Shared by the Mountain Men by Eddie Cleveland (29)

Chapter 18 | Abbie

Ka-caw! Caw!

My eyelids flutter open as the sound of a bird outside the window drags me from my peaceful sleep. Outside, I can see a big, black crow pecking at an acorn. The warm streaks of afternoon sun are bursting across the room, making it toasty warm in here. Not that sleeping next to a tall, burly man isn’t enough to keep my blood pumping.

Caw! The crow mouths off before taking off into flight. It’s funny how back home a constant stream of honking horns from gridlocked traffic would put me out like a sweet lullaby, but actual noises from the world of nature are jarring to me.

I look up at Cole, sleeping like a baby next to me. Obviously he’s used to being surrounded by the sounds of the forest. He didn’t even flinch from the bird. He looks so calm next to me right now. Like the torrent of anguish he carries around, coursing through his soul, is also taking a nap, letting him recharge.

I can’t help but smile at his thick lips. Lips that brought me intense bliss I’ve never felt before. My cheeks flame up with the thought and the burn spreads down my neck and over my exposed breasts.

I love how I feel in his arms. If I’m honest, I love how it feels to be in his life. There’s something about a man that can not only take care of your needs, like keeping me fed not to mention making me cum… I lost my train of thought. Oh, right, but also being with a man who makes you feel safe.

Protected.

It gives me a deep comfort that I haven’t felt since childhood when Mama would reassure me there were no monsters under the bed, pulling back the blankets to prove it. Just that feeling that nothing can hurt you as long as you’re with them. That they can make the entire world a better place just for you. It calms that anxiety that I think every woman feels inside. The one that comes from the everyday battles and the constant background threats of the world we live in. It’s amazing to let those go, even if it’s only for a brief time.

What would Mama think of Cole? I try to imagine introducing her to him, back before she got sick. Would she think this was reckless?

“Abbie, please baby, hand me that water. I can’t reach that far,” she croaked at me after another round of chemo. She was always so weary after her treatment, it was like it took ten years off her. The same poison that she needed to kill off the cancer made her a feeble shell of the boisterous, happy woman who raised me.

“Here you go,” I helped bring the glass of water to her pale, cracked lips and she slowly sipped the liquid. When she was finished, she fell back against her pillow, strewing her headscarf to the side and sighed.

I hated seeing her that way. When I was a kid, my Mama was like Wonder Woman to me. Smart, pretty, heroically brave. It always felt like there was nothing she couldn’t do.

“I’m gonna let you get some rest, okay?” I whispered, unsure if she was already asleep.

“No,” she clutched my hand and her eyes sprang open, “please, don’t go.”

“Okay, of course,” I agreed.

“I need to talk to you, honey,” her voice sounded urgent. Like there was a family secret she needed to share before it was too late. Like whatever it was had been weighing on her for years.

I waited for her to catch her breath, holding her hand loosely so I wouldn’t add to the bruises on her frail skin.

“Abbie, please listen to me. You have always been my absolute pride. My heart bursts with joy when I think of you. I could never have been blessed with a better daughter. I’ve known that since the day you were born,” she swallowed hard.

“Thanks, but you don’t need to do this now…”

She held up her bony fingers and I clamped my mouth shut. I didn’t want to argue with her.

“I’ve never questioned what you want to do or tried to tell you what path to take, but honey, I’m running out of time.”

“No, you’re not,” tears slid from my eyes. Little did I know then, she was right. She must have known in her heart that the end of her struggle was in sight. It wasn’t even six months later that she took her last breath.

“Listen, please,” she pleaded quietly and I stopped protesting. “Abbie, you’re so smart, and I’m glad that you’re doing so well with your political science degree, I am. But, I’m worried for you too. Sometimes I see you taking the safest route. You’ve learned a lot about how the world works on paper in the last two years, but what have you experienced? What have you tasted, felt, smelled, and seen? What made you fall in love? What broke your heart? What made you so angry you decided to make a change? Do you understand what I mean?”

I knew what she was saying, but to understand the depth of her words, of her passion, that wouldn’t come until after she passed.

“Yes,” I agreed with her.

“Don’t wake up one day when you’re dying and realize that you never lived. I had a wild and crazy youth. I backpacked around South America, I hitchhiked across Europe, I had many jobs before I found my career. By the time I had you, I was ready to be a mom. I was ready to give all of myself to raising you because I never felt like I was missing out on anything. Please, honey, don’t go from my house, to college, to a career, to marriage, to kids, to regrets and then into your grave.” She coughed and leaned forward. I reached for her water and helped her take a longer sip this time.

“Mom, we can talk about this more when you’re feeling better. Right now, you need some sleep,” I helped her back onto her pillow.

She waved her hand, but closed her eyes. “I will,” she agreed. “Just promise me that you won’t spend so much time trying to live the perfect life that you wake up one day and realize all your experiences were sanitized and safe, Abbie. Life is messy. Get messy.”

“Okay, Mama,” I promised, not fully feeling the impact of her words.

It wasn’t until I dropped a handful of soil on her coffin that the conversation came back to me. It literally took getting my hand dirty from my mother’s funeral to spark an awakening inside me. It took her death to give me life.

Tears stream from the corners of my eyes and I snuggle in closer to Cole. Instinctively, he wraps his arm around me tighter and the slow, steady beat of his heart helps calm me down.

