“Where are we?” I slid off the bike. Charm had taken so many turns that I’d become disoriented and doubted that I could’ve found my way back to the lodge even if he paid me.

We were surrounded by trees in every direction and had gone off the main road a few miles back, ending up in the middle of the wilderness.

He put the kickstand down and grinned. “You’ll see. C’mon.” He walked off the narrow road and disappeared into the trees.

I set my helmet on the bike and reluctantly followed him in. There was a small path that wasn’t visible from the road and we walked along in silence until we reached a clearing with a lake surrounded by stone. It was nature’s version of an in-ground pool. The sunlight made the surface shimmer and Charm turned around to study my reaction.

“Oh my god, it’s beautiful. I’ve never seen a lake like this before.”

His lip turned up in a small smile, but he remained silent.

I didn’t do well with silence, so I talked to fill the space. “I was thinking, maybe I could start doing the shopping—that is, if it’s okay with you. I’d kind of like to get myself some clothes too—not that I don’t appreciate what I’ve got. No, I just thought—”

“You ramble when you’re nervous, you know that?” His face was unreadable as he continued, without waiting for a response. “Who was in the fire, Neve?”

I looked away and whispered, “Pass,” but he hooked a finger under my chin and brought my face up to meet his. I didn’t want to talk about it, but seeing as to how I already knew most of his secrets, it was only fair to give him one of mine.

I swallowed, feeling as if I was choking as I replied, “My parents.”

His eyes searched my face and, for a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw sadness in them. “It wasn’t just a dream, was it?”

I blinked at the sudden tears that formed and shook my head. “No…it wasn’t.”

Charm nodded, as if he’d known the answer all along. “You blame yourself—why?”

“Because I got out and they didn’t!” I blurted and then immediately covered my mouth. I hadn’t ever spoken the words aloud. I’d spent the last year with a dull ache in my chest and guilt that never lessened.

The fire had been my fault.

“Miss, can you hear me?” The man asked, as he knelt beside me.

Light flickered at the corner of my eye and I turned to see my childhood home engulfed in flames. They’d gotten out—surely they’d made it out. Paramedics yelled over me and I wanted to tell them to go back inside and make sure my parents were safe.

It was nothing more than a little smoke inhalation.

An oxygen mask was strapped to my face as I struggled to sit up. The yellow man pushed me back down and this time, I didn’t fight him. I only caught a quick glance, but it was enough to keep me from moving. The skin on my thighs was blackened and curled up, revealing the muscle underneath.

I felt nothing.

“You ever been cliff jumping?”

I shook my head and frowned at him as I came back to the present.

What the hell was he talking about?

One minute, he was asking me about my dead parents. The next, cliff jumping. I was going to get whiplash just from his conversation skills.

He pointed toward a grouping of rocks on the other side of the lake. “Roaring Springs River feeds into this—it’s actually a rock bowl, not a lake. And back over there, is a small trail leading up to the cliff.”

I continued to stare blankly at him until he grew frustrated and began shouting while pointing. “Cliff jumping, Neve. You and me, we could climb up and jump off—it’s about a twenty foot drop and the water is frigid, but it could be fun.”

I held up my hand. “You want me to jump off a perfectly good cliff and into freezing water?”

He nodded earnestly. “Yeah.”

I frowned again. “But I don’t have a swimsuit.”

Or a last will and testament typed up and ready.

He grinned and began walking toward the hiking trail. I called out after him, “I wasn’t agreeing!”

He continued and I had to run to keep up, which then made me realize how out of shape I was. The trail began to inch upwards and I could see the river on the other side of the cliff. The rapids swirled violently and I resisted the urge to cling to the back of Charm’s cut-off.

One misstep and I’d be at the mercy of unforgiving waters. I shivered and looked away. When we reached the top, Charm stripped off his vest and shirt. Dark ink connected in swirls across his muscular body—obliviating everything around us, and leaving me gasping for breath as if I’d already gone under.

“Um, is that necessary?” I squeaked out.

