CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Yank hated the walker. He hated not being able to see everything clearly. But he hated being without Lola more. Maybe he’d had to be kicked in the butt a ridiculous number of times and let decades go by before he was ready to see what was in front of him all along. “But dammit, I’m seeing it now!”
“Excuse me, sir?” The new security guard who rode the elevator in the Atkins building asked.
“Nothin’. Seventh floor, please,” Yank said to the man.
He’d been out of rehab for over a week and now that he was managing to get along, thanks to his driver and walker, he was out of excuses for avoiding his fate.
A series of consecutive beeps let Yank know when he’d arrived on the right floor, as did the sound of the doors sliding open.
“We’re here,” the guard said.
Yank maneuvered his way out, walker first. He could make out shadows enough to see where he was going and he also knew Spencer’s office space well enough to manage on his own.
“Mr. Morgan!” The receptionist at the main desk jumped up from her seat. “We weren’t expecting you.”
“Good. I like the element of surprise. I want to see Lola.”
“She’s in her office. Should I tell her you’re here or do you prefer the element of surprise there, too?”
“You can tell her I’m coming to talk to her and to clear anyone else out of there.”
“Yes, sir.” The woman picked up the phone while Yank slowly headed to Lola’s small room off Spencer’s office.
He knew by the familiar perfume that she was waiting for him in the doorway. She’d used the same scent, or something similar, since the day they’d met. He smelled it in his dreams, Yank thought.
“I can’t believe you’re up and around,” Lola said.
“Yeah. Time flies when you’re havin’ fun.”
“Well, you certainly used the time to get yourself healthy.”
He nodded. “I didn’t have anything else to do except rehab and think.”
“Come on in.” She stepped back so he could walk into the office.
He had no choice except to allow her to help him into a chair. He ought to get used to it, he thought, and clenched his jaw.
“So what brings you by?” She lowered herself into the seat next to him.
Surrounded by her scent, a warm familiar feeling and unmistakable arousal kicked in. “You’re really gonna make me spell it out for you?” he asked, annoyed she couldn’t understand that this visit was his way of making a major statement.
She jumped to her feet. “I’m too busy for games, so if you have nothing to say, you can leave now.”
Yank groaned. “Okay, okay, cool your jets and sit down. Please,” he added, afraid she wouldn’t even give him a chance.
He wasn’t sure, but he thought she narrowed her eyes and glared at him. He certainly could sense steely anger emanating from her in waves. Didn’t the woman know how hard this was?
But then how hard had he made her life all this time? He’d thought about this long and hard and he hadn’t come to her empty-handed.
Yank reached into his pocket and wrapped his hand around a jewelry box. He’d gone shopping alone, not wanting to involve the girls. He hadn’t wanted to get their hopes up, nor had he wanted to face their pity if Lola turned him down.
Lola slowly eased herself into a seat again, watching Yank warily. She’d known him too long to jump to any conclusions. Just because she’d given him an ultimatum again didn’t mean he’d come around. After all, she’d tried once before and she was still working with Spencer and not Yank.
Suddenly he pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket. A jewelry box, if she wasn’t mistaken, and she began to shake. Her palms grew damp. And despite the evidence in front of her, she still refused to believe. Who knew what was inside? He could have bought her a necklace or something.
“Well, aren’t you going to take it?” Yank asked.
She accepted the box. Hands shaking, she turned it over and over again, almost afraid to open it. “It’s got teeth marks,” she said, recognizing the inane comment.
“I don’t think the girls fed the dog too well while I was in rehab. She’s picked up some awful habits I’m gonna have to break.”
Lola laughed and ever so slowly opened the box. Inside was a huge pink sapphire stone set in white gold and surrounded by diamonds.
She sucked in a startled gasp. “It’s…It’s…” For the first time in her life words failed her.
“It’s five karats, and each diamond is pretty damn big. I can’t remember the size. But I can get bigger. Or green if you’d prefer an emerald. Or one large diamond. We can do that, too. Whatever you like, the jeweler said he’d get it for you,” Yank said, rambling.
