Before I opened my eyes, I straightened my legs and lifted my arms up over my head and stretched all the way through to my fingertips and toes. I let out a huge sigh and rolled over on my side.

What a night!

What a life!

What on earth was I going to do?

Where did I even start?

I was pregnant. Pregnant! I was having a baby! Kane’s baby! I hadn’t even told him yet. Of course I hadn’t told him. How could I? He’d disappeared until last night. Was I even ready for motherhood? I’d only just started my new life. I’d gotten a new job, new friends, a new apartment. Having a little baby to take care of certainly hadn’t been part of the plan.

But then, there was a yearning in my heart for that baby. There was a feeling of love and tenderness I couldn’t deny. Every part of me wanted a little baby to take care of. I just needed to get my life in order first.

And what about Kane! First he disappears. Without a single word to anyone he walks right out. Goes who knows where? Doing who knows what?

Where was he? What was he doing? And why couldn’t he answer his phone calls, even just out of courtesy. I mean, I get it that sometimes you need your own space. Obviously he’d been through a lot and processing the loss he’d been through was probably a pretty solitary thing for a guy like him. But come on! People worry. Let us know you’re alive, idiot!

And we’d kissed. God, that kiss! What was I supposed to make of that? Did that mean he wanted me back? Did he want to go for a relationship with me? Of course I wanted that more than anything, but how could I just drop everything and fall back into bed with him?

We’d had exactly one hot night together. That wasn’t exactly the foundation of a life long relationship of trust and support. Sure, it was a good start. A great start, I thought, remembering the way he’d sucked my pussy and fucked me with his cock, pouring himself deep inside me. It was a perfect start!

But it was only a start. It wasn’t a relationship. Not yet.

My head was spinning. My world was moving at a million miles an hour. I needed to take a deep breath and get my thoughts together.

I squinted my eyes and looked at the clock on my bedside table. It was five thirty. Wow. I was up early. Despite all the drama last night, I felt amazingly refreshed. I felt my neck for any soreness from Matt’s attack. I was fine. Kane had come at just the right time to rescue me.

I noticed there was a message on my phone and clicked to listen to it. It was from the Pismo Beach police department. They were calling to notify me that Matt was being charged with aggravated assault and would be held in custody back in Palo Alto until a judge could hear his case next week. In all likelihood, given what he’d done, I wouldn’t have to worry about him for a long time. They took domestic violence very seriously and would do their utmost to ensure Matt saw real jail time. If he did end up getting released, they would send a uniformed police officer to my home to keep me updated, and they would make sure I felt safe.

Well, that was a load off. My ex-husband had turned out to be quite the psycho, but at least the Pismo Beach police took it seriously enough to look after women in my position. It seemed I was in the right place for a messy breakup.

I stayed in bed a while longer and daydreamed about what I should do with my day. Usually I planned what I’d make for dinner in the morning but I still had lots of leftover food from my party so that wouldn’t be an issue. I wondered would Kane call soon? Would he come over?

Was he still interested in me or was that kiss all I could expect out of him?

I flicked through my texts. There were a bunch from Sandra, sent from the brewery last night.

Ten minutes later.

Ten minutes later.

Twenty minutes later.

One hour later.

That one got my attention. Sandra and Paul making out. I punched the air in triumph. God, how I’d wanted her and Paul to hook up! I’d been waiting for news like this for weeks. I couldn’t believe they never saw it. They were perfect for each other. Pretty much every time I left the two of them together, I expected Sandra to tell me the next time I saw her that they had hooked up. But it never happened! Until now, that is!

Another text twenty more minutes later.

And exactly seventeen minutes after that one.

That last one had been sent just a few hours ago. It was so early I knew Sandra would be fast asleep, hopefully with Paul’s amazing body wrapped around her, keeping her warm. I wanted to talk to her desperately but I’d let the poor girl sleep in and enjoy her morning. I’d see her at work in a few hours and there’d be plenty of time then for us to catch up.

And boy was there a lot to catch up on. It would be such a fun day. She could tell me all about Paul’s love-making skills, and I’d ask her what I should do about the Kane situation.

Would I tell her I was pregnant? Was it too soon to start telling people about that? What was the rule with this? I mean, did I have to wait to speak to a doctor first? Did I have to tell Kane first?

Wow. It was too early in the morning for this much to be happening. I needed coffee, fast!