She would’ve approved, I smile despite my tears. My muscles are flooded with relief as I realize that my mother would be so happy to see me having a crazy adventure with a good man like Cole out in the Yukon woods. I breathe in deep, and let myself drift back into a hazy fog of happiness knowing that for the first time in my life, I’m actually living. And Mama would be proud.

Chapter 19 | Cole

I’m sitting in my old chair, the brown leather one from my living room. Damn I miss that thing. The way it moulded to my body, perfectly shaped against my skin. The rough cut chair I put together is a far cry from the comfort of that beauty.

Wait, why am I home? I look around my familiar house and the walls seem to form and appear as I turn my head to squint at them. It’s still as sparsely decorated as ever, I never did see much point in putting a bunch of paintings on the wall when I’m deployed half the time. Then I’d come home from a mission and get posted across the country anyway. It seemed silly to decorate just for the movers.

I slump back in my chair and enjoy being in my old place again. I didn’t realize how much I missed it. I may not have spent much time sprucing it up, but it was still home.

“Hey.”

I look up and Abbie is standing before me, I can’t help the way my jaw is flapping open. She’s startlingly sexy. Standing like a vision in a pastel pink nightie, her tits are spilling up over the lace and her rosebud nipples are barely contained inside.

I stare at the way the lace hugs her curves, studying the fabric design like it’s the key to my life’s happiness.

Hell, it might just be.

“What are you doing here?” My voice feels far away, like it isn’t coming from inside me.

She smiles that sweet, shy smile that makes me protect her from the world and teach her, as her personal professor, just how dirty a man can be. God damn! Her bright green eyes lock me in place, they make me forget she doesn’t belong there. That something about this is off.

“I think I figured out what I can do for you. You know,” her tongue swipes over her lips and I’m entranced, “something that I can do to make you feel good.” Her voice is husky. It doesn’t quite sound like her, but I don’t have the attention span to care. All I can see is the flicker in her eyes as she slowly slinks over to me and slides to her knees in front of me.

Suddenly, my pants are open and I’m watching her wrap her small hand around my thick cock. My muscles clench as I watch her lips slide down over my shaft, taking the entire thing into her mouth.

That’s not how an inexperienced girl gives a blowjob. I don’t care. I can’t think of anything I could possibly care about less in this moment. I can feel the wet heat of her mouth surrounding me. She slurps as she takes every inch of me deep inside, past her lips. Those lips. Has anyone ever had a more perfect pair? I watch as her head bobs. Her hair cascades around her face and she takes me deep in her mouth.

“I’m gonna cum,” I warn her, and she disappears.

What the fuck?

I twist around in my seat, searching for her. Fuck I’ll flip this chair right over if it means getting her back here to finish the job. Where did she go?

My balls ache and my gut twists up painfully as I call out her name. I try, but my voice won’t work.

I sit up, breathing hard and sweating. Abbie is lying next to me. Looking every bit as innocent as she did yesterday.

Part of me wants to wake her up with my rigid cock. To kiss her, grind against her, free my thick member from my pants and rub the tip against her clit until I can get her to relax enough to fuck her. To own that pussy. The one she’s never given to anyone. The one that will be mine.

Instead, I slide out of bed and go outside. I stop by a large tree on the perimeter of my camp and quickly unfasten my pants and pull out my cock. Spitting in my hand, I slide my cupped palm over my shaft and close my eyes, remembering her on her knees in my dream.

It felt so real. Her lips puckered around my thickness. Her wet warmth sucking at my cock. I pump my hand over my dick and get lost in the feeling. In a memory that doesn’t really belong to me, but that still feels real. My cum erupts in spurts that I watch fly in an arc over the ground, like a white rainbow, careful not to get any on me.

Fuck. That was intense.

Even in my teen years, I’ve never been one for wet dreams. But when I have gotten worked up over some chick, it’s always taken me longer than the ten seconds it just took to jerk myself to completion.

Now that the urgency to cum has been quelled and I’m thinking straight, I don’t think I’ve ever dreamt of a chick I’ve been with.

I tuck myself to the right and zip back up, mulling it over.

I’ve dated my fair share of girls. I even played house with a lady for about four months. Until I went away on a two-week exercise for the military and came home early to her banging some random guy in my bed. That was the end of that. However, before she decided to slut it up under my roof, on my mattress, using my condoms, I still never did dream of her.

Abbie is the first girl who has infiltrated my sleep that way.

I’m not sure why. I mean, obviously she’s beautiful, but I’ve been with beautiful before. It’s more than that. She’s different. I think even my subconscious knows that.

I look inside the cabin and see that she’s still asleep. There’s no good that will come of me lying back down beside her. She’s got me in too much of a frenzy.

I pluck my fishing rod from the side of the building and start to make my way down to the river. I might as well go do something useful if I’m up anyway. Besides, fishing always gives me time to think, and with Abbie on my mind, I’ve got a lot to ponder.

Chapter 20 | Abbie

The sound of the grill sizzling and the smell of something delicious wafting under my nose wakes me. I stretch in bed, throwing my arms wide over my head and try to figure out what he’s cooking. I can’t place the aroma, my tummy wants it to be a big plate of scrambled eggs and bacon, but my brain knows better.

Is it weird that I want to spring out of bed and run to him? That I already miss looking at his chiseled, scruffy jaw and his intense stare, even though I just woke?

