JACKSON

 

STARING OUT THE window in the waiting room has become my new favorite pastime.  It was reading the magazines on the coffee table…until Lucien informed me how many germs are littered on each and every filthy, disgusting page.

Shit, my cousin drives me insane sometimes.

But right now I feel sorry for the guy.  He's going through hell and back while he's waiting for Adeline to wake up.  Turns out she was pregnant with twins.  One of the babies didn't make it, but the other one is still fighting.  I just hope he or she can survive, because Lucien and Adeline would be devastated over losing the other one too.

The knowledge of them having a baby together and seeing the ultrasound with my own two eyes further confirms that I have no business meddling in their relationship.  I need to get my shit together and tell Katya how I really feel about her and stop pushing her away just because I'm sulking over something that was never mine to begin with.

Adeline was Lucien's the moment she stepped foot in the door.  She owned him — heart, body and soul — from the start.  And now I'm starting to think that it wasn't so much Adeline that I wanted, but more so their relationship.  The intimacy of what they have is what I crave.  I just deflected it upon Adeline; and, thus, my sort of obsession for her continued to grow.

But after reflecting for the past couple of days, I know what I want now.  And what I want has been gone for thirty minutes I realize as I glance at my watch.  Katya's never taken this long before to get coffee, but maybe she also went for a walk.

Sighing, I stand up and stretch my arms up over my head.  Wraith is crashed out in a large recliner in the corner of the room — the only chair big enough to hold his hulking form.  His snoring ends abruptly and he jolts awake when I walk past him.  Fuck, he's always on alert…even in his sleep.

"I'm just going to find Katya," I tell him.

He gives me a nod and closes his eyes once more.  His snoring amplifies as I walk down the hall.  Fuck, he could wake the dead.  No wonder I haven't gotten any damn sleep.

When I get a few feet from the cafeteria, I find it empty except for a single Styrofoam cup lying in the middle of the floor.  Narrowing my eyes on the cup, I pick it up and throw it away.

"Katya?" I call, thinking she might be nearby.  I make a circle in the surrounding hallways, but there's no sign of her.  I check the bathrooms on this floor, but they're all empty…except for an old man, who forgot to lock the goddamn door.

"Sorry!" I call out before shielding my eyes and slamming the door shut.  Shuddering, I tell myself I'll never get that image of old man ass out of my head again.

Feeling frustrated…and slightly sick…I go back to the waiting room.  Wraith is asleep again and snoring; the sound a cross between a freight train and a chainsaw.

"Wake up, Wraith.  I can't find Katya."

Instantly, the deafening sound cuts off as Wraith sits up in the recliner.  "She's gone?"

"No.  I mean, I don't think so anyway."  My hand goes to the back of my sore neck from sleeping in a cramped up position and rubs.  "She probably just went to stretch her legs or something, but…"  I'm worried.  I don't know why I can't say the words out loud.

Maybe because it shows how vulnerable you feel right now?  Maybe because it shows everyone around you that you care for someone, and that scares the fuck out of you?

Fuck, that voice in the back of my mind is always fucking right.  I've been treating Katya like shit over the past couple of days because she scared me half to death when she disappeared on me and went with Wraith when we raided that house.  I thought the worst.  I thought she was dead.

And when I saw her again and she gave me attitude, I just snapped on her.  I shut her out, and I know now that was a mistake.  She doesn't deserve to be shut out, especially not right now when we're in a strange place…literally and figuratively.

I need to tell her how I really feel and stop being a goddamn pussy about it.  I need to tell her that…I think I love her — no, scratch that.  Not that I think I love her.  That I really do love her.  Like love, love and all that happy rainbows, sunshine, puppies and shit that you see in romance movies.

"Is she still wearing the anklet you gave her?" Wraith asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

The anklet!  Fuck, I didn't even think about that.  "You're a genius, Wraith."  I pull out my cell phone and bring up the app Lucien installed on it.  I haven't needed to use it before now, but I just might need to track Katya down.  I need to know that she's just on another floor of the hospital…maybe in the gift shop or something…and not missing.

But my worst fear comes to fruition when I realize her location is not in the hospital…or the gift shop…or anywhere near this fucking place.  She's miles away, in a car most likely, heading upstate.

"Fuck!" I hiss.

"What?  What's wrong?"

"She's gone.  She fucking left."  I can't fucking believe it.  The only other woman I've allowed myself to love since my mother, and she left me too…just like I always thought she would.  It's my biggest fear coming to life and unfolding right before my eyes.

Wraith takes a moment to digest my words.  And then he offers, "Or she was taken."

A cold chill runs up my spine at his words.  Of course, there's a bounty on her head.  I hadn't even considered that she wouldn't be safe here with us, but I should have.  I should have been more careful.

"Shit," I whisper.  "We have to go check the security footage to find out for sure.  Come on," I tell him, grabbing my coat and booking it out the door.

Wraith follows me as we get in an elevator and head to the security office on the first floor.  After some convincing and pleading, one of the guards finally allows us to watch the camera footage on the tenth floor.

He fast forwards until I finally spot Katya's image.  "Stop!  Right there!  Play it," I tell him quickly.

He grumbles under his breath, but plays the damn tape.

We all watch with bated breath as a blonde girl steps into the frame.  We can only see the side of her face, but the reaction from Katya gives her identity away in a heartbeat.  As the cup falls out of Katya's hand and she goes running to embrace the tinier version of herself, I tell Wraith, "That's Senga.  Her sister."

He nods in agreement.

We watch in silence until they leave together.  Katya looks unsure, hesitant, but she goes with her sister anyway.  Senga must have lied to her, and now I feel bad for not following up on more leads and finding out what happened to her sister over the past few years.  I feel even worse for not telling Katya that her sister is a criminal.  Perhaps she wouldn't have gone with her so willingly had I spilled the beans in the first place.

"Do you think Senga could be involved with the Bratva?" I ask him point-blank.

"Anything is possible," he answers cryptically.

Given her criminal history, I'm not willing to bet money on the fact that she's not involved somehow.  And I'm certainly not willing to bet Katya's life on it.

"Well, I have to go find her just in case she's in trouble," I say.  "I don't think that Katya's long-lost sister showed up after all these years just to take her sightseeing."

Wraith tells me, "I'm going with you."  And then he asks, "Should we tell Lucien we're leaving?"

I shake my head.  "He has enough to deal with right now.  I'll text him on the way just in case things get out of hand up there."

While we walk out of the hospital, I can't help but feel an overwhelming burning sensation in my chest.  If anything happens to Katya, I'll never be able to forgive myself.  I've been pushing her away ever since I met her, but it's only because I'm afraid of getting hurt.  I ended up hurting her in the long run.  And if she gets hurt…or worse, I may never get to tell her how I really feel about her, about us.

And that would kill me.