Two Weeks Later

I shouldn’t be here.

I was playing with fire and waiting to be burned.

Everything inside of me said to leave. To disappear into the night behind the trees and as far away from Laurel as possible. She was like a damn magnet not allowing me to stay away. The pull between us was too much for me to deny.

My willpower needed serious work. I lasted two weeks. Two fucking weeks before I had to seek her out. In the past, I made my presence known. I wasn’t ashamed of following her. I wanted her to see me, feel me, crave me.

Now, though, I drove by her place, her work. That was how I had been for the last two weeks. I was the creepy stalker she could feel but couldn’t see. I watched her go to the little café and have her lunch. I just did it in a way that she couldn’t see me. I was a glutton for punishment. Each time, the anger inside me grew more and more. She needed to move on from me and I her, but I’d come to realize that I couldn’t. No matter what I did, what I thought, or what I said, she was always there pulling me. I wished I could beat my own ass. I hated myself. I hated the way I couldn’t turn her loose. I hated the fact that I couldn’t hold onto her. I hated life, love.

I fucked up.

I destroyed everything in the blink of an eye.

I killed what we had and buried it six feet under.

There was no one to blame but myself.

My pride though, wouldn’t allow me to go to her. I talked to Tatum, her long-time friend. They were going out tonight, on my dime. Tatum hated me. She loved Laurel though, so she listened as I told her step-by-step what I wanted her to do tonight. Laurel needed this to be happy. She needed to be out with her friends, having fun, and smiling. She deserved a life of devotion and love. While I couldn’t give her a future, I could make sure she had fun with her friends. It would kill me, but I would stand back and watch as she eventually found love and moved on for good.

My chest tightened. I pulled out my cigarette just putting it between my fingers. Old habits die hard, but there was no interest in lighting the thing. My Zippo was still on me, but it wouldn’t get struck.

Everything with the business was going well. Andrei had his baby, and his brother was wiped out. We received our money and made sure Melanie felt the hit financially of fucking around with us. Even with her on the move, we kept tabs on her. I was sure Andrei was too, and he was waiting to make his move. We were giving Andrei time to close in and take her out. If he didn’t, then Dane had connections and would be personally end her himself if that was what ensured her silence.

For us, the Petrov baby was behind us, and business went on as usual. We only had three openings at the houses, but those would soon be filled.

The numbers were fantastic, pulling in more money than the previous month. There was nothing there to pique my interest, not even the numbers. Numbers had always been my go-to thing to keep my mind brewing. Lately, when I had to balance clients’ budgets or business expenses, there was no joy. Finding better expenses or ways to cut costs didn’t ease the part of me inside that always wanted to run.

The only thing that brought me the slightest bit of joy was this right here. Watching Laurel step out into the brisk night sky, smiling with her friends. There were three of them. Terrie, Tatum, and my angel.

She was beautiful as ever, her blonde hair curled and hanging down her back. The soft white dress floated in the breeze, and I could make out some small red roses on it. She had on suede cowboy boots and a denim jacket. My cock throbbed, begging for its angel.

Laurel fell behind, and a sad expression crossed her beautiful face as she sucked in a deep breath and let it out. She was in pain, and I did it to her.

Didn’t she realize this was for the best? That if I were to stay with her, she’d be in some sort of danger all the time, and I wouldn’t be able to stop it. She wouldn’t want to live life holed away in a cabin so I could protect her. The risks were too high. Didn’t she see that I was no good for her and never would be?

She had to know. There was no denying it no matter how hard I really wanted to.

Laurel had been my reason for living since I was a kid, and she still was to this day. That would never change. Now though, she could go out and experience all the things she wanted too and not be tied down to a man who made his money selling babies.

I scrubbed my hand over my face, watching as they pulled out of the driveway and down the road. I made sure they had invitations to a private club for a performance of a local band that had recently been signed to a big label. Laurel loved their soft rock with a little touch of country and soul blend. I hacked her playlist for work and knew they were her current favorite. I couldn’t give her me, but I could give her pieces of happiness like this tonight.

Fuck. Letting her go was impossible. My fingers ached to feel her skin. My tongue pulsed wanting to taste her. Every inch of me was made just for Laurel.

I’d always said that the way us four grew up shaped us into the men we were today, but I’d often wondered how things would’ve been different for Laurel and me if life had been different. If we would’ve met in school and didn’t have all the extra baggage of our home lives.

Would we have worked out? Would we have seen through whatever came our way?

The what ifs didn’t play in my world, though. They were the things that got you killed. Sad thing was, without Laurel, I already felt dead. But I knew if something happened to her because of what I did, who I was, or who I associated with, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. So while I might be miserable without her, I was okay knowing not a damn thing would touch her.

Nothing mattered. Not work, not my friends, absolutely nothing. My secretary was always up for a good fuck in the office, but my cock didn’t want her. In fact, I gave her a nice severance package and sent her to another accounting firm with not one but two single male accountants. My new secretary was Ellen Sue’s age. While she wasn’t exactly the best at technology, she wasn’t pawing at me, and the woman could make one strong as fuck cup of coffee.

I found myself daydreaming a lot lately. Something I hadn’t done since I first arrived at the orphanage. Back then, I used to let my mind hold onto life at my grandmother’s house. I would close my eyes and think of her morning muffins and her smile that was so big it made her eyes crinkle to where they almost looked closed. I remembered dancing, standing on my head, doing anything I could to see my grandmother’s smile. She was a light.

Then she started getting lost. I would be in front of her, but it was like she was looking right through me. She forgot to pick me up, forgot to make dinner, and even forgot my name. It was hard those days, and I would close my eyes just to hold onto the good times.

Day in and day out, I found myself daydreaming again. Not about my past, but what my future could’ve been. I think that hurt more than dwelling on what I had lost, thinking about what could’ve been. Going to work, coming home to see her smile. I stood in the shadows picturing it.

“Come on, angel.”

“Where’re we goin’?” she asked with a soft smile. Her hair was done in curls down her back while she wore a strapless blue dress that I couldn’t wait to peel off her body later. My cock hardened.

“Date night,” I whispered. “I’m hoping if I take my woman out and show her a good time, she’ll let me at least make it to third base,” I teased her.

She winked. “If you order dessert, she might just let you score a homerun.”

My chest tightened at the thoughts. I could have that. But at what cost? What risk to her?

If something happened to her, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. I stood outside watching them enter the bar. The light in her eyes was gone. She was a shell of the woman I knew her to be.

In time, she would be back to herself. In time, she would find love again. She would find happiness. She would move on.

While it killed me to know all of this, I had to let her work through it and find her freedom. I would only hold her back.