CHAPTER NINETEEN
The ballroom lights had been dimmed, making it more difficult to locate people inside. Sophie hoped she could use the cover of darkness to gather her thoughts.
“There you are!” Cindy made a beeline for Sophie, pulling her aside. “I’ve been looking all over for you.”
Sophie smiled. Despite the chaos she was feeling, she was happy to see her friend. “Well, here I am.”
“Looking fabulous,” Cindy said. “Gosh, I envy you that silky blond hair.”
Sophie had had her hair blow-dried straight for tonight’s party. Meanwhile her friend had a headful of glorious red curls falling over her shoulders and striking a perfect contrast with her emerald-green dress.
Sophie shook her head. “Why is it we always want what we don’t have?” she asked lightly.
“I have it now!” Cindy said, her words not making any sense but her excitement tangible anyway.
“I don’t understand.”
Cindy drew a long, deep breath. “I always spent my life witnessing other people’s happiness. You know, the beautiful girl gets the gorgeous guy. I never thought it would happen to me.”
Realization began to dawn. “I see now. This is about Miguel, isn’t it?” Sophie asked.
“Yes! That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Cindy said. “Miguel and I both agree it’s too soon to talk marriage or engagement, only because he’s a traditional man and he hasn’t met my family—well, the people from the restaurant back home that I call family. And I haven’t met his parents and relatives. They’re in the Dominican Republic, but he booked us a trip. First to L.A. and then to the Caribbean!” she explained in a long-winded rush, her eyes glittering with joy. “And just so that I don’t think he isn’t serious, he gave me this.” Cindy held her right hand out to reveal a huge emerald ring.
“It’s gorgeous,” Sophie said, finally able to get a word in. “And so are you. Gorgeous and glowing with happiness. I couldn’t be happier for you.” She pulled her friend into an embrace before stepping back.
She no longer believed Miguel Cambias was anything other than a rival agent, despite them never having solved the mystery behind the sabotage at the office. Without another incident to go on, the police had pretty much stopped searching for more clues. The NYPD had more important things to do than investigate a dead end. And in her heart of hearts, Sophie refused to believe that a man who made her friend this happy could be the culprit.
“You deserve all good things,” Sophie said, squeezing Cindy’s hand once more.
“No more than you do.” Cindy’s meaningful gaze bore into Sophie’s, as if she could transmit the message and make Sophie believe it, too.
Sophie swallowed hard, the lump in her throat as painful as the hole in her heart. “Don’t you have a Latin hunk waiting for you in the other room?” she asked, forcing a light laugh.
Cindy nodded. “You can’t control everything, but you can control your own choices. Think about it, please. Before it’s too late.”
Sophie opened her mouth to speak, but words wouldn’t come. Just then, a loud drumroll sounded into the hall. “Would everyone please gather around?” Spencer’s voice reverberated from the microphone.
“Saved,” Sophie said, too low for anyone to hear. Then she turned and followed Cindy back into the ballroom.
The next few minutes passed in a hazy blur. Spencer introduced the newlyweds and Uncle Yank blustered about how lucky he was that he hadn’t lost Lola long before now. Many of his reminiscences had Sophie laughing aloud. Some nearly had her in tears.
But one thing became clear as she stood in a room surrounded by Uncle Yank, Lola, her sisters and her new brothers-in-law. All of her life, she’d told herself that as long as she had her family, she would be fine. But tonight, for the first time, she was surrounded by every single family member she adored, and yet she was still completely alone. As alone as she was in her apartment night after night. As alone as she’d be for the rest of her life if she didn’t do something about it.
She didn’t have to look far for the courage to act, either. All around her were examples of people who’d fought their inner demons and won. Bravery surrounded her. From Annabelle and Vaughn to Micki and Damian, from Uncle Yank to Spencer, she was faced with people who’d confronted their fears and let themselves trust—in both love and in a future.
She could be like them, like the brave woman who’d gone parasailing with no fear, or she could remain alone wondering what might have been. She could walk out of here tonight without taking a chance on Riley, and accept a future of being alone and lonely. Or she could take that leap of faith and trust that Riley would catch her.
“Well, Sophie?” she asked herself. “Which one will it be?”
* * *
Riley had had enough socializing and making nice, talking to everyone except for Sophie. He hadn’t seen her since she’d entered the room, talked to her sisters and walked out again. By ignoring him, she’d made her feelings and intentions perfectly clear.
He might have chased Spencer around for years before catching on to the fact that the man hadn’t wanted anything to do with him, but he was older and wiser now. He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. He’d give Sophie the space she so desired. Permanently.
He’d sent Lizzie to say goodbye to whomever she wanted to before they left and he had a hunch she’d made a beeline for the ladies’ room because his daughter was nowhere to be found.
