CHAPTER
THIRTY-SIX
____________________
Ella
I gasped awake from my nightmare with a jolt, my heart pounding and my breathing ragged. I was left with the lingering afterimage of Ray's vile and terrifying face as he dragged a screaming Violet away from me, taking her down with him into a black void of nothingness. Tears pricked my eyes, and I let out a soft whimper as I thought of how close I'd come to that actually happening.
Calder, who was spooned behind me, instinctively sensed that I was in distress and mumbled my name in his sleep as he shifted closer. He threw a muscular arm over me, and placed his hand gently on Violet's shoulder where she was curled up against the front of my body with her head tucked under my chin. She murmured happily, sound asleep herself, and snuggled closer to me. I sighed contentedly and basked in the warm reassuring comfort of being sandwiched between the two most important people in my life.
We were all at Calder's house, where he had taken us at Violet's almost hysterical insistence, after Scott dropped us off at my brother's house. We went in just long enough to pack some clean clothes, then drove here. I think she was afraid to stay there, since that was where Ray had tricked her and taken her from.
We were all filthy when we arrived, so Calder had sent us up to his luxurious bathroom where I helped an exhausted Violet take a bath, and I took a quick shower. When we emerged, Calder was already clean himself, having used the shower in one of his guest bathrooms, and was wearing a T-shirt and lounge pants. He'd scooped up Violet, who was so tired that she was swaying on her feet in her favorite purple pajamas, and tucked her into his king-sized bed without a word. Then he did the same to me, plopping me down in the center of the mattress, before crawling into bed beside me and pulling the comforter over all of us. He told me he loved me as he pulled me close, and not long after that we all drifted off to sleep.
Now that I was awake though, my mind couldn't help but go back to the earlier events in the abandoned building. I'd known for a long time that Ray was a monster, but I never really understood the true extent of it until tonight when he threatened and tried to harm his own daughter. Seeing him unhinged like that when he grabbed her and shook her had awakened something dark and primal inside me. I'd reacted ferociously and without thinking to protect Violet when I attacked him. I'd stopped him from hurting her, but he would have killed me if it weren't for Calder and Scott. Part of me wondered if that was Ray's plan all along. I shuddered to think of Violet being taken away by that madman after watching him kill her own mother.
As it was, the bullet Ray fired at me had hit Scott when he leaped in front of me. I'd felt sick when Scott took off his Kevlar vest and lifted his shirt to look at it, and gave me an unintended glimpse of the small dark purple circle on the side of his chest where the bullet had struck him. It looked so painful, but he'd merely shrugged when he caught me watching him with a horrified expression. He'd been willing to sacrifice himself for someone he barely knew, but was important to his best friend. I'd be grateful to him forever.
Calder was the one I was grateful to the most though. He'd rushed to subdue Ray without a thought to his own safety and wrested the gun away from him. He'd risked his life when he leaped to save Violet from falling through the floor with her father, and almost fell right along with her. It was a completely selfless act that I highly doubted Ray would have ever done for his own child, let alone someone else's. Calder wasn't lying when he told me Violet was ours. His actions told me exactly how much he loved that child, and I loved him all the more for it. He would be the father figure Violet deserved and should have had all along.
When Ray tried to take Violet down with him, I'd reacted just as instinctively when I pepper sprayed his face to get him to let her go. Nobody fucked with my baby. According to Scott, Ray had fallen through two floors on his way down and died immediately. I took his word for it and didn't look. I didn't want or need that image in my head, but I couldn't manage to feel any guilt over the part I played in Ray's death. I was glad he was gone because my baby and I were safe now.
Scott had ushered us out of the building not long after Ray fell through the floor, and took us home, assuring us that he'd go back and clean up any sign of our presence there so nothing could be traced to us. I hoped never to have to deal with anything to do with Ray again, but I knew the memories and emotional scars he'd left on me, and my daughter would linger. Only time would tell if we could heal, but I felt hopeful that with time, and with Calder there for us too, that we'd eventually be okay.
However, right now I wasn't okay. Now that the shock was wearing off, the emotional roller coaster of the day finally caught up with me and overwhelmed me. Tears started streaming from my eyes, and even though I trembled with the effort to fight it, I began sobbing quietly. I cried equally from the happy relief that we were safe, and from the guilt and despair that still lingered from my painful past.
