CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE
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Ella
The force and power behind this kiss was like nothing Calder had given me before, hard, fierce, and absolutely dominating. So much so that my lips almost felt bruised, and I was a limp and swooning puddle of goo in his arms by the time he pulled his mouth away from mine with a low sexy growl.
His eyes suddenly softened with concern. "I need to ask you something first, Ella," he said in an unexpectedly serious tone. "It's important."
I blinked up at him, my brain still a little stunned and misfiring as I tried to gather a coherent thought. I nodded for him to continue when I could think again.
"Did Ray abuse you in any way?" He reached up to caress my cheek. "I don't want to upset you unintentionally or set off any psychological triggers."
I hesitated, not wanting to talk about Ray right now, or ever, with Calder, but his concerns were valid and reasonable. "He...he shoved me around a lot, but never actually hit me." I frowned and looked down at his wide chest. "It was mostly psychological and verbal abuse" -my voice dropped to a whisper- "or threats to take Violet away from me."
I closed my eyes as that lost and broken feeling that always seemed to overshadow my life fell over me. I was so tired of it. I wanted it gone, like Ray was. I wanted to forget about the mess that my life had become. I needed a reprieve, an escape. Tears pricked my eyes as a small hiccuping sob escaped me. I felt Calder's body go rigid. I opened my eyes, and met his gorgeous gaze as a brief flash of murderous rage gleamed in his eyes that just as quickly eased back into his usual controlled composure.
"Shh." Calder's hands slid to the back of my neck, his fingers sifting through my hair. "None of that now," he said gently. "You're here with me, and I've got you," he continued with firm certainty. "You don't have to think. You don't have to worry about anything. Just be, and I'll take care of the rest."
"Okay," I replied waveringly with a slight nod.
"If at any time you need me to stop or slow down, you will say so immediately, and no matter what. Understood?" he asked in a commanding tone.
I nodded in reply, which earned me a hard stare and an arched brow.
"When we play you will answer my questions with words, and you will address me as sir," he explained sternly. "Do you understand?"
"Yes, s...sir," I replied with a jerky nod, the words feeling odd, yet somehow so very right.
His eyes burst into bright blue fire at my words, his nostrils flaring and his body suddenly radiating heat and power and sex. Oh my God. I gasped at the change in him, my body singing with instant desire. His lips were on mine again a heartbeat later, and his tongue speared into my mouth with a hard intoxicating demand that I couldn't resist. He pulled me in flush against his big body, the outline of his steely erection pressing into my stomach as he fed on me with savage and barely controlled ferocity. One hand gripped my ass, the other the back of my neck as he held me right where he wanted me, manhandling my body as he practically fucked my mouth with his talented and unrelenting tongue.
I was unbelievably wet in an instant, my body drowning in lust and my clit throbbing so sweetly. I let out a long needy mewl as this man inundated me with raw lust like I'd never felt before, and wiped away all cares and worries from my mind. I was so lost to it that I staggered when he pulled away, and he had to grab my upper arms to steady me as I clutched at his suit jacket.
"Ella," he gasped out in a strained and husky tone. He reached up to brush his fingertips across my swollen and still tingling lips as his eyes swam with lust and deeper emotions I couldn't begin to fathom or understand in the wake of his devastating kiss. His body was trembling now, and so was mine.
He sucked in a deep breath and straightened his spine, stilling his body and hardening his expression. He stepped back, and I somehow managed to stand without his support. He was all steely control and alpha male dominance again.
"You will strip, fold your clothes neatly, and put them on the dresser," he said sternly with an intimidating stare that froze me where I stood. "Now, Ella," he snapped out sharply when I hadn't managed to move yet.
I startled, and my hands moved to unfasten the buttons of my shirt without thought, as if I was born to submit to this man. He turned away and took slow unhurried steps toward the door. He reached out and turned the lock on the door with an oddly loud click that filled the quiet room and sent a shudder of excited trepidation through me. He faced me again and eyed my lace covered breasts avidly as I slipped my shirt off my shoulders. He continued watching me as I folded my shirt and laid it on the dresser, then pulled off my shoes and socks.