He had to admit the evening wasn’t a total bust. He found a surprising satisfaction in having made a tentative peace with his biological father after all these years. He didn’t know what the future held for them, but he had a positive feeling where before he’d felt only anger and disappointment. Not bad for a party he hadn’t wanted to attend.
He glanced around but he didn’t see Lizzie and wondered if she’d decided to meet him by the entrance. He’d turned and started for the door, when a light touch on the shoulder stopped him.
Having had his share of people and small talk for the evening, he jerked around with every intention of abruptly excusing himself without a long explanation. And then he saw Sophie.
“Care to dance?” She spoke boldly, but in her eyes he saw vulnerability.
She obviously wasn’t sure what to expect of him. And damned if a part of him didn’t want to just turn and walk away to make her feel as rejected as she’d made him feel all night long.
Instead he placed his hand in hers and led the way to the dance floor. Although he tried to keep an emotional distance, he found it difficult when holding her in his arms, inhaling her unique scent and knowing how her soft curves fit so perfectly against him.
“Enjoying yourself?” he asked, his voice gruff.
She drew a trembling breath. “Not really.”
Her words surprised him. “I’d have thought you’d be thrilled to celebrate your uncle and Lola’s marriage.”
“I am.”
“But?” He swung her around and eased them away from the prying eyes of her family, who stood too close to where they danced.
She tipped her head back. Moisture fringed her lashes, making her blue eyes glassy. “I’m…lonely.”
He blinked, certain he’d heard her wrong. “I don’t understand. Your entire family is here. How could you feel alone?”
She treated him to a grim smile. “I’ve been asking myself that same question. All my life, I told myself that family is all that matters. First we needed to stay together after my parents died and later we just needed each other.”
By her serious tone of voice, he sensed things had shifted for her in a way that had affected her deeply.
“But now…” Her voice trailed off. Her eyes grew even more glazed and unfocused.
She was obviously thinking about what to say next. It was difficult not to make suggestions to lead her to the conclusions he wanted to hear, but he refrained. “Go on,” he said, not wanting her to think he wasn’t listening.
She nodded. “Have you ever been surrounded by people you loved and yet been completely alone? That’s such a surreal thought and yet that’s exactly what happened tonight.”
He understood her, because being here tonight with his daughter and the man whose approval and love he had always sought hadn’t been enough for him, either. Not with Sophie little more than an arm’s distance away physically but emotionally on the other side of the earth.
“I realized tonight that the family I hold so precious isn’t enough anymore,” Sophie whispered. “I need more.”
Despite their slow and easy dancing, Riley nearly tripped on his own feet, because her words gave him a shot of hope for a future between them for the first time.
“It’s confusing,” she said, obviously talking things through for both herself and for him.
“What is?” He switched his grip, lacing his fingers through hers.
“All the rules in my life have shifted. It’s like I’ve done a one-eighty and now I can’t find firm ground.”
“I can relate,” he muttered. The way Riley’s stomach was bouncing around inside him, he couldn’t settle down, either. She was giving him explanations with no firm conclusions and his nerves were shot waiting to see what exactly she was trying to say to him.
She smiled. “I know I’m talking in circles, but I need to do this my way.”
And their ways were never quite the same, which was what had given her pause to begin with, Riley knew. So he shut up and let her continue. Otherwise he might lose this one last chance—at what, he hadn’t a clue.
He could only hope.
“So I looked around the room and realized that I had half-a-dozen examples in front of me of people who had conquered their fears, and I could either do the same or end up alone.” She grinned at him, her smile too bright, too forced, her fear of rejection palpable.
He hated to do this to her, but he had no choice. “Sophie?”
“Yes?”
“I have no freaking clue what you’re trying to tell me. Okay, I take that back. I have an idea, but if I’m wrong, I don’t think I could handle it.” It being having his heart squashed by her again. He didn’t see a reason to define it graphically for her.
He stopped in his tracks in the middle of the dance floor. He already held her hands in his and he brought them up to his chest, near his heart. “I get all the why’s about how you’re feeling. Now you have to tell me what you’re feeling. You have to say it and mean it.”
Her eyes opened wide and she nodded.
He took a risk and continued. “Fear’s okay. I’m afraid before every game I play. Just don’t tell anyone,” he said, forcing a laugh when he felt anything but lighthearted. “So fear’s okay, but giving in to it isn’t.” He squeezed her hands tighter, hoping to instill her with the courage he already sensed she possessed.
“My family isn’t enough for me anymore. They’re married and happy and settled…and I’m not.” She bit down on her glossed lips. “My sisters faced their fear of losing someone they loved and took the ultimate risk. What I’m saying is, I’m ready to take that risk, too.”
He gave her an encouraging nod. Meanwhile his heart pounded hard in his chest and a pain gnawed at his gut while he waited. For her.