I feel like a lovesick puppy dog. Probably typical of how a girl acts toward the first guy that’s ever made her cum. Yet, the thought doesn’t settle with me. In my gut, I know this feeling runs deeper than that. It isn’t about sex. It isn’t about him saving me, or even for him caring for me. All those things are the building blocks of the great man he is. They’re all just individual parts that attract me to the greater whole.

I manage to climb out of bed without ever making any noise, so that he doesn’t turn around. Progress! Although my ankle is still sore, it’s not nearly as brutal a pain as it was yesterday. For a moment, I even consider trying to walk out on it, but think better of pushing myself too far, too fast and hop over to the chair.

“Bout time you got up,” he looks up from the fillet of fish he’s frying. “You’d think something must have worn you out for you to sleep in so late,” he teases me and gives me a wink.

I can’t help the heat that billows out over my cheeks. It seems stupid to get embarrassed when less than twenty-four hours ago he was kissing my entire naked body. I guess I’m still not used to being so exposed. So vulnerable.

But I’m willing to get used to it.

“Smells so good,” I nod at the food and sit near him. “I thought you had oatmeal for breakfast though? I didn’t sleep in that late did I? Is it already lunch?” I run my hands through my hair like a makeshift brush and tilt my head.

“Nope, you didn’t miss breaky,” he grabs a towel and pulls the hot pan from the woodstove. “This is what’s on the menu. I figure since I’m going to need to move deeper in the forest and I’ll have to get used to fending for myself for all my meals. As far as I know, there’s no elves named Snap, Crackle and Pop who are going to deliver me boxes of Rice Krispies out there, so fish for breakfast is probably something I should get used to.” He chuckles and I laugh.

“Fair enough,” I take a plate of still sizzling fish that he’s handing out to me and a fork. I can’t wait to tell him about my ankle, how it’s already feeling so much better, but my growling stomach puts my priorities in order and I take a mouthful.

“Wow! This is so good,” I tell him around a cheek full of food.” Chomping it quickly, I take another bite.

“Everything tastes better out here, I find. I don’t know if it’s just being outside so much, or that I don’t have stuff to snack on all day, but it seems like my taste buds have come alive since I’ve started living like this,” he swirls his fork around the room.

I breathe in the fresh June air. Even from inside, I can smell the faint aroma of flowers and new growth in the woods. It’s like having a luxury rustic resort all to myself. Complete with a waterfall for a shower and a rugged, muscular guide to keep me safe.

I let myself imagine what his body must look like naked. How his broad chest looks without a shirt clinging to him. I bite my lip involuntarily and feel my heart speed up as my gaze travels further down, trying to peel his pants off in my mind.

“How long until you move out of here?” I focus my attention back on his face and try to keep it there.

Cole finishes swallowing the last bite of his fish and rests his plate on his knee, “Well, as soon as your ankle is good enough to make the trek, I’ll get you back into town and then I’ll be heading straight out. It’s only a matter of time until your boss or more people like him come to find me. I don’t want to be waiting here like a sitting duck, you know?” He wipes the glistening butter from his lips with the back of his hand and stands up to get more fish from the pan.

The food he made that had just tasted so vibrant turns to sawdust on my tongue. I don’t even want to finish the last couple of bites. The idea of him taking me back to Whitehorse and leaving my life forever makes my heart twist up in my chest like it’s clenched inside a tight fist.

I look down at my ankle and decide to keep my news about it healing to myself.

I know he’s right about being in danger here, but I’m in no rush to walk out of Cole’s life. This is the first time I’ve felt truly alive in my twenty-two years. I know it’s greedy, but I can’t bring myself to march out of here and never look back. I’m a girl who always does the right thing, but God help me, I just can’t this time.

Chapter 21 | Cole

I raise my fork to dig into my second helping of the Alaskan grayling I caught but stop mid-air when I see Abbie’s face. She always looks fair, but right now, her skin is bleached pale and she’s pushed her food away from her.

“You alright?” I hope she’s not getting sick. Abbie doesn’t exactly strike me as a great outdoorsy kind of girl. I don’t know if roughing it like this is taking a toll on her health. Truth be told, I also don’t need any more delays in getting her out of here. I feel terrible for even thinking it, I mean, it’s not like I want her to leave. But the longer she camps out here the more chance her old boss will come looking for her. Or worse. The police will.

“What?” Her glossy eyes flicker back into focus and she looks over at me like she just remembered I’m here. “Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” she presses her lips into a thin slit.

Not the most convincing face, but I know it’s best to let things go. There have been many times that my mind has drifted back to my sister and my thoughts have dragged me unwillingly into another world. Sometimes it’s good to let things drop.

Abbie places her plate on the table and looks around like she’s searching the room for hidden treasure. I scoop some more fish into my mouth and watch as she rubs her hands up and down her thighs, it’s like I can see the wheels turning in her head.

“So, what do you do around here every day? I mean, don’t you get bored just sitting out here alone?” She sits up straight and tosses her hair over her shoulder, twisting her hands over it like she’s trying to pull it up into a ponytail only to let it drop back down around her face again.

“You’d be surprised actually, survival is pretty much a full-time job. I don’t think I’ve spent a single day out here bored, to be honest,” I admit, finishing the last bite of my meal.

I lean back and look around my place. I admit that it’s not much to look at, but I’m proud of what I’ve put together. She obviously has no concept of how much work it took to build this place or how much I do just to stay alive.