"Ella?" Calder's sleepy voice whispered, his breath ghosting sweetly against my neck. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked gently as his arm tightened around me.
"No," I hiccuped out softly, not wanting to wake Violet and worry her. My chest hurt with the effort to keep from wailing.
"What's wrong?" he whispered worriedly.
"Nothing," I whimpered out. "Everything," I said, immediately contradicting myself. "I...I don't know," I added pathetically, then continued weeping uncontrollably.
The next thing I knew, Calder was climbing out of the bed and lifting me up into his arms. I glanced at Violet to see that she was still sound asleep, unfazed by the shifting of the mattress underneath her as Calder carried me out of his room. Halfway down the hallway, I had the presence of mind to question where we were going.
"I'm going to take care of you, my lovely," he replied in his deep sonorous voice. "I'm going to make you forget and just feel." His tone was sensual and made me shiver in eager anticipation.
This man knew exactly what I needed. I sighed and curled closer to him, feeling calmer already, and didn't say another word as he carried me downstairs to the playroom.
Upon entering the room, Calder set me on my feet and locked the door. Without being told, I immediately walked over to the upholstered bench at the foot of the bed and began pulling off my clothes. I folded them all neatly and placed them on the bench. I went to the middle of the room and knelt on the soft rug to wait with my head bowed respectfully. I arched my back and spread my thighs for him, then focused on breathing in and out slowly until I finally began to feel calm and centered. The whole time I could feel Calder's steady presence as he watched me from where he stood near the door.
"Good girl," he rumbled out with approval in a low and sexy tone that made my nipples tighten, and my clit begin to throb.
I glanced up to see that he'd already removed his shirt and was gliding sinuously toward me with heat in his crystalline blue eyes. He was beautiful, breathtakingly masculine with his tawny skin stretched over his massive bare upper body. He was all man, all mine. He stopped right in front of me, and my eyes couldn't help but stare at the mouthwatering bulge in his black lounge pants. He leaned down and cupped my face in one hand. I met his eyes and saw equal parts love and lust in them as he gazed intently at me.
"My lovely Ella," he said warmly with a sexy edge still oozing through his tone. "Let me show you the pleasure in the pain I can give you, the release in surrendering everything to your master, and the love I feel in your trust in me."
I felt my eyes well up as I smiled up at him. "Yes, Master," I answered, my voice wavering with emotion.
He smiled back at me with love and passion brimming in his gorgeous eyes for a moment. Then his expression turned fierce and commanding as he straightened and eyed me sternly. He abruptly snapped his fingers. "Up now."
I obeyed and stood as I watched him go to the dresser that sat against one wall. He pulled open the top drawer to take something out, then turned and showed me the hair tie in his hand as he returned to me. He came up behind me and gathered my hair up on the top of my head. I sighed, his fingers feeling so good sifting through my hair as he secured it with the tie. Then he took my hand and led me across the room straight toward a tall wooden post standing near one corner. The whipping post. Cuffs were already dangling on short chains from a large metal ring at the top. Oh shit. I stumbled to a halt as fear and excitement warred each other disconcertingly inside my head at the thought of being restrained and whipped on that thing.
Calder turned back, cocking one dark expressive brow as he studied me intently. "Your safeword is red, Ella," he said calmly. "Do you need to use it?"
"N...no, Master," I stuttered out. "I'm...I'm just..." I trailed off, unsure what I was feeling.
"Scared?" he asked gently. "Excited?" His mouth twisted into a sexy smirk. "Turned on?" he added in a darker deeper tone.
"Yes, Master," I replied with a nod of relief that he understood, even if I didn't understand it completely myself.
"That's normal, my lovely," he said soothingly as he stepped closer to me. "And you like it, don't you?" he asked with an amused gleam in his eyes.
"Yes, Master."
He put his lips next to my ear. "And so do I," he murmured seductively.