His heated gaze shot downward as I reached to unfasten the button and zipper of my black pants, then blazed a trail down my legs as I slipped them off. I folded my pants and placed them on the dresser with my shirt. His intense scrutiny could have made me uncomfortable, could have made me feel embarrassed, but it didn't. I liked it, a lot. In fact, it turned me on.
I fearlessly reached back to unhook the clasp of my black lace bra. I wanted his eyes on my naked body, every damn inch of it. I pulled the bra off my arms and watched the lust in his eyes burn hotter as my nipples pebbled and hardened under his gaze. I heard him let out a low growl under his breath, and felt powerful and feminine and very much desired. It was a heady feeling. I slid my fingers down my belly to the band of my lacy boyshort panties, and eased them off my hips and pushed them to the floor. I placed my underthings with the rest of my clothes, then stood naked and unashamed for Calder, my breath quickening in anticipation as I waited for his next command.
"Go to the center of the rug and kneel now, Ella," he said, his voice deep and authoritative, but with an unmistakable tight edge of barely contained restraint.
I hurried to obey, and dropped down onto my knees to sit back on my heels on the thick plush rug a mere moment later.
"Put your hands palms up on your thighs, spread your knees, and arch your back," he commanded. "I want to see all of you on display."
I did as he said, spreading my thighs and pushing my breasts forward for Calder, feeling wanton and exposed, the cool air of the room feeling good on my tight nipples and ever slickening sex.
"Good girl," he said in husky pleasure, the words making my pussy clench needily. Oh God, I liked those words of approval so much. "This is how I require my subs to present themselves to me."
I watched as he moved toward a nearby ebony valet stand by the door that I hadn't noticed before. He slipped his dark-blue suit jacket off and hung it on the stand. He turned to face me again and began unfastening his cufflinks in slow unhurried movements.
"Tonight, I'm not going to whip you, or bind you, or use a single toy," he said, and I couldn't deny the wave of disappointment that hit me. "Tonight, I'm going to show you what BDSM is really about, not just the give and take of pleasure," -he set his cufflinks on the valet stand, then began unbuttoning his shirt- "but the trust that goes both ways between a Dominant and his willing submissive," -my eyes drifted down as he bared his gloriously muscled chest- "and the true balance of power between a Dom and a sub."
He slipped his shirt from his powerful arms and draped it over his jacket, then strode toward me with measured purposeful steps. "For me, it's far more than just physical, so much more than a mere sexual release. It's a liberation, a deliverance from the cares and stress in my life and from my addiction, a salvation. It can be the same for you, Ella." He stopped a few feet in front of me, and I stared up at him in wonder, longing for what he promised. "Will you grant me your submission?" he asked, his voice soft and his eyes questioning.
That was when I knew the truth, when I realized where the power between a Dom and a sub truly lied. The power belonged to the sub, to me. It was my power to give, and mine to call back at any time. I trusted Calder with it completely, knew he'd take care of me, and never let me fall. My answer was easy, simple, and immediate. "Yes, sir," I whispered breathlessly.
Calder gave me a slow blink, a nod, and then a look of dark satisfaction. His hands moved down to unfasten his pants, and I watched with riveted attention as he freed his massive erection. I stared longingly at his cock's gorgeous broad head, the veins running along his thick length, and the pre-cum weeping from the tip. My mouth watered. He wrapped his hand firmly around himself and began taking slow leisurely strokes that completely mesmerized me.
"I'm going to fuck your pretty mouth now, Ella," Calder said in a low seductive tone that made my pussy clench. "You're going to take all of me, every fucking inch, my lovely."
"Yes, sir," I whimpered out wantonly, even though he hadn't asked me a question.
"I want you to keep your hands behind your back," he commanded. "If you touch me, I stop immediately." He reached out with his free hand to caress my cheek. "Do you understand?"
I looked up to see a bit of softness in his lust maddened eyes. He was giving me an out if I couldn't handle it, a way to stop if it was too much for me. See? He was already taking care of me, just like I knew he would.
