CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Riley sat in his ex-wife’s kitchen, something that had become a habit this past week.
“Riley, you’ve been here every night since the story broke. I appreciate it. Ted appreciates it. Lizzie appreciates it. But, frankly, you’re driving me insane!” Lisa said, but despite the laughter, the seriousness in her tone spoke volumes.
Riley didn’t really want to spend his time here, either, but he had no desire to go home to his empty apartment.
Lisa looked around, obviously making sure their daughter wasn’t around before speaking. “Has it been that bad for you?” she asked.
“Not terrible, actually. It just sucks being alone.”
Lisa’s eyes opened wide. “It’s finally happened, hasn’t it?” She pulled out a kitchen chair opposite Riley’s and sat down. Perching her chin in her hands, she developed a huge grin on her face. “You’ve finally met the one woman who doesn’t fall into your lap at the snap of your fingers!”
He winced. “Do you think you could stop looking so damn happy about it?”
“I’m sorry.” She wiped the smile from her face. “It’s just that I never thought I’d see the day. So what’s going wrong?”
He shrugged. “Other than everything?”
“If she isn’t standing by you during this mess, you really don’t need her in your life, Riley.” Lisa spoke bluntly with obvious concern.
“What if she’s standing by me only during this mess?” He voiced the concern that had been dogging him since the scandal of his parentage had erupted.
Sophie had called him almost immediately after the news hit the papers. He hadn’t returned her calls. The problem was, he didn’t want her in his life only when there was something wrong. Only because she pitied him or thought he needed her to confide in. He wanted her to come around on her own because she couldn’t imagine being without him.
“Before the news hit, I had one foot out the door to see her, literally,” Riley explained. “I was finished giving her time and space to miss me. I was going to see her to lay it on the line. To tell her that I loved her and that if she loved me it was time to put away her insecurities and take that leap of faith.” He flexed and unflexed his fists, frustration still boiling inside him.
Lisa rose and walked to the refrigerator, pulling out a long-necked bottle. She pried off the top with an opener and slid the bottle over to him. “Have a beer. We keep it around just in case you stop by,” she said, laughing. “You seem like you could use one right now.”
“Thanks.”
“So you changed your mind about seeing Sophie. Why?” Lisa asked.
Although it struck Riley that this was the first serious conversation he and his ex-wife had had in years about anything other than their daughter, he appreciated the insight of someone with a successful marriage.
“At first I had to deal with the fallout of the news. By then, Sophie had left messages for me. And it dawned on me that I hadn’t heard from her since our trip to Mississippi. But as soon as a crisis struck, boom! There she was, calling me.”
Lisa wrinkled her nose. “And this is a bad thing?” she asked, obviously confused.
He nodded. “You have to know Sophie. In a crisis, she steams into control mode. She knows exactly what to do, what to say and how to act, in order to take charge and make sure that all’s right in her world. As soon as the problem is over, she crawls back into her self-protective shell and won’t come out.”
“Sounds like she needs you more than you need her. And if you don’t mind my saying so, that giving-her-space thing? It’s more something a man would appreciate than a woman,” Lisa said.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on and treating it with a long swig of beer. “I think she needs to be shaken up a bit,” he muttered, not knowing how else to get through to the beautiful, stubborn woman.
He couldn’t believe after all the years of women coming easily to him, the one woman he wanted in his life for good, he couldn’t figure out how to keep. If this were a damn football game, he’d have a playbook. For all Sophie’s rules, there were none on how to reach her.
The doorbell rang and before Lisa could respond, Lizzie’s footsteps sounded, padding down the stairs. “I got it, I got it,” she called, alerting the neighborhood.
Riley and Lisa shot each other amused glances.
“Grandpa!” Lizzie yelled, surprising them both.
Since Lisa’s father had died years ago and Lizzie called Ted’s father Poppy, a sinking feeling settled low in Riley’s stomach. He rose and followed Lisa out of the kitchen and into the foyer in time to see Harlan hugging his granddaughter.
His eyes caught first Lisa’s with a warm smile, then Riley’s.
“So what brings you here?” Lisa asked, shutting the door behind him.
Harlan wrapped an arm around Lizzie’s shoulder. “I stopped by Riley’s straight from the airport. The doorman said he wasn’t home, so I figured I’d take my chances and have the car service drop me here. Riley mentioned yesterday that he’d been spending time here this week and I was hoping I could meet up with all of you. At the very least I knew I’d get to see my favorite girl.” He hugged Lizzie tight. “Can we all sit and talk?”
