Libby

“He keeps trying to call me,” I tell Mia. My phone starts ringing again. I hit the ignore button. It beeps. “And texting.”

This is why I wanted to keep my distance from a relationship with Knox. Even though we agreed to take things slow and not make anything serious, it still hurt when I saw the picture of him and Stella in the club. They are in Thailand together – a woman does not fly that far to see a man uninvited. This is what I’d been afraid of, and it’s killing me more than I expected.

“Answer your phone and quit acting childish,” Mia demands. “Listen to what the man has to say.”

“You mean listen to his excuses? No thank you. I don’t want to interrupt him and his girlfriend.”

“He’s trying to call you, his girlfriend, so obviously you wouldn’t be interrupting shit.”

I take one of my pillows next to me and throw it across the room in an attempt to deflate some of the anger rising through me. “Why would he do this? He knows I’m stressed out about classes and about him hanging out in clubs with women.”

My phone starts ringing again. Mia reaches across the bed, snags it from me, and answers before I have the chance to stop her.

“Hey Knox,” she answers. “Yes, she’s right here. Hold please.” I shoot her a dirty look when she hands the phone off to me. “Listen to what he has to stay,” she mouths before jumping off my bed and leaving the room.

At least she’s giving me some privacy, which is surprising.

My chest tightens when I put the phone to my ear. “Hello.”

“You’ve seen them, haven’t you?” Knox rushes out.

“Are you asking if I saw the pictures of you cuddled up in some club with your ex-girlfriend?”

“Hold up. I wasn’t cuddled up with her.”

“My bad, I’ll correct myself. Are you asking me if I’ve seen the pictures of you hanging out in some club with your ex-girlfriend in a country I’m sure she doesn’t frequent often, which means she came there for you.”

“It doesn’t look good, I know, but let me explain.”

“Fine, explain away.”

“Some friends came to see the show, and Stella decided to tag along. I didn’t know she was coming until they were already here. I made it clear to her that she and I are completely over. You know I’m in love with you and don’t want anyone else. If I was fucking around with her, would I be calling you right now?” I stay quiet. “Do you want to Facetime so you know I’m here alone – wishing you were next to me?”

“That’s not necessary,” I snap.

“Then tell me you believe me. Tell me you trust me.”

I want to believe him, but that still doesn’t change the fact that there’s some doubt lingering in my thoughts. I watched my dad pull this move time and time again when he had girlfriends. He’d talk to them on the phone, assuring them he was alone and going to bed when instead he’d have another girl over as soon as he hung up.

“You don’t believe me,” he says, softly. “Why?”

I need to be honest with him. “You have this gorgeous, famous, and exotic woman there wanting to be with you. I’m this broke girl with pink stripes in my hair that’s crashing at her friend’s house while attending college. That’s pretty self-explanatory. It was a summer fling, Knox, but we’re too opposite. It’ll never work. Maybe temporarily, but not permanently.”

“Sunshine, I’ve had exotic and rich. I’ve also had pink streaks and snarky attitudes. I’ll take the pink hair over everything and everyone. It’s much more authentic, fun, and satisfying. I can promise you’re not some fling. You’re my forever.”

“I don’t want to be that jealous girl,” I whisper.

“Then don’t be. You have no reason to be jealous of anyone. You’re the only one getting my attention. You. Do you hear me? Trust me, Libby.”

“The problem is that I can’t.” I’m still trying to erase the images I saw of him and Stella from my mind, but it’s impossible. I’m trying to fight off ideas of them messing around, but I’m losing the battle. No matter what, my heart will always remember what’s happened in the past.

“Don’t … don’t do this,” he begs. “You promised. You swore to me you’d try.”

“I did try!”

I pull my phone away when he tries to Facetime me and hit the reject button. I can’t do that right now. It’ll kill me.

“You won’t even look at me?” he yells. I stay silent, and he lets out a sharp laugh. “You’re going to throw everything that we’ve built away because of some ridiculous fear of another woman getting my attention? If I’m interested in fucking other women, why do I call you every single damn night? Why am I always checking in so you know you’re the only one on my mind?”

“But she’s there! Last time I checked, Thailand is more than a hop and a skip away. She came there to see you!”

“And? I didn’t ask her to. You’re going to be around men daily in your classes. Do I wonder about you connecting with any of them? Yes, the idea has crossed my mind, but I trust you. I wish you could do the same with me.”

I’m crumbling inside, but I keep my voice straight. “You focus on your tour right now. I’ll focus on school, and we’ll talk or something when you get back, okay?”

“You’re making a mistake.”

“Space is good for relationships sometimes.”

“No, space is a bullshit excuse for someone being weak and scared.”

“Then maybe I’m weak,” I croak out.

“You promised! You promised you’d fight for us.”

“Some promises can’t be kept.”

He scoffs, and his voice turns cold. “Fine, you win, Libby. All promises are out the door. It’s over. We’re over. Have a nice life.”

The line goes dead.

I stare down at my phone, debating with myself whether I should call him back, as I wipe away the tears running down my face.

I feel like a heartless bitch right now, but it’s for the best. I can’t be blamed for protecting my heart.

“Fucking coward!” I look up at the sound of Mia’s voice to see her standing in the doorway with a look of annoyance on her face.

I hold my hand up, not wanting to hear her make me feel even worse. “I told you to stay out of my business.”

“You keep pushing him away like this, one day he won’t come back.”

“Good.” Her eyes narrow in on me at my response. “I have too much shit to focus on right now than some silly relationship that’ll never last.”

“Coward,” she spats out again. “It’s not a silly relationship if you love each other.”

I throw my hands up. “How do you think I feel, Mia? I’m about to go to classes and all I can think about is him hanging out with her. A girl doesn’t fly across the country to see an ex who doesn’t want anything to do with her.”

“Did he know she was coming?”

“He said no.”

“Then there’s your answer, genius. He didn’t invite her.”

“She posted a throwback picture of them kissing on Instagram the same night. How do you explain that?”

“She’s obviously trying to get in your head. Shit, I’d do the same thing if Dixon started dating someone else. It’s what you do when you’re desperate. She knew she could get to you that way.”

“It doesn’t matter. He pretty much said he was done and hung up on me.”

“Whatever, you’re going to be the one who regrets it in the long run.”