Chapter Ten
“How about we take it easy today?” HW suggested as Sam saddled Dollar. “We can check on the cattle down by the creek, ride the fence along the Lymond side, and have lunch out on the range.”
It was around nine in the morning, the sky was a clear, cloudless blue, and the rest of the guests had gone for a sunrise breakfast ride into the pine forest beyond the creek. HW hadn’t checked in with Sam, guessing she might sleep in—hadn’t dared knock on her door in case she invited him in again, to be honest. She’d arrived at the barn fifteen minutes before and didn’t seem to be limping, which made HW feel a lot better about taking her out again.
Sam looked up, her green eyes catching the sun with a flash of emerald. “Sounds good to me.”
HW held up a pair of saddlebags. “Ruth packed us a picnic.”
“Awesome.”
He took his time, picking an easy route, enjoying the uncomplicated start to his day almost as much as the company. Sam might have a lot to say sometimes, but she knew how to appreciate her surroundings without filling every second with conversation. During his last years on the rodeo, when it had gotten way more popular due to the television ratings and prize money, he’d almost never been alone. He’d forgotten how important silence was to keep a man honest; to make him examine what was inside him without distractions.
Ry had recognized that long before HW and hadn’t wanted to play that game anymore. It had taken HW a couple more tumultuous years to work it out. Right now, he couldn’t imagine ever going back.
Sam pulled up Dollar ahead of him and waited for him to join her.
“What does checking the fence actually mean?” she asked.
“It’s basically the most boring but essential job a rancher has to do. If the fences go down, the livestock gets out, and then there’s hell to pay.” HW handed her a bunch of fluorescent orange tags. “Today we’re going to mark any spots we find so someone else can come out and actually fix them.”
“But this ranch is huge.”
“Yup, and all the fence needs checking. Especially when you have empty property next to you, like the Lymond ranch, because that means no one else is taking care of it apart from you.”
“What happened to the Lymond place?”
HW shrugged. “Mark Lymond’s wife moved out on him, and he alienated all his kids and lost his way in a bottle. He was one hell of a mean drunk. He’s threatening to sell up after refusing a private offer Chase made him last year.”
“Poor guy.”
“Nah; he was totally at fault. Ask Blue how Mark dealt with his Jenna. He’s lucky to be alive.” HW shifted in the saddle. “If Ruth hadn’t stuck it out, Morgan Ranch could’ve gone the same way.”
“But you’re all here making it work now.”
“We weren’t for a long time. Dad disappeared drunk and never came home when Ry and me were around seven. Chase went to college, Blue went into the Marines, and Ry and I joined the rodeo circuit.”
“Leaving Ruth to manage everything by herself ?”
Her indignant tone made HW wince. “Yeah. What a bunch of losers, right?”
She searched his face. “From what I’ve heard from Billy, you all had good reasons to leave. I know he regrets what he did.”
“Yeah, and he found his way back.” HW looked out at the mountains. “I’m just not sure whether the family wants me back.”
“Why wouldn’t they?”
He shrugged. “Because I remind them of my mom.”
“Do you really think they blame you for what happened?” Sam said. “It was hardly your fault that she suffered severe postnatal depression and took it out on her children.”
“My, you have been doing your homework.” HW raised an eyebrow. “Not all her children; mainly Ry.”
“But still, not your fault.” She held his gaze. “One thing I’ve learned since leaving the army is that you can’t allow the mistakes you made in the past to dictate your future.”
“What mistakes have you made, Miss Sam?” HW was glad to turn the conversation round to her. “You seem like a fine, upstanding citizen.”
This time she was the first one to look away. “I survived, okay?”
“That’s a mistake ?”
“Sometimes it feels like it, when everyone you were with died.” She swallowed hard. “Survivor’s guilt, I think my therapist called it.” She gathered her reins. “Shall we get on with this fence-checking thing?”
* * *
Sam moved off, leaving HW staring after her. What was she thinking, telling him not to dwell on the past and then sharing her issues with her own? She kept her eyes level with the fence, scrutinizing it with all the care of a prison guard fearing a jailbreak. Okay, so maybe a cow wouldn’t be able to get through the two-inch gap she was staring at, but maybe she should tag it anyway. She needed to stop getting into HW’s business . . . because every time she went there, she ended up revealing something way too personal about herself.
Dollar ambled down the slope and Sam let him go, all too aware that HW was now riding close behind her.
“Whoa; hold up.”
She turned her head to see him pointing at a break in the barbed wire she’d completely missed.
