Ella had been thrilled with the suggestion, of course, but, though Haydon was determined to devote all his attention to giving her an amazing day out at a theme park in neighbouring St Tropez, he was finding it hard to concentrate as they prepared for the day.

Dinner with Audrey had been incredible and he couldn’t help the stirrings of excitement for the start of something new. It wasn’t a relationship that was at all practical, and he had to keep reminding himself of that, but he’d make the most of it in any way he could. He’d been so beaten by Janine leaving him, so lonely and insecure for so long since the divorce, that he’d hardly been able to pluck up the courage to get himself back out and dating again. And even if all meeting Audrey this week led to was one or two lovely dinners, then it was a start. It was the new confidence it had given him that was buoying him up this morning, and he couldn’t deny that he was looking forward to seeing her again more than perhaps he ought to for a romance that could only be a holiday one at best.

And then thoughts of holiday romances suddenly took him back to Ashley again. The previous morning on the beach with her and Molly had been fantastic – not only for Ella, who was seriously in awe of her new friend – but for him too. And even though his thoughts this morning were filled with Audrey, there were moments when Ashley would pop in there too. But it was strange, because he couldn’t read her at all and he couldn’t understand why he’d be thinking of her that way. He’d gone to bed thinking about Audrey but his first thought on waking was of Ashley, in spite of all this. And all through breakfast he thought of Audrey, but every so often Ashley’s face would appear behind his eyes and his feelings would become confused and muddy, and he didn’t know what to think about any of it. More than once Ella had clicked her fingers in front of his face to gain his attention, and more than once he’d recognised a knowing smile. He supposed it wouldn’t have escaped her attention that he and Audrey had shared a pretty steamy kiss; it was just lucky that she couldn’t see into his head right now or she might want to disown him.

Trying hard to put his conflicted thoughts to one side, Haydon decided that his real focus for today needed to be Ella. He’d promised her a jam-packed day out and that was what he was going to give her. So they finished breakfast and hopped in the car with a bag of supplies and wound their way around precarious mountain roads with drops that made Haydon’s stomach churn, overlooking the glittering swells of a calm ocean, past fields of wildflowers, past orchards and vineyards and tiny farmhouses, past marinas full of pristine white boats and sleepy roadside cafés where old men in cloth caps played card games in the shade of trellises covered in vines. Haydon would have suggested stopping the car to get a closer look at any one of these marvels but Ella was too excited to get to their destination, and, besides, he probably wouldn’t have been able to keep his mind on any of it anyway.

‘Dad… are we lost?’ Ella asked finally, breaking into his thoughts. ‘Only I’m sure we’ve seen that café before.’

Haydon blinked as Ella pointed to a little building with a striped awning throwing shade over a collection of mismatched tables and chairs.

‘Oh…’

Pulling over, he flicked on the satnav that he’d convinced himself he didn’t need. Normally, he’d cast a glance at a map and do a pretty good job of getting where he needed to be. Perhaps if his concentration had been better his usual method would have done just as well for him this time too, but his concentration was shot and it seemed there was no way to deny it now as the screen showed him just how far they’d driven off their route.

‘Sorry. Perhaps we’ll leave this switched on,’ he said.

Giving himself a mental slap, he started the engine again. Focus, idiot! There was a time and place to daydream about what might be with a woman who was way out of his league, but this wasn’t it.

‘I’d say you didn’t want to tell him.’ Sue handed Ashley the lettuce she’d just broken up to wash.

‘Of course I want to tell him,’ Ashley hissed as she ran the tap. ‘Do we have to talk about this now?’

‘Nobody’s listening,’ Sue said. ‘And if they were it might do you a favour because it looks as if someone else is going to have to tell him if you won’t.’

‘It’s not a case of won’t; it’s a case of can’t. It was hardly my fault you turned up with Maurice yesterday and decided to stick around. And I told you, when I went over last night he wasn’t in.’

‘Considering he wasn’t in you were gone for a long time.’

‘I told you I went for a walk to clear my head. There’s no law against that, is there?’

‘No, of course not. As for me turning up with Maurice yesterday, that was hardly my fault either. Perhaps if you’d allowed me to be open with my husband about all this then—’

‘I was about to say something to Haydon when you turned up, actually,’ Ashley said, her voice rising. She checked herself and glanced at the kitchen table to where Nanette and Violette were chatting as they sliced up tomatoes from a huge bowl. ‘You know this.’

