“SIT STILL. I STILL NEED to finish your makeup.”
“I don’t want to sit still,” I whine. “I want to get outside already and marry E.”
“Well, I’d be done by now if your eyes didn’t look like a raccoon’s,” Lysee chides.
“You know I slept like shit last night,” I huff, crossing my arms across my chest like a petulant twelve-year-old girl.
“You’d think after the amount of alcohol we drank, you’d have passed out.”
Last night we had my version of the “perfect bachelorette party.” The girls are all staying with me at Heather’s house and Beverly, Mary, and Tonya joined in on our celebration. We hung out, made fruity drinks, gossiped, watched “chick flicks” on Netflix, and ate mounds of junk food. Like I said, perfect… The rest of the night, not so much. It was my first night since I physically met E that we didn’t sleep together and I hated it. Waking up next to him every morning is a gift I never take for granted and I never want to wake up without him again. Sandi chose to share a room with Beth and I bunked with Lysee. She kept the bed warm but she isn’t E. I chuckle to myself when I remember how frustrated she got and smile at what she did.
“Okay,” she huffed. “You move one more time and I’m going to have to beat your ass.”
“I can’t sleep,” I complained.
Lysee looked at me and raised a sarcastic eyebrow. “Gee, Dani, I would never have guessed.”
“Okay, Your Highness of Sarcasm.”
Lysee gave me one more of her looks and left the room. When I shouted I was just kidding, I heard the trail of her laughter as she descended the back stairs. I decided to follow her but when I moved to get out of the bed, she flounced back into the room with a quart of Ben and Jerry’s Chunky Monkey and two huge spoons. I smiled and flipped on the television to HGTV and we settled into an old episode of House Hunters. But when she said, “The rehearsal dinner was something, wasn’t it?” TV time was quickly abandoned.
Since the wedding is in Heather and Jerry’s backyard, we had the rehearsal dinner here before my bachelorette party. Beverly brought over old photo albums of Scott, and Heather brought out the ones from E’s high school days, the ones with Scott in them. I got to see pictures of Scott I had never seen before and while my heart was filled with pain, the chains that bound it were gone and I was actually able to smile. I also got to see pictures of Alyssa and Alex, along with sonograms of the baby. We laughed through all the funny stories while crying at the fact they’re no longer here. I’ll never stop loving Scott and I’ll always miss him but I’ve found strength I never knew I had, and I found E.
“Nope,” I answer with a smile because she finally put the tube of lipstick down and backed away. “And now…”
“I know,” she sighs. “You’re going to marry your E.” She says the last part with her voice an octave higher, while pretending to be me. But there’s nothing that can wipe the smile off my face because I am, indeed, going to marry my E.
I grew up in a Mediterranean-style home my parents built from the ground up and filled with many personal touches. It’s elegant yet comfortable and I’ve used that aesthetic in everything I design.
In the beach areas, since property is so tight, many homeowners build either down, adding extra space, or create a rooftop space on top of their home. My parents added a basement and converted it into a “man cave” after my sister and I moved out. This is where I currently am, hanging out with my father, Rodger, Charles, Justin, Chance, Josh, and Kyle watching sports, shooting the shit, and drinking copious amounts of whisky. While it’s been fun and relaxing, I’m more than ready to head outside and marry my Dee. It’s for that reason I’m the first one out of the room when we finally receive our orders to report to the backyard where the wedding is being held.
The girls have taken over the top floor and have all been holed up there since yesterday. Last night was the first night since I physically met Dee that we’ve been apart. I hated every single minute of it and it will be the last night we ever sleep apart! I slept like shit!
The entire backyard has been decorated with white Christmas lights. My mom keeps lights up all year round to give the yard a romantic feel but has put in even more in honor of the occasion. Chairs and an aisle flanked by flowers have been set up to greet our guests and the arbor is covered with flowers and other Christmas decorations.
The first Christmas after the accident was spent running as far away from my reality as possible. Justin and I escaped to New York to spend it with his cousin Shannon. Now I look at this Christmas in awe. It’s mind-blowing to me how much things can change within the course of a year. The love we have for Scott, Alyssa, Alex, and the baby will never die and they’re never far from our thoughts. The day may carry a hint of melancholy but we all know they’re together, safe and pain free. We rest better at night knowing that.
My family hosted a rehearsal dinner last night which only included our family and the wedding party. Beverly and my mom brought out old photo albums. Dee got to see pictures of Scott she had never seen before along with pictures of Alyssa, Alex and sonograms of the baby. As I looked at pictures of my family, I felt my world begin to darken. But Dee immediately became my light. She was by my side in a flash, showing her strength and love as she did so many times this past year. In her embrace, I knew I’d always be okay. With that, I took a second look at the pictures and was actually able to appreciate and cherish all those special times.
Dee also announced that we’ll be displaying many pictures of them as well as pictures of Scott throughout our new home. I completely agree with her. It’s a beautiful way to honor their memory.
We laughed, we cried, and we reminisced. Both Dee and I are grateful for our past; we were each blessed with amazing love which ended far too soon. It was a long, difficult and extremely painful journey to survive that loss, but everything we’ve been through brought us to where we are today and we’re now ready to head into our future.
Sunset is my favorite time of the day and from our west-facing backyard, we’re granted a clear view of the setting sun as it descends into the Pacific Ocean. I love watching the sky as it comes alive with color. Brushstrokes of pink, coral, and yellow mix seamlessly with wispy clouds and vapor trails which have gained a lavender hue as the lightness of the day fades into night.
Standing under the arbor, I look out over the people who mean the most to me in this world; people who make a difference in my life. Everyone is dressed in formalwear. We were originally going to keep it informal but being that Christmas is right around the corner, and that this is a huge moment in all our lives, Dee and I decided to go all out and the scene is one to behold.
As the first chords of Christina Perri’s “A Thousand Years” starts playing, I feel my heart begin to pound, and I have to blink to stop the tears of elation that threaten to spill. They say that “Happiness is being married to your best friend.” Dee is that and so much more and my happiness shines at that level.
Chloe, our flower girl, is the first person I see along with Po, the ring bearer, and both are dressed for the occasion. The sight makes me smile and I instantly relax. All my friends soon follow, and then I see her, my Dee. She’s radiant. My heart stops and starts again and I know in that instant I’m right where I’m supposed to be. My heart’s right where it’s supposed to be.
I don’t know how I got so lucky in love, not once but twice, but I’m embracing it with all that I am and I’m never letting it go.