“Most days, just keeping wood chopped for fires, fishing, cooking, cleaning, working on the cabin and keeping myself clean takes up the entire day. Let me tell ya, keeping me clean is probably the biggest one. I’m always getting covered in dirt or tree sap or something. It’s amazing I haven’t turned into that dirty kid from the Charlie Brown comics, remember him? Pigpen I think his name was. He always had a dust cloud surrounding him,” I smile.

Abbie laughs and I can see her relax a little. Whatever was just eating at her seems to have passed. I love making her smile, making her laugh. It’s almost as amazing as making her cum.

Making her cum is the clear front-runner, but then in a distant second is making her laugh.

“So, what’s on the agenda today? You’ve already gone fishing. Is it wood chopping day? Do you have a schedule like that?” She leans in toward me, and rests her elbows on her knees, cradling her face in her hands. The way the sun is falling on her looks like a spotlight in a play. Like she’s the star of the show.

“Today is Wednesday,” I answer her matter-of-factly.

“Okay…” she raises an eyebrow in a silent question.

“Wednesday is my day off. Ever since I finished this place, when the weather cooperates I try to give myself a day of rest every week.”

“Oh, okay then. What do you do? Just chill here?” I can see the boredom creeping in across her face. She’s trying to hide her disappointment, but the fine lines that erupt in a spider web across the bridge of her nose and the way her pink lips are tugging down in the corners is making it impossible.

“No, I’ll show you after we eat. Usually I have some drinks and either write or draw for a while.” I stand up and pick up her plate, placing it on top of mine. “Are you done with this?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” she casts her eyes downward.

“I guess you’re not a fan of my cooking?” I tease her.

“No, it’s not that. I’m just not used to eating fish for breakfast I guess.” She scuffs her boot across the floorboards and avoids my eyes.

“Suit yourself,” I shrug and pop the last of her fish into my mouth. I’m not about to waste a perfectly good catch.

“So, are you an artist then?” Abbie looks up at me.

“I wouldn’t say that, but I find it relaxing,” I admit. “I used to try to whittle on my days off, but it turns out that wasn’t a great combination with the booze,” I snort and tug my shirt sleeve up, revealing a scar I gave myself in a drunken attempt to carve wood.

“Ouch! Yeah, that just sounds like a terrible idea,” she shakes her head.

“Yeah, well, I never claimed to be a genius,” I laugh and tug my shirt back down. “Anyway, just let me get this stuff taken care of and we’ll get going,” I nod to the dirty dishes.

“I can do them,” her voice is chipper, like she’s volunteering to taste test a new kind of candy bar, not wash dirty plates.

“Great,” I agree. “You get the dishes and I’ll get everything we need for the day together, sound good?”

“Mmhmm,” she stands up and then gives me a quick, wide-eyed look before wincing and lifting her foot.

“You okay?” I close the distance between us and grab her arm for support.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” she won’t meet my eyes. I hope she’s not trying to hide how much pain she’s dealing with.

I try to assess what she’s holding back, but decide to let it go. It’s Wednesday and my grassy knoll and lazy day are calling to me.

Chapter 22 | Abbie

“We’re here,” Cole smiles broadly at the foot of the hill his cabin is built into.

“What? I don’t get it,” I look around.

“You’ll see,” he smirks and grabs my hand, tugging me up the hill with him. We scramble to the top of the fifteen foot climb and my jaw drops open.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Cole looks pretty proud of himself. His blue eyes sparkling as he spreads a blanket out over the flattened top sheltering his cabin.

I soak in the incredible view feeling like I just climbed Everest and am looking down from the top of the world.

“It’s amazing,” I whisper. “What’s that for?” I point to a small, ankle high barrier made from wood and strung across the edge overlapping his house, like a tiny fence for gnomes.

“Ahhh, well since I have drinks up here, I made this. It’s kinda like when you were a kid and had a rail across the top bunk bed, you know? I didn’t want to fall asleep up here and wake up with a broken leg when I rolled off the side. It’s quite a drop to the front door.”

“And an even further one down there,” I nod at the cliff only twenty feet from his cabin entrance.

“Yeah, if I ever get drunk enough that I fall off that, I won’t need to worry about my liver. I’ll be dead,” he laughs.

This grassy clearing on his roof is so tranquil. It’s easy to see why Cole likes to spend his downtime here.

I watch him as he pulls a long swig of amber alcohol into his mouth, making it disappear from the bottle into his belly while I sit on the blanket beside him. I’ve never been much of a drinker, most of my Friday nights on campus were spent in the library studying, not doing shots. My scholarship meant too much to me to squander it being a party girl.

At least that’s what I told myself.

The truth is, I wouldn’t know how to handle myself at a party. I’ve always been so nervous around guys, and a girl with an anxious snort and pit stains is not what I think most dudes are into. I think I mostly saved myself from sitting in corners with houseplants and watching from the sidelines. If college kids have houseplants. Probably not. The point is, I spent too much of my life observing everyone else live their lives. I’ve always wistfully watched them cut loose and have fun, while I enviously wished I had the guts to do the same.

Enough is enough.

“Can I have some of that?” I nod toward his bottle of whiskey nestled beside his leg. Cole looks down like he’s not sure if there’s something else I could be talking about instead of the booze. He looks from side to side before pointing down at the alcohol and twisting his face up.

“This?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” I try to act nonchalant, like I drink all the time and it’s no big thing.

“You didn’t strike me as someone who’d enjoy straight whiskey, but sure, knock yourself out,” he holds it out to me skeptically.