Also a first, Lola thought. Tears streamed down her cheeks and Yank reached out and wiped her face with his hand. “How’d you know I was crying?” she asked, knowing he couldn’t possibly see her tears.
“Because after all these years, I know you,” he said in a gruff voice filled with more emotion than she’d ever heard from him before.
Lola swallowed hard. “So is this a friendship ring?” she joked for lack of knowing what else to say.
Yank had never been an eloquent speaker, and now he’d handed her a box with the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen inside. Yet he hadn’t explained its significance. Just like the man, she thought with exasperation, the tears still flowing.
“Well, here’s the thing. I’m no bargain. I’m getting closer to being legally blind. I’ve got a bum hip and use a walker, though it’ll soon be a cane.”
She leaned forward, holding her breath.
“I’m grouchy on a good day and my dog craps and sleeps wherever she wants. You can blame the girls for that. I had Noodle trained.”
“Somehow, I doubt that,” Lola said. “Now quit getting off the subject and go on.”
He shook his head. “Right. Well, I probably waited too damn long and I no longer look like the prize I once was—”
She snickered and he shot her a dirty look.
“And a part of me thinks you gave me this ultimatum so I’d say what you want to hear just so you can dump me on my good-for-nothing, arrogant—”
“Yank!”
“Yeah, yeah. Well, I was wondering if you’d like to marry me. I’d say raise my kids, but you already done that. I’d say for better, but there isn’t much of that these days. I can definitely offer you for worse and know you’d have that to look forward to—”
“Yes.”
“What?” He blinked, obviously stunned by the one little word. “Yes what?”
“Yes, I’ll marry you, you stupid fool. I’ll take you half-blind and limping and obnoxious. I’ll even accept your foolish dog just as long as you really want this, too,” she said, unable to turn off the waterworks. She sniffed and reached for a tissue on the corner of her desk.
Yank grabbed for her hand. “I’d get down on one knee but I’d never get up again. I wasted years of our lives and I got no excuse for it. I can’t believe you’d take me now.”
Lola pulled him into an embrace. “Yank Morgan, you’ve always been mine and I’ve always been yours. It’s just taken you longer than most to come around.”
He chuckled. “What can I say? I’m special.”
“That you are,” she whispered. And she intended to spend the rest of her life making sure she took good care of him each and every day.
“You’re no slouch yourself, Lola. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m the luckiest man alive. Do you know how much I love you?”
She shook her head. “I don’t think I do, but you can spend the rest of your life showing me.”
He grinned. “You gonna put that ring on now?”
“No, you’re going to do it for me.” She placed the ring in his palm and held out her hand.
By sense of touch, he easily slid the ring onto her finger.
She raised her hand to admire the stone and the way the sun shining through the window highlighted all the perfect facets. “It fits!”
He chuckled. “I told you I know you.”
And she knew him. He was a unique man, one who’d given up his bachelorhood and raised his three nieces. Lola had gone through periods of frustration and yet she’d never regretted devoting her life to Yank and his family. Not even after she’d decided the time had come to move on without him.
And now all of her dreams had come true.
* * *
Micki blew off an afternoon PR function and had one of the staff pinch-hit for her, heading home to the comfort of her apartment instead. She took a hot shower and didn’t even pay attention when Noodle licked the droplets of water off her legs. While using his walker, her uncle had nearly tripped over Noodle, who lacked the brains to get out of the way. So until Uncle Yank was more mobile, she’d agreed to keep the dog with her. Micki hated to admit it, but Noodle was good company, especially since she was feeling lonely right now.
A few short weeks ago, Damian had offered her everything she’d dreamed of and she’d pushed him away. She’d never thought he’d actually say he loved her, but he had. Had he meant it or did he just believe it for now because she’d become his safety net? Those were the thoughts that haunted her day and night.
Along with thoughts of her own past and future. Thanks to her uncle and her sisters, Micki had always known love and security. They’d cushioned and protected her, too much at times. As a result, she was insecure when it came to trusting her instincts. Oh, she could handle herself professionally because there she’d been given free rein. But personally and emotionally, sometimes she felt ill-equipped to handle things.