‘I’m not so sure you would have done. And you could have asked me at any time to take the girls off somewhere and we would have left you alone with Haydon to tell him.’

‘It was just all wrong after lunch,’ Ashley said huffily. ‘I’d planned it and then my plans were ruined, and if I’d done it after that it would have come out wrong.’

‘I’m not sure there’s any way for that news to come out that isn’t wrong,’ Sue shot back. ‘He’s not going to take it calmly and the longer you leave it the worse it will be.’

‘I know,’ Ashley snapped. ‘You don’t need to keep telling me that leaving it will make it worse because I know.’

Her phone bleeped the arrival of a message and she fished it from the pocket of her shorts.

‘Molly,’ she said, reading it. ‘Says she and Maurice are going to get some fish from the market. Haydon and Ella were out this morning when they called at the house and apparently they’re on their way to the theme park at St Tropez.’ She looked up at Sue. ‘That’s put paid to me going to see him today as well.’

‘I would imagine he’ll be back this evening,’ Sue said. She gave Ashley a pointed look.

‘Yes,’ Ashley sighed. Right now she knew she ought to come clean with her mum and tell her that she’d changed her mind and had no intention of getting Haydon involved in their lives, and that she just wanted to forget about him. But she couldn’t bring herself to say it, to acknowledge the betrayal she felt after seeing him with another woman, to admit just how stupid she felt for ever thinking she could trust him, not even to Sue.

Worse still, there was a part of her that she didn’t want to acknowledge, a part that was still attracted to him. She’d never thought of herself as the sort of woman who went for bad boys but right now her track record wasn’t doing much to dispel that notion. First Haydon in Ibiza, then her three-timing ex, Ethan, and now unreliable Haydon again. If things carried on this way she might need to book some therapy just to meet a decent man.

‘I know,’ she continued. ‘I should go and see him later. It’s just… how am I supposed to have this conversation if Ella is around? Besides, if I’m going over there then Molly will want to come and I have no excuse not to take her.’

‘Leave that to me,’ Sue said. ‘I’ll think of something to get the girls out of the way, but then you’d better sort this before it really gets out of hand.’

He’d tried most of the rides, even the ones that had spun him into a state of intense queasiness, but he’d had to concede defeat when it came to the huge rollercoaster that he was currently standing staring at. Ella was on there, screaming her head off, having decided that even the awkwardness of the single rider queue wasn’t going to put her off giving it a try. As she’d reminded him, once they’d returned home it wasn’t likely they would be coming back to the South of France for a long time, if at all, and she’d regret missing out if she didn’t ride the rollercoaster when she had the chance. So Haydon had watched with a small degree of awe as she’d gone off to join the special queue for those wishing to ride without their companions and almost instantly had begun a conversation in broken French and hesitant English with a girl who looked about her age. It was just another sign of how fast and how confidently she was growing up, and how, before very long, she wouldn’t need him at all.

He watched now as the cars went past with a dull rumble and a wave of screams, so fast that he had no hope of spotting Ella.

‘It looks awful, doesn’t it?’

He turned to see a woman about his age talking to him. She was watching the rollercoaster with a baby clamped to her hip and, as seemed to be the theme for today, his thoughts, momentarily, wandered to Ashley. The woman was blonde, attractive, perhaps in her mid to late twenties. It could have been her, a few years ago, with Molly in her arms. He tried to banish the image and replace it with one of a very sexy Audrey instead, suddenly feeling duplicitous and guilty without really knowing why.

‘More than a match for me.’ He smiled. ‘You didn’t fancy it either?’

‘Someone’s got to stay on the ground with the baby. It was a hard-fought competition but my husband lost and is currently on there with my son. I’ll bet he’s having the time of his life,’ she added dryly. ‘Your other half on there?’

‘Just my daughter. No other half, I’m afraid. Not now.’

‘Oh,’ the woman replied, and Haydon supposed there wasn’t much else she could say to it. With a vague smile she turned her gaze back to the coaster but Haydon could see her move ever so slightly out of range. Did she think he was going to pour all his troubles out? Did he look like a man who had a lot of trouble that needed pouring out? Oh God, what a notion, that he might look a little bit desperate!