“See this, Sam? That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. See the way the wire’s come away from the post at the bottom and will have to be reattached?” He leaned over and tied one of the orange tags to the top of the fence. “Be careful when you’re doing this so you don’t get trapped on any loose wire.”
“Will do.”
And just like that, they were finished sparring with their emotions and back in their respective corners. It was the weirdest relationship Sam had ever had. She tended to go out with guys who either let her get away with being the boss or fought her every step. Neither kind of relationship ever worked. HW was way cagier than that—willing to take her on but also capable of understanding when she needed room to step back and reconnoiter.
He made her say things she didn’t intend to share. He made her feel okay about saying them because he wasn’t her family or a friend who thought it better for her to forget what had happened and move on. The guilt still lingered and pretending it didn’t was lying to herself. Maybe HW felt the same way about his own stuff and she should stop interfering and stirring him up.
“Sorry for getting into your family business,” Sam said without turning around. “I’m really nosy.”
“So I noticed. We’re going to check the fence all the way down to the main gate and then come back along the road on the other side and take a left before we reach the creek, okay?”
“Got it.” Sam cleared her throat. “Could you teach the guests how to ride bulls or saddle broncs here on the ranch?”
He made a choking sound. “I thought you’d stopped interfering.”
“It was just a thought!” Sam protested. “You said you were wondering what you could do out here and . . .”
“I don’t think our insurance would cover it. Can you imagine all those guests ending up in the ER?”
“True.” Sam sighed. “Okay. Forget I said it.” She continued down the hill. “What about one of those mechanical bulls? That would make for a great evening’s entertainment.”
He didn’t answer, and eventually, she turned her head to see him grinning at her.
“What?”
“You.”
“What about me?”
“You’re just . . .” He shook his head. “Unsinkable.”
“Better than floundering around in the shallow end like a loser,” Sam said.
“Are you talking about me now?”
“No. Sometimes you jump right in there with me.”
“Yeah, sometimes I do.” His smile faded, but he didn’t look away. “It’s not like me to talk about the past.”
“Me neither.”
“Then maybe we deserve each other and should shut up while we’re ahead.” He tipped his hat to her. “Come on, Miss Sam, let’s get this done so we can have lunch.”
* * *
“It’s beautiful up here.”
Sam leaned back against the warm rock and stretched her legs out on the rug. She and HW had finished checking the fence and had ended up near two warm pools sheltered by the edge of the pine trees and the overhanging rocks of what appeared to be caves. There was a slight echo effect that magnified the sound of running water and the furious tweeting of the birds. Ruth’s delicious picnic lunch was long gone and Sam was sipping the last of her coffee.
HW pointed at the mouth of one of the caves. “Did January mention the hot springs?”
“I vaguely remember her saying something about them. Can we go check them out?”
HW rose to his feet and stretched. “Sure. There’s a store of flashlights by the entrance. We need to be careful, though. The floor surface is always wet.”
“Eek!” Sam hesitated to take his extended hand. “Do you think I’ll be okay?”
“I’ll take care of you.”
“That’s not what I said,” Sam muttered. “I’d rather not take you down with me.”
“Take me down?” HW flexed his biceps as he smoothly drew her to her feet. “Honey, nothing can take me down.”
“Strange, when I’m fairly certain I’ve seen you on your knees recently,” Sam mused and was rewarded by his faint blush.
“That was different.”
“In what way?”
“I was paying homage to your beauty.”
Now it was her turn to blush. “Shall we go in?”
“Just let me get a flashlight.”
She waited by the entrance, inhaling the mysterious steamy, sulfurous odor floating out of the cave as HW rummaged in a lockbox set in the corner.
“Here we go.” He turned on the large light and Sam gasped as the interior of the cave was revealed in all its white crystalline glory. “See the ceiling?”
“It’s like a cathedral,” Sam whispered.
“Yeah. There are several pools big enough to sit and swim in and some ancient cave paintings on the back wall that January can talk about for days.”
Sam grabbed hold of HW’s forearm and took an uncertain step forward. “Wow, the surface is slippery.”
“Just take it slow. It’s worth it.” HW took another step and Sam kept up with him. It wasn’t until he stopped again that she had the nerve to look away from her feet and take in the view. “Stay there while I turn on the interior lights.”
The mineral smell was stronger now, leaving a metallic taste in her mouth that wasn’t unpleasant, and it was so warm . . . She looked down into one of the pools where the water gently steamed like a pan halfway to boiling.
