Knox

“So Libby finally called you?” Easton asks on the phone.

“Yeah.”

I’ve been keeping him updated on the whole situation with Libby, and he’s trying to help me stay in a positive mood and keep my hopes up. She’s been texting me back and forth regularly for the past week since our conversation on the phone, but we still haven’t gotten back to where we were before.

We’re both holding back in fear of it not working out now. I don’t want to dive in too fast and have her leave me underwater if she changes her mind again.

“And she’s come to her senses?”

“I still haven’t figured that out yet. The woman is confusing as hell. She said she wants to wait until I finish the tour before jumping into a relationship.”

“What does that mean? I like the girl, and I want to see you happy, but that’s kind of fucked up.”

“I don’t know. The back and forth shit, I can’t handle it. She’s playing the same games Stella did. She wanted me, then she wanted space, and then when she saw I was hanging out with other women, she wanted me again. I swear, it’s like whenever I fall for a chick and develop real feelings for her, it’s one that wants to fuck with my head and doesn’t know what she wants.”

“I’m sorry, brother. Do you want me to talk to her?”

“No. Nothing will make her more uncomfortable than my brother calling and trying to be all Dr. Phil or some shit. She’ll think I lost my balls and really stay away from me. Libby is strong and independent. She doesn’t like needy dudes.”

“I understand. I was only trying to help.”

“I know, and that’s why I love you, but I think this one I have to figure out on my own.”

“I’ll talk to Gretchen and see if she has any tips for you. Women think a lot differently than we do, bro. I’m not even kidding. When she goes into her psychoanalyzing bullshit and tries to do studies on me, I run for the hills.”

I laugh. “You love her psychoanalyzing bullshit.” Gretchen is in medical school to be a psychiatrist.

“You’re right, just don’t tell her that, but I have class in thirty minutes. Good luck on your show tonight and everything else.”

“I will.”

He stops me before I hang up. “And you know what this is the best time for?”

“I know.”

“Get it done.”

I hang up and pull my notebook from my luggage.

Then I start to morph my feelings into my next song.

* * *

“I love Thailand, man,” Spencer says, walking into the living room of my suite. I finished my show an hour ago and just got out of the shower. Some of my friends flew into Thailand for my show, so I feel like I owe them an enjoyable time tonight. “Every time I come here, I beg Yasmine to quit modeling so we can sell everything and move here.”

I pull my shirt on and run my hand through my wet hair. “I have a feeling Yasmine isn’t going for it.”

“Nope, she’s too much into her work to even think about settling down somewhere, which I don’t understand. She doesn’t have to work. I have plenty of money to provide for us for the rest of our lives.”

Spencer created a social network app that blew up. He makes a killing in ads and has even had billion dollar offers to purchase it, but he declines every one. He doesn’t want to be a sell-out. He has millions, is dating one of the biggest supermodels in the world who is also cool as shit, so I don’t blame him for wanting to settle down off the grid.

I sit down and watch him go to the mini-bar to make a drink. He drains it and then stares straight at me. I can tell he’s about to say something I don’t want to hear.

“What the hell is going on?” I ask.

“You’re not going to like this, and I want to point out in advance that it’s not my fault, but a few extra peeps decided to tag along on this trip to see your show. I tried to stop it, so did Yasmine, but everyone accused us of being assholes taking your side.”

My shoulders curl forward in dread. “Spit it out and don’t bullshit me.”

“Stella is here.”

“Mother fucker,” I hiss. We hang out in the same crowds, so I knew occasionally running into her would happen, but I wasn’t counting on her flying thousands of miles to see me.

“She decided to come last minute with Jasmine.” Jasmine is Yasmine’s sister. “We couldn’t exactly kick them off the jet, and they had already purchased tickets to your show, so we couldn’t stop that, either.”

I groan, tipping my head down and shaking it. “This isn’t going to look good, man.”

He plops down in the chair next to me and drops the hand holding his drink in the middle of his legs. “Look, she wants to talk to you or some shit. I don’t know if you’re involved with anyone at the moment, but she kept blabbering about still having feelings for you.” He grunts. “It sure put a damper on the whole plane ride.”

Spencer is another one that texted me the video of Libby saying we were done. He hasn’t brought it up since, most likely not trying to drag up bad memories if we broke up, so I haven’t had a chance to tell him I’ve talked to her.