Oh, something was up, Riley thought. And it couldn’t be good.
“Let me get Ted. He’s doing paperwork in his office.”
Harlan nodded. “That would be a good idea.”
Once they were all seated in the living room, Harlan rose and stood in the center of the room. “I realize nobody in this room has had an easy time of it since Riley’s paternity was revealed.”
He shook his head, uncertain where the hell Harlan was going with this.
“I promised I’d find out who was behind the leak.” Harlan knelt down beside his granddaughter. “Is there anything you’d like to tell us?”
Riley stiffened. “Dad…” he said, warning his father to back off. “Don’t go looking for a scapegoat just because you’re still angry I told Lizzie the truth about Spencer.”
The other man rose slowly, in deference to his age. “I have a hair-trigger temper and I admit I lost it that day, but I can assure you I would never blame my granddaughter unfairly.” He turned to Lizzie. “Would I, young lady?”
Lisa jumped up from her seat. “I don’t know what’s going on here but I don’t like it. If you have something to say, just say it. Stop beating around the bush,” Lisa said, her temper flaring.
Ted placed a hand on her arm, pulling her back down, but staying out of the family squabble, at least for now.
“I agree with Lisa,” Riley said. “Just spit it out.” Riley had to admit, his daughter, who was still staring at the ground, looked extremely guilty about something.
“My sources tell me that the person behind leaking the news is a man named Frank Thomas. His daughter, Sara, is a schoolmate of Lizzie’s,” Harlan said.
Riley groaned.
Lisa leaned back in her seat and sighed aloud.
Lizzie burst into tears.
* * *
An hour later, Riley drove his father back into the city so he could drop him off at his hotel.
“It isn’t easy being a parent, is it?” Harlan asked.
Riley shook his head. “No, it sure isn’t.” He paused, knowing he owed Harlan an apology. “I’m sorry I trusted Lizzie with that information. Definitely too much for a thirteen-year-old to keep inside. And now your career is at risk.”
Harlan sighed. “As she explained through her hysteria, she just confided in a friend because she was upset about you and your girlfriend being on TV. It never dawned on her that her friend would tell her father or that her father would sell the story to earn a buck. Makes it hard to be angry.”
“Well, I still trusted her with sensitive information and she repeated it. She needs to learn that actions have consequences. I suppose now she has.” Riley swerved the steering wheel to avoid a taxi who cut him off.
“I hope so,” Harlan said.
Riley glanced to the passenger side. “So what happens now?”
“I ride out the scandal and see what the electorate does in November. Nothing else I can do.” He set his jaw, grinding his back teeth.
“Are you heading back home in the morning?”
Harlan shifted in his seat. “I have an important meeting at nine. I’ll fly out after that.”
Riley grinned. “The busy life of a politician.”
“Yet sometimes it’s your personal life that wears you down,” the other man said, laughing despite the circumstances. “So how’s that beautiful woman you brought home with you?”
“Fine.” Riley wasn’t in the mood to discuss Sophie for a second time today. He managed to make small talk and keep his real feelings to himself until they finally pulled up to the curb by the hotel and said their goodbyes.
Exhausted, Riley drove home, parked and took the elevator up to his apartment, ready to fall into bed. Instead as he approached his place, he saw a blonde seated outside his door waiting for him.
Sophie must have heard his approach, because she looked up, then rose to her feet, an embarrassed smile on her face.
His heart sped up at the sight of her in her faded jeans and T-shirt. Her hair was tousled and she wore no makeup.
“Hi there,” she greeted him with a wave.
He practically lost his heart all over again, but reminded himself he had good reason to be wary. “Hi, yourself.”
“Your doorman recognized me from the interview Uncle Yank did on TV and he said I could come on up and wait.”
The interview. Another time she’d seen fit to leave a message because she thought it was the right thing to do, not because she couldn’t stay away. She managed to do that too easily.
He put his keys in the door and let them inside. “Been here long?”
“Not really,” Sophie lied. More like two hours, she thought. She’d even dozed once.
Once inside, he tossed the keys on the kitchen counter. He turned to face her and she saw how truly tired he looked. She curled her fingers into a fist, resisting the urge to reach out and caress his face.