“It’s great after a hard day riding to come in here and just float around,” HW said. “Really helps loosen up the muscles.”
“I bet,” Sam said.
“So, do you want to give it a try?”
She jerked her attention back up to his face. “Like now?”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t usually wander around wearing my swimsuit under my jeans?”
“It’s not a problem.” He shrugged. “I usually just strip naked, but seeing as you’re with me, I’ll keep my boxers on.”
“You’re coming in with me?” Sam considered that as he waited for her answer. “And you promise to behave yourself ?”
“I hate breaking my promises.” He took off his warm jacket and started on the buttons of his shirt. “Who knows what I’ll do when I see you naked?”
“I’m not going to be naked.” She gave him her most ferocious stare. “I’ll keep my T-shirt on.”
“Then you’ll regret it on the ride home.”
He unbuttoned his cuffs and eased his shirt free, leaving her to gaze on what could only be described as perfection. Sam leaned closer, just to make sure she was really seeing six-pack abs and the beginning of those divine parallel ridges of muscle that led straight down to a man’s groin.
She mentally reviewed her choice of underwear for the day. Nothing fancy, just plain cotton panties and a sports bra to counteract the bouncing from learning to trot. Nothing to excite lust in a man. And then there was the matter of getting her prosthetic off, which was probably enough to kill even the slightest hint of interest.
“Are you coming in or not?”
HW sat down and took off his boots, socks, and jeans, and she forgot how to speak. It really wasn’t fair that he looked like that. Sam only realized she was staring again when he snapped his fingers in front of her face.
“Sam?”
“Okay, I’m coming.” She sat down on the opposite side of the convenient bench and unzipped her jeans, carefully rolling them down to her boots. There was a splash and a groan as HW slid into the nearest pool and promptly dived to the bottom and came up again.
“It’s damn hot.”
Keeping her back to him, Sam eased off her boots and socks and then her prosthetic. Her jeans followed and she hesitated over her T-shirt, HW’s words about the ride back echoing in her mind. She took it off and checked that her sports bra was covering all the bases.
“Need a hand?” HW asked.
“Nope. I’ll just scoot over and slide on in.” Sam suited her words to her actions and advanced toward the edge of the pool HW was already occupying. Even as she braced herself for impact, he reached for her.
“Might as well get this over with.”
She squawked as he scooped her off the edge, wrapped her in his arms, and dove downward. Before she’d even finished spluttering, they were back at the surface again and he was grinning at her.
She swatted at his chest, but he wasn’t fazed.
“Don’t do that!”
He kissed the top of her head. “Couldn’t resist.”
“You remind me of my brothers so much right now.”
“Damn. I can’t say my feelings are very brotherly.”
Very aware that she was pressed up against him from knee to shoulder, Sam spread her palm against his muscled chest. “You promised you’d behave.”
“No, I didn’t.” He kissed her nose. “I don’t feel much like behaving right now; how about you?”
She sighed. It really was the most amazing sensation to have him holding her like this. One of his hands cupped her butt and his other arm was around her shoulders. She liked it way too much—wanted to lean in and just rest her head right under his chin and let the world float by. . . .
“Come on, Sam. Let me hold you.”
His voice was pitched low and stirred something deep inside her, some unacknowledged yearning that this was right, that he was the right man, that she wanted him . . .
Giving in to temptation, she leaned in and licked his collarbone, making him shudder. His hand shifted on her ass, bringing her tight up against the hardness contained by his boxers. She breathed him in, wishing she could just bottle his scent and keep it with her forever to remind her of how good it felt to be wanted, to be seen as desirable again.
Sam opened her eyes. “I can’t use you to prove a point to myself.”
“What?”
She pressed her nails into his chest. “I can’t use you for sex.”
“Why not ?”
“Because it would be wrong.”
“But what if I’m okay with it?”
“Then you should value yourself more highly.”
He rolled his hips against hers. “You don’t want me?”
“I want you, but it’s not that simple. I like you.”
“Hold up.” He kicked backward and drew her to the side of the pool. “Let’s sit down while you explain what the hell you’re on about. Knowing you, it will take some time and I might end up drowned if I tread water for that long.” He sat on some kind of ledge below the surface of the water and she perched on his knees. “Okay; carry on.”
Sam marshaled her thoughts even while she couldn’t stop herself touching all that golden muscled skin.
