Chapter Nineteen
“What do you mean, BB’s already gone to pick them up?” HW asked as he walked into the ranch kitchen, where the family was about to start dinner.
Chase’s eyebrows rose. “BB was at the Marine base near Bridgeport, so he said he’d go by the hospital. What’s the problem?”
HW sank down onto his seat and shoved a hand through his hair. “Nothing. I just . . .”
“Wanted to see if Sam was okay?” Ruth handed him a plate. “She’s fine. She sent Jenna a text.”
“Great.” HW took a massive spoonful of beef stew and dumped mashed potatoes on top of it. She hadn’t texted him at all.
“I said I’d go sleep down in the cabin with her tonight,” Rachel piped up. “Just in case she needs anything.”
“That’s kind of you, dear,” Ruth said. “Roy’s going to stay here for a couple of nights, so I can keep an eye on him. He broke his ankle and has a mild concussion. They said he must have the hardest head in the universe, which doesn’t surprise me at all.”
Ruth helped herself to the stew. “I talked to him on the phone and he sounded remarkably chirpy.” She paused to put her napkin on her knee. “He said Sam wasn’t feeling too good on the ride to the hospital.”
HW snorted. “Yeah, and she was the one trying to pretend there was nothing wrong.”
“Roy said she was just terrified of the whole situation, like she was having flashbacks or something.”
HW’s appetite disappeared and he put down his fork. “Crap. I didn’t think of that.”
Ruth smacked his hand. “No cursing at the table. And why are you surprised? The last time she got sent to a hospital she ended up losing her foot.”
“I know, but . . .” He couldn’t even finish his sentence. Hadn’t he learned by now that when Sam was upset she either laughed it off or picked a fight with him? This time she’d been so scared she’d barely been able to find something to fight about.
“I need to talk to her.”
“They’ll be back in about half an hour.” Chase checked his cell phone and gave HW a wry look. “If Sam wants to talk to you, I’m sure she’ll let you know.”
* * *
HW paced the restored deck of the house, wishing he had a cigarette to while away the minutes and relax him. He hadn’t wanted to sit at the table and make nice with everyone. A flash of lights as BB’s truck turned into the circular drive had him moving swiftly down the steps.
BB lowered his window and grinned at HW.
“Hey. Give me a hand getting the cantankerous old coot into the house, won’t you?”
“Sure.”
HW walked around to the back of the truck and waited until BB opened the door. He could just see Sam, her face a blur in the dark interior, as he helped BB extract Roy, who was cursing like a sailor.
They carried Roy up to the house and into the parlor, where Ruth had made a bed for him. Leaving him to Ruth’s tender mercies, they returned to the truck only to find that both Jenna and Sam had already disappeared.
“Jenna must have walked down with her. I was going to drive her around, but Sam said she needed to stretch her leg.” BB shrugged as he closed the doors. “I’ll go check.”
“I’ll go.” Even as he spoke, HW was already on his way.
“Shall I send Rachel down?” BB called out to him.
“How about you wait and see how things go first?”
BB’s answer was a snort of laughter, which didn’t inspire confidence.
Halfway down the path, he met Jenna coming back. She smiled at him and paused to chat.
“Sam’s doing okay. She’s just tired.”
“Thanks. I’ll just . . .” He waved a vague hand in the direction of Sam’s cabin. “Check how she’s doing.”
“You go ahead, but I’ll warn you, she’s in an extremely bad mood.”
“What’s new?” HW murmured as he continued on his way. The chance of her mood getting even worse when she clapped eyes on him was high, but he wasn’t deterred. Sam was about the only person in the world he enjoyed fighting with.
He knocked on her door. “Hey, Sam? It’s HW; can I come in?”
“If you must.”
He went to find her sitting on the couch, her left leg raised off the floor and covered with a blanket. She’d tied her hair back and wore a crumpled Morgan Ranch T-shirt he suspected was his.
“How are you feeling?” HW sat on the single chair.
“Okay, thanks.”
He waited for her to elaborate, but she didn’t say a thing, which wasn’t how things usually went between them.
He pointed at her knee. “Did they straighten that out for you?”
“Ha ha. Yes.”
HW carefully took off his hat and fiddled with the brim. “Are you mad at me?”
“Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re acting kind of strange.” He studied her pale face. “Did they give you something to knock you out while they sorted out your knee? Is that why you’re quiet?”
“I wouldn’t let them drug me.”
“So why are you quiet?”
She shrugged. “Maybe because I don’t have anything to say.”
“That’s not like you. Off the top of my head, I can think of at least three things I was expecting to get bawled out for.”
“Like what?”