I unscrew the cap and peer over at the look of amusement pasted to Cole’s face. Something about his smirk makes me dig my heels in and I take a huge mouthful of burning fire, struggling to swallow it without coughing. I try to keep my face straight as the flames burn a path down my throat. I can feel the heat reach my stomach and spread out.

Cole laughs at me and the fire in my belly is nothing compared to the angry heat spreading across my cheeks.

“What’s so funny?” I sulk.

“Nothing, you just didn’t look like you really enjoyed that,” he looks like he’s biting the inside of his cheeks, but I can still see his smile.

I squint my eyes at him and pull the bottle back up to my lips, tossing another swig. This time the edge is toned down and when it hits my belly, my head feels fuzzy, like I took too much NyQuil.

“All right there tiger, save some for the rest of us,” Cole grasps the bottle from my hand, screwing the lid back on and stashes it next to him.

“I told you I was fine,” I giggle unconvincingly.

“Yep, you’re a regular booze hound. Probably drink me right under the table if we had one up here,” he shakes his head and pulls out his notebook.

“Can I see your drawings?” I try to look inside the cracked cover of his journal. Normally I wouldn’t be so bold, but the booze is making me loosen up a bit.

“Sure, go to town,” he tosses it over in my lap and I open the first few pages until I see a drawing.

It’s the waterfall he brought me to, even though it’s only in pencil, I can almost see the sparkling drops splashing off the water. “That’s beautiful,” I trace my fingers over the page. Cole doesn’t answer, he just watches me as I flip the page and look at an intricate drawing of a log house. It looks so cozy and inviting, I feel like I can see myself walking in by the large, wooden front door and making myself at home. “Where is this?” I pull my eyes away from his work and meet his.

“It doesn’t exist. When I first came out here, that was my dream,” he nods at the page. “Maybe I’ll make it a reality now that I have to move further in.” He opens the bottle and takes another small sip before handing it to me. This time, I don’t feel like I have anything to prove, I’m not so tightly wound up and I just take a small swig too.

“It looks amazing,” I hand him back his book and the bottle. “So, what’s the deal? Were you some kind of artist before all this happened? You obviously have talent,” my tongue feels a bit thick, but it doesn’t stop me from prying. I want to know everything about Cole. I want to ask him his entire life story. I want to learn his favorite foods, where he’s lived, what his family is like. However, I know I’ll never have time to learn it all. Not before he dumps me back in Whitehorse and disappears into the Yukon wild. I might not have all the time I want with him, but I’m going to make the most of what time I do have.

“No, definitely not an artist,” he shakes his head emphatically and leans back against one of the two trees this hill is nestled between.

“So then, what did you do? You know, out there,” I wave my hand vaguely.

“Guess,” his lips twist up into another smirk, a playful one this time, not at my expense.

I lean back on my hands and shamelessly soak him in from his shaggy hair to his legs. Well, I almost make it as far as his legs, but something between them distracts me. “You don’t look like a salesman,” I think out loud.

“You got that right,” his eyes twinkle and my heart beats a little faster.

“A carpenter?” After living in the cabin he built with his own hands, it seems most likely.

“Nope,” he’s enjoying this.

“Umm, I’m gonna say you were a man in uniform.” From the way his eyes grow wider, I know I’ve hit the nail on the head. “A paramedic!” I say too excitedly.

“What? Paramedic? Why?” His dark eyebrows furrow together.

“I don’t know, I guess because of how well you took care of my ankle. I could see you helping people that way for a living,” I reason.

“No, you were right about the uniform, but not a paramedic. I was in the US military. A sniper,” his voice is flat.

“Really?” My heart begins to flutter in my chest. “So, you did the exact opposite of saving lives then, huh? You killed people?” I whisper my question like we’re in the middle of a bustling, city coffee shop and I’m worried about what the people at the next table might overhear.

Cole shrugs and opens the bottle again, taking another drink. “It’s all perspective,” he answers, holding it out for me.

I take it from his hands and don’t hesitate this time in taking another drink. The burning sensation is completely gone now, but the warmth in my belly seems to be spreading through my limbs. “How so?”

“Well, I had to take out guys who were directly responsible for the deaths of many Americans. Sometimes they were behind terrorist attacks that killed hundreds of people at a time. So, I took them out, and yes, ended their lives, but how many got to live as a result?”

I pass the bottle back to him and mull over his words. He’s not wrong, of course, I guess I just wasn’t thinking of the bigger picture.

“Sometimes the only option is to kill,” he says softly and gulps another mouthful of the amber liquid.

“Hey, so if you were a sniper, why didn’t you kill Trent that way?” the question slides off the end of my tongue before I really have a chance to think it through.

I shouldn’t have asked.

As storm clouds brew in Cole’s eyes, I wish I had never mentioned him at all. I literally bite my tongue until it hurts.

“For one,” his voice is so cold that my forearms break out in gooseflesh, “it would be beyond irresponsible for me to kill him that way in a city. You never know what could go wrong or who could get hurt.” Cole’s scruffy jaw juts out angrily. “And for two, I wanted to see the fucker’s face when I ended his pathetic life,” he clamps his mouth shut and frowns down at his hands.

Chapter 23 | Cole

The forest that is normally alive with chirping and chattering of wildlife falls silent. I swear I can hear Abbie’s eyelids blinking at me in surprise at my dark confession.

It’s true. I was happy to watch him die. I wanted him to see the face of the man who made him suck the last lungful of oxygen into his body before I blew his brains out. I wouldn’t say that it gave me closure on April’s death, but it was as close as I could get.

