“Well, here we go.” Courtney joins me in front of the car, and together we make our way toward the high school building for our first day of junior year.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, but I think it’s more about seeing Sebastian than it is about starting school again. I always have first day jitters, but this is something else entirely.
Even after what happened on Saturday, I still wasn’t one hundred percent convinced I’d hear from Sebastian on Sunday. But as promised, he called me; it was shortly after dinner, and we talked for nearly two hours.
When we hung up he left me only with an “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tess.” His sultry voice making me wish it was already tomorrow.
Now it is, and I’m walking into school with an entire swarm of butterflies in my stomach flapping so wildly it’s a wonder I’m able to keep myself securely on the ground.
We meet up with Bree, whose locker is just a couple down from mine, and then walk together toward our homeroom classes. Courtney and Bree were lucky enough to end up in the same homeroom where I was not.
I bid my two best friends goodbye before making my way four doors down to where my homeroom class is located. The room is already packed and bustling with excited students catching up with friends.
I head for the empty desk in the far front corner, saying hello to some of my classmates as I pass by. Unfortunately, because I spent so much time in the hallway with Court and Bree, the bell rings before I even make it all the way to my desk.
Mr. Johnson is still in the hallway, ushering some last-minute arrivals through the door, so I quickly take my seat. While he’s distracted, I take a quick moment to check my phone, wanting to make sure it’s on silent before class starts. Sliding the device from the back pocket of my skinny jeans, my breath catches in my throat the moment I see a text message from Sebastian.
Sebastian: I hope you have a good first day.
Looking up to see Mr. Johnson entering the room, I quickly lock the device and shove it back into my pocket without having a chance to text Sebastian back.
The first part of the morning goes by in a blur. While I’m familiar with the building, there’s still some classroom searching that takes place on the first day, especially given that half the classes on my schedule are spread over the four different wings of school making it somewhat difficult to make it from one class to the next in the short three minutes that’s allotted between bells.
By the time third period rolls around, I’ve managed to be late to all three classes, stumbling into Advanced Chemistry nearly two full minutes after the bell because I got turned around having never really been to the east wing before.
There are only two seats open, and I immediately opt for the one in the row closest to me about halfway toward the back. I hate drawing any attention to myself and considering my late arrival, pretty much everyone in the class watches me until I finally claim my desk.
I’ve barely gotten my notebook open before I hear snickering coming from behind me. Because of my rushed entrance, I didn’t really pay much attention to who was sitting around me, but knowing it probably has nothing to do with me, I choose to ignore it and turn my attention forward.
It’s not long before the girls are giggling again, talking in hushed whispers. Mr. Merlock is either completely oblivious to it or chooses to ignore it, but considering they’re sitting right behind me, it’s a far more challenging task for me, but I manage to shut them out for most of the class. That is until I hear Sebastian’s name. That’s when my ears perk up, and I really start listening.
“Are you sure that’s her? He would never hook up with her. Look at her. She’s so—boring.” The hair on the back of my neck stands up as a fresh set of goose bumps spread across my skin.
“Maybe he did it out of pity. You know, so people would think they hooked up,” the second girl responds.
“Oh, you’re probably right. Sebastian really is so sweet, taking on such pathetic charity cases. I wonder if she actually believed he was giving her the time of day, or if she knew all along it was just a rouse.”
“Poor thing. She probably thought it was real.” This causes both the girls behind me to break into a fit of giggles once again.
It takes everything in me not to turn around and say something. I want to so bad. I want to tell them that not only did we spend an incredible night together on Friday, but that he came to my house Saturday and we spent hours on the phone Sunday, but I know better than to open that can of worms. It would probably just egg them on more.
I wish I could say I’m a thick-skinned person and their words don’t poke me like little needles being jabbed into my skin, but that’s simply not the case.
By the time the bell rings, I’m so on edge I feel like I’m gonna crawl out of my own skin. Grabbing my stuff off my desk, I hightail it toward the door before I do something I’ll regret, like slapping tweedle dee and tweedle dumb right across their catty faces with my chemistry book.
I’m in such a rush to get away from the entire situation that I narrowly miss running into Dylan as I turn the corner in my attempt to flee. He jumps, startled by our near collision, and then recognition flashes across his face.
“Sorry.” I avoid his gaze as I attempt to step around him.
I get all of two steps before his voice halts my movements.
“So, Sebastian Baxter huh?” The disdain dripping from each word has me slowly turning around.
He looks like his normal put together self. Dark hair short and styled, his decent built frame dressed in his usual jeans and sports tee. But it’s his eyes that throw me off. The deep brown color not as soft as I once thought it to be. There’s an edge to him I never really noticed while we were together.
Did he always look at me like that?
“What?” I finally question, my pulse drumming against my neck.