Was it any wonder that at her age she’d had to turn to Sophie for advice on dressing and acting more femininely? Was it any wonder she couldn’t bring herself to believe a sexy jock like Damian Fuller would really be in love with every guy’s friend, Micki Jordan?
And really, those were the truths at the crux of her turning Damian away. It was easier to continue to pull back now than to take a chance with him only to have her heart broken when Damian finally realized his true feelings and walked out on her later.
She trembled and pulled the old afghan around her shoulders, cuddling up on her couch. Noodle lay at her feet, the dog’s body heat warming Micki’s toes from the air-conditioning blowing around her.
Tears fell freely and she wiped them with the knitted blanket, ignoring the knocking at the door, waiting for the person to go away. She shut her eyes, only to hear the rattling of a key chain and see the door open wide.
“Micki?” Sophie walked inside and slammed the door behind her. “As soon as I heard you bailed on your afternoon appointment, I knew something was wrong. What’s going on?” Her sister walked over to the couch and knelt by Micki’s side.
She didn’t feel like talking about it so she remained silent.
“It’s Damian, isn’t it?” Sophie asked. “You’ve refused to talk about him ever since the day I sent him to find you in the park.”
“It’s Damian,” she said, agreeing to the obvious.
Her sister nudged her in the side. “Come on, Mick. You’re not going to feel better if you don’t open up and talk about it.”
Micki eyed Sophie knowingly. “You mean you’re not going to feel better until I talk about it.” Resigned, she pushed herself up against the armrest and faced her sister.
Sophie slid into the empty space on the sofa. “Same thing.”
Even now, the words wouldn’t come any easier. “Damian wanted to talk about us.” She laid her chin on her bent knees and met Sophie’s gaze. “He said he loves me.”
Her sister’s eyes opened wide. “That’s wonderful! It’s everything you dreamed of! So why have you been moping around like you lost your best friend?” Sophie leaned back and really looked at Micki for the first time. “And why are you crying now? I’m really confused. You love him, too, yes?”
“Yes.” Micki nodded. “But I still sent him on his way.”
“I thought it was something like that, but what I don’t get is why.”
“I have my reasons.” Micki went on to list the excuses she’d fed Damian. Some of them, like the relief he’d feel when the reality of not being a father set in, she truly believed. Others, like him being used to having her around, she didn’t buy for a minute. Because she loved him, too, and it wasn’t that she’d gotten used to having him by her side. She enjoyed it. She wanted it forever.
But she didn’t believe it would last.
Sophie rose to her feet and planted her hands on the hips of her expensive suit jacket. “I could kill you! Who pushes away a good, kind, decent, sexy man with a bunch of bullshit excuses?”
From her tone and uncharacteristic use of foul language, Micki knew her sister’s rant was just beginning and she hoped to head it off. “I guess the obvious answer is, I do. Now will you please respect my decision and leave me alone?”
“Let me ask you something.”
“It’s not like I have a choice, is it?”
Sophie shot her a scowl. “You came to me and asked if I’d help you make yourself over. I did. You specifically hoped to land Damian Fuller. You did. And now that you have him exactly where you want him, you push him away. I simply don’t understand, so you’re going to have to explain it to me.” She waved her arms in a dramatic gesture that had Micki ducking to avoid being whacked in the head.
She rubbed her burning eyes and groaned. There was no way she’d get her sister to go away and leave her in peace without a long-winded talk.
“Millions of women would kill to have Damian say he loved them—” Sophie continued.
“Do you really want to know why I pushed him away?” Micki cut in. “Fine, I’ll tell you. It’s exactly what you said. It’s because there’s no way Damian Fuller wants a woman like me when he could have any woman just by snapping his fingers,” she yelled, her cheeks hot at the embarrassing admission.
Sophie pulled her into a tight, sisterly hug. “Oh, Micki. You are so wrong about yourself. So wrong.”
Micki’s throat grew tight. “Have you seen the women he usually dates?”