“I like you—I mean, you drive me nuts, but you’re a real person and you have feelings and issues, just like I do, which means I can’t objectify you or just use you.” She caught a couple of drops of water that were rolling off his shoulder. “I haven’t had sex since the accident—haven’t felt like having sex until—I met you. I thought maybe I could just borrow you for a week or so—”
“Like a rental ?” HW interjected.
“Like a vacation fling.” She reluctantly met his gaze. “But I realized I’m not that kind of person. Sex has to mean something for me. It can’t be casual or just about lust or to prove a point.”
He reached out to cup her jaw. “There’s nothing wrong with lust.” He kissed her very slowly. “At least it’s uncomplicated.” He kissed her again, owning her mouth, making her squirm in his lap. “We obviously want each other and we kind of like each other, even though we both can be obnoxious, so what’s the harm in owning all that, understanding that it’s not just lust, and going from there?”
“Going where from there?” Sam demanded.
“Into making love?”
“Because neither of us are in the right place in our lives to be ‘making love,’” Sam spluttered.
“So you’re saying that because we can’t do lust and we’re not ready for love, we can’t have anything in between?”
Sam stared at him for a long time, but he didn’t look away or even blink. His eyes were pure gold and quietly compelling.
“I want you.” He pressed his mouth to the curve of her throat and her whole body turned to Jell-O. “I’m not going to lie about that. I don’t want to want you, but I do. It’s pure chemistry.” He nipped her and she arched away from him. “What happens next is in your hands. I’ll take whatever you offer me, and I promise I’ll still simultaneously like you and want to kill you for the rest of my days.”
Chemistry . . .
Sam thought about climbing off HW’s lap, putting on her clothes, and riding back to the ranch, but her body wasn’t having any of it. Sitting there with his arms around her was exactly where she wanted to be. Touching him—being touched by him—was the only thing she wanted right now. It was stupid, it was probably going to end horribly, but she didn’t want to let him go.
“So we could consider this a test run?” Sam said doubtfully.
“Yeah, exactly.” HW nodded. “We might be totally incompatible and never want to touch each other again.”
Sam pushed against his chest and he immediately released her, but she wasn’t going anywhere except to straddle his lap, bringing the soft center of her need against the hardness of his.
“Sam . . .” He breathed her name like a prayer as she pressed against him and lifted her mouth to his. His fingers stole into her hair and he returned her kiss, locking her against him with a fierce eagerness that made her whimper with need. She wrapped one arm around his neck and held on as the kiss deepened and spun out of control, leaving them both gasping. He wrenched his mouth away from hers.
“We . . . need to move.”
“No!” She bit his lip. “We’re not going anywhere.”
“Yeah, we are.”
With a strength she hadn’t expected, he hauled himself up and stood on the ledge, still holding her against him, and somehow managed to get out of the pool.
“Where are you going?” Sam asked as he backed away from the entrance.
“Just hang on.”
She widened her eyes as he set her down on another wooden bench behind a large rock wall and started rummaging in a box.
“They’ve got to be in here somewhere if I know my brother . . . Ah, here you go.”
Sam slapped him on the back. “HW, if you don’t tell me what you’re doing right now, I’m out of here; I’m—”
With a growl, he turned around, gathered her in his arms, and hoisted her up, making both of them catch their breath. The next moment, she was pressed against the rock wall and he was kissing her, one hand working off her panties as she squirmed against him. God, he was strong . . .
With some difficulty, he slid down her bra, exposing her breasts, and with a soft sound buried his face in her cleavage. She closed her eyes as his teeth closed gently over her nipple and rocked against him.
“Slow down,” he growled.
“Not happening.” Sam shoved her free hand down his boxers and grabbed a handful of possibly the tightest, most-perfect ass in the universe. “I want you inside me right now.”
“So bossy,” he complained. “Wait—”
Still holding her up against the wall with either his superhuman strength or the sheer force of his desire, he freed himself from his boxers and dealt with protection with the speed of the superior athlete he was.
“Oh, that’s why you—” Sam didn’t complete the sentence because HW lifted her again, and then he was pushing inside her and she was coming and there was nothing but pleasure and need and fullness and . . . She closed her eyes as she climaxed, digging her right heel into his ass and holding on for dear life as he froze over her.
“God, Sam, if you keep doing that, I’m not going to last.”
“Then speed up, loser!” Sam managed to gasp.
With a growl, he obeyed her, and then it was just about holding on and experiencing HW Morgan doing his finest work to bring her to yet another level of pleasure and take everything she had to offer him and then take more.