His head cocked to the side. “You wanna ride home in wet clothes?”

I shook my head slowly. “I sort of thought I’d just stay up here and watch you do it. I wasn’t planning on getting in though.”

He laughed, showing nearly all of his teeth. “Oh, Sweetheart. You’re going in.”

Most men could say sweetheart in a complimentary way; with Charm, there was always this condescending undertone.

I shook my head vehemently and took a tentative step backward.

He moved toward me. “How about this? You jump and I let you start doing the shopping on your own. That would include a budget for new clothes.”

I almost agreed, until I remembered the reaction I’d gotten before when the other bikers had seen my thighs. “I—I can’t.”

His gaze dropped down and I cringed. One of the guys must’ve already told him. “How about this? I go first and then you. I’ll come back up and get your clothes right after and you can stay in the water.”

He unfastened his jeans and then stopped, clearly waiting for me to answer. I forced my gaze away from his hands. “Okay. You have to go first though.”

Charm nodded and took off his boots and socks before sliding the jeans down his hips. He kicked them into a small pile and then grinned wickedly at me. I was just contemplating what his reaction would be if I threw caution to the wind and fell into his arms as he stepped to the edge and jumped off.

Holy hell.

He didn’t even give me a warning. I was lost in thoughts of him being an underwear model in another life and then he was gone. I stepped over to the edge and he waved up at me. “Your turn, Sweetheart!”

I turned away and raised my middle finger in the air, resisting the urge to scream in frustration. I’d made the mistake of looking down…all the way down.

That was only twenty feet?

With shaking hands, I pulled Charm’s jacket and my Juicy t-shirt off and then reluctantly removed the rest. Here I was—standing in my underwear on the edge of a cliff during the last week of August.

I stepped to the edge and took a deep breath. I could do this.

“Neve! I’m freezing my ass off down here! Hurry up!”

One.

Two.

Three.

I prayed that I didn’t land on Charm or any sharp rocks and stepped off. My stomach jumped into my chest, giving me the same sensation I’d had on the bike of being on a roller coaster. It was terrifying, but as icy water flooded my nose and jolted my system, I suddenly wanted very much to do it again.

As I pushed my body up to the surface, coughing and spluttering, I realized that I’d experienced the same feelings as when I was high.

I’d felt something while sober that I would’ve thought impossible.

Happiness.

“I did it,” I breathed.

“You damn sure did, honey.” I opened my eyes to see that Charm had not gotten out to go get our clothes, as he’d promised, but was instead swimming closer to me, a big smile plastered across his face.

Five.

I’d made him smile five times now.

My teeth chattered from the water and I kicked my feet to try and warm myself up. “I’m dying of hypothermia over here. Weren’t you going to get our clothes?”

Please don’t come any closer.

I wasn’t capable of fighting my feelings anymore. Not when he looked at me like that.

Charm grinned as he moved ever closer. “You’re shivering. That’s a good indicator that you’re not hypothermic.”

My mouth dropped open. “How did you know that?”

He reached out and pulled me closer to him, rubbing my arms to get the blood flowing. “I’ve been doing some reading lately—you know, science stuff.”

I bobbed my head and murmured, “Science stuff.”

Something softened in Charm’s expression as he watched me piece it together and I suddenly felt hot in spite of the frigid water.

His hand came up and cupped my cheek and then his mouth was on mine. It didn’t matter how many times I’d imagined it; nothing lived up to the reality of him kissing me. It was like jumping off of that cliff all over again. He kissed like he wrote—with a fiery passion that I’d never experienced before or ever would again in my lifetime.

My lips parted as his tongue pushed its way past my lips, taking anything and everything I had to offer while his hand held my head immobile. The stubble on his face was abrasive, but I was lost in the moment, too far gone to care. He reluctantly pulled back and my numb fingertips trailed across his pecs, as he lightly kissed a trail down the curve of my neck.

I forgot about the cold and guided his mouth back up to mine, wrapping my arms around his neck as I pulled him closer. My legs locked around his waist and my hips rolled forward, seeking. His hands explored my body before connecting with my ass. With a low growl against my lips, he dug in, crushing me up against what I’d sought only moments before.