Slowly, she pulled her hands out of his and cupped her palms around his face. “I know I’ve put you through hell and that you’ve been a major grump, to use Lizzie’s words.” A smile tugged at her lips. “And I’m sorry for that. But I can’t fit you into any mold and that scares me.”
“You can’t control me by reading a book. You can’t guarantee that I won’t get sick or injured or worse one day. Life is a risk.”
She nodded. “I realize that now. And I want to take that risk with you because I love you.”
“Say that again,” he said, the pain in his chest and stomach slowly easing.
“I love you,” she said on a hoarse whisper. “And I want to spend my life with you.”
He knew the courage she’d needed to take this step and he planned to make sure she never regretted it. He reacted on instinct, picking her up and twirling her around.
“Now I’m going to make you a promise you can count on, because it’s within my control,” he said, letting her down onto her feet.
“What’s that?” she asked, grinning from ear to ear. Obviously she approved of his reaction.
“I will never leave you and I will never consciously do anything to hurt you.”
Sophie nodded, her throat full, unable to believe this rebel man was hers and hers alone. “I’m sorry it took me so long to come around.”
“Who am I to criticize someone doing something their own way?” he asked, laughing.
“Hey, I found this girlie hangin’ around outside.” Uncle Yank strode up to them, Lizzie in tow. “I know she belongs to you,” he said, poking Riley in the chest. “What kind of parent leaves his kid alone while he hits on a woman in the other room?”
Lizzie’s eyes grew wider. “Is that what you were doing?” she asked.
Sophie rolled her eyes. “Uncle Yank—” Not in front of the child, she almost said before catching herself and shutting up.
Riley grasped Sophie’s hand in his. “Let me handle him.”
“By all means.” Smiling, Sophie stepped back so the two men could tangle.
Riley looked at Lizzie and winked before turning to the older man. “Yank, you’ve been my agent for my entire career and we’ve always gotten along well,” Riley began.
Uncle Yank raised one bushy eyebrow. “Your point?” he asked gruffly, still in protective guardian mode.
“I’m hoping we can get along equally well if you’re my uncle-in-law,” Riley said.
The older man’s mouth opened then shut again. Apparently he’d rendered Yank Morgan speechless—not an easy feat. Considering Sophie was stunned at the comment herself, she could understand her uncle’s reaction.
“In-law?” Sophie asked, wanting to make sure she understood exactly what Riley was saying.
“That’s what I want to know,” Yank said. “Are you askin’ for—”
“Your niece’s hand in marriage.”
“You want to marry me?” Sophie asked, stunned. It was one thing to talk in generalities, another to know he wanted the entire commitment.
“You want to marry her?” Lizzie parroted, sounding equally surprised.
“What the hell is wrong with everyone?” Riley asked. “I love her. Of course I want to marry her,” he shouted, silencing the entire room.
“Yes!” Lizzie said, recovering first.
“Well, I guess I can’t argue with that,” Yank said gruffly, beaming with happiness and obvious approval.
Without warning, the crowd reacted next. Her sisters, and then Uncle Yank and Lola, who now stood beside him, broke into a round of applause.
“You aren’t upset?” Sophie asked Lizzie quietly when the clapping had died down.
She noticed that Riley leaned in closer, waiting for his daughter’s answer.
“Hell, no. Now Dad’ll be in a good mood all the time and he’ll start saying yes to things again,” Lizzie said, grinning.
“Miss Mouth,” Riley said, warning her.
But even Sophie noticed the twitch in his lips. His happiness shone through his disapproval and warmed Sophie straight through to her toes. “You’re quite the little schemer,” Sophie said, laughing.
“What can I say? It’s part of my charm.”
“She inherited it from me,” Riley said. “And now I’d like a word alone with my future bride.” Instead of telling everyone else to scram as Sophie expected him to do, he turned to Yank. “As your first official duty, you can keep an eye on your soon-to-be…whatever you want to call her,” he said, laughing.
Lizzie narrowed her gaze in a way that said, I’m gonna get you for that. But her eyes were dancing with happiness. Apparently she wasn’t kidding; Lizzie did approve of Riley and Sophie at last.
Riley grabbed Sophie’s hand and pulled her through the ballroom, out the large doors and into the unoccupied coatroom closet, slamming the door behind them. A dim light glowed from overhead.
Riley bracketed his hands against the wall over her head. “I cannot believe I finally have you alone,” he said, his eyes glittering with desire.
She was way ahead of him. Every pore in her body craved his touch.
“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look tonight?”
She shook her head. “No, but something tells me you’re going to.”
A slow, wicked smile spread across his lips as he settled his mouth on hers. It was a long, sensual while before he lifted his head and met her gaze. “You look spectacular,” he said in a husky voice.
“Tell me again,” she said.
“You’re brave, beautiful and mine.” Then he dipped his head and he told her in other ways. Over and over and over again.