“It’s cool, thanks for having my back. I’m trying to work shit out with Libby, so Stella showing up here is the last damn thing I need. It’s going to look bad. If you and the gang are here, they’ll know we’re going out and paparazzi will be waiting to find something to take a picture of.”

“I’ll try to keep her away from you the best that I can. Don’t bail on us. I’ve been waiting to go out with my boy for months, and Thailand is our mother-fucking city.”

“I’m not bailing, but I’m telling you right now, keep her away from me.”

He pulls out his phone. “I’m texting Yasmine right now to let Stella know you’re not interested.”

I snort. “That won’t stop her.” She’s not someone who likes to hear or accept the word no.

I look up when I hear a knock on the door. “Yeah … I told George to let them up.”

“Fuck. Let the ex-girlfriend dodging begin.”

* * *

I need to figure out a way to leave the club without looking ungrateful that Spencer and my friends chartered a private jet to come see me.

I love hanging out with my friends, especially when I’m in a different country where I don’t know anyone, but Stella being here is putting a huge buzz kill on the occasion. I’m trying to stay as far away from her as I can, but she’s inching closer and closer as the night gets later.

I’m nursing a beer and watching everyone have a great time around me when I notice her coming my way.

Shit.

I tense up. Whatever is about to happen most likely isn’t going to be a brief and friendly conversation. I see the determination in her eyes.

“Your show was amazing,” she says, sitting down next to me on the couch in the back of the club. “It reminded me of how I used to go to every show of yours and watch you perform. The love you have for your art is beautiful. I forgot how much I enjoyed it.”

“Thank you,” I reply.

The music is blaring around us, and she leans in closer so we can hear each other better. “Remember last time we were in Thailand?” I nod, and she lets out a light laugh. “I told you it was my dream vacation and then you took me for my twenty-first birthday. I’ll never forget that. It’s the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

“I’m glad you had fun.” I’m trying not to act like an asshole. Maybe her intentions aren’t bad.

“Do you miss me?” There’s the Stella I know, going straight in for the kill.

“I’m happy with where I am right now.”

“You didn’t answer the question.”

“How do I answer your question without sounding like a dick? I loved you, and there will probably always be a special place in my heart for you, Stella, but that’s it – a place in my heart for the first girl I loved, but not the only one. I don’t miss you because what we had wasn’t meant to last forever, and we both know that. We outgrew each other. I’ll always consider you a friend. That’s it.”

“You don’t mean that,” she whispers, her lower lip trembling. She starts shaking her head over and over again. “Tell me you don’t mean that.”

“I do. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but if you came here with the hopes of us getting back together, it’s not going to happen. I want to be upfront about that right now.”

“Let’s try again,” she pleads, scooting in closer.

“I’m sorry, but that’s not what I want.”

She throws her head back, ready to move in from another angle. If sadness won’t reel me in, she’ll go for another way. “Don’t play games. We have history that you can’t throw away. We’ve dated other people but always end up back together. Let’s stop wasting our time and try for real.”

Stella is upset I’m moving onto someone else. Sure, I’ve dated and fucked other women, but they were never anything serious like I have with Libby. I’ve never felt something as strong as I feel for her. And Stella knows it, which is why she’s here. She knows when I love and care about someone because at one time she was who I loved.

“Thank you for coming to my show, but that’s not what I want.” She moves forward and tries to sit on my lap, but I swat her away. “Fucking stop, Stella.”

“Please.” Tears are streaming down her face, causing her mascara to run with them. “I hate seeing you with someone else.”

“I hope you find someone to make you happy.”

I slide away from her and go on the hunt for Spencer to let him know I’m taking off. Yasmine and him are staying in my suite, and I want to make it clear that Stella cannot crash with them, under no circumstances. I don’t care if I have to pay to get her a separate room myself.

I’m almost to him when I notice the guy with a camera phone in his hand, tracking my every move.

Mother fucker.

This isn’t going to look good.

I call Libby as soon as I get back to my room. It goes to voicemail.

It’s one in the morning here, and eleven in the morning there, so there’s no way she’s still sleeping. She’s an early riser.

I hit her name again.

No answer.

I hit the text icon.

Me: Call me as soon as you can.