JACKSON

 

I WAKE UP that morning with a guilty consciences and a heavy heart.

I hurt Katya's feelings, and I'm not the type of guy who takes that lightly.  I don't want any woman to be upset, but especially not because of something stupid that I did.

I was a total asshole the other night, and I need to make things right.  So that's why I went through painstaking effort to surprise her tonight.  I left a note in her room asking her to go on a date with me.  I don't know if she'll meet me at seven like the note requested or not, but I'm standing nervously in the foyer of the mansion dressed up in a penguin suit and sweating my balls off from being so freaking nervous.

This is my first official date, like, ever.  And even though we can't leave the island, I still did my best to plan something special.  But if she refuses to come downstairs, then I really can't show her how sorry I am.

As seven comes and goes, I begin to get discouraged.  Maria, always the ultimate optimist, pokes her head around the corner at ten after seven and tells me, "Don't worry.  She'll be here.  Women always run late.  It keeps the men on their toes, you know."

And almost like Maria's optimism summoned her, Katya finally appears at the top of the stairs.  She looks like a golden goddess with her blonde hair in waves past her shoulders and wearing a tight, short, gold, sequin dress that emphasizes all of her best assets.  She has legs for days, and the weight she's put on the past several days while she's been here looks great on her.

She approaches me with a shy smile on her beautiful face.  "You look stunning, Katya," I tell her immediately.

"You clean up pretty well yourself, Jax," she tells me with a wink.

I hold out my arm, and she wraps her slender hand around it.  We walk outside to where the gazebo is lit up with thousands of little, twinkling lights.  Lucien wined and dined Adeline out here one night, and I know she absolutely loved it.  I'm just hoping Katya enjoys it just as much.

When I glance down at my golden goddess, she's looking all around and smiling the biggest smile I've ever seen on her beautiful face before.

Yeah, I totally nailed it, I think to myself confidently.

"One more surprise," I tell her before pulling out a long box from my inner jacket pocket.

Katya narrows her eyes suspiciously at me.  She still doesn't trust a single thing I do or say, but I'm working on changing that.  In time, she'll trust me.  We'll trust each other.

She cautiously opens the lid and gasps when she sees the light glittering off the diamonds inside.  "Jax," she gasps and lets her voice trail off.  Carefully, she pulls the gold anklet from the box and glances up at me.  "This is for me?"

"No, it's for Maria.  I just wanted to see if you liked it before I gave it to her," I quip while maintaining a straight face.

And then Katya does something so out of the ordinary for her that it makes my heart skip a beat inside my chest.

She laughs.

I smile down at her, simply in awe of her natural beauty.  She's truly amazing when she's not forcing anything.

Kneeling down on one knee in the grass, I ask, "May I?" with my hand stretched out.

She nods before slipping the anklet into my palm, apparently completely speechless.

Another first for her.

Slowly, I take her slender ankle in my other hand.  And fuck, I didn't think it would be this erotic until I realize my growing hard-on is pressing painfully against the zipper of my pants.

My fingers trail against her soft and delicate skin before I fasten the clasp.  The diamonds dance in the light around her ankle, and it's like it was made just for her.

"Perfect," I tell her before standing up and staring into her gorgeous blue eyes.

"Thank you for the gift, Jax," she whispers.

I flash her a smile.  It's so much more than a gift, but I don't want to spoil the moment.  I have an ulterior motive for the anklet, which contains a GPS chip, so that I can track Katya's whereabouts even after she leaves the island.

It was Lucien's idea since he gave something similar to Adeline in the form of a watch.  But the anklet isn't as sophisticated as Lucien's handmade creation.  I mean, that thing tracks Adeline's blood pressure, precise location and lots of other cool stuff.  Mine's nothing near as specialized or high-tech, but it will do until Lucien can craft me something better.

"I'm glad you like it," I tell her before turning and pulling out Katya's chair at the small round table inside the gazebo.  She sits down and beams up at me.  Then, I retreat to the other side and pour us both a glass of wine before having a seat.

It's an intimate setting, and it's beyond intimidating for someone like me, who has never done anything like this before.  Although, I'm not sure exactly how many dates Katya has been on.  Maybe this is new for her too.  There are so many unanswered questions I have for her, and I intend on finding out some answers very soon.

Our meal is promptly brought out, and it consists of grilled salmon, baby zucchini and rice pilaf.  I picked the menu out earlier tonight.  I just hope it's up Katya's alley.

But when she starts digging in and moaning with her eyes rolling up to the heavens above, I know I totally nailed it again.

Damn, I'm kinda good at this whole dating thing.  I'd always been too scared to try before; but with Katya, things just seem to come naturally.  And I find myself wanting to try.  For her.

"Everything is delicious, Jax," she tells me with a smile.

She's been smiling all night, and I could definitely get used to seeing it on her pretty face.  I don't think she's ever smiled this much, and I know that's a good sign.

After dinner, Maria brings out two of the biggest pieces of tiramisu I've ever seen in my life.  And, surprisingly enough, Katya and I both devour the giant dessert in record time.