The darkness swirls inside me, it’s a tornado that I know too well. I’m familiar with its powerful pull into depression. I’ve seen those depths of despair and I’m in no hurry to explore them again.

I force myself to breathe, closing my eyes, I push away the rage, the mourning and the confusion. I know it won’t be that long before they overwhelm me again, knocking me on my ass, but not today.

Not right now.

“Sorry.” I open my eyes and try to keep my tone soft. “It’s just all still bubbling right under the surface, you know? I didn’t mean to scare you,” Abbie’s face returns to normal instead of looking like one of those Disney princesses whose eyes take up half their face. She twists her hair into a long coil, looking up at me.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” she frowns for a second.

“Nope, don’t worry about it, okay? So, you were asking me about drawing, well, I always had an interest,” I try desperately to change the subject and lighten the mood back up. “But once I came out here I had a lot of time to pursue it. It’s given me time to try different techniques like cross hatching and shading, but I’m never going to be some kind of Rembrandt. Still, I’m getting better and it’s a great way to relax, so it’s nice,” I know I’m over-explaining, I just want the tension on Abbie’s face to disappear. I want the light afternoon of chilling together not to be spoiled by my anger.

Abbie bites her fleshy lip and peers up at me. I can see another question forming on the tip of her tongue. Hopefully this time I can keep my emotions under control.

“Could you… draw me?” She blushes furiously and looks down at the ground.

“Draw you? Like now?” It’s not the question I was expecting. I smile at her shy request. “I could never capture how beautiful you are,” I answer truthfully. “I could study art for years and never do you justice.”

“Please?” Her voice is small but powerful. She’s not taking no for an answer.

I look at how she’s poised in the sun, the way her beautiful eyes are both seductive and sweet at the same time. “I’ll try,” I agree, lifting the bottle back up and taking another drink before thrusting it out at her.

She looks way too happy with my answer. I think she’s going to be disappointed when she comes out looking less like the Mona Lisa and more like Lisa Simpson. Still, it would be nice to have a drawing of her after she goes.

Not that I will ever forget her.

Chapter 24 | Abbie

I’m lying back on the warm grass and watching the clouds overhead turn into giant Macy’s Parade floating cartoons. I swear that I’ve already watched Mickey Mouse and my favorite princess of all time, Belle, go floating by in the warm sun. Cole told me I didn’t need to sit like a statue after I held my unnatural pose for the first five minutes and started to cramp up in my back. He laughed at me, telling me to just relax, so I decided lying down was probably the best thing to do.

I explore the hilltop with my gaze, soaking in the tiny wild flowers beginning to blossom in the ankle high grass. Growing up in the city, I never had a lot of time in nature as a child. However, I always treasured when my mother took me camping. It was only for one week a year, but those seven days made me feel like an ancient explorer discovering a new world. I remember spending hot, lazy days in a cabin by the lake and chasing frogs to proudly show my mother. One time, we spent the entire afternoon making beautiful necklaces from flowers. It was always so wonderful to have her entirely to myself. As a single mom, she had to be the breadwinner. Sometimes she was stretched pretty thin, so I loved those days when I had her all to myself and the only worry we had in the day was what we would eat for dinner.

My eyes drift back into focus from a time gone by and zero in on a dandelion about five feet away. While the other yellow weeds are just starting to open their golden heads, this one is already white and wispy, ready to spread its aged seeds of wisdom to bring the next generation into existence.

“Hey, is it okay if I get up?” I don’t want to interrupt Cole’s process, but I can’t contain my excitement over my find.

“I’m pretty much done here, so knock your socks off,” he looks up from the paper he’s been unblinkingly working on with a wink. Heat floods through me, spreading from my cheeks down my chest and billowing out between my thighs. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I’ve met many men in my life, but not a single one who could so innocently wink at me and reduce me to a quivering pile of intense desire.

I try not to let myself stare at him like a puppy dog, instead refocusing on the dandelion across the way. I clumsily manage to get my feet under me and the world swirls around me in a mosaic of green hues while my eyes try to track properly, but have a hard time keeping things straight. It hasn’t helped that I’ve probably drank more booze this afternoon than I’ve ever consumed in my life.

I pluck my walking stick from the ground, genuinely in need of the stability it can provide. Not because of my ankle, but my alcohol induced double vision. I don’t want to look like a lush, so I manage to force my feet forward and stumble over to the weeds.

Lucky for me, Cole isn’t expecting me to be able to walk a straight line with the injury I’ve been playing up. I reach the fluffy white-haired flower and sink down to the ground, picking it from the ground where the stem meets the dirt.

Holding it reverently in my hands, I smile at the little spikes of seeds attached to the pale, dimpled head. My mind flashes back to simpler days, when Mama and I spent long days at the camp letting our skin get kissed with bronze from the summer sun.

“Make a wish, Abbie,” I can still hear her voice, like she’s sitting beside me now. I want to reach out and grab her hand. I want to feel her arms around me, but I know she’s gone. I know the voice I hear is only in my memory.

Still, I close my eyes and let my heart explore my deepest desire. What do I want more than anything in the world? It doesn’t take much soul searching to come up with the answer. I want to feel this way forever. I want every day to be filled with the magic of adventure.

I want him.

I blow on the seeds and watch as they float over the field, some dropping on the grass quickly, while others lift up to the sky, carrying with them my deepest wish.

“I’m finished,” Cole calls out, and I open my eyes and look back over my shoulder at him.