“I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve had a really long day. I’m wiped out and just plain not in the mood for company. I’d really appreciate it if you’d get to the point of your visit, so I can get some sleep.” As if to back up his claim, his body swayed and he leaned against the counter for support.
She swallowed hard. His curt tone caught her off guard. Though they hadn’t been in touch lately, she thought they understood each other and shared a special bond. She thought he’d need her. Wasn’t that why she’d come to see him now?
She bit on her lower lip, feeling silly for showing up at all. “This was a mistake. Just forget it.” She pivoted fast and started for the door.
“Wait.” He caught her arm, stopping her from making a clean escape.
She turned and faced him. Her skin burned where he’d touched her, the desire she always felt in his presence still strong. Stronger though was the humiliation.
“I’m sorry. It’s just—”
She waved off his apology. “You don’t need to apologize. I shouldn’t have just shown up here unannounced.”
“Then why did you?” His tone softened and curiosity flashed in his face, along with a warmth she hadn’t seen yet tonight.
She spread her hands out in front of her. “The news stories, the gossip, the fact that everyone knows Spencer’s your father… I know it can’t be easy and I’ve been worried about you.” She paused, then added, “I’ve left messages, but you haven’t returned my calls.”
“It’s been hectic.”
“I’ll bet.” When had they become like two awkward strangers? Sophie wondered. Even at their most heated, angry moments, words had never failed either one of them. “I figured that since nobody knew about you and Spencer before now, you might want to talk to someone who understood.”
“Is that it?” he asked, folding his arms across his chest.
Not a good sign as far as Sophie was concerned. He was obviously blocking her out. She wished she could close her eyes and have the floor swallow her whole.
He remained silent, obviously waiting for her to continue her pathetic explanation.
She might as well oblige or else she wouldn’t be getting out of here any time soon and her humiliation would continue. He couldn’t make it any clearer that he didn’t need or want her compassion or understanding.
She shrugged uselessly. “That’s it. I thought you might need a friend. Obviously I was wrong.”
“A friend.” A ruddy stain rose to his cheeks and a muscle ticked in his jaw. “You thought I might need a friend.” He repeated her words with complete disgust in his tone. “You know what, Sophie? I have plenty of friends. Dozens, in fact. If I wanted to pour my heart out about my newly revealed father, I could turn to any number of people in my life. Hell, I could book an interview on any television show and talk to the goddamn nation!” he said, his voice rising.
She stepped back, away from his anger. “I really should go.”
“The hell you will. You came here to offer your friendship and now I’m going to have my say before you leave.”
In all the time she’d known him, she’d never seen this side of him. She wasn’t afraid of Riley, she never could be. But she’d obviously hit a tender nerve and though she didn’t understand, she desperately wanted to.
“Go on.” Her words came out more like a croak.
“Do you want to know where I was when I found out that the world knew Spencer Atkins is my father?”
She blinked, waiting.
“I was on my way to see you. Want to know why?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “I’d decided I was finished giving you time and space. I’d decided to lay it on the line and tell you that I love you.”
His words hit her like a sucker punch in the stomach, hard and painful, and unexpected and sweet all at the same time. Her chest hurt as emotion and anxiety lodged there and remained.
“I didn’t know. You never—”
“Came around or told you.” He treated her to a grim smile. “In the disaster that followed, you left messages checking in on me.”
She nodded again. “You never returned my calls.”
“Because I realized that you only call or show up when things go wrong. When you can take control and do what Sophie Jordan does best—dig up the facts, tell people how to handle things and generally run the show—you’re a great sister and I bet you’re an even better friend.”
He wasn’t exactly listing bad qualities. Confusion raced through her. “I don’t understand.”
He tipped his head to the side and studied her. “The thing is, I don’t need another friend. I love you, Sophie Jordan. But I want the person I love to be by my side in good times and in bad. I don’t want someone who shows up to lend a shoulder and who runs away from things that feel too good.”
“I don’t—”
“You do,” he said emphatically. “You most certainly do run away any time you think I’ve gotten too close.” He slowly stepped closer, invading her space.
She couldn’t breathe as it was, but now when she inhaled she was overcome by his scent, by all that was Riley, and was forced to admit to herself she loved him, too.
She just couldn’t say the words out loud, fear pummeling her from all sides. And the more he spoke, the more she realized he knew her better than she knew herself.