We both sit back in our seats, full and seemingly happy.  But there's still something I need to do to make this night complete.

"Katya," I begin.  "I'm sorry about the other night.  I acted like a complete asshole.  It's just…I've never…"  I stop to clear my throat and take a swig of wine.  Why is this so fucking hard?

Katya leans across the table and places her hand on top of mine.  "It's okay, Jax.  Whatever you need to tell me…just tell me."

"I've never done this before," I blurt out, waving my hand in the air.

"What?  Had dinner?" she asks with a grin.

She's toying with me, trying to make light of the situation.  And fuck, it's working.  I crack a grin and tell her, "I've never been on a date with a woman before."

Her blonde brows rise in surprise on her beautiful face.  "Oh," she says, sitting back in her seat.

I instantly miss the warmth of her touch, but I need to keep spilling my secrets, so that she understands me.  "My mother left when I was young, and I think it caused some issues later on in my life."

"So you're afraid to be intimate with a woman because she might turn around and leave or hurt you," Katya says.

What is she, a fucking psychiatrist?  "That's exactly right," I confess.

"So you watch other people who are in love because there's no chance of you getting too involved…of you getting hurt."

I nod.  Fuck, she's good.

"A lot of relationships end in heartache, Jax," she whispers.  "But sometimes you have to just throw yourself out there and not worry about the what ifs.  Focus on every moment when you're with that person and just hope for the best."

I sit back in my chair and think about what she just said.  She's absolutely right.  I've never given a woman a chance before because I was too focused on what the future held.  I could never be present with anyone, because I was too worried about when she would leave and break my fucking heart.

Gripping my wine glass, I take another sip.  I feel like I've been cracked open.  I feel fucking vulnerable.

And as if sensing my trepidation, Katya willingly offers me another piece of her puzzle.  "My father liked to gamble.  When he ran out of money, he used me as collateral.  He lost to a very powerful man who was involved with the Bratva.  And that is how I came to be married to Pavel."

The man she murdered won her in a card game.  It's almost inconceivable.  "How old were you?" I ask even though I fear I'm not going to like her answer.

"Sixteen," she whispers solemnly.

I'm floored by her response, so taken aback that I can't even speak for a good five minutes after that.  She was only sixteen years old when her father turned her over to an obviously old, fat and unattractive man.  She was just a young girl…and she was forced to marry him, stay with him for…how many years?

As if reading my mind, Katya tells me, "We were married for ten years.  Ten years of my life that bastard stole from me.  Ten years I'll never get back."  A shadow crosses her features as she says, "I'd like to say the abuse didn't start until recently, but I would be lying.  Pavel was a cruel man from the start.  He took my virginity after beating me bloody with his belt."  She cringes as if recalling the memory.  "He would lock me in the basement, starve me for days or weeks at a time.  I stayed alive by drinking dirty rainwater that trickled in through the cracks of the foundation."

As if recalling her voracious thirst, she takes a long swig of wine before continuing.  "The abuse got worse from there.  It started out with punches and kicks, but soon turned to burning me with his Cuban cigars and cutting me with his extensive knife collection.  He never used the same one twice," she whispers hauntingly.  "He thought he could break me, put me in my place.  He wanted a living, breathing doll.  But I refused to break.  And the more I refused, the crueler he became."  She shudders and wraps her arms around herself.

As her words slowly sink in, I become more and more irate.  Had I known what that bastard was, what he'd done to her…fuck, I would have killed him myself that night.

All this time I thought Katya was in the wrong, a bad person.  But she was only trying to survive in a cruel, cruel world.

"Katya," I say, my voice hoarse and chock full of emotion.  Her beautiful blues meet my gaze as I tell her, "If I had known, I would have killed him with my bare fucking hands that night."

She gives me a small smile.  "It took me ten long years to earn enough of his trust that we stayed in a hotel room without his bodyguards stationed in the same room or outside in the hallways.  I knew I would only have one chance at being free, and so I took it."  Her stare turns molten as she says, "You have to understand that I wanted to kill him.  I'm glad I did it.  And I would do it again if given the chance."  And then she adds with a smirk, "Although I would've made him suffer more the second time around."

"I do understand."  She thinks she's going to turn me away, that I'm going to think she's some kind of monster.  But I think the exact opposite.  I think she's the bravest, fiercest, most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on.

And I know exactly how she feels about wanting to kill Pavel.  I'm feeling that sense of revenge right now myself over the men who took Adeline.

Standing up, I outstretch my hand to her.  She hesitantly places her hand in mine, and I pull her upright, bringing her close to me.  A shocked gasp escapes her full lips as she looks up at me in surprise.

"Thank you for telling me the truth," I tell her.

She opens her mouth to speak, but now is not the time for words.  I want to show her how incredible I think she is and how grateful I am that she let me into her world.

My fingertips weave into her hair as I draw her closer to me, crushing my lips to hers.  She's tense at first, but soon she's kissing me back with just as much fervor.

Her secrets bind us.  And I know in that moment that it's going to be very hard for me to ever let her go.