~ Clay

Maybe I shouldn’t have done that, I tell myself as I sit on the couch in the dark living room, running my hands through my hair. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed Andrea away now that she’s finally making her move.

The problem is I saw the fear in her eyes. I felt her hesitation. She could still turn and bolt. And I don’t want that.

I agreed to marry her, thinking I just want to keep her close. But now, I know I want it all. I want all or nothing.

I want Andrea to throw herself into my arms, to kiss me. I want her to truly let go, of the pain of the past, of her fears, of herself. If Andrea can’t give me all of her, just as I’m prepared to do, then it’s better that I have nothing.

That’s what I thought, what I’ve been thinking. Now, though, I wonder if maybe I should have just taken what I could get and not hoped for too much. Maybe I should have just kissed her because fuck, I wanted to.

I shake my head.

No. I’m done getting bits and pieces of her. I want her past, her present, her future, everything.

Let it all be real or let it all be fake, no middle ground. Because that’s the only way one can move on. That’s the only way to love and to live.

Suddenly, the door opens and Andrea enters, panting.

I sit up, looking at her in surprise. What is she doing here? Didn’t she go back to the pool? Or is she going to go to bed and cry?

She doesn’t do that, though, standing in front of me, her quivering shoulders squared, her shaking hands rolled into fists, her eyes glimmering with tears she’s trying to hold back.

“Andrea?”

“I’m not going to run away anymore,” she tells me, meeting my gaze. “That doesn’t mean I’m not scared. I still am. That doesn’t mean I’m ready. I’m not sure I am. That doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten what you’ve done. I never will. But I’m done running away.”

A lump forms in my throat, my chest growing tight.

“You’re right. I’ve been running away. I’ve been running away since you left me. I couldn’t run after you so I ran away. But no more. I’m taking my life back, the life that stopped when I found out you were gone. I’m taking myself back, the me that vanished when you left. I’m taking back my courage, my joy. I’m taking my heart back.” She leans forward, placing a hand on my chest. “I’m taking you back.”

She kisses me, her hands cupping my face as she presses her lips to mine.

For a moment, my body won’t move. Is this really happening? I’m not dreaming, am I? Andrea’s not drunk, is she? This is her, isn’t it?

Yes, it is her. I know this scent, too well, the touch of her hands, the softness of her lips.

Finally, the only girl I’ve ever loved has come around.

I grab her hips, pulling her on my lap as I kiss her back with all the pent-up passion of thirteen years. My fingers lost in her damp hair, I crush her mouth over and over again with mine and then part her lips, pushing my tongue in to taste hers.

Fuck. I’ve waited for this for so long.

I reach for the sash of her robe, untying it so that I can push her robe off. Then I break the kiss, pushing her off my lap so that she’s standing in front of me again, this time in her yellow bikini.

“What?” she asks, breathless.

“You said I wasn’t looking at you. Well, now, I’m looking.”

And boy, do I like what I see. Her top may be concealing her breasts and the other piece covering between her legs but I can see everything else – her slender shoulders, her slim waist, the gentle curve of her belly, her creamy thighs.

I want to see more.

I pull the ribbon in the middle of her top and the strip of fabric comes off, her breasts, round and firm and plump, bouncing free, her nipples rosy and stiff.

Perfect.

“You’re looking too much,” Andrea says, folding her arms over her breasts.

I push them aside as I get on my feet. “Only because you’re so beautiful I can’t take my eyes off you.”

I pull her close to me once more, my arm around her back and the other behind her head as I kiss her again. At the feel of her body in my arms, of her breasts against my chest, heat stirs in my groin, spilling over the rest of my body.

Fuck. At this rate, I’m not going to last long. And I want to.

Calm down, you horny bastard.

Right now, it’s not about my pleasure. It’s about Andrea’s and I give her as much of it as I can, kissing her silly, caressing her scalp and her back, squeezing her breasts and rubbing her nipples.

She gasps and moans into my mouth, the sounds rippling through me. Each time she shudders in my arms, I feel at the brink of losing control, but I hold on, taking pleasure from giving her pleasure.

Somehow, we start moving from the living room to the bedroom, kissing and running our hands over each other’s bodies almost every step of the way. We end up on the bed and there, I remove her last piece of clothing, now wetter than before, tossing it aside.

