—44—
By George (Orwell), I’ve got it!
Now that I know what I’m going to do to win back my man (*sassy clicking*), I can’t quite believe it didn’t occur to me earlier.
Once I finally realised that leaving voice message after voice message on the hour, every hour and staking out Edward Cullen’s apartment just wasn’t going to do the trick, I knew I had to get creative. And fast. There’s a delicate timeframe in which a break-up turns quickly from hurt feelings, to devastation, to hatred, to a terrifying and rapid determination to move on. And that time is called Tinder.
So, I put my thinking cap on and got to work. Here’s what I realised I had going for me.
1. Edward Cullen digs a romantic gesture. In fact, he once told me that there was no problem too big or situation too grave that a good old-fashioned, sweep-you-off-your-feet act of love couldn’t fix.
2. I have access to books. Plenty of books! And thankfully, I at least understand books, and when a situation calls for a good one (it’s my job, after all).
3. If I’ve learned anything from this derailed experiment, nothing brings people together quite like a brilliant paperback.
So, that’s where I started: books and romance. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
First, I thought, write the best Young Adult dystopian novel he has ever laid his beautiful, broad hands on! Then he’ll have to take me back! I grabbed my laptop, clicked open a fresh document, and got as far as: THINK OF A SCINTILLATING OPENING LINE FOR A YOUNG ADULT BOOK. HELP!
Once I recovered from that two-and-a-half hours of torture, I moved on to my next grand idea. I grabbed a pile of books, some scissors and a piece of butcher’s paper and made my own love quotes comprised of random words cut from the pages of some of the greatest love stories of all time. ‘Let me be the words written on your heart.’ *sigh*
I took a step back and surveyed my handiwork … and realised that it looked like a bad ransom note. I scratched that idea pretty quickly.
Then I started to get a little desperate. I googled, in order: ‘top ten romantic gestures’, ‘how to win back your ex’, ‘what to do when you’ve fucked everything up’, and ‘how to glue your relationship (and books) back together’. But nothing!
And finally, it hit me: it all started and ended on a train. Our first electric kiss and the final blow, the disastrous discovery of my train date plot – all the secrets that I had been keeping from him. Maybe it was one last (or several final) ride(s) on the rails that we needed. I reassessed the books lying before me and realised I was looking at this from the wrong angle. I was only thinking about this from my point of view (#typical #turningintomymother). I was picking out of the works of fiction that had moved me and had failed to consider which books would actually get his heart racing. So, I went back to the drawing board (ahem, bookstore). I scoured it for some of his favourite books and piled them on top of each other.
Divergent
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
The Knife of Never Letting Go
Cringe. Cringe. Cringe.
Next, I pulled up the online train timetable and noted every train line I knew Edward Cullen took and every time of day he might travel. What I came up with was a neat little plan to book-ninja the hell out of Melbourne’s public-transport system. Over the next few days I would release as many Young Adult books as I could muster on as many carriages as possible, in the hope that he would discover one such book with these words scribbled inside:
I’m sorry. I love you. Please call me – Frankie xo
After all, ‘Longing hearts could only stand so much longing.’
Until next time, my dears.
Scarlett O’ xx
Leave a comment (1232)
Love Affair with Books > Such great books. Damn, there are some superb writers out there. Fingers crossed he finds your book!
No offence but … > I don’t think a book or two is going to make up for your mistake.
Stephen Prince > @Nooffencebut … There you are!
No offence but … > @StephenPrince, you’re actually obsessed with me.
Maddy Pretty Picky > Love your work, Scarlett. Praying for you xx