Stuck in Under Land
After Adam and Dave’s purchase offer was accepted by the home seller, there was apparently a mountain of paperwork to push through. Fortunately, that gave me time to start sourcing some products and really putting together some solid ideas for each of the tiny house’s four rooms. I had visions of a sweet little cottage getaway in the middle of Sydney. A perfect AirBnb getaway!
Of course, my first priority was my relationship with Adam. Though it would have been easy to get swept up in the task at hand, I made sure that he and I took time for ourselves whenever it was feasible. We would take walks around town, check out coffee shops and falafel stands, and really just talk. These outings were good for both of us; a short time away from discussing work and worrying about money, international visas or anything more complicated than crossing the street and holding hands.
We got to know a little breakfast place pretty well, visiting once or twice a week for coffee and pancakes with a side of fresh fruit. A few weeks into my stay, I confronted Adam about our living arrangements.
“Julie doesn’t need me cramping up her home,” I protested when Adam insisted we were very welcome to continue on in the same house together indefinitely. “Honestly, she’d much rather have her place to herself and her own family again. And I don’t blame her. I mean, we’re strangers!”
“Aww, not anymore! And anyway, she and I knew each other before Dave even entered the picture! We go way back. Trust me, there’s no need to worry about it.”
This was news to me. Adam and Julie went ‘way back?’ What?
“Umm…what do you mean? I assumed you met because she was dating your brother?”
Adam shot me a sidelong glance, clearly gauging how I might respond to his next words. “He and I came to Australia together, the first time. We met a lot of current friends at that time, together.”
“Julie included.”
“Right.”
“Huh. Okay. Well, even so. I would be more comfortable in my own space.”
He thought about that for a moment, quietly, while we watched rollerbladers zip up and down the bike path of the park. We’d stopped to sit on a hard bench under the shade of some mature fig trees, with no particular aim in mind other than to spend time together away from the house. The air was fresh and cool here; the constant sound of people and traffic muted by the large green space of Parramatta Park. Though this was a bustling area most days, hosting music, festivals and other events, this particular evening we found it quite secluded and calm.
“I guess I can understand that,” he countered, “but where would you go? You can’t work here, and I know money isn’t a huge issue for you right now, but the work Dave and I have for you is basically in exchange for room and board. Finding something on your own would be a huge expense, don’t you think?”
I sighed. He was right, I knew. Obviously, I was still struggling to accept that budgeting was a part of everyday life now that I had no wealthy husband to back up my expenses. Still, I was feeling so out of place at Julie’s. I felt her expressionless glare on me every time we were in the same room together.
“Okay, yes, it would. It’s just – Julie doesn’t like me, Adam. I feel uncomfortable. I knew coming in that there were no set dates in terms of the real estate project, but I’m antsy and worried that we’re sort of stuck in limbo until…who knows when. Aren’t you?”
He shrugged, but I could see anxiety on his handsome face. “I think the same things, Mel, but the fact is we are basically stuck, until we can get the house finished and sold off.”
I nodded. “Okay. And then what happens?”
He looked surprised at the question. “Well, I guess I don’t know! But didn’t you know that before you came?”
Hmm. “I guess so.”
He looked at me worriedly. “So, what do we do?”
I took his hand and squeezed it. “We keep following your plan. I’m sorry to sound so…lost. I knew what the deal was, I think everything’s just catching up to me know and I’m sort of in a mini-panic. “
We watched the people in the park for a few minutes in silence.
“Have you heard from the guy? You know, since you got here?”
Frank. I’d told Adam about him, in the spirit of full disclosure. And I had, actually. Heard from Frank. Following an awkward but not earth-shattering confession to my one-time lover that I had strong feelings for someone else, I casually mentioned leaving the country to visit said someone. About a week ago, he’d checked in – friendly, but a little odd nonetheless. So, I nodded, but held in any facial expressions that could be interpreted as positive or reminiscent.
“I did, actually. Just checking in. Nothing weird. I told him everything was great, of course.”
“Of course.” There was a hidden chuckle in his tone.
I leaned into his side, pushing into that small layer of fat that had settled along his midsection. He felt good against me.
“Is it me?” He asked, his normally light eyes darkening. “I mean, is this little location issue really that you’re scared to be so close to me?”
I widened my eyes at the question, but considered it carefully. “No,” I concluded after a moment. “It’s definitely just about Julie. And her kids.” I laughed. “I’m just uncomfortable.”
“Okay. Well I’m still sorry about that. But it’s gotta be done, right? For now, anyway.”
“And just so you know, it has actually been really amazing being so close to you again. Though I have to admit I was pretty terrified we’d have trouble sharing our space…but we haven’t at all. I think that’s pretty special. How about you?”
Adam squeezed my hand, leaning over suddenly to shield me from a skateboarder who careened just a bit too close to our bench. We both laughed.
“You must know I feel the same, Mel. Right?”
I nodded and smiled, secure although he hadn’t said the words himself.
“I think so.”
He pressed into me and we sank into a warm, dizzying kiss.
“But seriously…Julie hates me…”
“Oh hush.”