By the time the search party arrived back at Madame Dupont’s house every member of it knew about Ashley and Haydon and their secret. Nobody said so, but Ashley could see it in the way they looked at her and in the way everyone carefully avoided any sort of conversation that might bring it out into the open for general discussion. It was obvious, really, that somebody would have asked what the hell was going on and Maurice or Haydon would have had to put them straight.

So on their return there were words of relief and words of reprimand for the teens and even talk of restarting the celebrations that had gone so badly awry, but no words on the girl who stood before them now and who knew for the first time in her life who her father was. Or the other girl who stood before them, suddenly robbed of the privileges of being an only daughter and faced with a new, uncertain relationship with the father she’d wrongly thought she’d known completely. And certainly no words on Ashley, who had expected judgement at the very least but was served with none. Throughout her stay with Madame Dupont she had experienced nothing but kindness and tonight, despite the drama and revelations, that didn’t change. It was a relief, but if it had been any different she could have borne it knowing that Haydon was OK with her. But she didn’t think he was. The fact was she still didn’t know where she stood, despite him calling them all together to talk in a secluded corner of the garden as festivities got underway again elsewhere.

Lanterns swung in a gentle breeze from the trees that they sat beneath, flickering shadows dancing on the lawns and the strains of music as the little band struck up again reaching their ears. Whenever she recalled this moment in a future that she couldn’t yet see, Ashley would always remember the sweet smell of the grass, layered with lavender and rosemary and wildflowers from Violette’s unruly gardens. The breeze would rise and fall, bringing the fragrances to meet her senses in waves. Right now, as Molly and Ella fired questions at the adults, which they did their best to answer as honestly and delicately as they could, Ashley couldn’t think of the scents of an evening garden at all, only of how on earth they were ever going to move on from this day.

Haydon would pause at every new question directed at him and he would glance at Ashley, as if trying to telegraph what his answer was going to be in the hope of her approval. But of course, she couldn’t know for sure what he was going to say – she could only trust that he’d make it the right thing. The girls nodded in the appropriate places. Sometimes they were quiet, and sometimes they talked over one another, words tumbling out as quickly as the thoughts that formed them. There were so many questions, sometimes just the same ones asked in different ways, but they amounted to one huge fear that all four of them were, in their own way, trying to articulate. What did the future hold for them now that they were a family?

Haydon was giving nothing away, his attention wholly dedicated to his daughters, who each wanted and needed his approval, to know that they were each as important as the other. If Ashley had been a more selfish woman she would have wanted this bit to be over so she could talk to him alone and find out what the future held for them as a couple, but that wouldn’t be right or fair. Their priority had to be the girls, but it was increasingly hard to remember that when all she could do was look at him and desperately wish for a sign that his feelings towards her hadn’t changed in light of all that had happened.

‘Is it weird?’ Molly asked. ‘That I sort of knew?’

‘Really?’ Ashley raised her eyebrows and exchanged a glance with Haydon.

‘I didn’t know, of course. But when Bastien told me I sort of wasn’t really surprised.’

‘Why?’ Haydon asked.

‘Just the way Mum looked at you sometimes. And all that whispering between her and my grandma in the garden away from everyone. And the fact that grandma always looked like someone had shoved a wedge of lemon in her mouth whenever she saw you.’

Haydon let out a low chuckle. ‘She did that, but I’m not surprised, all things considered.’

‘If she hadn’t given the game away would you have told me?’ Molly asked, directing a frank gaze at Ashley that made her want to squirm.

‘I wanted to from the start but… the time never seemed right.’

‘So you were going to tell me?’

‘Of course I was.’

Ashley glanced away to find Haydon looking at her in the same way. Was he thinking that too? Was he wondering if she had ever planned to tell him? And if he was, did that mean he couldn’t trust her now?

‘It was just difficult,’ Ashley continued. ‘With everything else going on. I was always going to tell you both… And I would have talked to you afterwards, Ella,’ she added, seeing that Ella’s gaze had gone to the floor. It wasn’t difficult to see that this was just another way in which Ella felt left out, as if she was surplus to her dad’s new life. ‘To make sure you were OK with it.’ She paused. ‘Are you OK with it?’

Ella shrugged. ‘I guess.’ She looked at Molly, who smiled.

‘I’ve got a sister. That’s so weird.’

‘I know,’ Ella replied, a small smile of her own now breaking free.