Yes, sir," I whispered with a nod as I clasped my hands behind my back.
His face hardened back into the calm and controlled Dom again. His hand slid around to the back of my head and suddenly fisted in my hair as his eyes sparked blue fire. "Open for me now," he demanded fiercely as he stepped closer.
I obeyed, and Calder fed his cock to me. The sweet salty taste of him hit my tongue as he pushed past my lips and into my eager mouth spread wide to accept him. I breathed in his warm and irresistible masculine musk, and let out a long and appreciative blissful moan. I gnarled my fingers tightly together to keep from touching him. I didn't want him to stop, ever.
"Yes," he groaned out hoarsely as he pushed in deeper. "So hot, so soft, so fucking good."
His hand tightened in my hair as he pulled out halfway with a low moan. He thrust in with a deep growl, bumping against the back of my throat. He pulled back yet again, his other hand joining the other twisted in my hair before thrusting in even deeper as I pressed my swirling tongue up against the underside of his cock. His skin was soft like silk, his shaft rock fucking hard. It felt so good.
"Oh fuck, yes," he mumbled out helplessly before sucking in a harsh hissing breath. He pushed in deeper still, growling as he made me gag a little. "That's right, Ella. Take all of me."
He thrust faster, harder, a harsh masculine grunt punctuating each one as he fucked my mouth with abandon, swearing and snarling savagely. Saliva leaked from the corners of my mouth, dripping down my chin and soaking him as it eased his passage in and out of me. I felt claimed, wanted, and used in the very best way. Nothing else mattered. Nothing else meant a damn thing, but the way our bodies moved together toward ecstasy. I loved all of it, never wanted it to end, as I fought the urge to grab on to the backs of his thighs and hold on for dear life.
His body suddenly shuddered, his cock swelling even larger in my mouth. Yes. This was what I wanted, for him to lose control and come in my mouth. His fingers tightened painfully in my hair as he thrust fiercely into me once more, then cried out, his shout loud and bestial as his dick began jerking inside my mouth. Long jets of hot cum bathed the back of my throat as I hummed happily and swallowed down every drop of his salty goodness.
I looked up the length of his body and watched him tremble and convulse through his orgasm, his face slack and his eyes rolled back in his head as pleasure shivered through him. It was so beautiful, absolutely breathtaking, and all my doing. When he finally finished and pulled out of my mouth, he looked down at me with a dazed and stunned expression.
"Good girl, Ella," he said hoarsely as a slow satisfied smile spread across his full decadent lips.
I shivered, thinking I could almost come from his approval alone, and grinned broadly up at him, feeling smug with myself. He slid a hand from my hair and cupped my cheek in his big warm palm, gliding his thumb over my lips to wipe away a leftover drop of semen. I sucked his thumb into my mouth and licked it clean with an appreciative moan. His eyes flew wide and brightened, his cock already twitching with renewed interest.
"Oh, Ella," he groaned out deeply, his voice laced with desire as he grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up into his arms. He held me close, cradling my face against his chest. I could feel his heart pounding under my cheek. "Oh, baby," he added in a soft whisper.
Shit, he hadn't called me "baby" since before I left him, before I broke his heart and destroyed our love in the process. It made my heart sing and seem to flip around in my chest, but I couldn't read too much into it or let it mean anything. This was just a fling, a temporary insanity. He couldn't possibly ever want me again. I'd hurt him too badly for that. I blinked back tears of bitter disappointment, not wanting him to see them. I had to take this for what it was, and enjoy it for however long it lasted, before I was alone and miserable again.
He abruptly scooped me up in his arms, startling a squeak out of me, and thankfully distracting me from the depressing turn of my thoughts. The next thing I knew he was sitting on the edge of the bed and manhandling me across his lap face down on the mattress with my ass in the air. Oh God, it felt vulnerable and dirty. I liked it.
"You've been a bad girl, my lovely," he growled out seductively as his right palm glided over my ass. "You need punished for making me lose control like that. Don't you?"