He placed an arm against the wall above her head. “You lost your parents and you cope by controlling things around you, but here’s the kicker: you can’t control love. And that scares you so badly you’re willing to walk away from a damn good thing before I leave you first. Or before, on the off chance, something happens and I die on you. Just as your parents did,” he said, his voice softening, melting her defenses and breaking her heart.
Tears filled her eyes and she didn’t bother to wipe them away, nor could she summon a reply for Riley. She didn’t have an answer that would satisfy him because he was so dead-on accurate it was scary.
Cindy had said much the same things, but coming from a friend, it had sounded like psychobabble. Coming from the man who was causing all the emotional turmoil gave it that much more impact.
“Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to return the sentiment.” His eyes flashed with a mixture of irritation and disappointment at the same time. “But that’s my whole point. You can’t say the words. Hell, I don’t even know if you can feel them.” He ran his hand through his hair, leaving it spiked and disheveled.
“That’s unfair.” Sophie trembled, unable to believe the depths to which this conversation had gone. “I didn’t even know how you felt before now.”
“Would it have mattered?” He set his jaw, his mind obviously already made up.
She looked inside her heart and asked that same question. Would it have mattered? Could she commit to him even now that she knew he was in love with her? Could she give him the words he wanted to hear, knowing she was in love with him, too?
She swallowed hard and met his gaze, the fear of losing him all-consuming. But the fear of committing to someone and not knowing exactly what would come next was too overwhelming for her to contemplate.
She reached out and touched his cheek, as she answered his question in the most honest way she could. “Probably not,” she said, ducking beneath his arm and running from his apartment far and fast. Running from him and everything he made her feel.
* * *
Spencer arrived at the hotel for his meeting with Senator Harlan Nash. He wasn’t early. He wasn’t fashionably late. He was exactly on time. He didn’t know if he should be thanking Yank or wanting to murder him for encouraging—or more like forcing him—to set up this appointment.
He knocked on the door and the other man promptly answered and let him inside. There was no need for a formal “hello” or “how are you.”
Spencer settled into a seat in the spacious outer room of the suite.
“Drink?” Senator Nash asked.
“Whiskey,” Spencer said.
“I think I’ll join you.” The senator poured them each a shot and then sat, sliding Spencer’s glass toward him on the table by the couch.
When they both had their drinks in hand, they stared each other down until, finally, Spencer had had enough. “Can we agree on one thing? That we both have Riley’s best interest at heart?”
Harlan nodded. “We always have.”
“And for all these years, you’ve done my job,” Spencer admitted. “You raised my son to be a damn fine man and for that I owe you.” The words didn’t come easily, but they were long overdue.
“Before you go on, there’s something you should know.” Harlan rose and paced the carpeted floor. “This news leak was the last thing I needed in my career. And the gossip was the last thing I wanted for my family.”
Spencer nodded. “It’s been no picnic for me, either,” he muttered. “And if you think I stayed out of my son’s life all these years only to have him find out anyway, you’d be sadly mtaken.”
The senator paused and turned to face Spencer. “Then you’d understand if I told you I would have done almost anything to ensure the news never came out.”
Spencer allowed himself to enjoy the burn of the whiskey as it traveled down his throat before replying. “Your point?” Spencer finally asked, unwilling to let this powerful man think he was rattled or thrown by either their meeting or whatever the senator had to say.
Although Spencer had called for this meeting, the other man had agreed readily and obviously had an agenda of his own. Which was fine with Spencer, since he hadn’t let the other man in on what he wanted out of this talk. Not yet, anyway.
“What we say tonight never leaves this room,” Harlan said, his words more a command than a question.
Spencer nodded. “Agreed, although I have to wonder why you’d take me at my word.”
The other man downed his drink and poured himself another. “Because you’re Riley’s flesh and blood and anything said here tonight can only hurt him. Since you spent a lifetime making certain that never happened, I have no choice but to trust you now.”
“You mean since I spent a lifetime staying away from him?”
Harlan nodded. “I can’t imagine you’d waste all those years of doing the right thing just to get back at me.”
Spencer exhaled hard. “No more games, Senator.”
“In November I have an election against a tough opponent. I needed every edge I could find against a man who isn’t afraid to fight dirty,” Harlan said, beginning to explain at last. “When the news broke about you, the last thing I needed was someone making the connection between you and my family.”
Spencer nodded. “So far I’m following you.”
