“Here we are, Mr. Ryan. See? She’s just sleeping.” The nurse patted me on the arm before stepping out and sliding the door shut behind her, leaving us alone.

All the walls were made of glass and as I looked over at her, I couldn’t help but think that it looked as if she was lying in a glass coffin.

It was Rae all over again, but Neve looked so much worse. Various tubes and wires ran from her body to a machine that was breathing for her. Her cheek was so swollen that it almost engulfed the lower part of her eye and the forehead that I had kissed more times than I could count was an angry shade of red. The nurse told me that they suspected she’d OD’ed and then fallen down the stairs, but the dead bodies back at the clubhouse made me think something else had gone down.

Something I was absolutely going to get to the bottom of.

“Christ.” I managed to croak as I moved around the bed, trying to get closer to her. “What the fuck happened, honey?” I lightly brushed the hair back off of her face with my hand before dropping to my knees on the linoleum floor. I would’ve given anything to have her sit up in bed and begin spouting off stupid facts.

Hell, I would’ve even settled for a ‘that’s what she said’ joke.

I found a chair in the corner and pulled it over to the bed with a loud scrape. I’d hoped the noise would jolt her awake, but she didn’t even move. She was just there; completely blank. I gently took her hand in mine and was struck by the realization of how small she was compared to me.

She’d needed a protector and I hadn’t been there.

I cleared my throat. She needed to hear that I was strong and not falling apart. “They said I should talk to you—because people in comas can still hear what’s going on around them.” My voice cracked and I rubbed at my eyes. “Well, I need you to hear me, honey. I need you to wake up and tell me what happened. Tell me who did this to you so I can fuckin’ end them.”

I brushed away the rogue tears on my cheeks and pressed a soft kiss to the back of her hand. “I know we ain’t talked about this, but when Rae—passed, I swore I’d find out who supplied her. It was damn near impossible to do though—I just kept hitting dead ends. Then, I overheard Luck talking on the phone one day. And I realized that he knew who killed Rae—he knew and he was fuckin’ apologizing to the bastard for it. Something about receiving the message and pulling out of this asshole’s territory.

“Rae was collateral for shit he got into and, as much as I wanted to interrupt his conversation by emptying my gun into his body, I knew the club would side with him. So, I took my time—I started at the bottom and watched it ripple into full-blown lawlessness. By the time I was done, there wasn’t a single brother that didn’t see Luck for what he truly was—a monster who’d fuckin’ sacrifice his family to get what he wanted.”

I paused and stared down at our hands joined together. I’d written some of it down, but I’d never been able to fully express what had happened back then. Seeing her like this left me with an overwhelming urge to confess it all. I tucked my lip between my teeth as I went to war with the demons in my mind all over again. For her. So she’d know the kind of man I was.

“Once I knew the club was on my side, I put my old man in the ground. I made sure he knew, as he knelt before me, that all of it was for Rae. He never would say who killed her though—said he’d tell me when we met in Hell. I did what I could by pulling the club out of everything—said we’d focus solely on the fact that SSMC owned half of Kasselhessen. We’d go straight and get by just fine, I thought.

“Well, lo and behold, I didn’t know shit. Members began defecting to other chapters and clubs, while I was still trying to get the fucking club back into the black. It turned out that I was one unlucky son-of-a-bitch. So, we got back into runnin’ semi-autos—it kept us under the radar of every fuckin’ alphabet agency around. The money we made got pooled between the businesses we owned and everybody got rich.”

Thinking about it almost made me smile. Wet behind the ears didn’t even begin to cover it—I guess I always thought that if I got rid of the whores and drugs, we’d automatically turn into a respectable club. Luck had been right when he told me the town relied upon us.

I’d scratched their back, and in return, they were always willing to keep an eye on Neve. That was just it—she’d go into town, but never once had she done anything that led me to believe she was going to relapse. Amber kept her busy, but even on the days when she was alone, Neve seemed more interested in just getting to know the town’s history.

Back then, I told myself it meant nothing, but it was impossible not to see that she’d been falling in love with the town while I was falling in love with her.

I couldn’t believe that she’d just throw away her sobriety—not after everything we’d been through. I never wanted the position of Prez, but I’d use that power to find out who put her here. No matter the cost.

