Chapter Seven: We’re Not Bunnies
The sound of a running shower is what wakes me up the next morning. Well, that and the fact that there’s the unmistakable hangover headache that’s desperate to make its presence known. Groaning, I lift my head up, only to find its weight unbearable. With a thump, I fall back into bed, cursing myself for last night. Simultaneously I thank Cole for having the foresight to make me drink a whole bottle of water and take two aspirin in the middle of the night. Had it not been for him, Damien, the devil child from The Omen, would have nothing on me. Obviously, I don’t do well with hangovers, just like every other person out there, and that still didn’t stop me from imbibing my body weight in tequila last night. Fine, that might be a bit of an exaggeration, and I’m grateful for not drinking as much as I’d been planning to, but someone needs to make the pain go away! Mentally, I stomp my foot, since physically moving would be a one-way ticket to the bathroom and would end with me hugging the toilet bowl.
“How’re you feeling?”
I mumble an incoherent answer, hugging a pillow closely to me. It smells like Cole. I like it when things smell like Cole. I’ll have to do with them since I can’t really bear the sound of his amused laughter. He’s a cruel, cruel man.
“Tessie, come on, you need to get up and eat something. You’ll feel better,” he says more softly and I open my eyes. Well, I’m not exactly capable of opening them; it’s more like squinting when someone’s got a flashlight all up in your face.
“I don’t want to,” I whine and shove my face back into the nice-smelling pillow. The thought of food is nauseating.
“You’re going to have to. We’ve got plans today, and you need to get out of bed.”
I grumble, but at this point I’m dozing off, and sleep is welcoming me with open arms. Ah, sleep, my oldest and closest friend. No wonder we get along so well; it’s always there to take away my pain and the consequences of my various mistakes.
“I don’t have to do anything. I’m on vacation, remember?” I huff, making the effort of glaring at Cole before turning my back on him and preparing myself to go back to sleep. In my haste to slip back into oblivion, I don’t think too much about the fact that Cole’s not wearing a shirt. That said, a sleepy smile makes its way across my face when I think about instituting a law that requires Cole to walk around shirtless all the time. Now, that would be a wonderful amendment to the Constitution, wouldn’t it?
“Fine, but you asked for it.” Maybe I should be more fearful of what he’s about to do, but it’s not an immediate concern, so I dismiss the warning I’m receiving from the part of my brain that hasn’t been destroyed by alcohol.
“Since you want to sleep, we obviously need to cancel our plans. There’s no need for me to get dressed; actually, why wear any clothes at all? All I have to do is take off this towel wrapped around my waist. Maybe we’ll make a day of it; how about it, Tessie? Let me just take this thing off…”
Wait—what?
He’s getting naked?
Now?
“WAIT!” I shout and cover my eyes with one hand, flailing the other about in space. “Keep your clothes on, Stone; I’ll get out of the damn bed, just don’t get naked.”
“Oh, so you want to undress me yourself? Can’t complain there, but why don’t you get some food in yourself first?”
I want to die. He’s totally feeding off of my embarrassment, and I’m letting him. How sad is this? Why can’t I flirt like the pro I’ll never quite be at exchanging sexual innuendos? Maybe I need lessons; do they have a hotline for that?
He laughs then, and it’s the most wonderful sound, even in the given situation. I haven’t really heard enough of it and find myself cracking up, too. “You’re actually wearing jeans, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, shortcake.” He pulls my hand away from my eyes and kisses the top of my head. “I just wanted to know how you’d react. Good to know the idea of making me naked traumatizes you.” He shoots me a wounded look and I shove at his chest, not even moving him an inch. I’m sitting upright and he’s standing at the side of the bed and, upon inspection, I do see the jeans and the exposed, coveted “V” of his hips but quickly avert my gaze. I need to stop eye-molesting the guy.
“I don’t feel so good,” I mumble, looking longingly at the pillow that I’ve now placed in my lap.
He ruffles my hair gently. “Why don’t you go take a hot shower, and later I’ll make you my hangover-cure breakfast.”
I must start looking a little green since he chuckles and tips my face back to meet his gorgeous blue eyes. “You’ll like it; I promise.”
Smiling at him, I rest my forehead against the still unclothed chest. “I know I will.”
***
Hot showers are a godsend, let it be known. I feel relatively human again as I stumble into the kitchen forty minutes later and comfily clothed in a trance-like state, following the smell of coffee. I pour myself a huge mug and add in copious amounts of sugar and creamer, taking big gulps of the scalding liquid.