Afterwards, I claim her mouth again then move my lips to her ear, to her neck then to her breasts. I take one ripe breast inside my mouth, sucking on it.

“Clay.”

The sound of my name on her lips, a breathless whisper and a plea, sends my cock throbbing inside the swimming trunks I still have on.

Fuck.

As I suck on her other breast, I slip my hand between her legs and as my fingers brush against her curls, she stiffens.

“Shh,” I tell her, stroking her. “It’s alright.”

I can still sense her fear. I know she’s still holding back, fighting me, but as I continue stroking her, she relaxes and when I slip a finger in, she clings to me.

“Oh, God.”

I keep moving my finger, soon adding another. Andrea moans beneath me, shivering, her arms wrapped around me.

“Clay.”

What is she pleading for this time? For me to move faster? Or does she want me to stop?

Then I feel her hand on the bulge in my trunks and I understand, grunting as her fingers wrap around me.

Fuck.

I almost came then and there.

“It’s unfair,” Andrea says, pushing my arm away before getting up and switching our positions. “You’re still clothed.”

But not for long. Quickly, she remedies the situation, pulling off my trunks. Then she pauses, her eyes wide as she stares at me.

“Now, is everything fair?” I ask her, propping myself up on my elbows. “It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.”

She blushes at the memory but if she ran away before, she’s not running away now. Instead, she reaches out to wrap her fingers around me once more and I lay back, shuddering as my cock throbs in response.

“Andrea.”

It’s not a plea but a warning. As much as I love the feel of her hand on my cock, I’m not going to last another minute if she keeps stroking it and I’d rather have something else wrapped around me for now.

She stops and I get up, reclaiming the top position and pushing her back down. I kiss her again, settling between her legs.

“Ready?” I ask her, my heart racing.

She nods.

I smile at her. “You say you’re taking me back but the truth is I’ve always been yours.”

I push in slowly and she claws at the sheets as she throws her head back, eyes squeezed shut.

“God!”

As I begin moving, I keep my eyes on her face, engraving each feature into memory – her swollen, parted lips that are constantly letting out gasps and moans, her eyes that she can barely keep open, the damp tendrils of her hair clinging to her flushed cheeks.

Beautiful.

I move faster, grunting at her exquisite softness, at the delicious heat engulfing me, becoming even hotter and wetter.

“Clay!”

She cries out my name as her back arches and her body quakes, her hands like vice grips on my arms. And just like that, I, too, am lost.

After a few more erratic thrusts, I finally let go, burying myself deep inside her, exploding there. Then I collapse on top of her, panting.

God, that was even more amazing than I ever imagined.

For a while – I don’t know how long – I just lie there on top of Andrea, both of us catching our breaths in the silence and darkness of the bedroom, then realizing I must be heavy, I move to her side, pulling her close, stroking her hair as she rests her head on the crook of my shoulder.

“Are you alright?” I ask her.

“Yes,” she answers.

“Good.” I plant a kiss on her hair. “I promise I won’t waste this second chance you’ve given me.”

She looks at me. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to give it. And it’s not just you I’m giving a second chance. I’m giving myself one, too.”

“Well, let’s hope we won’t need any more chances,” I tell her. “Let’s hope this one will last.”

“Let’s hope so,” Andrea agrees. “We’re married now, after all.”

I smile. Yes, we are. And it’s not just pretend anymore. It’s real.

This is real.

I take her hand, kissing the wedding ring she has on it. “I can’t believe I have such a hot wife.”

“And I can’t believe I have such a hot husband.”

I grin. “What a fine pair we make.”

She chuckles. “Do you think our friends from high school would be thrilled if they found out?”

“They’d be envious,” I say. “We should definitely go to our next reunion.”

“We should. In the meantime, though, we should think of something to do for our honeymoon. After all, it’s almost over.”

I frown. “It is?”

Andrea props herself up on an elbow. “What do you say we try that submarine tomorrow and then maybe try surfing together?”

“Sounds great.”

“And then in the afternoon, we can watch the sunset together and then go on a dinner cruise?”

“Seems like you’ve got everything planned out.”

“Well, I did have time to think.” She snuggles against me. “Just leave everything to me.”