“Earth to Daren. Hello, douchebag.”

My best friend Jax stares at me across my kitchen table.

“What?” I ask, confused why he looks so pissed. I just fed the man.

“If you check your phone one more time, I’m gonna shove it up your ass.”

I roll my eyes with a laugh.

When a text comes in a minute later—the fifth one like this today—I start to get pissed. Glaring at Jax, I point my phone at him. “Did you sign me up to get porn pics sent to my phone? Or to get offers for sex”—I hold up my phone to read—“‘in your area. Discreet and convenient.’”

He barks out a laugh. “No, but I wish I had. That’s hysterical.”

“I’ve been getting them all day. I wonder if Quentin did this.” But really, this isn’t his style. Quentin would roll up on the corner with three girls and offer me one. “Fuck. I need to change my number.”

Jax asks for my phone, and I hand it to him.

“Won’t Dani mind that you’re looking at porn?” I ask, deciding I need to give him shit.

He laughs and shakes his head. “Dude, she watches it with me. She rocks my world. And anyway, her bod is way hotter. And the bonus? She won’t melt if she stands too close to the radiator.”

Okay then.

He tosses my phone back at me, and after I delete the text and block the number, I stare down at it, waiting for the one text I do want. I know the florist should have delivered the arrangement by now, but Maddie hasn’t called or texted, and I’m starting to get worried I went overboard.

Jax is talking, and I nod back at him. Then he murmurs, “I’m a hoe and I want to give you a blow.”

I nod again.

“Put your man nipples away. They’re turning me on.”

I stare at him. “What?”

“Exactly, dickhead. You’re not listening.” He glares at me a long minute before tossing a napkin at my head.

“Sorry. I guess I’m a little distracted.”

“Ya think?” He chuckles. “This has to be about a girl.”

“Why do you assume that? Maybe I’m waiting on a call from my agent.”

“This can’t be football because you’re usually serious as fuck about it, and it can’t be about that cunt Veronica because she just pisses you off.”

“Hey, don’t call her that.” I might still be pissed at her, but that’s no excuse to call a woman that word.

He places his hand over his heart. “So sorry. Let me rephrase. It can’t be about that bitchface Veronica.”

Like that’s better. I shake my head, not interested in talking about her anymore. Or ever again for that matter.

“This has nothing to do with her. She’s off, hopefully getting her life together. I wish her well.” Even as I say those words, I realize I don’t mean them. Not yet. I’m still too angry. But I know myself, and someday, I think I will mean it. At least, I hope I will.

He gives me a look and then rolls his eyes. “I’m not gonna recount all the ways that chick made you miserable. She even made you stop calling my sister by the nickname you gave her when you guys were in diapers.”

Emmie. I couldn’t say Clem or Clementine when I was little, so she was my Emmie. After she and I worked through our baggage last fall, Veronica pitched a fit, making me swear I’d never call my ex-girlfriend by that nickname. I’m not sure why it was so important to her. Maybe it suggested too much familiarity. I don’t know. But the one time I slipped, Veronica threw a plate across my kitchen, shattering it against the wall.

Jax makes a face. “I’m just glad you got both of your heads straight.”

He would think I was with Veronica for some weird sex reason. But in the last year we were together, she and I barely slept together. We were too busy arguing.

“Was it over my sister? Because you guys started talking again?” Jax asks, lowering his voice, sounding almost regretful. But that’s crazy, because Jax would never feel bad over me breaking up with Veronica.

I rub the back of my neck. “That was part of it, I guess. But you and Clementine are two of my best friends. My oldest friends. And if Veronica didn’t understand my need to work through things with Clem, then she never understood the kind of person I want to be.” Sighing only partially eases the ache that still lingers. “You and your twin sister are a package deal. It sucked only having you around. No offense.”

“Ouch, bro.” He gives me a pained grimace, and I toss a crouton at his head, which he dodges with a laugh.

“How’s your girl doing?” I ask, hoping his favorite subject turns this conversation into something less depressing before I put my head in the oven. “And please don’t tell me any more shit about the two of you and porn,” I mumble under my breath.

His eyes light and he smiles a big, goofy grin. “Dani’s fucking awesome. What can I say? I love her.”

I laugh and grab my Gatorade bottle for a drink. “Have you guys set a date?” Shockingly enough, my former manslut best friend fell in love last year with his sister’s roommate. Taking the saying “Go Hard or Go Home” seriously, he asked Dani to marry him during half time at a Celtics game while on the kissing cam.

“No, we’re gonna wait until she’s done with school, and I can finish out my first season.”

Nodding, I can’t help but be proud of him. He got recruited to play pro soccer, and for the first time ever, he’s focused on all of the right things.

“Remind me to thank Dani for setting you straight.”

He laughs. “I do it every day.”

Aww, shit. There he goes, getting that little lovesick look in his eyes again.

I clear my throat, deciding to come clean after Jax’s little display of affection for Dani. “So… I’ve maybe met someone.”

His hand freezes midway between his plate and his open mouth. “I knew it!” He slams his fist down with a laugh. “And she’s not some she-devil lunatic parading as a normal human being?”

“She’s pretty awesome, actually.” I’m tempted to tell him more, but it’s still early, and I promised Maddie to keep us under wraps. Although we made that agreement when we were just sleeping together, I’m hoping last night changed something for her. It did for me.

“And?” He drops his fork and waits.

“And nothing. She’s a friend, and I like her. She’s really talented and funny and driven. She has her shit together, and I enjoy spending time with her.”

Silence settles between us until his lip turns up into something that resembles a snarl. “Dude, that’s all you’re gonna give me? For real?”

“Sorry, man.”

He holds his hands up. “Fine. I won’t pry because you’re obviously serious about this girl.” Then his eyebrow lifts. “But she’s hot, right?”

“Fuck, yes, she’s hot. Now stop digging.”

We eat in silence, and then he chuckles. “I bet she’s psyched about your bachelor contest, huh?”

Oh, hell.

That stupid thing. I wish I could just donate money to the St. Martin’s Homeless Shelter like I have in the past, but my financial situation isn’t the same anymore, and I have to budget more carefully.

But hopefully the contest doesn’t upset Maddie. Besides, she has a front row seat. She’s one of the hosts of the event, so I know she understands why I’m doing this.

Even so, I wish we could date like normal people and not have everything we do scrutinized.

I nod at Jax. “It’ll be cool. I’m sure we can handle it.” I hope.