He was spared further torment by the shrill ring of his phone. He pulled it out of his pocket to see Janine’s name on the screen.

‘Hey,’ he said, taking the call with a frown of vague surprise. ‘Everything OK?’

‘I was going to ask you that,’ Janine said. ‘Ella phoned me last night.’

‘Did she? She never mentioned it.’

‘I think you were in the shower or something at the time or I would have had a word with you then.’

‘About what?’

‘This woman you’ve met.’

Haydon blinked. ‘What?’

‘Ella says you’ve met someone.’

‘We’ve met a lot of people,’ he replied carefully, his mind racing. Of course, he’d had an inkling that Ella had been watching him and Audrey carefully, but he hadn’t expected her to report back to Janine quite so immediately.

‘Don’t be evasive,’ Janine said. ‘She says you went out for dinner together.’

‘Well, Ella was there too so it was hardly romantic.’

‘But you like her?’

‘Janine…’ He frowned. ‘Where is this going? Are you saying you don’t want me to meet up with other women because—’

‘I’m saying exactly the opposite,’ Janine interrupted. ‘I wanted to know how serious it might be.’

‘We’re on holiday so it’s not really serious at all.’

‘But if it was then I just wanted to say that would be good, and I’m happy for you.’

‘But it isn’t.’

‘No, but if it was. It’s about time you started dating.’

‘You’re feeling especially guilty about dumping me today?’ Haydon cocked an eyebrow but immediately wished his tone hadn’t been so confrontational. Often, he was thankful that he still had a good relationship with Janine when so many other divorced couples didn’t, and he was aware of how unwise it was to jeopardise that.

She laughed. ‘I’m always feeling guilty about it. Nothing new there. But I hate the thought of you being on your own.’

‘Perhaps Kevin will build me a granny flat in your garden.’

‘Haydon… Please be serious for one minute.’

‘Is that all you’ve phoned me for?’

‘Does there need to be another reason? I just wanted to offer my support, that’s all.’

‘It’s just… phoning me for that. You’re sure there’s nothing else?’

There was another pause at Janine’s end and Haydon felt that kick of vague dread that the next thing out of her mouth was going to be something he wouldn’t like. She’d have been in regular contact with Ella during their time apart, but phoning Haydon… well, it wasn’t something she’d ordinarily feel the need to do. Was she really that happy about the prospect of him finding a girlfriend?

He looked up and realised that the rollercoaster had come to a halt. Ella climbed out of a car and dashed towards him.

‘Listen, much as I don’t want to cut you off I’m at a theme park with Ella right now. I’m not sure this is the best place to be having deep and meaningful conversations about my existential crises or anything else. Maybe you want to call me later with anything else you need to discuss?’

‘It’s OK,’ Janine said. ‘That was all I wanted really, to say that I want you to be happy, and if you meet a woman you don’t need to feel guilty about it. Ella seems to think there’s a spark of something between you and this girl you’ve met. If you like her you should do something about it because I don’t think you would if you thought it might affect me or Ella. And it wouldn’t affect either of us, except to make us worry about you less because you’d find a little bit of happiness.’ Janine sighed. ‘I don’t know that I’m getting this across very well, but do you see what I mean?’

‘I see what you mean.’

‘Right. That’s it. Tell Ella that I’ll call her later to hear all about the theme park.’

‘I will. And Janine…’

‘Yeah?’

‘Thanks.’

‘No need. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.’

‘That was amazing!’ Ella squeaked as Haydon ended the call and put his phone away. ‘You should try it with me!’

‘You have got to be kidding,’ he said with a warm smile. Little Ella, taking everything in. She really was growing up faster than even he’d given her credit for. ‘How about we get a hot dog or something instead – I’m starving.’

She nodded. ‘Who was on the phone?’ she asked as they began to walk in the direction of a cluster of fast-food huts.

‘Your mother.’

‘Oh,’ Ella said, colouring. ‘What did she want?’

Haydon could have used the opportunity to quiz Ella and ask why she’d felt compelled to tell Janine about Audrey, but he wasn’t annoyed. Far from it, he was touched that Ella had felt the need to share her hopes for his happiness with her mum.

‘She just wanted to know if we were having a good time,’ he said.

