KATYA

 

AFTER DINNER, JAX and I go up to his room.  He leads me, holding my hand and is unusually quiet.  Usually it's all I can do to stop his mouth from running and cracking jokes.

I'm starting to get freaked out by the time he pushes through his bedroom door, but my paranoia is quickly replaced with confusion when I see the room lit with what must be over a hundred candles.

The soft glow in the room gives me goosebumps as I look up at him questioningly when he turns to look at me.

"I thought we could try something a little different tonight," he whispers as if he's afraid to say the words too loudly.

He pushes the door closed behind me and cages me against the wood.  Leaning down, he captures my lips with his in a soul-searing kiss.

The kiss is electrifying, scorching me down to my very marrow.

My hands slowly creep up between us, and I fist my needy fingers in his shirt, pulling him impossibly closer.  It's as if my body craves him to be as close as humanly possible, but then even that is sometimes not enough.

His hands leave the door and travel down the length of my body, gripping my hips roughly to thrust me up against him.  I gasp when I feel his erection digging into my stomach.  And, as soon as my lips part, he takes it as an invitation to invade my mouth with his tongue.

A battle ensues between us, our tongues both trying to dominate the other one, but I eventually relent.  I don't want to fight him anymore.  Deep down I want to give in, and I think now is the time to do just that.

He growls in response as he realizes my surrender in the way I go pliant in his hands like putty that he can mold and shape into whatever he wants.

He pulls back, and I draw in a much needed breath.  His lips graze down my jaw and then my neck. A shiver runs through me when his warm breath rushes over my skin.

I lean my head back against the door, panting hard as he continues his descent, dropping to the floor on his knees.  His skilled fingers undo the button and zipper on my jean shorts, and then he's pulling them, along with my panties, down my legs.

I step out of them and stand before him, bare from the waist down.

Jax wastes no time before he grabs my leg and lifts my knee up to rest over his shoulder, spreading me wide before him.  His wet, hot mouth plants a line of kisses up the inside of my thigh, leaving licks of fire in their wake.  I arch towards him in response.  He drives me mad with lust, and I never realized how truly impatient I was until I met Jax.  He makes me want everything he does right that instant.  And if I don't get it, it pushes me completely off the edge of sanity.

"Please," I beg.

"Shh," he shushes me before placing another kiss on my other thigh.

He slowly slides a finger along my slit, and I can barely contain the groan threatening to escape.  But when his tongue lashes out against my throbbing clit, I let out a long, loud moan, no longer worried about trying to hold anything back.

"You're so wet already," he whispers before blowing a soft puff of air against my most sensitive area.

I sink my teeth into my bottom lip to keep from crying out at the cold spreading across my wetness.  I feel like I'm dripping wet for him.  Hell, maybe I am.

"Please, Jax," I beg again.

He leans back a little.  "Touch yourself for me, Katya.  I want to watch you," he says, his gray eyes meeting mine.

Gently, I glide my hands past my aching breasts, skate along my stomach and stop at my apex.  The moment my index finger glides along my seam, I inhale sharply at the sensation.  He has me completely on edge already.  "Oh, Jax!" I gasp.

"That's my girl," he says with a smirk as he watches me.  "Show me how you touch yourself."

My fingers flit over my clit as I imagine his hands on me instead, which is what I desperately want and need.

I watch him watching me, and it's the most erotic thing I've ever done in my life.  And when he reaches down to free himself from his jeans, I almost spontaneously combust at the sight of his thick, hard cock in his hand.  He pumps it slowly, his eyes closing for only a moment before he's watching me once more.

My hips undulate, my orgasm racing faster and faster to the finish line.  But I don't want my touch to bring me to the end.  "Please, Jax.  I need you!" I gasp.

Jax smiles at my words.  He knows he's torturing me…and he loves every second of it.  "Tell me what you want, Katya."

"You.  Your mouth.  Lick me, taste me, fuck me," I groan, the words tumbling out of my mouth in quick succession.

