“That went well.” I give a dry, forced laugh but Razor doesn’t respond. It’s easy to see he’s upset, he’s worn his emotions on his sleeve since he was a kid, and he’s still like that now.

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna go chop some wood.” He avoids my eyes and gets his snow gear back on.

I can tell he wants to be alone. The truth is, I need some time to sort through this stuff too. I walk down to my room and dive onto my bed, rolling onto my back I stare at the ceiling for answers to questions I haven’t even fully worked out yet.

Why am I pissed off? Did I think she was going to just abandon her life and live out here with us?

Rationally, no. But, I guess I couldn’t shut down the fantasy. The tiny thread of hope that somehow the three of us could make this a long-term arrangement.

I want to be happy for the time we all have left together. After storms like this, planes and helicopters don’t head out to pick up stranded people if they’re in safe situations first. They have a backlist of higher priority people to look after. The sick, the injured, those who are exposed to the elements. It means Caitlin will be here for at least a few more days. Shouldn’t I stop sulking and enjoy whatever moments we have left?

A soft knock at my door draws my attention. “Yeah?”

Caitlin opens it, hanging onto the knob, she looks at me with uncertainty swirling in her eyes. “Where’s Razor?”

“He needed some time to himself, he’s out chopping wood.”

She bites her lip and her eyebrows knit together. She won’t look me straight in the eyes, she keeps staring at the blanket on my bed, like she’s transfixed by it. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, come in.” I sit up and swing my legs over the side of the bed, waiting for her to sit next to me. “What’s up?” I look down at my hands, distracting myself with the way I’m rubbing my fingers together. I don’t want her to see any emotions on my face. I don’t want her to know that it shreds me inside to think of her leaving. If that’s her decision, it’s hers to make. I won’t try to stop her.

“I was just wondering what you thought about me leaving? I could tell Razor wasn’t happy to hear that I’m gonna go, but I couldn’t tell what you were thinking.” She tries to turn her head so she can see my face, but I tilt my face away.

“It’s up to you.” I shrug.

The truth is, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if it could even work out, having her here long-term. However, what I know for sure is I don’t want to watch her leave our lives forever.

“So, you’re fine with it?” She crosses her arms, folding them over herself like a hug she’s not getting from me.

I twist up my sadness, my disappointment and my frustration and roll them into a ball that I fling deep down into my gut. I refuse to let myself break down over something like this. I need a distraction, I don’t want to sit here and talk about feelings, especially not these ones.

“Is this the real reason you came in here?” I finally let myself look at her, avoiding her question, but finally meeting her eyes. “Or was there something else you wanted from me.” I lean into her, slide my hand up the back of her neck and pull her into a long, rough kiss.

I don’t want to taste every inch of her soft skin. It’s going to be hard enough to forget her as it is. I don’t need to spend more time memorizing her. I want to fuck her, to wash away my emotions with animal sex that makes us both forget how to speak.

I break from her mouth but hold her neck as I kiss a fast, reckless path over her neck. I slide my hands up her shirt and yank it off her so quick she looks a little stunned. A stab of guilt in my gut makes me pause for a moment. Is this even okay? None of us have talked about our arrangement much, but before now, it’s always been three of us fucking or none. I decide that Razor isn’t the jealous type, I can’t see him getting too upset about it.

“I’m pretty sure there’s another reason you wanted to come in here, and I’m about to fucking give it to you,” I growl in her ear as I flick open her bra. I grab the front of it and twist my hand up in the bright blue fabric, ripping it down her arms and chuck it on the floor.

“Oh, Ace,” she mewls. But it hurts my heart to hear her calling my name so softly. I don’t want soft. I don’t want fucking sad. I don’t want heartache.

“Stand up, now.” I help pull her to her feet so she’s standing in front of me. I unbutton her pants and roughly pull them down until they’re down around her knees with her panties. “Fucking perfect.” I lick my finger until it’s glistening with saliva and rub it over her slit. Caitlin opens her stance a bit and I press my finger inside.

She’s fucking wet.

And I’m fucking ready.

I lift her from her feet and stand up. Pushing her over the bed, I pull my hard cock free and jam it inside her with so much urgency she yelps. I clap my hand over her mouth, muffling her cries and press my weight down onto her, enjoying fucking her hard with her face down and ass up for me.

“Ohhh!” she cries and I stick my finger in her mouth. The one still covered in her own juices and she licks it all off. She sucks on my finger like she sucked on my cock that first time. Her mouth tight around it, her tongue swirling over the tip.

Suddenly she tenses up and her pussy quivers around me as she grabs onto the blanket on my bed and twists it up in her fists. She drops my finger from her mouth as she cries out, and I give her ass a firm slap as the pleasure ripples through her.

I can’t hold back, I’m gonna blow my load. “I’m gonna cum, Caitlin, where do you want it?”

“On my ass,” she moans, writhing beneath me.

I pull out and jerk my cock a couple times, aiming the arcs of white jizz at her round, firm ass. I grunt, marking her with pearly stripes of my seed, until there’s nothing left.

Caitlin stands up and smears my cum into her skin, making it glisten like a silvery sheen. We both collapse on my bed. I tuck my cock back into my pants and zip up as a hazy cloud of exhaustion rolls in over my mind.

I let the need for sleep take over me. I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m spent. Both physically and emotionally worn out. I let my eyelids slide shut and finally let it all go as I fall asleep.