“The ones like Carole with fake boobs and no morals? The ones who’d try and pass a kid off as his when she knew there was a fifty percent chance he wasn’t the father? That kind of woman? Yeah, I can see why Damian would choose someone like that over you,” Sophie said wryly. She grabbed Micki’s hands. “He’d be lucky to have you. Why can’t you see that?”
“Because I’m scared.”
“Then get un-scared and do it fast. Otherwise you’ll make the same mistake Uncle Yank did.”
Micki glanced at her sister. “It’s not that easy.”
“No, it isn’t. But what good is your makeover if you’re still the same insecure person on the inside?” Sophie shook her head. “And that’s not you. You’re the woman who can handle a locker room full of men with a shrill whistle. You can run a huge PR event and have everyone in the room kissing your ass. Come on! You’re going to let the best thing that ever happened to you walk away because you’re afraid to take a chance?”
Micki drew a deep breath and sought to explain. “I’ve never had to take a real chance before. I always had Uncle Yank and Annabelle to lean on. Lately, you’ve had my back. With Damian it’s like walking a tightrope with nobody to catch me,” she said, expressing her greatest fear.
“Well then jump and trust in him,” Sophie said, frustrated.
“Easy for you to say.”
Sophie shrugged. “Maybe you’ll get the opportunity to throw my advice back at me one day. In the meantime, you’re my sister, I love you and I’d hate to see you miss a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.”
Micki rubbed her bare arms and wondered if she had the faith in herself Sophie thought she should have.
Her phone rang and she picked it up. “Hello?” She listened to her uncle and then Lola and pure happiness filled her at the news.
She hung up and turned to her sister. “Uncle Yank and Lola are engaged,” she said amazed.
“Wow. Hell hath officially frozen over!”
Micki laughed. “Yeah. What do you know?”
Sophie shook her head, a wide smile on her face. “I know I’ve just seen one miracle. Now it’s time for another.”
“I need time, Sophie.” Time to sort through her emotions and make sure she could handle any possibility where Damian was concerned. Time to be sure she could believe in her ability to hold on to Damian.
“Well, don’t take too long. Now that he’s announcing his retirement, he’ll have more free time on his hands than he knows what to do with. And a guy like Damian Fuller won’t stay unattached forever.”
* * *
Damian waited until a day off to clean out his locker. A travel day when nobody would be around. The day after he announced his retirement to the world. With Sophie acting as his publicist, and Yank, his coach and the Renegades owners by his side, Damian had held a press conference at the stadium. The timing had been perfect. Coming right after the game when the Renegades clinched a place in the postseason, Damian Fuller announced his permanent leave from the game he loved.
The Renegades retired his number, twenty-two, which would hang on a stadium wall in honor of his career. He was proud, he was sad, and though he had a broadcasting job waiting for him beginning with the play-offs, he still felt at loose ends. A trip to the island was just what he needed to get his head back on straight, Damian thought.
Outside it rained, a torrential summer soaking that darkened the sky and matched his mood as he began pulling mementos out of his locker. From a distance, he heard the familiar sound of the creaking locker-room doors swinging open wide. Annoyance shot through him. He’d asked the equipment manager to make sure nobody bothered him so he could take the time to empty his locker in peace.
If they’d let a reporter in…He shook his head and returned to his job, removing one thing at a time, from baseballs to old jocks, to sunscreen and bubble gum that’d turned hard a long time ago. He’d collected a lot of crap, Damian thought.
“I thought I’d find you here.”
“Micki?” At the sound of her voice, Damian turned around fast.
“Surprise,” she said somewhat sheepishly.
“It sure is.” He hadn’t seen her in weeks nor had he heard from her since she’d turned him down back in Central Park.
He’d spent the past few weeks not only arranging his future but trying to put Micki in his past. Now she was here on the second most difficult day of his life and, though a part of him welcomed her, another part immediately erected barriers a mile high. No way would he let her slice his heart out again.