“You know, I actually felt bad for what I did to you,” he says, his nose snarled. “But then you go and pull some shit like this.”
“What are you talking about?” I don’t try to hide my confusion.
“Six months, Tess. We were together for six months, and still, you weren’t ready. One night at Sebastian Baxter’s house and you’re offering it up like it’s a free meal service that everyone is entitled to but me.”
His words are like a slap across the face, and I rear back from their impact.
This is the first interaction I’ve had with Dylan since our breakup, and he has the nerve to come at me about Sebastian after what he did with Taylor. Anger boils deep in my chest, and I have to physically restrain myself from exploding.
“So what if I did?” I find myself lying just to hurt him. “You’re the one who cheated on me, you broke up with me remember?”
“So you go and fuck the biggest player in school to get back at me?” His voice booms around me, and only then do I realize the eyes that have stopped to watch this little altercation.
“Fuck you, Dylan!” I seethe, surprising even myself. “Fuck you!” I repeat before spinning around and practically running down the hallway, leaving him standing in what I can only guess is complete shock.
I’ve never stood up to Dylan before, not like that. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel good. It did. It felt better than good—amazing might be a better word for it. I just wish there weren't so many people around listening to him spew his lies.
Between the girls in Chemistry and Dylan’s little hallway outburst, it’s only a matter of time before the whole school thinks I screwed Sebastian Baxter.
***
The downfall to being in all advanced classes is that I rarely get to see my friends throughout the day. And with the day I’ve had, I could use a little detox time with Bree and Courtney. Luckily, like the last two years, we have the same lunch period. After grabbing a salad and yogurt from the lunch line, I make my way across the cafeteria to the far right side where Courtney, Bree, and I have sat every lunch period since freshman year.
As I get close to the table, for a moment I question if I’ve got the right spot. Our ten-person round table that usually sits around five girls and the occasional boy Bree is dating, is now packed full of guys and girls alike.
I hesitate before I spot Courtney who holds her hand up in a half wave the moment she sees me. I nod, surprised to find Ant sitting next to her. But the real shock is who is sitting on the other side of him.
A flood of heat washes over my face when those brilliant hazel eyes meet mine, and a slow smile spreads across Sebastian’s face. It doesn’t take me long to realize that there is only one seat open and it’s between Sebastian and Marissa, a mutual friend of our group.
I take a deep breath and head around the table, fully aware of how Sebastian’s eyes never lose sight of me, following my every move until I finally claim the seat next to him.
“Bout time your ass showed up.” Bree throws a French fry at me from across the table. It skids across the surface and ends up somewhere on the floor behind me.
“My class schedule is insane this year.” I try my best to remain casual despite feeling like I’m going to bounce out of my seat with nervous energy.
“Well, that’s what you get for being such an overachiever,” she teases, turning toward Blake when he grumbles something under his breath.
“Hey.” Sebastian gently nudges his shoulder against mine, pulling my gaze away from Bree.
“Hey.” I have trouble speaking around the knot in my throat.
It’s one thing to play pretend with Sebastian—to exist with him outside of school—but being here with him next to me feels almost like some cheesy teenage RomCom.
“You didn’t text me back this morning.”
“Sorry. I meant to. I just got really busy,” I croak out, my throat dry.
“I guess I can give you a free pass this time,” he teases, his mouth pulling up on one side.
“What are you doing over here anyway?” I try to push past my nerves, quickly adding, “Slumming it today?”
Sebastian always sits at the long table next to the windows where most of the football team and cheerleaders tend to congregate. To say I’m shocked to see him over here in my neck of the woods is the understatement of the year.
Not that my group of friends isn’t popular. I mean, Bree and Courtney are hands-down two of the prettiest girls in school, but we are definitely not part of his crowd.
“More like I upgraded.” His response brings an immediate smile to my face. I swear if he was sitting any closer he could probably hear my heart thumping inside my chest.
I’m seconds away from spitting back some smart ass comment but can’t get the words out before I hear—“You two are just too cute together,” come from one of the girls at the table.
I look up to find Trisha, one of Courtney’s good friends, sitting caddy corner from us looking directly at me. Heat creeps up my neck, spreading to my cheeks when I realize she’s talking about me and Sebastian.
“Oh, we’re not…” I start, the words sticking on my tongue.
“Thank you.” I hear Sebastian say next to me, officially cutting me off.
I turn wide eyes on him, shock probably etched in every feature of my face.
“Though I think it’s more Tess making me look good than anything,” he adds, his words meant for Trisha but his gaze never leaving mine.
“What are you doing?” I grind out under my breath so only he can hear me.
“What?” He gives me an innocent, knowing smile. “I’m just telling the people how smitten I am with you.” His tone is low, but I have no doubt that anyone who cares enough to listen can hear him.