“Easy there, tiger, you’ll burn your tongue or something.”
I look up at Cole, who is both frying up some eggs and watching me with amusement. “I already did.” I grin and keep drinking. It definitely deserves to be called the elixir of life; caffeine is like no other substance out there, and there’s only one thing in the world more addictive than it.
And he’s staring at me like he wants to commit everything about me to memory.
As I shamelessly gawk at his gray-T-shirt-clad body and his jeans, which cling to all the right places, I find myself doing the same. But no amount of time being away from each could have possibly made me forget how his blue eyes become darker whenever he feels an intense emotion. I can’t forget that he gets annoyed by how stubborn his hair is in the morning and that he’s given up on it, making him look impossibly sexy with the Andrew Garfield hair. And what I definitely couldn’t ever forget is how he looks at me, like he’s been waiting for me forever. That look tends to stay with a girl for a lifetime.
“What?” I ask him, sounding rather breathless.
He gives me a heart-stopping grin. “It feels good to be with you like this again.”
Warmth fills me, along with a kind of happiness that I haven’t experienced in so long. He’s right; it does feel good. It feels like we’re back to who we were, but stronger. So what if we don’t have all the answers right now, and he needs some twisted sort of closure from the redheaded witch; that doesn’t really matter, not when being with him feels so right.
“Is there some kinky kitchen action going on?” Beth’s head pops out from the room that was supposed to be Cole’s. I can only imagine the thoughts running through her head when she found out that our shared room was otherwise occupied. Mentally groaning at the amount of teasing I’m going to have to endure, I twist my body to give her a pointed glare.
“We’re not bunnies,” I huff, but any annoyance at her evaporates when I notice that her pajamas are my brother’s former baseball jersey and sleeping shorts with his number on them. I’ll tease her about them later, but right now, it melts my sappy heart. Jenny, Travis’s conniving, backstabbing ex-girlfriend wasn’t really the supportive kind. She enjoyed the privileges that came with being Travis O’Connell’s girlfriend, but that was about it; when the ride ended, she left. Knowing that now my brother has someone like Beth, and that she has him, makes everything right in the world.
“Don’t look at me like I’m a heroine from one of your novels,” she says while rubbing her tired-looking eyes. She’s definitely hungover, much more than I am, and it’s showing. It wouldn’t be really nice of me to pick on her right now, but she looks just so darn adorable!
“But you look so cute in that outfit! Does Travis know you wear this to sleep?”
She arches an eyebrow, as if asking me why wouldn’t Travis know about what she wears to bed, and the tips of my ears feel hot.
Oh God.
Is she insinuating what I think she’s insinuating? Gross!
Cole coughs awkwardly. “Okay then, ladies, now that we’ve got that out of the way, how about some breakfast?” He gives us a pageant-worthy smile and offers us two plates. Beth and I reconcile in our attempts to rush to the nearest available toilet.
***
Afterward, when I’m finally able to keep food down, and Alex and Megan stumble into the kitchen, we all make our plans for the day. Everyone’s pretty okay with a plan to lie low for the morning and evening recovering from last night. Honestly, it’s a bit disappointing since I’m feeling okay and want to go out and enjoy the fact that I’m not home anymore. It’s not like I haven’t been to New York before, all of us have and done the touristy things, but there’s definitely more fun doing all those things again with your best friends and not your uppity grandparents.
I lean against the dining table watching everyone finish their breakfast and retreat back into their rooms as if the sunlight from the open windows literally burns them. Beth is already on the phone with Travis, and I shudder thinking about the things they talk about. Megan looks at me apologetically, but, given the fact that she’s been sick the entire night and that Alex has been up taking care of her, I let her go. The three of us will still get to enjoy our best-friend road trip; today’s just a small bump in the road.
Cole snakes an arm around my waist and pulls me back into his chest. Any hesitation he had about touching me is gone. He’s been finding subtle ways to touch me all morning. Brushing past me, leaning against me and whispering in my ear, it’s been driving me crazy. And now we’re alone, completely alone all over again. Someone needs to bring out the heavy-duty rope here so that I can keep my hands to myself. There are some things I can conclude certainly about myself, and being a nymphomaniac was never in the plans. That’s what Cole Stone can do to you, though.
“How about you and I get out of here?”
I perk up immediately and twist my neck to look at him, smiling as widely as possible. “What did you have in mind?”
“Well, so far all I have planned is ice cream and then maybe a walk; I just want to be alone with you.”