I shivered and let out a soft moan, the excitement and lust starting to eclipse the fear. Calder stepped back with a satisfied expression, then gave my hand a little tug. I followed as my hesitation began to fade away. He led me to the post, and I stepped onto its large wooden base. That was when I noticed two metal rings at the bottom of the post itself and two more attached to the base spaced several feet apart. I imagined they were for restraining my legs.
"Put your back to the post, then raise your arms and spread your legs, my lovely," Calder commanded firmly. The thought of my pussy open and vulnerable to him like that was unbelievably arousing, and I obeyed immediately.
He stepped up close to me and reached up to begin placing the cuffs around my wrists. His bare chest brushed up against my already pebbled nipples, sending jolts of electric pleasure zinging down to my clit that had me moaning softly in response. From the smirk on his face, I knew he'd done it on purpose. He took a step back, leaving my arms stretched high above my head, and stared unabashedly at my breasts.
"You're so beautiful, Ella," he murmured. "So perfect." He met my eyes, and I could see his absolute sincerity. "I love your body, every inch of it."
I almost started crying again. I'd gone so long without feeling attractive and wanted, twelve long years. It felt so good to feel that way again with Calder. His hands came to rest on my hips as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to my right nipple, then nuzzled it with his nose. His tongue flicked out to glide over the tight little bud. Another zing went straight to my clit. I moaned in happy appreciation. He lifted his hands to cup both my breasts as he latched his lips around my nipple and sucked on it with long hard pulls. His hands squeezed and kneaded my tender flesh so sweetly. I arched my back and moaned even louder as I pushed my breasts out toward him, wanting more.
Calder growled low in his throat, then switched nipples, his thumb now working the one his mouth had abandoned as he suckled the other. Pleasure spiked and shuddered through me. My God, this man was incredible, and we'd barely just begun our play tonight.
He lowered himself to his knees, leaving my breasts bereft and tingling, and began kissing my belly. His soft lips moved over my faint stretch marks and the little bulge I still had from having Violet. They were things Ray had always pointed out with disgust, but not Calder. He worshiped them with low masculine noises of appreciation as he watched me with lust lighting up his eyes with bright blue fire. He wanted me, all of me, just the way I was, and that truth turned me on like nothing ever had before. I closed my eyes and basked in his adoration as he kissed his way down my body.
He breathed in deeply. "I can smell how much you want me," he murmured against my skin as his mouth paused just above my mound. "It smells so good."
I felt his fingers glide over my folds and gently pull them apart. I shivered and looked down to see him staring intently at the slick wetness between my legs.
"So pink, so pretty," he whispered in a low rasp. "Need to taste you." His steely eyes shot up to capture mine. "Don't you dare come until I say," he commanded in a forbidding tone that I didn't dare to disobey.
"Yes, Master," I answered, not certain if I could do what he said, but determined to do my best to please him.
He let out a deep masculine growl as he closed his eyes with a rapturous expression, then buried his face between my thighs. He wasn't gentle, didn't ease me into it at all, just began devouring me. He licked and sucked and nipped at my clit like a starving desperate man, his short goatee rasping roughly against the sensitive skin of my inner thighs. Calder's tongue and lips had an orgasm rising up inside me almost immediately, and I whimpered as I tried to fight it.
Just as I was about to lose the battle, he released my swollen and aching little nub from between his lips. However, before I could even breath a sigh of relief, he shoved his tongue inside me. He began fucking me with it and took me right to the edge again, and I cried out with the effort to keep myself from tumbling over. He pulled back just in time, and looked up at me with my juices glistening around his mouth and on his chin.
"Come now, my lovely," he said hoarsely, then pressed his thumb on my clit with skillful precision.
My body instantly obeyed without a thought as sweet fire ignited through every nerve inside me. My back arched and I pulled against my restraints as I screamed out my pleasure. His mouth landed on mine while I came, swallowing down my cries and letting me taste myself on his lips. I could barely breath as my release continued ripping through me. When I finally came back down, he was staring at me with dark satisfaction gleaming in his eyes as he wiped a thumb caressingly across my wet lips.
"That's my good girl," he murmured softly.
He immediately turned and walked away, heading straight for his rack of whips and paddles along one wall. He reached out and grabbed a vicious looking black braided whip. It was about four feet long with a little tassel on the tip. He held it between his hands and sauntered back toward me with a dark gleam in his eyes.