I feel his hand push my fingers away.  And then, he buries his mouth against my tender flesh, and I have to hold back a scream.

He slides his fingers into my pussy, pumping them slowly in and out as he continues to lick and suck at my clit.  My head moves from side to side as I wish the approaching orgasm away, only because I know how powerful it's going to be.  I'm terrified it might actually break me.

"Come for me, Katya.  I want to hear you scream my name," he says before his hot, wet tongue circles against the swollen little bundle of nerves.

I shatter around his mouth, screaming his name at the top of my fucking lungs.  "Jax!" I cry out, trembling against his hands as he continues to sweep his tongue over my clit again and again, causing me to ride out wave after wave of the soul-shattering orgasm.

I'm barely aware of him standing until his arms are once again caging me in.  Jax twists his fingers in my hair and holds my head in place while he ravages my mouth with his lips and tongue.  I can taste my arousal, and it mixes with our own unique flavors to create a new taste.  A taste I could easily crave forever.

I expect him to take me against the door, to fuck me deaf, blind and dumb, like usual.  But Jax once again surprises me by lifting me up in his arms and carrying me to his bed instead.

I stand there while he strips me of my shirt.  My nipples harden under his gaze as he peruses my body, the stiff peaks straining against my bra.  I quickly rid myself of the last garment I have left, and he leans down to capture one of my nipples in his mouth.  He bites gently, and I cry out, but he quickly soothes the sting with a soft lick and kiss.

"Lie down," he instructs me, and I do as he says while I watch him strip out of his own clothes.  He reaches over to his night stand for a condom, and I can't look away while he slips it over his hard cock.

His body looks like it was sculpted out of clay.  He's so tall and muscular with broad shoulders and a narrow waist.  My eyes trail downwards past his washboard abs and deep V until they rest upon his thick cock jutting out between his muscular thighs.  A sculpture of him should really be on display somewhere in a fancy art museum.  I don't think I've ever seen a finer male specimen before.

"You're staring, Katya," he admonishes with a smirk.

I smile up at him and meet his eyes.  He slowly crawls onto the bed, stopping to drop a kiss on the diamond anklet that he gave me as a gift before positioning himself between my thighs and resting his weight on his elbows on either side of my head.  I never take the anklet off, except to shower.  His gift means more to me than he'll ever know.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," he whispers before capturing my lips in a kiss.

He kisses me softly, sweetly, and this is a whole other side of Jax I have never seen before.  Usually, when we're together, it's like an explosion of fuel and fire, combusting and extinguishing quickly thereafter.

But he's taking his time tonight, not rushing a thing.  And I'm in his bed for the first time — something else he's never done.

Sure, I love the rough, kinky sex that we have and the fact that we can't seem to keep our hands off each other…but this is more.  So much more.

Breaking the kiss, Jax leans on one elbow and reaches down between us to line himself up with my opening, rubbing the head of his cock over my clit a few times, driving me mad with lust.

He enters me torturously slow, and I can see sweat beading on his brow from the effort to be gentle with me.  It's not in Jax's nature to make love to a woman, but I think that's exactly what we're doing right now — making love.  For the very first time.

Once fully sheathed inside of me, he rests his weight on his elbows and fucks me slow, his eyes falling closed from the pleasure.  "Oh, fuck," he whispers as a shudder ripples through him.

Reaching up, I place my palm on his cheek.  It causes him to open his eyes and stare down at me.  It's as if he's looking right through me to my very soul.  "Jax…"  My voice trails off as I swallow past the lump forming in my throat.  I want to tell him how I truly feel, but I can't seem to force the words to the surface.  I want to tell him how I'm glad he kidnapped me, because ultimately he saved me.  He brought me back to life when I thought I was completely dead inside with a black soul, unable to be redeemed.

I wrap my hand around his neck and bring his lips crashing down to mine.  Instead of words, I pour my emotion into the kiss.  I let him know exactly how I feel with my actions.