He leaned against the metal bank of lockers and stared. He wasn’t about to make this easy for her—no matter how good she looked in a short pink skirt and tie-dyed tank under a white top that fell over her shoulders in the old Flashdance style. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair spread over her shoulders in a tangled mass of curls. She was more appealing than she had a right to be, all things considered.
“So, what brings you by the locker room? Looking for a jock to represent now that you have a free slot in your schedule? You ought to know the team’s on the road.” He winced at his callous tone and deliberate sarcasm. Obviously he was more hurt and angry than he’d wanted to admit, even to himself.
Her eyes flashed with hurt. “That was mean.”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah.”
“But not entirely uncalled for.” She pursed her lips in a thin line. “I came here to talk.”
She piqued his curiosity. “It’s not the most comfortable place, but have a seat.” He gestured to the wooden bench he’d spent years using to lace his shoes. She lowered herself to the bench and he joined her.
“I caught the press conference yesterday,” she said. “I’m not sure what to say first. I’m sorry it happened so soon, and at the same time I was really proud of the way you handled yourself with the media. I know it wasn’t easy.”
Her soft, approving gaze warmed his heart. “It wasn’t. Want to know why I was able to do it?”
She nodded.
“Because you told me I could handle it. Just like you told me I could handle being a father. When you say it, I’m able to believe.”
“I’m glad. At least I’ve been good for something other than ego bashing,” she said wryly. She folded one leg beneath her. “Seriously, watching you was impressive. You faced the very thing you feared most. You stood up to your fear of losing baseball and you answered every reporter’s question without flinching.”
He shrugged. “Years of training, I guess.”
“Did you hear that Uncle Yank and Lola got engaged?” she asked, an excited grin lighting up her face.
“I sure did.” He didn’t see any point in mentioning he and Yank had agreed to go for it at the same time. “I’m glad he hit a home run.”
She laughed. “Love the baseball analogy. To me, he’s an example of another person facing his fears.”
Damian wasn’t in a talkative mood and he had a lot on his mind. Small talk with a woman he wanted and couldn’t have wasn’t his idea of a good time.
He met her gaze with a serious one of his own. “Micki, what do you want from me?”
“I want to do what you and Uncle Yank did. I want to face my fears.” She paused. “When you and I got together that first time, I knew the rules. I did. I admit at the time I hoped I’d be that one woman who caused you to change your mind, the one you’d fall in love with, you know? I knew it was a ridiculous wish. I mean, how many women in your life thought the same thing?”
Damian didn’t speak. He didn’t move, he didn’t breathe, afraid that somehow he’d mess up and she’d walk out and he’d never hear what else she had to say. He didn’t know how this was going to end, but he didn’t want to miss a second of what came before it did. Because she had been the one special woman who’d changed his mind, and then she’d bolted on him anyway.
Micki drew a steadying breath. “I guess I never thought my fantasy had much of a chance of becoming reality because when it did, I panicked.”
“You ran.”
She nodded. “Afraid to face my fears.”
She was on the edge, Damian realized. She could still explain and refuse to take a chance on them or she could jump off that cliff and see if he would catch her. He needed her to believe he’d be waiting when she made the leap.
He reached out and grasped her hand, ignoring the slight pain in his wrist and focusing solely on Micki. On keeping her right here with him and convincing her that this was where she belonged.
“What exactly are you afraid of?” he asked. “Because God knows if anyone has experience in avoiding commitment and relationships and being afraid of putting himself out there, it’s me.”
She gave him her bravest smile. “But you have a lifetime’s experience of going out there every day in front of a crowd and facing possible defeat. It may have taken a pregnancy scare to show you what you really wanted in life, but once you realized, you went after it the same way you went after your career. With your whole heart. And I broke it in return.” She glanced away.
“Hey.” He turned her face towards him. “Something tells me you’re not finished.”
She shook her head. “It’s just not easy, baring your soul.”
“Not easy, but worth it in the end, I hope.”
“This whole girlie thing.” She lifted the edge of her skirt and let it flutter around her thighs. “It’s all new to me. And I look at the women you dated and I look at myself and I think, How can I even hope to hang on to you?”