“I’d love that, especially the ice cream.”
He laughs, turning me around and enveloping me in his arms. “Is it stupid that I’m jealous of two really old guys called Ben and Jerry?”
I shrug playfully. “If you make me my favorite ice cream, I’d place you right up there with them on my list of people I worship.”
He grins. “Oh, I think you’ll worship me for a whole other set of reasons when I’m done with you.”
There goes my mind into the gutter. Does he do that on purpose, or does he seriously not know what he’s insinuating right now? I know I’m giving away my dirty thoughts by the look of amusement on his face and, well, by the fact that my cheeks must now be like cherry tomatoes.
He leans in closer and whispers huskily, “Yeah. Wait till you get to experience the most decadent and sinful pleasure known to man. You’ll be addicted once you get a taste, Tessie.”
My heart is racing wildly; my insides are on fire. I’m almost ready to jump out of my skin; that’s how tingly and nervous I am. His voice is like pure honey, smooth and silky, but there’s an edge of roughness that does the trick. Man, he’s good.
“I’ve been told before, but you’ll be the best judge there is, so do you want to, Tessie? Do you…do you want me to make you…” He pauses.
“Make me what?” I squeak, on edge with my mind buzzing and thoughts flying in every direction, or, well, one particular direction.
He straightens up and with a straight face that has me unnerved says, “Would you like me to make you my famous triple-Nutella-layered fudge brownies?”
Suffice it to say I don’t talk to him for an hour after that.
***
Even though I’m still super irritated with Cole for the stunt he pulled, that’s not enough to stop me from getting ready for our pseudo date. Since Beth decided to go back to the room she slept in, I’m left with Cole as my roommate, and he watches me as I bang closet doors and throw stuff around looking for an outfit.
“Are you still mad at me?” he asks from where he’s sprawled on the bed, leaning against the headboard, his arms crossed behind his head.
“Asking that question the fifth time won’t change my answer, you know.” How come I have no cute shoes? How is it that I only packed my most mangy-looking sneakers that are almost in tatters? Wonderful, now I’ll be the girl with the ugly, homeless-person shoes. And what’s with all the shirts I have? Why didn’t I raid the closet filled with the clothes my mother had bought me? Oh, right, it’s because my mother bought me the clothes. So, as I dig through one unflattering top after another, I don’t feel him approaching until he’s crouching down next to my open suitcase, which, by the way, looks like a crime scene.
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. You know that I wasn’t making fun of you, right?”
I throw away the tank top that I’m currently mangling and avoid looking at him. Of course I’m being a bitch, and he doesn’t deserve that kind of behavior, but sometimes a lot of feelings get bottled up and then burst open at the worst of times.
“I know, I’m sorry, you were kidding, and I overreacted, as usual. It’s all I seem to be doing with you, and I know it must get annoying, but it’s just self-preservation, Cole.”
I sit down cross-legged on the floor and play with the hem of my shirt. Cole sits back too, pulling his knees up and watching me with concern and a bit of confusion.
Exhaling, I prepare myself to say something that might hurt him, but it’s something that needs to be said. If I keep these feelings to myself, it’ll spread like poison and possibly ruin our relationship—again. So now I need to be honest.
“Sometimes I get scared that maybe what I feel for you is more than what you feel for me.” He opens his mouth to argue but I cut him off. “I know that’s stupid, okay, and that I’m wrong. You’ve never made me feel like we’re on an uneven playing field. You’ve…you’ve liked me for longer, so what I feel doesn’t even make sense, right? But after everything, I’m still a bit scared to come off as being more in love with you, because that makes me feel weak, and it takes me back to how badly I broke. That’s why when you joke around and I fall for them, it scares me. That’s not your fault, it’s mine, and it’s something I have to work on. I can’t let what happened keep messing us up, you know?”
Cole watches me with an intense gaze when I finally look at him. There’s pain in those eyes and guilt, emotions I never wanted to see again but, way to go, Tessa, they’re back. He doesn’t deserve what I put him through, but he’s still there every single day, looking for more ways I can hurt him.
“Do you remember what I said to you last night? I told you that my worst fear was losing you. That’s what’s on my mind all the fucking time. Whenever I look at you, I realize how easily I can lose you, especially now. So, when I’m joking around, it’s partly because I’m trying to chase away that voice that tells me that sooner or later I’ll do something that’ll make you leave me for good. But mostly because teasing you is what reminds me the most of how we started, literally when we were kids. It was always my MO to get your attention, to see that spark in your eyes. I figured that if it worked when we were five, it would work now, too.”
