KATYA

 

"SO WHAT'S WITH the no shoes in the house thing?" I ask Jax while we sit outside late afternoon one day.  We're on a grassy hill overlooking the beach below.  The sun is shining, the water is sparkling like diamonds and the wind is blowing through my hair with a gentle breeze.  It's actually quite beautiful here, if I just allow myself to forget about the reason why I'm here and the fact that I'm not able to leave anytime soon.

"Lucien's house, Lucien's rules," he replies with a grin that says there's more to that story than what he's letting on.

Today, Jax is dressed casually in shorts and a t-shirt, and he looks so good I have to force myself to stop staring.

"Okay, but why is it his rule?" I ask.

"Let me explain it to you exactly how Lucien first explained it to me."  He turns towards me and asks, "How often do you wash your feet?"

"Um, every day when I take a shower or bath," I reply.

"Okay.  Now, how often do you wash your shoes?"

"Ah," I mutter in understanding.  "So he's worried about germs?  But I've seen Maria scrub those floors every day with my own eyes.  She leaves nothing untouched."

"I know, but it's more of a mental thing with Lucien.  Just knowing that no one is wearing shoes and bringing in germs or whatever from the outside makes him feel better."

I shake my head in disbelief.  The more I learn about Lucien's oddities, the more he freaks me out.  I don't know much about him other than the little things that Jax has told me, so it makes me wonder why he is the way he is.  There has to be more to the story.

"What's wrong with your cousin?" I ask him bluntly.

He grimaces at my question and stares off into the ocean.  "A lot of things," he replies sadly.  "His mother was a drug addict, and she would sell Lucien when he was a little kid to pedophiles for money."

I gasp, my hand clasping over my mouth in disbelief.

"Yeah," Jax says with a nod.  "It's not a pretty story, by any means."  He picks at a few blades of grass.  "He had a rough childhood, to say the least.  His mother and my dad were brother and sister.  My dad found Lucien when he was twelve and took him away from his piece of shit mom to come live with us."  He stops picking at the grass and frowns.  "We're the same age, but he looked like a little kid, half our age, starved, covered in bruises and scars…and scared out of his mind."  He clears his throat and looks out over the water once more.  "My dad saved his life."

I listen intently and hold back tears that are threatening to overflow.  I guess Lucien and I have more in common than what I initially thought.  He too was the victim of a parent who did not have his best interests in heart.  And I know what it's like to be raped and beaten and sold for pleasure.

"So the phobias and issues with germs that he has all stem from that fucking mess of a childhood he had," Jax explains.  "Lucien can't help the way he is.  It's just the only way he knows how to deal with life.  The only way he can cope sometimes."

I nod in understanding.  I'm sorry now that I assumed Lucien was just some kind of monster or lunatic without knowing his background.  I was so quick to judge that his quirks were strange and unfounded, but now I know better.  I'm glad I asked Jackson to share Lucien's story with me.  If I'm going to be living on this island for a while, I need to understand the people that live here better.

Reaching over, I grasp Jackson's hand and squeeze it reassuringly.  "You're a good man, Jax," I tell him sincerely.  "I'm sure that was hard on you too back then, taking in a stranger and having your father's attention all on him to help make him well."

Jax stares down at our joined hands before meeting my eyes.  "It was tough, but I love Lucien like a brother.  I'm glad everything worked out the way it did.  I would do anything for him."

I pull on his hand, tugging him closer until he's close enough for me to plant my lips on his.  The kiss is sweet and innocent at first.  But soon, like always, it grows heated with a passion I only previously read about in books.

Every time I'm with Jax, I feel like a moth floating towards the flame.  And I would catch on fire if it meant just one moment close enough to his light, his energy.

Jax is addictive, like the most powerful drug in the universe, and I fear I'll never be able to get him out of my system.