He rocks in and out of me in soft, teasing strokes, and it's nearly unbearable.  My fingernails dig into his ass cheeks, pulling him closer, pressing him to fuck me faster, harder.

He obeys and begins a quicker pace as my inner walls clamp down on his driving length.

"Fuck," he says, breaking our kiss and looking down at me with awe written all over his face.

He pulls out almost the whole way before his cock dips inside my pussy again in shallow thrusts, and I rake my nails down his muscular back in frustration.  I can feel another orgasm racing inside of me, and I know it's not far off.

As if sensing my urgency, Jax begins to fuck me, rutting in and out of me.  I buck my hips to meet him thrust for thrust, and then it's like a rocket shooting off towards the sun.  Every muscle inside of me clenches with desire as bright, hot pleasure crashes over me, sending hot sparks shooting down my spine.

"Jax!" I cry out.  And it only takes a few more thrusts before he's growling out my name and joining me in our powerful bliss.

He collapses, barely catching himself at the last second, completely boneless atop of me and breathing hard against my neck and whispering words I can't hear.

After several minutes of lying there with our racing heartbeats competing against one another, we finally catch our breath.  Jax pulls out of me gently and disposes of the condom.  He disappears into his adjoining bathroom and comes out a minute later with a warm washcloth to wash away the evidence of our lovemaking.

I can't help the smile forming on my face as I watch him take care of me.  And I'll admit it's nice, so fucking nice to feel cared for and to be so trusting of another human being.

He dries me with a soft towel and disappears into the bathroom once again.  While I wait for him to return, a faint spark of doubt clouds my mind.  Jax and I have never slept together in the same bed before.  Will he kick me out?  Tell me to go to my room?

Feeling torn, I quickly scramble to the edge of the bed just as Jax emerges.  "Where you going?" he asks with a cocked brow.

"Uh," I start, but not knowing how to finish.

"Stay with me tonight," he says, completely erasing any doubt from my mind.

I give him a single nod and climb back into bed.  And when Jax pulls my back against his chest and tucks me in close to him before pulling the blanket up over us, I let out a shaky sigh of relief.

It feels so nice to be touched without fear and to feel safe in his arms.  I don't remember the last time I felt so safe.  And just for tonight, I allow myself to dream of a future with Jax in it.

A future where we exist…together…and happy.

 

* * * * * * *

 

LATE INTO THE night, I'm awoken by a beeping sound.  Jax stirs next to me and groans.  When he unwraps his arms to go check his cell phone, I instantly miss his warmth.  Something happened between us tonight.  We didn't just fuck.  Jax made love to me.

It was wonderful and magnificent…and every other synonym in the thesaurus.

I finally feel like we're on the same page.  Like we could truly be happy together and make things work.

I just wish I didn't constantly have the little black cloud over my head warning me of things to come.

And when Jax's phone lights up, illuminating the dark room and he hisses out, "Holy shit," I can almost feel the dark cloud growing bigger, foreboding of bad things to come.

I sit up quickly.  "What?  What's wrong?  What is it?" I whisper into the darkness.

"It's Lucien.  He found a lead on Adeline."  He stumbles out of bed, yanking on a pair of sweatpants.

"Did he find her?" I ask, swallowing hard.

"God, I hope so," he says, his voice dripping with excitement and worry all at the same time.

I stare after him as he leaves his bedroom, not even bothering to shut the door.  He's rushing to find information about this girl…

I wonder what will happen when she's back in his life.  Will Lucien and Jax fight for her attention, for her love?  Will Jax win in the end?

It's obvious that he's in love with the girl.  Just the sound of her name coming from someone's lips lights up his entire face.  I don't know if Lucien knows about his secret admiration.  I have about half a mind to tell him, but I don't want Jax to get hurt…even if he's hurting me in the process.

No, I decide to just sit back and wait.  But one thing I'm definitely going to do in the meantime is re-erect the walls around my heart again.  Because I have a feeling Jax is going to completely crush me, and there won't be any coming back from it.