Haydon was about to reply when his phone bleeped. He frowned as he read the message.

‘Your mum,’ he said, glancing up at Ella. ‘I’d better phone her or she’ll be on the next flight out here.’

As he got up Ashley opened her mouth to speak. She wanted to ask him if that was the end of their talk. She wanted to ask him whether he had words for her, what his thoughts were, what he wanted for them, because in the whole time they’d been discussing this with Molly and Ella he hadn’t mentioned their relationship once. But her courage failed her again, and she let him go without a word.

---

In the end the party took over. Maurice came to fetch the girls to join in again and insisted that Ashley return to the celebrations rather than sitting alone waiting for Haydon to finish what might turn out to be a lengthy phone call. Aware that she’d already put a significant dent in any goodwill her hostess and the other guests might have had towards her by managing to pretty much single-handedly set off the chain of events that had almost ruined the party, she realised that the best thing she could do now was to go back to the celebration, explain and apologise.

It promised to be awkward but was far from it. The attitude of earlier as they’d all returned from searching for Molly and Bastien, the collective, unconscious decision not to judge, was still in evidence and it took Ashley by surprise. She’d expected some disapproval, some raised eyebrows or whispering behind hands, but every single person she spoke to had nothing but genuine pleasure at how things had turned out. It was a miracle, some said, and a marvel, others decided, that a father and daughter should be reunited after all these years when it had once looked so hopeless, and that Ashley and Haydon should rediscover their long-lost love. She wasn’t quite sure about that last bit, but she smiled and gracefully accepted the good wishes and wondered where Haydon had got to every time she had a spare moment to check her watch. By now he’d been gone for over an hour and surely he couldn’t still be talking to his ex-wife?

Frequently her gaze went to Ella and Molly, who seemed to be getting fussed over at every opportunity by any guest who could get their hands on them. After all the drama, they both seemed to be dealing with things well – even giggling together at times – and neither seemed too concerned that their dad was now missing instead. There was real hope that they would one day become as close as sisters who’d grown up together, of that Ashley was certain. At least it was one thing to feel positive about.

When she could stand it no more, she sent a quick text to him.

Nothing. Not that she expected a lightning-fast response, but as she stared at the phone, willing him to reply, she couldn’t help but be disappointed that he wasn’t, perhaps, waiting for her to send him a message.

Seeking out her mum and finding her washing dishes with Nanette, the pair of them chatting and laughing as they did their best to keep Aunt Violette’s house as orderly as possible, Ashley beckoned her over.

‘Haydon hasn’t come back yet,’ she said quietly.

‘He’s gone out?’ Sue asked, frowning.

‘He went to phone Ella’s mum.’

‘But that was ages ago.’

‘Exactly. I’m worried he’s freaking out somewhere.’

Sue looked as if she was about to deliver some scathing comment, but then her features softened again.

‘Shall I ask Maurice to do a little recce to see if he can find him? He’s getting a lot of practice at that these days so he ought to be an expert,’ she added with a wry smile.

Ashley shook her head. ‘Just keep an eye on the girls for me? I’m going to have a walk around outside, see if I can find him. He’s probably just gone somewhere for an hour by himself and that’s fine – I know exactly how he feels – but I want to make sure he’s OK.’

‘Right.’ Sue leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the cheek. ‘Be careful, won’t you?’

‘I’m always careful these days,’ Ashley said. ‘But maybe that’s part of the problem.’

---

As Ashley stepped off the veranda of Madame Dupont’s house her phone pinged the arrival of a text message. She whipped it from her pocket, relief flooding through her as she saw that it was Haydon.

There was no reply. Ashley left it for a moment as she walked in the direction of his villa. The lights were out so she guessed that he wasn’t there, but in the absence of any other good ideas, she was heading over to check anyway. As she walked she sent another text.

Another pause. She was about to tap out another message when his reply finally came through.

Ashley put away her phone, changed direction and picked up the pace.

Twenty minutes later she found him. He was sitting on a rock at the edge of the sand, staring out to sea where the silver orb of the moon left trails of diamond dust scattered over the gentle waves. The shadow of a single boat bobbed on the horizon, strings of lights around the mast and boom reflecting onto the black ocean it danced upon, the faintest sounds of music from that direction echoing across the bay. Perhaps there was some sort of party going on aboard, but it was only the vaguest thought running through her head as he turned at the sound of her footsteps.

