on my best pretentious twat impression. He snorts, spitting scotch everywhere. “Dude, you are such a prick.” I wipe my hand on his sleeve, as he laughs.
“I never thought I would see the day.” He says as he tries to catch his breath. “You are jealous.” He grins like the smug bastard that he is.
“You forget my friend, I’m the guy that other guys are jealous of, not the other way around. You used to be, but now…well, now you’re just a boring fucker. You won’t even have a crack at the stripper.” I raise an eyebrow and start backing away from him towards one of the dancers working the floor. “What happened to you man? You used to be cool.”
The rest of the night is a blur. I know there are lap dances and strippers. Alex and Will bail at one in the morning. Pussies.
Theo, Henry and I go to a sparty. It’s basically a massive party in a swimming pool, but it’s an anything goes kind of deal. We have Crystal, Ruby and Lola with us. Nothing makes a party like strippers.
I lean against the side of the pool and sip a beer. Theo is next to me, his feet dangling in the water as he lays on the tiled floor next to the pool in his boxers. He’s fucking trashed. Hell, I’m fucking trashed.
The pool is rammed with people, some fully clothed, most butt naked like me. It’s a total tit fest in here, and I’m pretty sure this pool is more bodily fluids and beer than actual water. People are fucking in the corners and dancing to the heavy bass music as lights flash across the water.
“I can’t see.” Theo shouts. Ruby is sat on the other side of him, kicking her feet in the water. All I can see is her massive fucking bare tits. I bite my lip as I pop wood. I feel a hand glide down my body and drop below the water line to grab a hold of my cock. I turn to my left and meet the horny gaze of Crystal. Her fingers slide up and down my cock.
“Wanna see how long I can hold my breath for?” She purrs in her southern accent.
She doesn’t even wait for me to answer as she moves in front of me and takes a deep breath, sinking below the water. I feel her warm mouth engulf my cock and fucking hell. I grip the edge of the pool as I pitch forward drunkenly. Her tongue works over my bell end as her fingers tickle my balls. It’s a wonder she can even get below the waterline with that rack. Tits float you know?
I don’t know how long she can hold her breath, but long enough to make me come. I don’t know whether that’s embarrassing on my part or fucking epic on hers.
I jump awake to a loud noise. The fuck? I squint an eye against the bright morning light, trying to get my bearings. There’s a naked girl on either side of me, neither of which seem to be alive. The noise repeats, and I realise it’s the hotel phone.
I fumble around on the bedside table and pick it up. “Hello.” I croak.
“Mr Harrison?” I bright female voice asks.
“Yeah?”
“There is a gentleman in reception for you. He is unconscious, but he has your name and room number written on his forehead.” The thing about Vegas is no matter how ridiculous something is, the hotel staff are always super professional, because they’ve seen it all before. I have no idea who it is though.
“What does he look like?” I grumble.
“Um, dark hair, tall, attractive.” She stammers.
“Ugh, can you get someone to bring him up here?” I groan. I can’t move right now.
“Of course, sir. Have a good day.” Americans, such polite people. Can you bring an unconscious unknown person to my room? Yep, have a good day.
I glance at the bedside table to check the time. It’s eight thirty in the fucking morning. Ugh! I shouldn’t be fucking conscious right now. I quickly forget how horrified I am over the time though when my eyes focus on the object next to the clock. There on the bedside table is a massive fucking strap-on. I nervously look over the girls led on either side of me, and my memory starts to throw flashbacks at me. Really fucking good flashbacks. A mouth wrapped around my cock, sucking my balls. I’ve never actually met a girl who could get two balls in her mouth at once. I have now, but I can’t remember her name. Looking at that strap-on, I think I really should have remembered. Either I had the most epic threesome of all time, or I got royally violated. One I really really want to remember, and the other just makes me want to go kill myself. I mean, I’m all for a cheeky finger, but fucking hell, that thing looks like a battering ram. I clench my arse cheeks a bit. Surely I’d be feeling that shit?
There’s a knock on the door, and I crawl over the unconscious bodies to answer it. I open it, and standing there is a semi-conscious Theo and a guy in a suit who looks like security propping him up. He clears his throat, and makes a very concerted effort to look at my face. I glance down. I’m naked and I have an erection. Well, this is awkward. I take Theo’s arm and pull it around my shoulders, guiding him into the room. The guy wordlessly closes the door and leaves.
Fuck me, he weighs a tonne. I dump him on the sofa and have to prop myself against the wall for a second as the room starts to spin.
“Put your cock away.” He grumbles, as he tries to cover his eyes. He has no shoes on and is wearing his jeans, t-shirt and a glittery bra. The fuck? He also has written on his head in thick black writing:
Return to Hugo Harrison. Room 214. The Venetian. Vegas baby!!
“Dude, where the fuck were you?” I keep my voice low. I’m walking the line of being drunk and having a hangover.
“I don’t know.” He mumbles with his arm thrown over his face. “Around.” In other words he can’t remember.
I walk over to the bar and make a short glass of whiskey, necking it quickly. I wince as it burns it’s way down my throat. I’d rather be pissed than hung over. I make another one and take it to Theo. He sits up and downs it. Literally five fucking seconds later he throws up, all over the carpet.
Oh god, I can’t deal with this shit. I ignore it and crawl back into the bed, shoving one of the girls over on the bed.
I can hear Theo groaning from the sofa, and the room fucking stinks of sweaty bodies, sex and vomit. I don’t care right now. I can’t fucking function this early in the morning. I can’t remember what the fuck happened last night and I need sleep before we fly back this afternoon. So I leave him to possibly die of alcohol poisoning.
“What the fuck?!” I groan and roll over as someone starts cursing loudly.
There’s a thud, thud, thud as said person stomps across the room. I drag my eyes open and squint at a bollock naked Theo.
“Ah, dude, put that away.” I hold my hand up shielding my eyes from that shit. Oh, that’s nasty.
“Look at my fucking dick!” He shouts. One of the girls stirs beside me.
“I am not looking at your dick. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I rasp. My throat feels like the bloody Sahara.
“I have a tattoo on my dick!” Okay, so now I look.
I sit up and twist my head to the side to read the letters tattooed up the length of his junk. Lilly.
“Oh, fuck.” I laugh, falling back on the bed.
“This is fucked up dude.” He stands there with sharpie still on his forehead and his dick out which is bright pink and covered in black ink. “It fucking hurts!”
“I’m surprised they didn’t cling film it.” I muse. Now that would have been funny.
“You’re funny.” He is not happy. “Lilly is going to kill me.”
I close my eyes and roll over. “She should be grateful, I mean, that’s fucking commitment right there.”
“Wait, what is that?” He points at me.
“What is what?” I open one eye.
“On your chest.” I pull away the sheet and reveal a fucking tattoo on my right pec. Oh hell no. “What does that even say?” He leans in close trying to read it.
“Crystal.” The girl on my left croaks, sitting up and stretching. “It says Crystal.”
“Who the fuck is Crystal?!”
She smiles and cocks an eyebrow. I won’t pretend I’m not looking at her tits, because I am. “That.” She points at the other girl. “Is Crystal.”
“Dude, why have you got nipple tassels on?” Theo asks.
“How the fuck should I know?” I’m more concerned with the fucking tat all across my chest. Well, I’ll never forget that one’s name, that’s for sure.
“I think we should go home.” Theo says.
For once I’m inclined to agree with him. A four day bender is one thing, but a four day Vegas bender? That’s a whole new ball game.