I went into the kitchen and put on the coffee maker, then sat at the table and scrolled through my phone. I needed to clear my head. I was dying to get back to Sandra but it was still too early. I poured myself a cup of coffee and checked my emails. There was the one from Sandra she’d promised to send me. The one about intentions and finding love and getting in tune with the universe. I wasn’t sure about all that stuff, but this morning was about as good a time as any if I was going to ask the universe for guidance.

The title was, “Intentions for Manifesting Love in your Life.”

I started reading it.

It seemed to be your standard astrology stuff, talking about the moon and planets, zodiac signs, all that stuff. I’d never been interested in it, I’m a good Christian woman, but it was just for fun and it was from Sandra so I gave it a chance. A lot of it was about trying to pull love toward you, which sounded perfect. Of course I wanted love to come to me. As long as love meant Kane!

At the bottom was a little ritual I could do during the full moon. I clicked my phone and asked Siri when was the date of the next full moon.

“The next full moon is today,” her computer voice told me.

Well if that wasn’t a sign from the universe I thought, smiling. I looked at my watch. A quarter after six. Still way too early to text Sandra. I poured myself another cup of coffee and read through the instructions for the ritual.

Who knows? I thought to myself. There’s never any harm in asking the universe for a little more love in my life.

Step one, go out at dawn to maximize the power of nature.

I went back to my bedroom and grabbed my duvet, throwing it over my shoulders. What the hell? No one’s around.

Step two, light candles and incense. Sit in the center and place them north, south, east and west of yourself.

Candles and incense? What on earth was I getting myself into? I didn’t have that stuff. Do people actually have that in their home?

I told myself to be a good sport and found my stash of emergency candles under the sink. I grabbed four and threw them into my beach back with some matches. Then I threw on some jeans and a t-shirt. If I was going to be a hippy, I might as well go down to the beach to do it. I didn’t have any incense but I had a bottle of Chanel perfume I’d paid over a hundred dollars for at the mall back in Palo Alto. If the universe wanted things to be fragrant, Chanel had to trump incense. I tossed that in the beach bag too.

Step three, write down what you desire most in the world. Choose no more than three things and write each one on a separate piece of paper.

I froze. Three things! I didn’t have a clue what to write. Oh great, I thought. The universe is about to grant you three wishes, and you can’t think of what you want! I would think about it on the bike ride down to the beach. If I couldn’t think of three things by the time I got there, I didn’t need the universe’s help.

I grabbed some paper and a pen and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Shit. I have zero makeup on and my hair is a disaster. I started to run to the bathroom to make myself presentable, but then I thought, hold on a second. Meadow, you just found out you’re pregnant. Your ex-husband just got arrested for attacking you. The man you think you love just came back into town, stood up for you, and kissed you. There are more important things to do than put on lipstick!

I ran my hand through my hair and threw on my sunglasses. That would do it. A moment later I was out the door and flying down the street through the beautiful morning air, the sun rising behind the hills and the ocean beckoning me toward it.

I made my way for the cliffs overlooking the beach, the same place I’d gone my first morning in Pismo Beach. The place I’d witnessed Kane performing his own little ritual.

I turned into the parking lot and got off my bike. It was such a beautiful morning. The sun was still rising, the ocean was rippling with waves and there was a warm breeze. I pulled out my beach blanket and put it on the grass. I set my candles around, facing each of the directions. I sprayed a few spritzes of perfume around before placing the bottle down on the blanket. I took my place in the middle, crossed my legs and got out my phone, the paper and a pen.

I sat quietly and looked out into the ocean. I calmed my mind and focused on what I wanted to bring into my life. As intentions came to me, I wrote each one down on it’s own piece of paper. When I was satisfied with my choices, I looked on my phone to find the next steps.

Step four, share your intentions with a friend.

Oh great. Stumped again. How was this going to work if I couldn’t get a single detail right? Then I realized, I wasn’t quite alone. I was with God, right? So I read my intentions aloud into the morning breeze.

“I want to be a kind person,” I said.

“I want to love like I’ve never been hurt.”

“I want true love to find me.”

Those were the three things I could come up with! It’s not as easy as it sounds!

I put the pieces of paper down and reached for my phone to read the the last step.

Step five, keep your written intentions tucked away in a safe place and be patient.

And just like that, a gust of wind came up over the cliffs, blew out the four candles, and took the pieces of paper away, sending them flying into the air!

“Oh no!” I cried. “Universe, why are you doing this to me?”