‘Mind if I join you?’ she asked.

‘Would it make a difference if I said yes?’

Ashley baulked. She’d expected him to be confused and she’d been prepared for rejection, but she hadn’t expected hostility.

‘Sorry, I’ll—’

‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Of course I don’t mind.’

‘You don’t really mean that, though.’

‘I don’t know what I mean. I don’t know if I even recognise my life any more, let alone how to say the right things to people.’

‘But you handled it so well… back there with Molly and Ella…’

‘That’s my job, though, isn’t it? I could hardly freak out. I’m their dad, and if they can’t rely on me then who can they rely on?’

‘But I thought…’

‘That I was OK? So did I at first.’

Ashley perched next to him. The rocks were sharp and cold and she wriggled to get comfortable.

‘Would you rather have never known?’

‘Ignorance is bliss they say, which would be fine, but I can’t go back to being ignorant now, so I can’t say whether I’d rather not know because I do know. You know?’

‘Yes.’ Ashley followed his gaze out to sea with a small smile. ‘I’m not expecting anything from you. That’s not why I told you.’

‘You might not be but the fact remains that I am morally obliged to offer… well, things. All sorts of stuff.’

‘No you’re not. Molly and me have got by just fine this far.’

‘Which is the first and biggest injustice. You’re hardly making me feel better about all this by saying that. I should have been there for her – for you.’

‘It wasn’t your fault.’

‘It wasn’t yours either.’

‘True. We can’t change that now; we can only go forward.’

‘Which means?’

‘You’re doing it now. You’re thinking about it and you recognise that you have new priorities, which is the only way you can start.’

‘And then what?’

Ashley paused. ‘I don’t know. I suppose we’ll just have to take it one day at a time.’

‘But what am I supposed to do with all those days? What’s expected of me? I can’t be a part of Molly’s life and Ella’s life in the way I should because there’s just no way I can split myself fairly. Who do I prioritise? Molly, who’s owed so much lost time, or Ella, who will feel rejected and overlooked if she thinks I’m giving too much time to Molly?’

‘I don’t know the answer to that either. I suppose eventually things will just work.’

‘And if there’s… if there’s us,’ he said slowly. ‘If we happen, if we end up living together… I don’t know if Ella will be able to deal with that. She’ll feel more pushed out than ever because it will mean that Molly has me there all the time and all she’s got is the occasional weekend. Not even that when she moves to London with her mum and Kevin. I’ve been so scared of losing Ella and the irony is she might be losing me.’

‘That’s not your fault and she’ll understand that.’

‘But will she?’

Ashley wanted to ask if that meant there was still a chance for them, but as she framed the words his next sentence left them forgotten again.

‘Janine’s expecting.’

‘What?’

He nodded. ‘Ella already knew before we came on holiday but Janine had sworn her to secrecy until she’d worked out how to tell me herself. Poor Ella – it must have been so hard for her not to say anything. I can’t believe Janine would do that to her. But it explains why the news about Molly hit her so hard. She must feel like she’s being pushed out in all directions – first a new baby for her mum and Kevin, and then Molly.’

‘So when did you find out about Janine? Did Ella tell you?’

‘No. She’d never do that if her mum had asked her not to. Janine just told me when I phoned her. She said seeing how we were sharing secret kids she ought to tell me. I think she was trying to have a pop at me, truth be told, but once it was out I think she regretted the way it happened. But it’s out now so…’

‘God. I don’t know what to say.’

‘It’s been one hell of a night, that’s for sure.’

‘How do you feel about it?’

‘Numb. My brain tells me I ought to be able to feel something but I can’t seem to make sense of anything. Like there’s so much to take in that it’s all a big jumble and I can’t focus on any of it.’

Instinctively, she reached to lay a hand on his. ‘If you want to talk, I’ve got all the time in the world.’

He looked at her, the moonlight casting shadows on his face. There was pain in his eyes and she wished she could take it from him.

‘I don’t know that I want to talk,’ he said. ‘I’ve done so much talking already I’m sick of it.’

‘What can I do to help then? Name it.’

He said nothing. Reaching across, he took her face in his hands and planted a soft kiss on her lips. Then another, and another, until they were kissing like they might never kiss again. He pulled her close, his scent and the smell of the ocean mingling, and as fireworks erupted from the boat out on the glittering sea, they fell to the sand together.