His mention of our childhood instantly makes me smile. God, he tormented me so much, and I hated him from the core of my being. Whenever I saw him, I’d immediately fear the worst for the rest of the day; he was like the kid from The Omen. Now he’s like that really cute guy from Clueless whom I dreamed about for ages.
Except he’s not my former stepbrother; that would be weird.
Moving on…
I cross on over to him and cup his face in my hands, kissing him soundly then leaning back. “Have I told you before that I’m madly in love with you. Cole Stone?”
He looks relieved and a bit surprised but, given the way he pounces on me, tackling me to the ground, I can tell that mostly he’s happy.
“I’m madly in love with you, too, Tessa O’Connell.”
And then he kisses me forever, or so I wish.
***
When I finally find an outfit—a difficult feat, given how Cole’s hell-bent on distracting me—Cole and I leave our friends from The Walking Dead at home and head on over to a nearby park that’s chock-full of people enjoying their summer. After getting and eating my promised ice cream, we find a secluded spot beneath a massive old tree and settle down. Well, I sit and Cole lies down with his head in my lap. Sighing contentedly, I lean against the tree and run my fingers through his hair. His moan of appreciation tells me that he approves.
This is perfect.
We’re silent for a while, enjoying some quiet after the heavy-handed conversation we had at the apartment. We’re finally in a place where there are no questions lingering in the space between us. So, if any more problems were to come our way, we could face them together. Just as I’m getting lost in my thoughts, I hear Cole say something that I don’t catch.
“Did you say something?”
He sighs. “I wish I hadn’t.”
This sounds ominous and I’m panicking already. What now? Oh, please, don’t let it be the E-word; I can’t take the E-word without flying off the handle.
“Your mom called me today.”
Okay, that’s okay. It takes a minute for me to process what he just said, but when it does sink in, I’m surprisingly okay with it. She’s been calling me, too, but I don’t answer or listen to the voice mails she insists on leaving every time. It’s only natural that she calls Cole; cheap shot, Mom.
“Oh.” I manage to say after a few tense moments, “What did she want?”
“Apparently, you don’t answer her calls.”
I mutter a noncommittal whatever as he watches my face. “She really wants to talk to you, Tessa.”
“I’ll talk to her when I’m ready. If I do it now, it’ll only end up making things worse; I’m not exactly her biggest fan at the moment.”
“That’s what I told her, but she was sort of desperate. Tessa, she’s in the city and she wants to have dinner with us tonight.”
“No.” I don’t need to think about it; there’s not even another option. I did have my suspicious about my mom being here, and I’d prepared myself for this. There is no way I’m going back to pretending everything’s normal, not when she walked out on her family without a second thought. She’s always been selfish, but her actions of late have taken it to a new level. Me being civil and fake is not on the cards, Mother.
“Look, it’s just dinner. If we show up and you let her have her say, that’ll be the end of it. At least it’ll be better than constantly avoiding her. I know what it feels like when you cut someone off, Tessie.”
Ouch, he’s making a valid point and bringing up bad memories, all in one go.
“It’s not the same…she…she…”
Cole lifts his head from my lap and scoots over next to me, taking my hands in his. “You feel like you hate her, like you can’t ever forgive her, right?”
I know what he’s thinking about right now. “It’s not the same. We were different; that was you, and this is about my mom.”
“We’re both people who hurt you and failed you. Do this for me, Tessie; just try talking to her, that’s all I ask.”
“What exactly did she say to you to get you on her side?” I ask since I’m genuinely curious. Usually he lets me and my mommy issues be. He’s never been this involved because I know I’ve made it a moot point and he doesn’t want to fight, but this is the first time he’s being so relentless about it.
He grins and brings his face closer to mine. “She may or may not have said that I was the only person her daughter trusts with her life and would always listen to.”
“And you believed her?” I scoff, but inwardly, I hate the fact that Mom still knows me.
He looks nervous for a moment. “Maybe things have changed a bit and you don’t trust me like you used to—”
I slap my hand over his mouth. “I do trust you, Cole.”
His lips curve into a smile beneath my fingers and he kisses my palm. Removing my hand, I lean against his chest and ask, “Where do we have to be and at what time?”
I’m such a sucker for him.
But this is not about my mother; this is about me showing Cole that what my mom said is right and that he doesn’t need to doubt us ever again.
“Love you, Tessie.” He kisses the top of my head, and it makes everything worthwhile.