"This is a single-tail signal whip, my lovely," Calder explained as he stopped a few yards away. He held up the tasseled end for me to see. "This is the cracker. It gives the whip its distinctive sound."
Suddenly, the whip whistled through the air as his right arm flew up and jerked back down sharply. There was a loud crack, and I flinched in startled surprise, making the chains attached to my wrist cuffs rattle. And the fear was back full force. I whimpered, and my breathing turned harsh and erratic.
"Yellow," I called out breathlessly.
Calder instantly dropped the whip and rushed over to me. He cupped my face in his hands, his big warm palms comforting and reassuring.
"Shh, my lovely," he said soothingly. "Do you need me to uncuff you?"
I shook my head. "No, but I'm scared of that thing." I nodded toward the whip on the floor.
"Ella," he said calmly. "I'm very skilled with a whip, and I'm not being arrogant when I say that. It's a fact. I even taught classes on how to use them to novice Doms at Désir Dangereux before I bought the place and no longer had the time. I've been wielding whips for many years, and I know how to use one so it will feel good, my lovely."
"How would you know if it feels good or not?" I asked with a petulant frown, still feeling unsure about it.
His eyes focused into sharp penetrating lasers of dark intensity. "I know exactly how a whip feels on the skin," he replied firmly and with certainty, his displeasure in my insolence glittering in his gaze.
"You do?" I asked as I stared at him wide-eyed incredulity.
"You didn't think I just dished all this out without knowing how to take it myself did you?" he asked with an arched brow.
My mouth was hanging open in stunned silence now.
"A good Dom doesn't use any flagellation tool, unless he knows what it feels like firsthand." He turned slightly and waved a hand toward his rack of whips and paddles. "Everything I use on a sub, I've had used on me first."
"You...you did?" I asked. "By who?"
"More experienced Doms," he replied. "I've even bottomed a few times with some of the female Dommes too."
"Oh," I said sheepishly as I blinked in surprise. I had a hard time imagining Calder letting himself be restrained like I was right now, or letting someone whip him. I guess he had to learn somehow, even if I couldn't wrap my head around it.
"So you see, my lovely," he said with a slight smirk, "you're in safe and experienced hands. I know how to whip someone with as little or as much pain as they can accept, and without causing permanent harm." He cradled my face in his hands again and gave me a tender expression. "But if you don't think you're ready for this, then that's okay too."
"No," I immediately answered. "I...I want to do it."
"Are you sure?" he asked carefully.
I nodded. "I trust you, Cal," I said with newfound certainty. "I know you'll take care of me."
"Always," he whispered with a soft smile. He pressed a brief gentle kiss to my lips. Then he straightened with a deep breath and focused on me with a hard expression. "Now turn around."
I obeyed and twisted around until the post ran down the center of my torsos, my skin pressed against the cool smooth wood. The next thing I knew Calder told me to spread my legs again, and was placing two more cuffs on my ankles and attaching them to the widest set of metal rings on the whipping post's wooden base. Then he stood and pressed himself against my back, and kissed the side of my neck.
"You may cry out as much as you want," he said, "but I need you to hold still, and you will safeword immediately if you need to. Is that understood, my lovely?"
"Yes, Master," I panted out, as my heart pounded in fear-tinged anticipation.
"Good girl," he whispered, then stepped away. "We'll start out slow, and ease you into it."
The whistling sound of the whip moving through the air began behind me, and I tensed for the first strike.
"Let's get you used to the sound first, my lovely," Calder said in a soothing voice.
The whip cracked loudly, and I jumped even though nothing had touched me. He cracked it yet again and then repeatedly until I'd finally gotten used to it enough to relax a little.
"Hold still, my lovely," he called out warningly. "Here comes the first strike."
The whip flew through the air again. Whoosh, whoosh, CRACK. Heat suddenly licked across my right ass cheek, and I squeaked in surprise as my body jerked in shock. The point of contact began to burn sharply an instant later, then unbelievably morphed into a throbbing warmth that echoed the ache that had begun between my thighs. Oh my God. I moaned uncontrollably.
