I hadn’t intended to spend so much time on the water. I was surprised when I saw I’d been surfing over three hours. It felt good. After everything that happened the night before, I needed it.

I got dressed by the Jeep, sitting on the passenger seat while I pulled off my wetsuit and got into some jeans and a white t-shirt. I checked my face in the mirror and winced. It would take a few days for the bruises to clear. Those guys had really let me have it. Oh well, I deserved it. When you act like a pig, you should expect to get treated like one.

I was starving and went straight from the beach to the café, parking across the street. When I looked inside I saw Sandra. If I remembered correctly, she’d been at the brewery last night and must have seen my performance. Still, she waved and reached for a cup to start pouring me a coffee.

I walked inside and the smell of fresh bacon made my mouth water.

I made my way to my usual spot at the counter and did a double take when I saw the woman from the brewery last night sitting in a booth. She hadn’t seen me yet, but Sandra made eye contact with me as she topped up the woman’s coffee. The look she gave me said I better behave this time.

I should have known I wouldn’t be getting away with what I’d done.   I sat on the stool and reached for the newspaper as I took the first sip from my coffee.

“Really?” Sandra said. “The newspaper, Kane?”

“What?” I said, feeling sheepish.

“You never read the paper.”   She was giving me a hard time. It was obvious I was trying to avoid being noticed by that woman.

“You having your usual?” Sandra said.

I nodded awkwardly. Sandra put some cutlery on the counter in front of me and leaned in.

“What was wrong with you last night. You were a complete jerk.”

“Please don’t remind me.”

“I’ll tell you what. You apologize to her and I’ll drop it.”

“Apologize?”

“You owe her that much.”

“I got the shit kicked out of me.”

“Not by her.”

I looked at Sandra then over at the girl I’d been so mean to. I didn’t even know why I’d picked on her. She’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“I know,” I said. “You’re right. I don’t know what came over me.”

“I’ve never seen you like that. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you weren’t a nice guy.”

I nodded. It was true. I really hadn’t been myself.

“She just brought something out of me,” I said. “I couldn’t handle it.”

I wasn’t used to feeling emotion anymore. I’d spent a year deadening everything. Last night it all woke up at once.

I looked behind me at the woman as casually as I could and debated if I should go over to talk to her. She looked like she’d been crying and I was sure I was the last person in the world she wanted to bump into.

“She’s been on her phone since she got here,” Sandra said. “I’m not sure what she’s looking at, but she was full blown crying a few minutes ago.”

“I feel like such an ass, Sandra.”

“You should.”

“You know that wasn’t me, right?”

“I don’t know what to think. All I know is an apology would be a good start.”

“She doesn’t want to hear from me.”

“You were cruel. I mean, you’re usually pretty cold. You haven’t given a girl an inch since …” her words trailed off.

“I know,” I said.

“But this girl was minding her own business and you humiliated her. You basically called her fat, Kane. In front of the entire place.”

I shook my head as the memories flooded back to me. What had I been thinking about.

“I didn’t even mean it, Sandra. I mean, look at that girl. She’s beautiful.”

“I’m not the one you need to be telling.”

“She’s perfect,” I said, unable to stop waffling.

Sandra rose her eyebrows at me as I got down from my stool and made my way over to the woman. I cleared my throat and ran my hand through my unruly hair, trying to straighten myself up a little. It was hopeless. With the bruises, there was no way I was going to look presentable.

As I approached the girl, she cut me off before I could get a word in.

“Oh great. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Wait,” I said, holding my hands up a sign of peace.

“I guess you’ve come over to judge me for eating again? In your world women don’t eat, right?”

“Oh, God,” I said. “Please. I’m really sorry about last night.”

“You were way out of line, buddy.”

“I know. Honestly, what I said, what I did to you, that wasn’t me. I don’t know what came over me.”

“You’re an asshole. That’s what came over you.”

“I know,” I said. “If I could take it back, I would.”

“Looks like you got taught a lesson,” she said, looking at my bruises.

“I deserve a lot worse,” I said.

She smiled, and I felt it again, the rush of emotion that this girl somehow managed to stir up in me every time I saw her. I hadn’t felt this way since … since…

“Would have been nice if one of those guys got you in the nuts,” she said.

I burst out laughing. I hadn’t laughed since…

“I’m not sure I was that bad.”

“Oh, you were. You were worse. You basically tried to fat shame me. You know how chauvinistic that is?”

“Chauvinistic?”

“Yeah. It’s a big word for when guys are complete pricks to women.”

“Oh, God. I know I came across that way,” I said, bowing my head in shame. “God, all I can say is I’m really sorry. I’m really not like that.”

“Except when you’re drunk?”

“Not even when I’m drunk. Honestly. I actually find it attractive when women eat. I never want to see my girl pick at a salad when she wants a cheeseburger.”

“It’s not about food.”

“I know. It’s about everything. I was a jerk. I admit it. Please can you give me a second chance?”

She looked at me and again, the rush of emotion came pouring over me. I winked at her.

Winked!

Me!

I don’t wink at anyone. I’m the guy who’s supposed to be suicidal. I do not flirt.

She turned pink with embarrassment and looked away. When she looked back she was blushing.

“Hah,” she said, “Yeah. Whenever I order salad, I’m always disappointed and end up eating a bag of chips or something afterward.” I smiled. I could picture girls doing that. I should have left things there but I took a step closer to her and reached out my hand. “My name is Kane,” I said. “Meadow,” she said, taking my hand.

I gave her a look, asking if it would be okay to sit with her, and she nodded. “I was actually hoping I’d run into you again,” she said.

“So you could kick me in the nuts yourself?”

She laughed.

“Yeah that, but also because I wanted to apologize too.”

“Oh, you don’t need to apologize.”

“Well, I had an awful day yesterday and I probably could have handled myself better.”

“You handled yourself just fine. I was the one who attacked you.”

“Well, just so you know, ordinarily I wouldn’t have reacted so harshly.”

I let out a sigh.

“Truce?” I said.

“Truce,” she said with a smile like I’d never seen before.

Looking into her face was like looking at the sun over the ocean. It was the most beautiful thing imaginable. “So Kane, you’re a surfer?” “Yeah, you can tell huh?” “Well, I went for a drive this morning and I stopped to take in the view of the ocean. I recognized you down on the beach, heading out in the water on your board. You were carrying two wild flowers. I watched as you paddled out with them and placed them in the water. It was beautiful. A really touching moment. Like a scene out of a movie.”

A knot formed in my throat. Oh God. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t ready for this.

“Kane?” she said. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. It’s just.”

“Just what?”

I stood up but I rushed and accidentally knocked over my seat behind me.

“Here we go again,” Meadow said, looking up at me in complete surprise.

“It’s …” I stammered, trying to think of something to say.

“What’s wrong with you?” she said.

“That moment was private.”

I couldn’t breathe. I had to get out of there. I picked up my chair but it got stuck under the table and I couldn’t get it free. I pulled and pushed at it harder as the leg pulled the entire table and Meadow’s coffee spilled.

She leapt up to avoid getting burned.

“You’re a loose canon,” she said.

I couldn’t believe I was creating another scene. I looked into Meadow’s face and she was crying. Great. Second day in a row I messed up her life.

“Kane, what the fuck?” Sandra called across the room.

Everyone was looking at me again.

“What are you even doing in this town?” I said to Meadow.

I wasn’t yelling but I was close to it.

“You should go back to wherever the fuck you came from.”

I stormed out of the place before Sandra had to kick me out, slamming the door behind me.