With the help of my jingling walking stick, I manage to find myself moving back toward him.

“Well, what do you think?” he tilts the journal so I have full view of the page. My mouth opens, but no noise comes out. I can’t believe how beautiful he’s drawn me. Is that how he sees me? I look up at him in awe.

“You hate it, don’t you? I told you that I couldn’t do you justice,” he lets the book fall from his hands next to him.

“No! That’s not it at all,” I protest weakly, but I can’t stop looking at his lips.

“Don’t worry, you won’t hurt my feelings,” his voice is dry. I can hear his words and the exact opposite meaning underneath them.

“I love it,” I interrupt him. “I think,” the words are a cyclone in my head, “I’m pretty sure that I love… you,” my breath is hot as I exhale, burning my lips. Before I have time to overthink it, before I have time to second guess it, I lean into him and put my burning lips on his. Softly kissing him.

Chapter 25 | Cole

Our tongues explore each other feverishly. I can taste her longing as I thread my fingers through her hair and pull her into me tight. Abbie climbs on top of me, straddling me between her legs and grinds her pussy against me.

My mind shuts off and my body runs on pure instinct as my cock grows rigid and my hands slide up her shirt to cup her breasts.

Abbie breaks our kiss and looks into my eyes as she slowly peels her shirt off and tosses it to the ground beside us. She leans into me, pressing her tits into my face. “I need you, Cole,” her voice is raspy and desperate. Like a junkie crying out for their next fix. I feel her heat between her legs tempting me. Her rosy nipples begging to be sucked and teased by my mouth.

Somehow, through the fog of lust contorting my thoughts, I realize this is wrong. Every primal urge I have, every instinct inside me is trying to overrule the judgement, trying to let me forget my morals and succumb to her untouched temptation, but deep inside, I know this isn’t the way.

I slowly slide my hands down her shoulders and over her smooth arms until I grasp her hands in mine. “I can’t. Not like this,” the words hurt me as much as they seem to hurt her. Abbie’s face twists up and for a moment, I think she might cry.

“No, listen to me, I know what I’m doing. I want you, Cole. Please, let me do this,” she breaks her hands free from mine and runs them through my hair as she presses her tits against my mouth. I breathe out over her already taut nipple and it becomes a hard nub against my lip. I press my hips up against her and she rewards me by thrusting herself down on me.

Lifting her up, I brace her with my arms as I roll her down onto the ground and pin her beneath me. Abbie’s eyes grow wide as I press myself hard against her virgin pussy. An unruly wave of passion crashes over me, disarming my better senses and I hold her body in place with my grinding cock, but keep her head on the ground as I cover her mouth in a hard kiss.

Circling my hand around both her wrists, I wrench her hands up over her head and look down at her wide green eyes. Behind the desperation for my touch, I can see her nervousness.

This isn’t okay.

“We’re not doing this, Abbie. You’re drunk, you don’t know what you want,” I look her in the eyes, but she turns her head from me.

“I do know what I want, Cole. I want you. Why won’t you let me do this?” She feebly tries to meet my mouth in another kiss but I pull away and her lips push out in a pout. Goddamn she’s not making this easy. I want to pull her pushed out bottom lip in over my teeth and give it a little nip. I want to rip her pants off and put her over my knee for testing me like this right before I slam my cock inside her until her tight little pussy takes every last drop of my cum.

“Do you think it’s easy for me to say no to you? I’m dying here, Abbie, but it’s not right to fuck you, not when you’re drunk.” She turns away from me and her cheeks burn crimson. I hook my finger under her chin and tilt her face back to mine, “Listen, you’ve never done this before, so there must be a reason you’ve been waiting. I don’t think that after a long day of drinking out in the sun it’s the best time to decide whether or not you’ve changed your mind on that, alright? Let me take you back inside, have some food, drink some water, get some sleep and if you still want this… if you still want me,” my voice rumbles and my cock throbs at the thought, “if you haven’t changed your mind tomorrow then, trust me sweetheart, I’d be happy to make you mine.” The thought makes me growl my words with deep, guttural need. Before she can protest anymore, I stand up and hold my hand out for her to grab.

Abbie reaches up, but she won’t meet my gaze anymore. Her face is flushed and she quickly scurries over to where she tossed her shirt and slips it back on. Turning her back to me, she wipes her hands over her face. Damn it. I made her cry. That’s the last thing I wanted to do. Can’t she see that I’m trying to do the right thing?

I step toward her and start to wrap my arms around her, but Abbie stands up tall and shrugs me off. “Don’t do that,” her voice is like an Arctic blast of air on this hot day. “Let’s just go back in, I already feel stupid enough,” she hangs her head and sniffles.

I want to tell her I’m sorry, but I think I’m doing the right thing here. I don’t mean to hurt her feelings, but it’s obviously too late for that. Instead, I pick up her bear stick and hand it to her. Collecting the almost empty booze bottle and my journal with my drawing of a much happier Abbie inside, I lead the way back to the cabin.

The walk back is silent. It makes a short hike down the hill feel painfully long, but I can’t think of anything I can say right now that’s going to heal her bruised ego.

As we reach the door I breathe a sigh of relief. At least I can make her some dinner and hopefully forget about the whole thing. I open it for her and can feel her eyes on me, but I don’t trust myself to face her.

Abbie sighs and marches past me, “I’m not hungry,” she announces and slumps down on the bed.