“Is that what you’re doing?” I question, trying to fight the smile his words bring to my lips.
“I mean, I’m trying, but you’re getting all squeamish on me.” There’s humor in his voice but truth to his words.
Squeamish is exactly how I would describe it. I hate being put on display and right now, that’s exactly how I feel knowing that every set of eyes at our table and probably several other tables are locked on the little show Sebastian is putting on.
“Dear god, just kiss her already,” I hear Bree groan.
I’m seconds away from telling her where she can take her comment when Sebastian’s words render me speechless.
“Don’t mind if I do,” he says as his face lowers toward mine.
At first, I think he’s just going to kiss my cheek or something, but when he tips my face up my entire body freezes. My reaction time isn’t quick enough, and before I can even process his movements his lips are on mine, soft and smooth.
He keeps it PG, his mouth lingering on mine just long enough to get the reaction out of me he wants. I feel like I’m in a trance, lost in some hypnotic spell that Sebastian has cast over me.
Pulling back, he stares at me for a long moment. Time seems to slow down as those hazel eyes burn deeply into mine. Eyes that I’m sure hold more truths than the man they belong to will ever dare admit.
I know everyone sees Sebastian as the player, the football star, the unattainable heartthrob, and so did I for the longest time. But having spent these last few days getting to know him better, it’s clear to see there’s so much more to him than I originally thought.
I hear one of the girl’s sigh and then Ant groans, “Dude, we’re all trying to eat.” His words instantly break the moment, and my embarrassment spreads.
I immediately look away, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole.
It’s so easy to get lost in Sebastian’s charm that sometimes I forget that there’s an entire world going on around us.
“Stop being an ass,” I hear Courtney say seconds before she changes the subject, addressing the rumor that Mr. Johnson, my homeroom teacher, is sleeping with the married Mrs. Spellman from the Math department.
Silently thanking my best friend for knowing exactly how to draw the attention away from me, I spend the next twenty minutes trying to force down at least a little of my lunch. It’s not the easiest thing to do, especially when a certain gorgeous senior won’t stop staring at me.
He remains completely at ease like he doesn’t have a care in the world; meanwhile, I feel like a pressurized ball of nerves that’s going to explode at any moment, spewing my contents all over the lunch table in front of me.
By the time the bell rings, signaling the end of our lunch period, I’m both disappointed that my time with Sebastian is over and yet so relieved at the same time. Maybe once I get away from him this weird knot that’s formed in the pit of my stomach will go away, though I’m not entirely sure it will.
“Let me walk you to your next class,” Sebastian offers as we drop off our trays and make our way out of the cafeteria.
“And draw even more attention to us?” I question. “I think you put on enough of a show back there.” I gesture back to the table we just left. “Keep it up, and people might actually think you like me or something,” I joke nervously.
“And that’s an issue?” he questions with a smirk, taking my hand before leading me across the aisle and down the far left hallway, not stopping until we reach what I can only assume is his locker.
“I mean, I get it. You need to show off your charity work.” I shrug, humor lacing my words as I lean against the locker next to his. “Whatever it is we’re doing here though, I’d like to survive it with as much of my reputation intact as possible.”
“And being with me tarnishes that reputation?” he questions, cocking his head to the side as he pulls two books from his locker and tucks them under his arm before closing it.
“They think I’m sleeping with you, which doesn’t speak very highly of me.”
“So it’s a bad thing if people think we’re having sex?” he questions like the statement couldn’t sound more ridiculous.
“It’s a bad thing if people view me as just another one of your conquests.” The humor dies away as my true feelings boil to the surface. “Look, I like you, Sebastian. I really do. But if this is some screwed up game you’re playing to screw the uptight virgin, I’d appreciate it if you’d just not waste my time. I’m not interested in being just another girl in the long line of people you’ve slept with.”
I don’t expect my words to come out as harshly as they do, but the situation in chemistry class coupled with my altercation with Dylan seems to be weighing heavier on me than I initially thought. And while Sebastian has been nothing but amazing to me, I can’t help but be hesitant and suspicious; who wouldn’t be in my situation?
The last thing I expect is for Sebastian to find humor in my rant, so when he tips his head back and a full belly laugh erupts from his throat, I stand completely dumbfounded, not at all sure what the hell is happening.
“God, you’re something else.” He shakes his head, laughter still lacing his words. “Are you done now? Did you get it all off your chest?”
“I’m serious, Sebastian.” I cross my arms in front of myself.
He steps closer. “You really need to learn how to just go with the flow, Tess. Not everything has to be so life altering. So people talk, who cares.”
“I care.”
“Well, you shouldn’t.” He reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my cheek for a moment longer before it returns to his side.
“Come on, we’re gonna be late.” And with that, he loops his arm through mine and drags me alongside him, effectively ending our conversation.