I could’ve stayed like that for an eternity, but then I thought of the girl from the notebook and the heat that had flooded my body was replaced with guilt.

Rae.

I forced myself to use her name. She wasn’t just some girl; she possessed something that I never could—his heart.

And this was wrong.

I abruptly pulled away. “I can’t.”

He leaned back, panting, as beads of water ran down his face. I expected him to argue, but he didn’t. He just stared down at me, as if waiting for an explanation.

I continued rambling. “It’s just that these stitches—Doc said not to submerge them and well, I’m pretty sure that this counts as submersion.”

I’d been cleared for weeks and the stitches had dissolved even before then, but I couldn’t give him the real reason without revealing my duplicitous behavior.

Charm nodded and began paddling toward the edge. “I’ll just grab your clothes.”

He climbed out and shook himself off, still refusing to make eye contact with me.

I was trying to lighten the somber mood that had settled over us, so I said the first stupid thing that popped into my head. “That water is ridiculously cold, isn’t it?”

He glanced down at the front of his boxer briefs and then scowled. “It wasn’t that cold.”

I hadn’t meant it like that, but I snorted with laughter regardless, before slipping underwater. When I resurfaced, Charm was trudging angrily up the trail toward our clothes.

“Come back. It’s cool.” I called up to him with a giggle as I pulled myself up onto the warm rocks near the edge. Thanks to a steady diet of sweets and the effects of the artic water, my breasts were fighting to break free from the confines of my bra.

I laid back and let the stone warm my back, my teeth still chattering, from both the water and my close encounter of the Charm kind. I’d messed everything up. Why couldn’t he have just been an asshole? Why’d he have to go and show an interest in my life? And where was Rae? She’d gotten sick, but that didn’t mean anything. I hadn’t built up the courage to skip ahead in the journal again.

Maybe deep down I didn’t want the truth.

A shadow passed over me and I sat up as Charm tossed my clothes over. He was fully dressed again, as if nothing had happened. “Get your clothes on and we’ll head back.”

I turned so he couldn’t see my legs and began the arduous task of pulling denim over damp skin. “Did you warm up?” I peeked over my shoulder and his expression turned murderous.

“Jesus, Sweetheart. It wasn’t that bad.”

I choked back a laugh long enough to say, “That’s what she said.”

He stared me down, his lips remaining in a solemn line.

Tough crowd.

I turned away and pulled my shirt over my head, fighting to keep the giggles in. Once I was fully dressed, he started back down the trail toward the bike, not bothering to see if I was keeping up or not.

“You know it’s okay, right? Fifty-two percent of men will—”

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” he growled.

I clapped my hands and jumped up and down. “That’s what she said—no, wait. That’s what he said? That’s what one of them said!”

I liked frustrating him. Like an annoying little sister. A guy like Charm needed someone to bring him down a few pegs. And the quickest way to forget the most amazing kiss of my life, was to convince myself that I could never be seen as anything more than the annoying junkie who’d shown up and killed the bachelor vibe at the clubhouse.

I kept pace with him, even though it was obvious he was trying to get away from me. “Slow down. Let’s talk about it.”

He walked faster, so I added, “I’m sorry.”

“Fuck off, Neve,” was his response.

“Wait up,” I panted as I jogged behind him. “Let me be your friend.”

I’d meant it as a joke, but it came out laced in desperation.

He reached the motorcycle and tossed me the helmet. “With friends like you, I damn sure wouldn’t need any enemies. Let’s go.”

I nodded stupidly and put my helmet on, thankful yet again that he couldn’t see my face as my cheeks burned with embarrassment. I’d tried to make friends with him and put my personal feelings aside, but that kiss had only confused things further.

He belonged to someone else and a man like Charm couldn’t be shared. The problem was lying in the pleasure center of my brain. I’d had a hit of him and there was no coming back from that.

I was a full-blown addict now.