Oh my God, he was going to spank me. The thought made my sex clench, and my hips wiggle unconsciously in his lap. I'd really liked it when he spanked me a few times the last time we had sex, and I wanted it again. I could feel his erection growing under me. Oh boy.
"Answer me, Ella," he demanded in a sharp admonishing tone.
"Yes, sir," I whimpered. "Please, sir."
"Mm," he growled. "Begging already?" His hand slid down to graze my pussy, and I shivered and moaned. "I like it. And so wet too? You are a bad girl, aren't you?"
"Yes, sir," I whispered.
He suddenly clutched my hair in a tight fist and stilled the hand on my ass. "You've earned each stroke, and you will hold still and count each one for me, my lovely," he told me fiercely, then added in a softer tone, "If you need to stop, you will tell me immediately. Understood?"
"Yes, Calder. Yes, sir," I whimpered out waveringly, my body trembling with desire now. I sounded desperate, and wanton, and nothing like the woman I usually was. Being dominated, my body and pleasure controlled like this, by him, was cathartic, freeing, and just what I needed to forget everything and just be in the moment, to just feel.
The first strike fell on my right cheek, jarring me with its stinging heat before he began rubbing it into warm pleasure.
"Count, Ella," he warned, "or you don't get to come."
"One!" I forced out breathlessly.
He spanked me twice more as I gasped out the number of each one, then he slid his fingers down to my sex. "You're completely soaked and so swollen, my lovely. You love being spanked, don't you?"
"Y...yes, sir," I replied plaintively. "More, sir."
He let out a darkly satisfied chuckle that had my sex throbbing, then began spanking me again, punctuating each one with a low growl of appreciation. It was all I could do to remember to count, desperate for him to let me come. My ass burned. My body quaked. I loved all of it, every exquisite sensation, every bite of pain, the sweet euphoria. It chased away my demons, calmed the raging storm of self-doubt in my head, and settled the constant heartache that sat heavy in my chest. I never wanted it to end, never wanted to come back to reality.
Finally, as I yelled out the twelfth stroke, he took mercy on me. He drilled two fingers deep into my aching pussy as he pressed his thumb directly onto my clit.
"Come, Ella," he demanded sharply, and my body flew apart, shattering and splintering as pure pleasure detonated out from my core. All coherent thought was swept away in its wake, all awareness beyond my release gone. When my senses finally managed to return again, I was being flipped onto my back to sprawl limply across the bed. A moment later, a now naked Calder was hovering over me, his massive erection nudging at my core as his eyes blazed with lust. Yes.
I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him to me as he thrust deeply into me with one fierce snap of his powerful hips. He pulled back and did it again, angling his hips and driving into me, hitting my G-spot with unerring accuracy and sending me soaring once more. I screamed, and Calder's mouth captured it, breathing it in as he kissed me and fucked me with a fierce possessiveness like I'd never felt from him before. I flailed around with my hands, clawing at his neck, his back, yanking at his hair. He snatched up my wrists and pushed them up above my head, bracketing them in place with one firm hand, still kissing me, still pounding into me. I lifted my hips to meet each thrust, wanting him deeper, closer, to meld into one with me.
His pace faltered. His breath caught. He groaned and arched up above me, then pressed in deep, shuddering all over as he exploded inside me, the feel of his cock swelling and jerking inside me setting off my own release.
"Ella!" he cried out. "Oh fuck, Ella!"
I screamed incoherently as my release wrecked me and sent me careening into utter mindless oblivion. I lost all sense of time, or place, or self. When I finally came back down I was curled up in Calder's lap as he sat on his throne, safe, secure, and my mind calm and serene for the first time in years. I became aware of his arms cradling me and his face nuzzling mine.
"I've got you, my lovely Ella," he murmured softly, so sweetly. "I've got you, baby."
His words as much as his gentle tone made my heart abruptly seize with longing, with hope, with love. Shit, I still loved Calder, had never stopped loving him for all these twelve long years, and with my realization came the certainty that he would never return that love again, not in a million years. I was hit with a harsh dose of reality, and my short-lived serenity winked out and disappeared.