Chapter 6
She certainly knew how to dodge talking. Gyyx had never met a woman who liked to play the way he did. He didn’t expect his tiny little mate to be able to handle him that way, but she proved a second time that she not only could handle it, but she seemed to prefer it. He loved how her body reacted to his, and even though she was small she could certainly take a lot.
He loved everything about her, but he had a feeling the reason why she distracted him from talking was because there was something about her past she wasn’t proud of, but he didn’t care about that. He would never judge her based of things she had already done. To him past mistakes were what made the person. Everyone made mistakes; it was how those mistakes affected their lives afterward that mattered.
He lay next to her slowing his breathing. Her small hand rubbed his chest, and he picked it up and brought it to his lips kissing her knuckles.
“I know what you did Leia, and it’s okay. You’re not ready to talk yet.”
He looked at her as she paled. “I’m sorry. There are some things in my past I’m not proud of. I’m not ready to see your shame.”
He tensed when he saw a tear slide down her cheek.
“Oh sweetheart, I would never be ashamed of you. No matter what you think you did that was so horrible, that is in your past. Everyone has to make mistakes in their life to grow. There are a lot of things I’ve done, that I’m not too proud of myself. Everyone does it.”
She wiped at her eyes and nodded. “My past wasn’t too long ago though. Before I was taken it was still a part of who I was. In a way those things that took me, saved me from myself.”
Gyyx growled. He hated knowing that she was ever taken. “How long did they have you?”
She closed her eyes and licked her lips. “57 days. One of them had a thing about counting the days.” She shrugged. “I didn’t care after a while. It was my punishment. That’s what they told me. It was like they knew all of my secrets. I had gone numb.”
“Oh sweetheart, nothing you ever did could have deserved being kidnapped by those slimy monsters.” He hated how down she was. There was something that happened she wasn’t proud of; he would prove to her he didn’t care as soon as she told him what it was she thought was so bad. In the meantime, he didn’t pry. “The Klimnu are smart bastards. We have been struggling with their attacks for years. They are always ahead of us. We got lucky to burn that prison in the Wastelands down. My brothers have been patrolling more. We aren’t letting them take any more of our women. They attacked Eden, took Eliana, and now you. It’s getting ridiculous.”
She nodded and laid her head on his chest. “I did things to survive, but that’s no excuse for liking what I did.”
He kept his mouth shut and ran his fingers though strands of her hair hoping she would keep talking. She did and it killed him not to interrupt and wipe away the tears he felt drip on his bare chest.
“My father kicked me out when I was 17. Mom had just passed away and he couldn’t cope. He got drunk and he got mean. More times than not he used his fists instead of his words to show me just how angry he was. I left and was on the streets. I wasn’t dressed provocatively or anything, but I was walking in a bad part of town. It was where the hookers did their thing. One of the men stopped me and offered me a place to stay and warmth. I only had to do everything he said. At that point it was freezing cold so I agreed without even realizing what I was getting myself into. Or maybe I did.
“For months he used me and my body in any way he chose. In reward he pampered me, and at first I hadn’t realized he’d been drugging me. It was when I told him I was too tired that the withdrawals came. It was then I knew he was using drugs to keep me. I had no idea I was an addict until he took them away. I went crazy, and he kicked me to the curb. I was used and abused.
The story could go on forever. I was with several different men who did the same thing, but it seemed to be something I couldn’t get away from. The last man though he hurt me physically, and I ran away. It was then I met an elder woman who ran the bakery. She gave me food and gave me a place to stay. She is the one who helped me get clean and off of the streets. That was right before I was taken.” She sobbed. “She probably thinks I went back, but I was enrolled in college, working at her bakery. I was really getting my life together.”
“That’s why I was coming here actually. I’m an artist, and I was supposed to be the first student here. I don’t know if you know about the program, your dad arranged with our college to send one student every semester to study the lands and learn about your culture. I was the first, but I got intercepted.”
Gyyx was tense. All the things she had just laid on him confused him. Why would anyone give their body away to people who hurt them? He didn’t think lower of her, it just surprised him. He didn’t understand women from Earth. They were so different than Denynso women. They were more emotional and reactive. He licked his lips. “Yeah, we thought the college changed their mind since no one showed up. We haven’t been able to get in contact with the administrator or anything.”
She sat up and watched him weary as if she were waiting for him to say something horrible about her not so recent past. He wouldn’t. She made decisions to survive. He had no idea what living on Earth was like. He didn’t know what it was like to be shoved to the street by someone who was supposed to love him. “I don’t think any differently about you sweetheart.”
Her eyes widened and she sobbed covering her face with her tiny hands. It was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen. She was so ashamed of herself. He could feel her self-hate, and he wanted to wash it all away. He would too. He would love her the way she deserved, and he would help her love herself as well as love him.