“Sam . . .” HW pressed deep one last time and held still as he came, his head on her shoulder, his teeth set in her flesh as he shuddered to a climax.
For a long while there was no sound in the cave other than their frantic breathing. Without a word, HW turned and walked back to the pool, gently lowering Sam in first before joining her.
Sam dived under the water. She wasn’t sure she was capable of looking at him directly yet. She’d never had sex like that before—had never even realized it existed except in fiction. The strength and fierceness of him, the beauty of his control as he held her, was now imprinted in her soul. If this was chemistry, it was a very dangerous and combustible thing to be around.
* * *
“You okay down there?”
HW forced himself to sit on the ledge and not dive down after Sam. If she needed a moment, well, damn it, so did he. He was shaken to his core by his need for her. If he’d been a lesser man, he might even admit it scared the crap out of him. He liked sex; who didn’t? But this thing with Sam—this was something new altogether.
She resurfaced, her green eyes wide, her mouth soft and swollen from his kisses, and he wanted her all over again.
“We can’t do that anymore,” Sam said, blinking water from her eyes.
“What?” HW’s question echoed off the walls.
“It was too good.”
Some part of him did a little victory dance at the compliment, while the rest of his sane mind tried to grapple with what she was actually saying.
“It was fantastic.” He held out his hand. “Come over here so we can do it again.”
“Are you listening to me? That was definitely a one-off.” She shoved wet hair behind her ear.
“So you were lying and I really sucked?”
“No! Jeez, men are so sensitive about everything!” Sam scowled at him. “If I come anywhere near you, I’m going to want you.”
“So what’s wrong with that?”
She sighed. “You know what’s wrong. I leave here in three weeks.”
“Which gives us three weeks to have the best sex ever. Come on, Sam. You never back away from a challenge and we were perfect together.” He shrugged, as if he didn’t care what she did, while inside he fought a crazy battle between picking her up and making her his again or running screaming for the hills.
She swam backward until she was on the opposite side of the pool and folded her arms over her chest. Some devil made him continue.
“You’ve changed your mind again?”
She bit her lip, making him instantly hard again. “I’m not sure.”
She didn’t want to talk about it? That was a first. Thank God for small mercies. HW seized the lifeline like a drowning man.
“Then let me help you with that. Let’s just get out of this pool, dry off, and ride back to the ranch, okay?”
“You’re backing off now?”
HW heaved himself out of the pool and stood there, water pooling at his feet. He liked the way she couldn’t stop staring at him way too much.
“I’m being sensible.”
She arched an eyebrow. “Meaning you’re scared as well?”
“Maybe.” He held out his hand. “Can I help you out?”
“Nope, no touching, remember?”
“Okay, then I’ll get dressed and check on the horses. Take your time in the pool. Holler if you need a hand with anything or else I’ll just hang around outside and wait for you.”
HW grabbed his clothes and pulled them on, wincing as he tried to zip up his jeans. Hell yeah, he was scared. He’d come back to the ranch to decide what he was going to do with his life, not get caught up with a woman who might just drive him insane with lust. He didn’t like extremes, wanted his life to be easy and predictable and . . .
“Damn it.” He stomped down on the heel of his right boot to set it straight, making his spurs jingle. Sam was right. Three weeks was never going to be enough time to do all the things he wanted with her. He left the flashlight on the bench next to her piled-up clothes and turned toward the entrance. The glint of metal from her prosthetic ankle and foot caught the light and he bent to examine it. He didn’t know much about such things, but he reckoned this one must be state of the art.
Feeling slightly guilty for prying into something so personal, he straightened up and walked toward the exit. He stopped, transfixed. Sam was floating on her back in the pool, her eyes closed and her dark hair spread out around her head. Only her fingers moved through the water. There was a slight bruise on her throat where he must have set his teeth.
HW forced himself to keep moving and not jump back in fully clothed just to be with her. He’d never imagined sex could be so powerful and addicting—hadn’t ever believed that any one person could raise that kind of emotion in another. Sure, he knew love existed—he only had to look at his twin and Avery to know that—but this all-consuming thing was way too much to deal with.
He blinked as he came out into the light. So maybe it was just lust after all, seeing as neither of them was looking for love? He let out a relieved breath and just for a second wished he hadn’t given up smoking so he could calm his jittery nerves. No way could he maintain this level of intensity about anyone for long. They’d scared each other and now they both needed to back off. That made much more sense. HW nodded. He could live with that. He just hoped Sam would agree with him.