"Good, my lovely?" Calder asked, his voice deep and seductive. "Are you still green?"
"Y...yes, Master," I whimpered out breathlessly.
Whoosh, whoosh, CRACK. The whip struck my left cheek this time with the same licking heat of pain, the same throb of desire. It was even better the second time. He struck each cheek once more, each one better than the last. Desire ached through my entire body now, making me tremble with it. What was happening to me? How was this even possible?
"Oh God," I cried out aloud without even meaning to.
Calder chuckled darkly behind me. "No, I'm just your master," he said in obvious amusement. "You're a natural Ella. I knew you would be. Let's see how much more you can take before I fuck you, shall we?"
I nodded jerkily in response.
"Use your words," he reminded me sternly.
"Yes, Master," I managed to force out in a hoarse voice. "Please, Master."
The whip flew and the strikes came faster now, peppering across my ass and my upper back. He began varying the intensity, building up from the easy ones to almost blistering ones that had me up on my toes and arching my spine as I cried out, and then back down again so I could catch my breath.
Make no mistake, each blow hurt, but the pleasure that followed was of an equal intensity that made them all worth it. I began to feel like I was floating up and away from my body as euphoric bliss fell over me, muting the pain and magnifying the pleasure. Nothing else mattered or existed beyond Calder, myself, and the whip that inexplicably connected us together. It was wondrously freeing and liberating, and I never wanted it to end. He wasn't kidding when he said he was skilled with a whip.
When Calder finally stopped, I was left bereft and crying out for more as I practically hung from the cuffs above my head.
"No, my lovely Ella," he whispered harshly in my ear, his breathing heavy from exertion, and I suspected from lust too. "You've had enough of my whip, but you've earned something else now, something I think you'll love even more."
He pressed the front of his body against my now hypersensitive skin, making me gasp and moan in glorious pain. I was barely aware of him uncuffing me from the post and scooping me up as I fell into his arms. The next thing I knew I was lying on the bed with his now nude body hovering over me. He pushed my legs apart with a knee and settled his hips between my thighs with his cock poised at the entrance to my core.
"Ella," he moaned as he began pressing into my wet heat, piercing me with little resistance. "Ella. Oh God. Oh fuck." His voice was laden with lust and laced with deep affection. When he reached the end of me, he stilled and let out a deep groan. "Ella."
I whimpered and mewled unintelligibly as I writhed underneath him. He felt so good inside me, made me feel so full, so complete physically and emotionally. I forced my eyes open and saw raw emotion in his eyes that was equal parts lust and love. I reached up and latched my fingers into his thick hair, and wrapped my legs around his waist. I pulled him down closer to me, needing to feel more of him.
He dropped to his forearms and buried his hands in my hair with a fierce snarl, then began kissing me. Yes. His hips began to move, his cock thrusting in and out in time with the deep sweeps of his tongue in my mouth as he fed on me. I felt completely owned yet unfettered, consumed yet still abidingly loved and cherished. An orgasm struck me at that thought.
"I love you, Cal!" I cried out as my release lifted me up and swept me away on a tide of sweet pleasure. "Oh God, I love you!"
"I love you too," he moaned out deeply. "I'll always love you, Ella. You'll always be mine." He growled out that last word with fierce conviction.
Another release came right on the heels of the first, making my back arch and my insides clench tight around Calder. I wailed out my ecstasy as he followed after me, shouting my name and convulsing above me as his cock jerked inside me, filling me with his seed, his very essence. We were truly one.
I was still in a post-coital stupor when he finally pulled out of me. I was vaguely aware of him rolling me onto my stomach and massaging some kind of lotion into my sore skin while murmuring sweet words of love and affection to me. Then he held me close and cuddled me for I don't how long, before helping me back into my pajamas. He picked me up and carried me out of the playroom with my head lulling drowsily against his shoulder.
The next thing I knew he was tucking me back into bed beside a still sleeping Violet, and crawling in on my other side. I turned toward him and snuggled in close to his big warm body with my head on his shoulder and a hand resting over his steadily beating heart. Then I drifted off into a deep and peaceful sleep, knowing that I was exactly where I belonged and wanted to be, in the arms of the only man I'd ever loved.