All the way back to Tyler I have been inside my head trying to figure out what I should do. It’s all happening so fast. Lil has tried to draw me into her and Cap’s conversation, but I just need to think. I cannot afford to make mistakes. It seems I have always been one paycheck away from living in my truck again and I don’t want to go back. One of Grammy’s rules in life is keep moving forward and don’t look back. I never quite understood it until I was all alone. If you look back, it’s always right there trying to pull you back.

I never had a mother to miss. I always wanted one. Grammy tried, but I’ve always felt like I missed something everyone else has. I vaguely remember my dad, but I can never be sure if it is actual memories or because Grammy always spoke of things we did. Grammy, bless her heart, was always just tired. I learned early to take care of myself as best I could just to give her a break. She worked so hard. I guess that is where I got my work ethic. First one there and last one to leave.

School was hard for me. Not the studying and learning part, but the part of making friends. I guess I was what you would call a nerd. My nose always in a book so I could soak up any kind of knowledge. I was quiet and didn’t like to break the rules. I had a challenging time making even casual friends. I had no time for friends. I went to school and then did odd jobs for people my Grammy knew. Any odd job, from walking their pets to cleaning garages. When I turned sixteen I was finally old enough for a real job.

I was very lucky to have Grammy and I tried my hardest to make sure she knew this and never let her down. She worked hard, so I worked hard. The only thing we ever splurged on was my driver’s license. I took drivers education in school. She said it was because she knew her eyes would give out on her sooner or later and I needed to be able to do the errands. We had only the one vehicle that used to be my dad’s.

Shine said he claimed me. I don’t even know what that means. I’m guessing he wants me to be like a girlfriend. I’ve never had a boyfriend. No time, and I am way too shy around men. He said I would never be alone again and he wanted to take care of me, but I don’t know how he knows this, because he doesn’t know me. None of them know me. What if I take the chance and they don’t like me? Then what? It’s a big gamble, but I want it so bad. I’ve never felt so lonely.

They said they were part of a motorcycle club. I know nothing about motorcycle clubs, but they have been so kind to me. I just can’t imagine Lil being anything but nice. The men are big and sometimes a little gruff, but they have kind eyes. My gut tells me they are mostly good people, but I think they are intimidating at the least. I want to give it a chance though.

Taking care of rescued animals would be a dream job for me right now. I love animals and helping them after they have been mistreated is something I believe in. I’ve always wanted a dog, but we never could afford one. Grammy always said that adopting any kind of pet is like extending your family. They are completely dependent on you for everything and it’s a life commitment. If I do this, I get to help with their care. My mind is working overtime. My eyes feel heavy and I think I’ll just shut my eyes for a minute.

I hear knocking. It seems far away, but it is getting louder. Then I feel like I am falling and being picked up. I open my eyes and Shine is holding me like a baby in his arms. I guess I must have fallen asleep and we arrived at Lil and Captain’s house. How Shine got me out of the SUV is surprising because I usually don’t sleep very sound. “I can walk now. I’m awake. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to have to carry me. If you had shaken me or yelled I would have woken up.”

I thought he would put me down, but he just keeps on walking straight into a beautiful farm house. I’m trying to look around and take it all in. It looks like something out of a magazine. It has high ceilings, hard wood floors and there is so much room. Shine sits me on the sofa and I am almost scared to move. This is an expensive home and I do not belong here.

“Ma’am, I can’t stay here. I don’t fit in here. I thought you needed help, but I can see you can afford to hire someone experienced. I don’t want to disappoint you.” Lil is beside me in no time.

“I want you, Katie. This is just possessions. I just take care of my things. Do you know how hard it is taking care of this big house alone? Some of your job will be helping me in here. Plus, I must keep these three, plus more, fed. Not an easy job. So you see, you’re doing me a favor.” I just don’t know why.

“Okay. I’ll give it a try, but you have to promise if I don’t work out you will give me some time to move.” That’s the only way I can do this.

“Yes, we’ll give you plenty of time and I don’t think that will ever be a problem. I had Con tell Brown you would be changing jobs. As a favor to the club, no notice needed.” I can’t do that.

“I have to give Mr. Brown notice. He was good to me.” Not a lot of people would take a chance on me.

“He is okay with it. I do business with Brown. We could talk about pay later, but I know it is a concern of yours, so how does five hundred a week sound? I’ll adjust it so that is your take home after taxes. You’ll get a one- bedroom apartment with all utilities paid and insurance. You can adjust your hours with each semester at school. Lil can let you know what she needs done each day. Can you cook?”

I hope that is not a deal breaker because I can cook what Grammy and I were used to eating, but we were on a tight budget. Sometimes grilled cheese and tomato soup was a luxury, but even if we only had noodles, we ate.

“I can cook some things, but I am eager to learn. We never had a lot of fancy food. I can make homemade soup, lasagna, beans, and plenty of mac and cheese.” Captain and Lil both look happy.

“We like mac and cheese. I’m sure you’ll catch on fast. The rest we can iron out later. You need to get settled. We had them put your things in the spare room.” I must tell him one more thing.

“Sir, the pay is a little more than I expected since I am getting a place to live also. Anytime you need to lower it, it’ll be fine. I want you to get your money’s worth.” Cap looks at his feet and then back to me.

“Darlin’, you’ll earn it and you are worth that and more.” Cap thinks I am worth something. For some reason that brings tears to my eyes.

“Katie, follow me and you can rest until I get us something to eat. With all the excitement we forgot to stop. I’ll get a brunch figured up.” I think I just want a nap. We leave the men behind and go up the stairs to the bedrooms. I never expected a room so big and extravagant. This one room seems bigger than my whole apartment. Over by what I guess is the closet door is three boxes and a trash bag of my things. My clothes are on the bed. I see it has its own bathroom.

“Are you sure you want me to stay in here? It is very nice and so big.” Lil is looking at my clothes on the bed.

“Yes, this room looks out over the back yard and our pond. It’s very early in the morning and late in the afternoon. I’ll ask Con where they put your other clothes.” She is taking my clothes and hanging them in the closet.

“It looks like this is all of them, except for the ones I had in drawers.” I go and look in one of the boxes and then another and there they are. “It looks like everything is here.”

“This all your things? Okay. I will hang the rest of these up. You make yourself comfortable and when I finish I will get us some brunch.” Lil finishes and looks back at me. “Well, that’s done. I’ll send one of the men after you when brunch is ready. Rest.” Then she leaves me. I lay on the bed and give in to my tiredness. All this just has my head on spin and I need sleep.