Listening to her gut-wrenching honesty nearly took Damian’s breath away. He understood how she was raised and the influence her uncle had had upon her and yet that’s what made her unique. “Honey, when I look at you, you’re right, I don’t see anything similar to those other women.”
She tried to pull her hand away but he held on tight.
“But don’t you see? That’s what makes you so special. That’s why I love you. That’s why until you, I never once thought about spending the rest of my life with anyone I’d been with. They never captured my interest the way you do. I’d never had to worry about being distracted during a game because of anything a woman did or said to me. Then you showed up and I couldn’t stop thinking about you. In the field, at bat, when I was facing the possibility of having fathered Carole’s baby, all I could think about was you.”
Micki swallowed hard, but the lump in her throat was too large and the tears she’d been holding back began to trickle down her cheeks. As if admitting her inferiority complex wasn’t embarrassing enough, now she had to turn into a crybaby.
She swiped at the tears with the back of her hand. “You’re not going to get bored one day?” she asked.
He shook his head and laughed. “Not in a million years. Unfortunately, you’re going to have to take my word for it.” He cupped his hand around her cheek. “Can you do that?”
“If you can have patience. I’m actually not used to this insecure part of me. It seems to rear its ugly head only around you.”
His other hand followed the first, so he cradled her face, making her feel warm, secure and completely needed. In his gaze, she viewed a depth of feeling she’d never seen before.
“Around me you’re not going to have any reason to think or feel insecure.”
She bit down on her lower lip. “I was hoping you’d say that. Because I decided if you’re still interested, I’m ready to go after what I want.”
“And I was hoping you’d say that,” he echoed with a grin.
Micki decided then and there to shed her insecurities and keep them at bay. She knew that she’d slip at times. She also knew she’d have Damian there to catch her if she fell.
She rose to her feet, straddling the bench as she stood. “I love you, Damian.”
“I love you, too. But you said that before and you sent me away, so what’s different this time?”
“I am. I’m ready to give not just my heart, but my trust, too.” She meant it, but she didn’t know what he wanted any longer. “You said you imagined having my baby.” For weeks she’d tried not to remember those words because she’d been running from her fear.
His dark eyes raked over her in an invisible caress. Her body trembled and her nipples puckered beneath her clothes. He noticed, and she saw a shudder run through him as well.
“Do you still feel that way?” she asked.
“You know I do,” he said in a voice rough with desire.
“Well, I thought maybe I’d give you a present to remember this locker room by.” As she spoke, she pulled her T-shirt up and over her head. Her tank came next, followed by her barely there strapless bra.
In the time it took her to blink, he’d tossed his shirt aside and pulled her against him. Her aching breasts pressed against his hair-roughened chest, sensations of warmth rushing through her. Liquid heat coated her sex, a welcome feeling after ignoring her desire for Damian for so long.
And then his lips came down hard on hers and Micki knew this was meant to last forever. His tongue swirled inside her mouth as she feverishly worked at the button on his jeans. Her heart pounded hard in her chest, pure joy and ecstasy bubbling inside her.
He lifted his head, staring into her eyes for a long, sweet time. “I definitely don’t have protection here.”
Micki swallowed hard. “I definitely don’t want you to use any.”
With a low growl, he stepped back long enough to unbutton and pull off his jeans himself, while she, too, undressed. He thrust into her quickly, while standing, without a condom separating them. The sensation of Damian, every hard, smooth velvety ridge of his cock was like nothing she’d experienced before.
So real, so honest, so very, very emotional, Micki thought, as her imminent climax built higher and higher, his pace ever more frenzied until he came inside her. He thrust upward one last time, taking her along with him, calling her name on a low groan that vibrated through her entire body.
“I love you,” he said, his arms still wrapped tightly around her.
She smiled. “I love you, too.”
He looked into her eyes and she knew she saw his soul there. “Marry me,” Damian said, his body still touching hers, their skin still damp.
Micki could only nod and then she laid her head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, knowing how lucky she was.
How lucky they both were.