CHAPTER
NINETEEN
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Ella
"Mom?" Violet called out.
"Yes, baby?" I asked, glancing over from the sink where I was elbow deep in dishes. Not for the first time, I really wished Evan and Beth had a dishwasher.
My daughter was in the middle of the kitchen doorway. She'd just gotten the vacuum out of the closet like I'd asked her to, and was dragging it behind her into the living room.
"If I vacuum the whole house can you take me somewhere to go swimming?" she asked with a hopeful expression.
I sighed softly. "I'd love to, baby, but I don't know anyone with a pool."
"Oh," she said with a crestfallen expression.
"I'm sorry, Violet," I said regretfully.
"It's okay, Mom," she replied in a dejected tone, then shuffled off out of sight with the vacuum in tow.
I turned back to the sink as I pressed my lips together, feeling sad and inadequate. Violet loved to swim, and during the summer she was in the large pool Ray had at his mansion almost every day and wouldn't come out until she was a prune. Now we didn't even have a home to call our own, let alone a pool. She was a good kid, and she deserved so much better than this. I sucked in a few breaths to keep from crying again since I didn't want to upset her with my tears. Violet had been in such good spirits this last week, and hadn't woken up at night crying for her father once. I wanted to keep her that way. By the time Violet started the vacuum a few moments later, I had myself back under control again.
A short time later, as I was just finishing up washing the last plate, I heard several hard thumps over the sound of the vacuum. I paused as the vacuum shut off, then heard the front door being unlocked and opened, followed by my daughter greeting someone with a friendly "hi". Damn it, how many times did I have to tell Violet to let me answer the door. I huffed in annoyance as I dried off my hands, then hurried out to the living room to see who Violet had so recklessly let into the house.
I stumbled to a halt not two steps into the living room when I saw Calder standing at the door outside staring down at Violet with a stunned expression. My heart thundered in my chest at the sight of him, the same yearning for him that I felt every time he was near pulling at me in an instant.
I'd been thinking about him almost constantly since he disappeared from my bedroom on Saturday morning. It had felt so good to be held, to sleep all night next to someone I trusted, to have sex feel good and not be something I had to tolerate and get over with. I missed him and longed for him, but we could never be again. There was too much pain and heartbreak between us that was all my fault, and it had driven him to an addiction that could very well have killed him. It was for the best that he left that morning and had been avoiding me ever since. I was too broken, too lost to offer him any kind of real relationship, even if he was interested, which I was sure he wasn't. At least that was until right now as he stood at my door.
Calder's gaze lifted from Violet to me. I expected his eyes to brighten and burn with a flash of lust and longing just like when he showed up here Saturday night. What I got instead sent a chill up my spine. For an instant, a fiery rage surged to life in his eyes, and it pinned me where I stood, my heart stuttering and racing for a very different reason now. A second later, his face relaxed into a blank mask, and his eyes became eerily devoid of any emotion.
"Ella," he said in a polite controlled tone that his rigid demeanor completely belied. "I need to speak with you immediately." He spared a quick glanced at Violet. "In private."
Violet furrowed her brow as she looked back and forth between Calder and me. She was far too observant to miss the tension in the room. "Is my mom in trouble, Calder?" she asked worriedly. "Is this because she missed work last weekend? Are you going to fire her? She really was sick. I swear." How the hell did Violet know Calder, and that he was my boss?
"No, Violet," Calder answered her, his face and tone softening as he spoke to her. "Your mom's not in trouble at work. I just need to talk to her about something important."
How the hell did he know my daughter's name? I knew I never mentioned it to him. I looked questioningly at Violet. I intended to get to the bottom of that eventually, but right now I needed her out of here. Calder was livid about something, and I certainly didn't want Violet around for whatever was about to go down between us.
"Baby?" I said to my daughter. "Why don't you go upstairs and vacuum our bedroom for me."
Violet looked suspiciously between Calder and me again, her eyes narrowing like she was going to argue. That kid was so protective of me, and it was sweet, but now wasn't the time for it.
"That wasn't a suggestion, Violet," I added firmly as I arched a brow and eyed her pointedly.
"Okay," she said reluctantly with a deep frown as she gave Calder a heavy dose of side-eye.
She unplugged the vacuum and dragged it toward the stairs. Calder stepped into the house, and we watched Violet lug it upstairs in silence as the tension came off of him in almost palpable waves.
My nerves jittered through me since I had no idea why he was so angry. It reminded me of the times Ray would send Violet to her room, so she wouldn't see him verbally berate me and shove me around when he was angry with me. He was always so careful not to do it in front of our daughter. Old habits died hard after ten years of that kind of treatment, even if I knew Calder wouldn't lay a hand on me like that.
When Violet disappeared, he shot a fierce glower at me and stepped closer, his demeanor rigid and intimidating. The second the vacuum turned on upstairs he spoke. "Did you not think I'd figure it out?" he hissed out angrily.