I sniffed and rubbed at my eyes again. As much as I didn’t want to believe it, I was pouring my heart out to a woman who may have already gone on. “I told you that because I’m not a good man, Neve. I ain’t ever gonna be on the right side of the law—I’ve killed and as soon as I find out who did this to you, I’ll do it again. There’s so much blood on my hands that they ain’t ever fully clean, and if the feds ever catch on, we’re looking at a mile-long list of charges. The thing is, I’ve loved two women in my life—you and Rae; and I don’t fuckin’ deserve you. I’m an outlaw and I don’t think I could make up for the shit I’ve done in a million lifetimes, but I want to keep you here all the same.

“Baby, I’d gladly go through nine circles of Hell to get you back—even if it meant taking your place. I’d petition every god around to retrieve you from the underworld. See, I ain’t ever been good at running a club. Then you come along, and suddenly everything starts to go my way. You’re my lucky charm, honey and I’m keeping you forever.”

I let out a quiet sob, but held my fist to my mouth until it passed. Now, more than ever, she needed me to fight for her.

The door slid open and Gunner walked in, sucking air between his teeth when his eyes landed on her. “Fuck—give me a name and it’s done, Prez.”

I pressed another kiss to the back of her hand and stood up. “I need you to stay with her for me—don’t let her out of your sight. Joker says that Neve was able to tell him there was one more before—before she—” I clenched my jaw to rein in my emotions.

Gunner reached out and gripped my shoulder tightly. “I got this—nobody is coming against her with us here. I swear it.”

I wanted to thank him; to tell him that I trusted him with not only my life, but hers as well. Instead, I mashed my lips together and settled for a nod. Content that she was safe for the time being, I left Gunner sitting in the chair by her side and headed out into the hallway.

I just needed a minute.

I found a door marked stairs and slipped inside, sinking down onto one of the cold concrete steps with a guttural roar. My sobs echoed off the walls, each one reopening my chest a little more. I hadn’t cried like this since I lost Rae. Any moment now, my heart was going to break free and fall onto the floor.

I’d already buried my sister. If Neve didn’t pull through, I doubted that I’d make it much longer. The door opened behind me and I worked to compose myself.

“Charm?” Blade closed the door and I let out a heavy sigh. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone’s shit right now. I had this uncontrollable desire to stand up and take my grief out on his face.

“The fuck do you want, Blade?” I bit out, refusing to turn around.

He took another step closer and I fought the urge to launch myself at him, knowing it was an unwarranted attack on a fellow club member. I needed his club and the numbers; pissing him off now would destroy everything we’d worked toward.

“I was going to volunteer to sit with Neve if you wanted to head back to the clubhouse. I know you’ve got a shitload of work to be done.”

I instantly shook my head. I trusted Neve with only seven other men and despite the oath he pledged to my MC, I didn’t want him near her. “Work? I’m stayin’ here. Doc’s runnin’ things back home and, as soon as he gets shit squared away, he’ll be up here too. Now, you wanna tell me how you ended up at my clubhouse right after it happened? You were supposed to be with me.”

Blade had a great poker face; it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. “I overheard Axel mention something about Neve a few nights ago on the phone to someone—”

I’d already heard about that from Rooster, but it didn’t settle with me. Axel was someone I’d known most of my life; even before he became a prospect, I never would’ve pegged him as the violent type. And what had been done to my girl most definitely spoke of violence.

“And you never thought about reaching out to me about that shit? I never would’ve left her had I been made aware that someone was after her. And Axel? He’s been with her from day one. Why now? Why wouldn’t he have made his move months ago?” My voice remained calm, but my hands remained clenched at my sides, as if I was expecting a fight to break out at any second.

“What the fuck was I supposed to say to you? Huh? That Axel might’ve been planning something to do with your bitch or he could’ve simply been noting how great her tits looked in the dress she wore at the gathering—”

I had him pinned up against the wall before the sentence was even finished. “You talk about her like that again and any alliance we have is fuckin’ done. You hear me, motherfucker?”

My words came out in a growl as rage pushed me past the point of rationality, begging me to end him right here in this stairwell.

Blade nodded before shrugging out of my grip. “I got it, but you’d better remember who showed up in your time of need, asshole. Not any other MC, but mine. And right now, I’m your best chance at finding the guy who did this to your ol’ lady.”

I fell back into the cinderblock wall and leaned over, clutching my thighs. Why was I so hellbent on taking this out on him? He was right—if his club hadn’t shown up, the Scarred Savages and Kasselhessen would’ve been sunk. “I get it, Blade. Your club’s been good about showing up when we need them.”

He shook my hand and offered to head back to the clubhouse to see if there were any updates. Maybe he and his club could dredge up something we’d missed.