“I also knew Riley had tracked you down and extracted a promise that you wouldn’t suddenly decide that with one secret revealed it was time to let the rest of the skeletons out of the closet and admit he was your son.” The senator shoved his hands into his front pants pockets and stared vacantly, his mind obviously preoccupied with telling his tale.
He’d certainly captured Spencer’s interest. “Something tells me my word wasn’t enough.”
Harlan let out a harsh laugh. “Not in that particular case. I needed you too preoccupied to even think about bonding with your son or talking to the media.”
Spencer narrowed his gaze. “So you…”
“Paid someone to sabotage you. Nothing that would destroy your business for good. Just a little something to keep you busy.”
Realization dawned at once, anger surging up like bile in his throat. “The computer crash? The break-in? The camera in Sophie’s bathroom?”
“The camera was a dud, but you must admit all those things gave you little time to think about your personal life or any desire to reconcile with Riley.” The senator raised an eyebrow, obviously pleased with his success.
Spencer clenched his hands around the glass. “You have brass balls, Senator.”
“I do what I need to in order to survive.”
“Tell me something. After the draft, things quieted down. Weren’t you worried that maybe I’d have time then to think about renewing my connection to my only child?”
Harlan nodded slowly. “I certainly did. I also knew I was out of options since there was nothing else I could do to stop it, should that be what you desired—nothing except talk to you man-to-man, which I had every intention of doing. Unfortunately the story broke anyway, thanks to Lizzie, and so here we are.” He tipped his glass, tapping it against Spencer’s.
Spencer pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d come here to make a demand of the senator, one he’d thought would cause a war between them. Instead he’d been handed the keys to his own personal kingdom, Spencer thought.
“Do you realize that you’re behind a felony?” Spencer asked.
“Only if you can prove it. And so far the NYPD has been unable to find any leads.”
The man’s smugness turned Spencer’s stomach, but he forced himself to remain calm.
“Sophie’s been petrified,” Spencer said through clenched teeth, unable to hide his anger. “Her uncle walks the floor at night on his bad hip, concern for her eating him alive.” He leaned forward in his seat. “And Riley’s been worried sick about her.”
Guilt etched Harlan’s features for the first time this evening. “I’m sure you can see why you wouldn’t want Riley to know I was behind these things.” The sound of the senator grinding his teeth sounded loudly in the room.
“Just why did you reveal your role to me?” Spencer asked.
Harlan splayed his hands outward. “Because the guilt was getting to me,” he admitted. “And because I want you to convince the police to drop the investigation.”
Spencer eyed the other man warily. As a politician, Harlan was obviously skilled at hiding his emotions when dictating his will. So Spencer was glad to see that the man who’d raised his son had some remorse for his actions.
He was also glad to be handed the opportunity for a little quid pro quo. “I want something in return for my silence,” Spencer said.
Harlan didn’t need to know that Spencer would never hurt Riley by filling him in on his stepfather’s actions. Riley admired the man and loved him like a real father. He deserved nothing less.
“What do you want?” the senator asked.
Spencer rose from his seat, going toe-to-toe with the senator for the first time. “I want you to give me free rein to mend the rift with my son.” He spoke past the emotion lodged in his throat. “I can never be the parent you’ve been, nor would I ever try. And I would not undermine your role in his life. You’ve been everything to the boy and that’s as it should be even now.”
The senator eyed him with a mixture of admiration and wariness. “Anything else?”
Spencer nodded. “Should Riley come to you or to Anne, I want you to voice your approval aloud. He values your judgment and he wouldn’t want to do anything to hurt you. If he thinks getting to know me will bother you, he’ll back off.”
“Riley’s his own man. He makes his own choices,” Harlan warned. “I won’t sway him if he wants to maintain his distance.”
“All I ask is that you not discourage him.”
Harlan slowly nodded. “You’ve got yourself a deal.” He extended his hand and Spencer shook it, feeling lighter than he had in years.
Despite Harlan’s underhanded dealings, Spencer would walk away with a weight lifted off his shoulders, because before him now lay the potential for a reconciliation with his son.
“Atkins?” Harlan’s voice stopped him just as Spencer reached the hotel-room door.
“Yes?”
“This Sophie Jordan woman, is she any good for my—for our son?” Harlan asked.
Spencer turned around, a smile on his face for the first time all night. “There’s no better,” he assured the senator.
He neglected to mention that she was as stubborn as they came with walls a mile high and pain buried deep. Spencer had his doubts even Riley could get through to her.