‘Oh, OK. And you told her we were?’

‘Of course – what else was I going to say? I’m having an amazing time.’

‘Me too.’ Ella smiled. ‘The best.’

‘Right then, so there’s nothing to worry about, is there?’

‘No.’

Ella slipped her arm through his and yanked him playfully towards a burger bar. ‘Can we have burgers instead of hot dogs?’

He smiled down at her. What she’d told Janine led him to believe she wanted him and Audrey to get together, but it wasn’t that simple. Ella wasn’t yet fourteen. She was still full of faith, full of belief in the magic of dreams and wishes, still thought that if you wanted something it would be enough to make it happen, and to learn life wasn’t like that was no lesson he wanted to teach her at such a tender age.

‘Right,’ he said, putting the matter firmly out of his mind. ‘Burgers all round and then maybe, just maybe, you might persuade me to try that rollercoaster after all.’

Sue’s best-laid plans had come to nothing. At her behest Molly had sent Ella a text that evening inviting her out for a game of boules in a local park only to be told that Ella was so exhausted from her day at the theme park she’d developed a headache and couldn’t bring herself to go anywhere at all, not even with Molly. So while Molly sulked about Ella’s no-show, Sue and Maurice had decided to take her and Bastien out for supper at the harbour (the prospect of a dinner with Bastien going some way to soothing her disappointment), leaving Ashley at a loose end.

She’d tried reading a book, and she’d tried sitting quietly on the swing seat in the garden as the sun set, and she’d even tried chatting to Nanette and Violette, but she couldn’t settle. Her mum was right – she needed to see Haydon. Perhaps it was unfair to take the decision away from Molly and him about whether they got to know each other by telling neither of them the truth of their relationship. Nonetheless, knowing what she knew now about Haydon’s fickleness, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it.

But there was no denying that she’d never be able to settle with the secret hanging over her. If Ella was tired and unwell, perhaps she’d be out of the way, leaving Haydon free at least long enough for Ashley to say what she needed to say and then leave. After that it didn’t really matter, she supposed, because it was the telling that was the important thing now. Once he knew the truth it was his call.

Pulling a cardigan around her, she slipped out of the house before anyone could ask where she was going. Easier that way, and certainly less complicated than trying to make up some convoluted lie or, worse still, having to put Nanette off when she decided she wanted to go for Ashley’s ‘walk for some air’ with her.

The sun sat on the horizon, orange and plump, bronzing the field as she crossed it. Amongst the grasses she could hear the crickets getting louder and the odd rustle that reminded her she needed to keep an eye on what was sharing the grass with her. But now that she was on her way she just wanted to get there before she lost her nerve and the paths around the field would take too long.

But how did you begin a conversation like the one she was planning to have? Hi, Haydon, remember that night we shagged like absolute idiots with no protection? Well, ta da! Or, You seem to like kids, which is lucky because here’s one you didn’t know about!

Before she’d worked out that crucial first sentence, Haydon’s holiday villa was in front of her. Ashley took a deep breath and pushed open the iron gates. The garden smelt of honeysuckle and jasmine. The house seemed quiet and still, and if Molly hadn’t already checked Ashley would have sworn nobody was at home. She was about to knock on the door when it swung open.

‘Ashley?’ Haydon looked confused to see her. He probably was, Ashley reflected, but it was nothing compared to how he was going to feel in a few minutes.

‘Are you psychic?’ she asked.

‘What? Oh, no.’ He smiled. ‘I was just taking Ella some paracetamol and a drink and I noticed you from her bedroom window. I’m a bit surprised to see you here, though. Is there anything I can do for you?’ he asked, glancing up the path behind her. ‘You’re not with Molly?’

‘No. She’s gone into town with my mum. Is Ella OK?’

‘Oh she’s fine. A bit headachy and exhausted but we had a pretty packed day out so she probably just needs a nap. She’s in bed now trying to get forty winks.’

‘She won’t sleep tonight,’ Ashley said with a frown. God, she sounded just like a mum. ‘Sorry, not my place to lecture – ignore me.’

‘It’s only what my ex would say if she was here,’ he said.

‘Mums always think of stuff like that.’

‘I know. So… you want to come in? I mean, I’m guessing you haven’t come all this way to stand on the doorstep?’