“Dumping you in that helicopter, making you go to the hospital, and chasing after Lally come to mind.” He sat forward. “I didn’t think about how being taken away like that might feel for you.”
“As in that I might be scared?” She finally met his gaze.
“Yeah. Like that.”
“I was scared, but not of the chopper.” She drew the blanket closer to her chest. “I was worried that they’d knock me out and I’d wake up missing something important again.”
“Understandable, and I didn’t help, did I?”
“You did what you thought was right, HW. Don’t go blaming yourself for that one.”
“Well, we all know about my white knight complex.” He sighed. “Okay, so now we’ve dealt with that, do you want to talk about Lally?”
“What’s there to say? Again, you did what you thought was best.”
HW frowned. “You’re being way too nice to me right now. What’s up?”
“I had a lot of time to think on the way back and I realized something important.” Sam folded the blanket between her fingers and let out her breath. “The fact that you care enough about people to want to save them is a good thing. You’re not the problem, HW; I am.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Look, I’m leaving in a week and we’ve had fun, but maybe we’ve reached the point where it’s time for us to go our separate ways.”
It took him some time to process that pronouncement. “What the hell ?”
Sam raised her chin. “You need to save women and I don’t need saving. That’s okay.”
“No, it’s not okay.” He slowly rose to his feet and stared down at her. “I get that I make mistakes and try to help too much, but how about you take some of the blame on your side?”
“I just did, you idiot!”
“No, you told me you don’t need me. You suggested that you’re too damn strong and independent to need anyone. What does that say about you, Sam? That you’re too damn chicken to allow someone to support you, to care about you? To want to fucking be part of your life?”
HW abruptly stopped talking. What the hell had he just said? He jammed his hat back on his head.
“Well, good luck with that, Miss Sam. Good luck with being so perfect that you don’t need anyone or are too scared to even try to let someone in.”
He just about managed not to slam the door on his way out, but it was hard not to give way to his frustration. What the hell did she think she was playing at? He stopped just outside the barn and stared up at the starry sky. And why the hell was his heart hurting like she’d just stomped all over it?
She hadn’t been serious. She was leaving in a week. She didn’t need him. What more was there to say? That’s how he liked his relationships.
He tossed back his head and howled into the darkness.
“You okay out there. bro?”
HW closed his eyes as Ry came down the steps from the house and strolled up to him. “No.”
“Want to talk about it?”
“Nothing to say.” HW forced a smile.
Ry raised an eyebrow. “You and Sam arguing again?”
“Nope. We’re done with that.” HW shoved a hand in his pocket. “Apparently, I’m too good for her and surplus to requirements.”
“Wow.” Ry whistled softly. “That must sting. I mean, usually you’re the one doing the dumping.”
“You’re suggesting she hurt my pride?”
“Sure sounds like it.”
“Thanks for the support,” HW snapped. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to have done. She just decided we’re through.”
“Yeah?” Ry came close enough for HW to see his face clearly. “Usually that makes you happy.”
HW set his jaw. “I can sense you’re trying to make some kind of point here, Ry. Could you do us both a favor and spit it out so I can go to bed? It’s been a long day.”
“Okay; you’re pissed because Sam’s a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need you, which has never happened to you before, correct?”
HW reluctantly nodded.
“So why do you care what she thinks?”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” HW growled.
“She’s letting you off the hook. She’s telling you she’s not the kind of woman you seem to prefer, so why aren’t you happy about that? Why can’t you just say thanks for the sex and walk away like you normally do?”
“Because—” HW shut his mouth. Why did he care? What was it about Sam that made him want her regardless? And he did want her. His reaction to being sent away and to Ry’s questions had made that obvious even to a dumb idiot like him. “I don’t know.”
Ry punched his arm. “Yeah, you do. You’re just fighting it.”
“Like you’d know anything.” HW scoffed and walked off.
“Hell, bro. I know. Do you think any of us Morgans can deal with the idea of loving someone without some serious nerves? We’re all screwed up about what love is.” Ry hesitated. “I thought you’d be different, what with the way Mom felt about you, but maybe I was wrong.”
“What the heck makes you think I’m in love with Sam?” HW asked.
Ry’s triumphant grin made his hand clench into a fist.
“You’re still in denial? Bro, please.”
HW gave his twin the finger, turned away, walked into the house, and went straight up to his bedroom, where he locked the door. He tossed his hat onto his chair and stripped off his clothes before climbing into bed. As he breathed in the familiar scent of lavender and fresh air from the sheets, the instinct to hide under the covers and never come out almost overwhelmed him.
Was he really that scared of the L word?
He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling.
Yeah.
He was.