Wh...what?" I asked in confusion as I backed away from him into the kitchen. He followed me, his eyes blazing fiercely as he loomed over me. I'd never been more aware of how much wider and bulkier he was from what I remembered twelve years ago. Confused fear skittered through me.
"What kind of monster does something like that?" he asked as he shook his head incredulously.
"D...does what?' I stuttered out in bewilderment as my hips touched the counter, stopping my instinctive retreat.
"Don't play stupid with me. It's insulting," he said derisively. "H...how could you do such a thing?" he added, his voice starting to break as pain flashed across his eyes.
I stared up at him in slack jawed confusion.
"You...you took her from me," he said as actual tears gleamed in his eyes now. "You let that...that fucking bastard call her his." He grabbed my upper arms, his fingers digging into me, not quite hurting, but close. "Why?" he rasped out harshly.
"C...Calder," I stuttered out. "I...I don't know what you're talking about?"
He let go of me and stepped back with a disgusted sneer. He pointed up toward the second floor. "I'm talking about Violet, our daughter. How could you?"
I opened and closed my mouth, but nothing came out. Violet? Our daughter? What?
"After all we shared, after how much I loved you. How could you do that to me?"
I watched in fascinated horror as a few tears escaped his eyes.
"How could you hurt me like this all over again?" His body deflated, and he turned away from me and bowed his head. "How?" he asked in a defeated whisper.
Oh my God, he thought Violet was his? I didn't know why he thought that, but I stepped forward to explain, speaking in a soothing tone in the hopes of calming him. "Calder, Violet is only ten-years-old. She can't be yours."
His head whipped back toward me, his eyes blazing. "Liar," he seethed. He turned and surged toward me, his face right in mine again. "I saw her the day of your interview. She told me how old she was, so you can stop with the lies. I know the truth. You left me and took my child with you." His hands clenched, his body trembling with anger and pain. "Why, Ella? Why?"
I closed my eyes and deflated with a deep sigh. Who'd have thought Violet's bizarre need to tell people she was almost twelve would come back to bite me in the ass like this. I could tell him the truth, but I didn't think he'd believe me. Calder was too upset and distraught at this point. I needed to show him. I turned and walked out of the kitchen, and he followed right behind me.
"Don't walk away from me," he demanded. "Where are you going?"
I ignored him as I went down the hall to the closet, and pulled open the door.
"What are you doing?" he asked as I knelt and slid a small fireproof box out from the back corner toward me.
I turned the key that I'd left in the lock on the front of the box and lifted the lid. I reached in and shuffled through the papers inside until I found a familiar envelope. I stood and held it out to Calder without a word.
"What the hell is this?" he asked irritably as he glared at the envelope.
"It's Violet's birth certificate," I explained calmly.
He snatched it from my hand, then opened it and pulled out the piece of paper inside. He scanned the document with narrowed eyes that suddenly widened in realization. He looked at me in confusion. "B...but Violet said she was almost twelve."
I sighed and shrugged. "I don't really understand why, but for some reason, she keeps telling people that. She's tall for her age, so people believe her." I gave him an apologetic expression. "I'm sorry."
"No," Calder replied in a pained tone as he handed me the paper. "I'm the one who barged in here like a belligerent asshole, and scared you."
"I knew you wouldn't hurt me," I said with certainty as I shook my head.
"It doesn't make it right," he said as his eyes softened with remorse. He reached up to cup my cheek in his hand. "I'm sorry," he murmured as I leaned my face into his warm palm.
An unexpected peaceful feeling fell over me at his touch. His eyes fixed on my mouth and began to burn bright with lust.
"How can I make it up to you?" he whispered as his thumb swept gently across my mouth. My breathing and heart rate spiked as desire shivered through me.
I parted my lips in a silent invitation for a kiss, telling him exactly what he could do to make it up to me, when a loud thump came from the staircase around the corner from where we stood. We both startled and immediately stepped apart as the thumping continued. I stuffed Violet's birth certificate into the fireproof box and shoved it back into the closet with a foot. I'd just finished closing the door when Violet appeared at the end of the hallway with the vacuum. I'd been so engrossed in Calder that I didn't realize she'd shut it off upstairs a few moments ago.
"I'm finally done," she announced with a melodramatic tone and a beleaguered expression.
Suddenly, she began eying Calder with narrowed and calculating eyes. Great. She was no doubt wondering what the two of us were doing in the hallway together. Did I look as guilty as I felt for almost kissing another man only a few months after her father died? The last thing I wanted her to see was me making out with Calder. She wouldn't understand, and it would upset her. She didn't know my history with Calder, or know that my marriage to Ray was an abusive unhappy one.
"Do you have a pool?" she unexpectedly asked him.
"Um...uh...yes?" Calder answered uncertainly, standing next to me and wearing a completely baffled expression. Violet's roller coaster of a mind tended to have that kind of effect on people.
She immediately grinned at him like the Cheshire cat, and that was when I realized exactly how Calder could make it up to me, and in the process make my Violet happy too.