Ashley nodded and stepped in as he moved out of the way to admit her.

‘You want a cold drink?’ he asked. ‘Or I’ve just opened some wine?’

‘Wine sounds nice.’

‘I’m camped out in the back garden; it’d be a crying shame to waste this sunset.’

‘Yes,’ Ashley said, following him out to the garden. This villa was so different to the one she was sharing with Maurice’s family – neat and precise and organised, apart from Haydon and Ella’s belongings, which were scattered everywhere – but though she noticed this it was a vague, half-formed observation that floated across her thoughts. The garden was the same – well-ordered shrubberies and straight paths lined by immaculate borders and actual gardens as opposed to Violette’s rambling tangles of herbs and wildflowers. She liked Violette’s chaos better, though – it made her feel comfortable.

She sat at the table on the patio while he went to get another glass. Rivulets ran down the side of the wine bottle he must have just fetched out of the fridge, forming a little puddle on the mosaic tiles of the table. A moment later he emerged from the house again and poured two drinks, handing one to her. She took it and wondered why she was bothering. Why not just get it over with? What good was drinking wine with him when she had something so huge to get off her chest? She was only delaying the inevitable – that he would want nothing more to do with her when he learned the truth. He might not even believe her, and she couldn’t say she’d blame him. She had no proof to offer except for Molly’s existence – at least not here and now. What if he thought she was somehow trying to trap him? That she’d spotted an opportunity to improve her situation at his expense? What if he thought she fancied him gullible? Vulnerable after his divorce? What if he lost his temper?

Now that she was here Ashley wasn’t sure she could go through with this at all. And yet if she didn’t her mother would do the job for her and that would only make it a hundred times worse. Sue wasn’t exactly famed for her tact and she had no love for Haydon or his feelings right now. It was lucky Ashley hadn’t told Sue about seeing him kiss another woman, and even as this thought occurred to her the memory of the event made her face burn with the shame of her trusting stupidity.

Taking a sip, she watched him as he watched her, trying to gauge his mood, trying to see how this might go. But then he spoke, and it threw her thoughts into complete disarray.

‘Ashley…’ he began. And he suddenly seemed nervous, desperate almost. ‘I’m actually really glad you’ve come because… Well, there’s something I need to tell you. I’ll admit that when I first saw you after all these years I didn’t know how to feel. I probably reacted badly and said the wrong things, but, you see, I was in shock. I’m sure you were too…’

‘Yes, but—’ she cut in, and he held up a hand.

‘Please, I need to say this before I bottle it.’

Ashley blinked. Hadn’t she come to say the awkward thing? Wasn’t she the one who should need to talk, who ought to be afraid of losing her nerve? What reason did he have to be anxious?

‘I can’t stop thinking about you,’ he said, the words rushing out like air from a balloon. ‘I’ve tried – God knows I’ve tried – but I can’t. And I’m sure it’s not what you want to hear but I think… I thought… that night we spent together was incredible and afterwards… and then seeing you again, well…’ He brushed a shaking hand through his hair and then took a gulp of his drink. ‘I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear this and I shouldn’t be saying it.’

‘What?’ Ashley stared at him.

‘It’s crazy, isn’t it?’

‘It’s more than crazy!’ Ashley hissed. ‘I don’t believe I’m hearing this! Do you honestly think I’m that stupid?’

It was Haydon’s turn to stare. ‘I don’t understand…’

‘I saw you! I saw you with that woman last night – and that’s completely fine, none of my business – but now you tell me this! You tell me this after I saw you in full view of the world kissing another woman and you tell me you can’t stop thinking about me? What’s wrong with you?’

‘Ashley…’ he began, but shrank back at the fury in her expression. ‘Audrey… it was just a friendly dinner… I didn’t know when I asked her that I’d feel this way. We went out last night because it had already been organised but today when I should have been thinking of her, I kept thinking of you. I’m going to tell her later—’

‘You’re going to tell her later? You really do think I’m a mug, don’t you? I wonder if you would have bothered telling her if I hadn’t seen you? Or would you have strung both of us along for the week and then never phoned again once you went back to England?’

‘No, of course not! Why would you think that?’

Ashley stared at him. And then she threw her hands in the air.

‘What’s the point?’

With that, she got up and marched for the gates.