~ Clay

“I know this is tough, Clay,” Gavin says as he sits in front of my desk. “Which is why I think it’s best if you take some time off work so you can be around Rose at this crucial time.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” I sit back in my chair. “I’ve already considered it and I do agree that it’s best. I just have a hard time digesting the idea of leaving something I’m good at to do something I have no clue about.”

“But you’ll do it, won’t you? John would want you to.”

I know. He left the company to take care of Rose. No doubt he would want me to do the same. I sigh. I’ve always known John was a good man but lately, I’ve been thinking how exceptional he was.

“Besides, it would look good for the judge when he hears the adoption case a few weeks from now.”

That’s Gavin – a lawyer first and foremost. Then again, I suppose that’s what makes him a hell of a lawyer.

“Your concern is touching,” I tell him.

“I just hate to lose, even if it’s just an adoption case.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t ruin your perfect record,” I assure him. “And I will take some time off work, as soon as I’ve tested the latest programs and assigned the latest projects.”

“Good.” He touches his chin. “You know, this may actually be good for you, since you’ve been working too hard and all.”

“I have not.”

“When was the last time you had a vacation?”

I don’t answer.

“I rest my case.” He sits back in his chair and crosses his legs. “How’s Rose?”

“Not well.” I put my hands in my pockets and walk to the window. “Then again, has she ever been well? How can she be my daughter when she looks at me like I’m a villain?”

“Well, I’m sure she’ll warm up to you eventually. How’s Andrea?”

“Doing her job.”

Frankly, she’s the one I’m hoping will warm up to me eventually.

“You never told me about her,” Gavin says.

I shrug. “What’s to tell?”

“You can’t fool me, Clay. I’m a lawyer.”

“Don’t I know it?”

“I’ve seen the way you look at her.”

I turn to face him. “And what way is that?”

“Like you want to fuck her but you want to take your time doing it,” he answers. “And not just once.”

Damn.

“Well, how do you plea?”

“I feel like you’ve already reached a verdict.”

“Guilty. So, are you going to do something about it?”

I sit on the couch. “Can we just talk about what you’ve found out about Rose’s mother?”

He sits beside me. “Her name is Karen Wilkes. She died after giving birth to Rose. Her body was already weak by then and it gave in.”

“Where did John meet her? How long was she addicted to heroin?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t found that out yet.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Oh, so basically, you haven’t found out anything.”

“We know her name.”

“A lot of good that’s going to do me.” I sit back. “Fuck, Gavin. You’re supposed to be helping me.”

“And you’re supposed to calm down,” Gavin says. “Losing your temper isn’t going to help.”

“Sorry.” I rub my forehead. “I guess I’m just overwhelmed by everything.”

“Maybe you should go home and rest. Didn’t I tell you to get some sleep? John wouldn’t want you to get sick, you know.”

I look at him. “Do you know that sometimes you sound like my mother and not my lawyer?”

He chuckles.

“Anyway, the reason I didn’t sleep well last night isn’t because of John.”

It’s because of Andrea. I just can’t stop thinking about her, about how right she felt in my arms, about how soft her breasts felt against my chest, about how sweet she smelled and how brown her eyes were as they gazed into mine. I’ve never wanted a woman this much, which makes it even more frustrating that I can’t have her. I may have broken the ice but she’s put up a wall and now, she doesn’t even want to see me hard. As if it was my choice to get hard. Fuck, all she has to do is look at me and I feel heat stirring in my veins.

She’s going to drive me mad.

“Andrea’s giving you a hard time, huh?”

I sigh. “You can say that again.”

“You know, if I were you, I’d try to win her back as a friend first, maybe talk about the old days.”

“I don’t want to talk about the old days.”

“But I’m sure she does. Besides, that’s where everything started so as bad as they were, there must have been some good in them, too.”

I have to admit Gavin’s right. Isn’t he always?

“Why don’t you buy her something that she used to like?”

I pause, trying to think of that. What did Andrea like?

---

“I can’t believe you still remember that I like cola-flavored gummy candies,” Andrea says as she pops one inside her mouth while leaning over the railing of the gazebo in the garden.

“And I can’t believe you still like them.” I place my hands on the balustrade. “Why don’t you just drink cola?”

“Not the same thing,” she says. “Besides, cola is too acidic.”

“You know what else I remember?” I look at the garden. “All those walks we used to take in the park.”

She falls silent, a miniature, golden cola bottle slipping from between her fingers just before they touch her lips.

Fuck. I shouldn’t have brought the past up.

But it’s too late. I’ve already ruined the atmosphere.

“Why don’t you just give this to Rose?” She shoves the bag of candies at me. “I forgot I’m not supposed to eat too many sweets. Besides, these aren’t as good as they used to be.”

I want to apologize to her but something tells me that will only make things worse.

“You give them to her,” I tell her quickly instead as I turn around to rest my elbows on the balustrade. “Maybe it will help the two of you become friends.”

She says nothing.

I exhale. “I guess Rose isn’t going to John’s funeral.”

“When is that again?”

“Day after tomorrow.”

She takes back the candy bag. “No. I don’t think she will. I know she should overcome her fear but I think it’s too soon. Besides, the pain of losing her father is too fresh. Who knows how she’ll react at the funeral?”

I nod. “I understand.”

“Believe me, I’ve thought about letting her go to the funeral. I’ve imagined her there. I want her to be able to say goodbye. But then, even if she’s there, I doubt she’ll be able to. She’s just not ready. She’s not at that stage yet.”

“Andrea.” I touch her hand. “You don’t have to explain anything. If you say she shouldn’t go, then she won’t. It’s that simple. You’re the expert here and I trust you completely.”

She pulls her hand away, quiet again.

I place my hands in my pockets. “You can come to the funeral, though. Who knows? You might be able to learn something that could help you get closer to Rose.”

That’s just an excuse, of course. I just want to spend more time with her, to have her by my side.

For a moment, Andrea remains silent. Then she nods.

“Alright. I guess Hariett can look after Rose for a while. She’s the only one Rose trusts, anyway.”

“Rose will be fine,” I assure her. “So, do you have something black to wear?”