It’s probably best that she sleeps this off, but I still feel like a cyclone of conflicting emotions is swirling around inside. In my heart, I know I made the right call, but I’ll be damned if my body isn’t fighting me on it. Between Abbie’s hurt feelings and my own intense needs, I can’t help but feel like I’m the real loser of the night.

Nice guys finish last, right? Or in my case, they don’t fucking finish at all.

Chapter 26 | Abbie

I wake with a jolt and my eyelids fling open. My vision adjusts to the darkness and the familiarity of Cole’s cabin as it slides into focus.

How did I get here?

I try to conjure the memory, lying perfectly still, as if any motion would be enough to scare it away.

Through the haze of my mind, I see the drawing. It was surprisingly beautiful, I never imagined anyone seeing me that way.

The kiss suddenly flashes behind my eyes like a nuclear blast, making my body hum with heat and excitement, filling me with an overwhelming urgency I’ve never experienced before.

I slide out of the bed and look over at Cole. Even when he’s sleeping peacefully he looks rugged and strong. I have to force myself to stop staring at the way his brown hair falls across his forehead and how his chiseled jaw looks against the pillow. With the blankets pulled up over his shoulder, I can’t make out any more of his beautiful body, but my pussy clenches just the same. My body knows every defined muscle on his burly frame and wants to feel every single one strain against me as he makes me a woman.

Making my way outside, I grab a jug of water and pour myself a glass. The cool liquid pours down my throat as I try to make the parched, raw sensation go away.

Wait, is this a hangover? I always thought that you felt sick and got a headache. I feel fine, except for my unquenchable thirst. Gulping down another glass, I try to piece together fragments of yesterday.

I cringe as the jagged puzzle pieces slowly form into a full and mortifying picture. Cole’s stinging rejection becomes sickeningly clear in my mind. He turned me down. Emphatically at that. Embarrassment burns in my cheeks as I recall how I threw myself at him. And how he refused me.

I want to push it all away. Erase it from my mind. I wish I had gotten more drunk, or that I would’ve woken up with amnesia. Anything to take away this humiliation.

I sneak back inside and climb into bed, closing my eyes, trying to will myself to forget. However, the details keep coming back to me. It’s like that game Whack-a-mole, as each painful moment of Cole’s rejection pops its ugly head up in my brain, I try to beat it back down.

I look over at him. His large hand is stuffed under his chin. I remember how that hand easily circled my wrists, holding my arms down as he lay on top of me. A new feeling sweeps away my self-pity… desire.

I bite my lip and heat blooms from my belly, spilling over between my legs as my pussy grows slick. My hand begins to creep down over my stomach, desperate to ease the ache building inside me. As I reach the waistband of my pants, I look over at Cole and stop.

Why am I doing this? I’m lying in bed next to the man I want and I’m going to masturbate thinking of him? No. This is stupid. I’m done letting my shyness take everything I want from me. I’m done being the good girl who gets nothing but heartache for her trouble. I’m done with never getting what I want.

But, he turned you down. He doesn’t want you.

The thoughts bring me back to reality with a stinging slap. It’s true, I lie back, defeated. He did stop me. But, maybe that just means I’ll have to make it impossible for him to resist. A smile pricks at the corners of my lips as a naughty plan forms. Before I have a chance to talk myself out of it, I strip down completely bare and pull the blankets on top of me.

“Cole,” I practically sing his name. He doesn’t move though. He’s still deeply sleeping. I guess I’m going to have to make sure I wake him up. My heart beats like I just ran wind sprints as I roll over and face him, letting the palm of my hand ease against his chest.

I swallow hard and will myself to continue. Lying here with your hand on his chest isn’t how you get him interested, I chide myself. Stop letting your inhibitions own your experiences. Live a little!

I slide my fingers down over his toned body, hesitating as I reach the edge of his pants. Taking a deep breath, I keep going until my hand is firmly holding his morning wood. My eyes grow wide as I restrain myself from diving my hand in under his pants to explore his dick more thoroughly.

“Cole,” I grab him despite the fabric barrier between us and jerkily move my hand over his bulge.

Cole’s eyelids spring open and he grinds his hips forward, pressing into my hand. I can see the feral hunger in his eyes dominating him, and it sends a long, deep shiver through me. No man has ever looked at me like that before. It’s so primal, my pussy grows even wetter and I bite my lip.

“What are you doing?” His voice is gravelly and rough. For a moment, I almost drop my hand and retreat on my little tough girl act. Instead, I double down, pressing my hand against his thick cock.

I curl my fingers around the ridge and look into his eyes, “What does it feel like I’m doing?”

Before he can answer, I toss back the blankets and reveal my naked body to him. I watch something flash in his eyes as I lie on my back and slide my hands up over my tits, giving my nipple a little tug between my fingers and thumb. I keep inching my other hand down over my skin until I reach my soaking pussy. Tracing a line over my lips, I press my fingers between them as I arch my back and open my pussy for him to see how turned on I am. “If you aren’t going to touch me, I thought you should at least have to see what you’re doing to me,” I answer him huskily.

Chapter 27 | Abbie

Cole’s eyes are locked on the untouched space between my legs as if he’s hypnotized. For a moment, I worry that I broke something inside him. He doesn’t move. He barely even breathes. He just stares.

I dip my finger into my pussy and graze over my sensitive nub, letting out an involuntary moan as I imagine him touching me.

“Do you know what you’re doing to me?” Cole growls. “You’re being a very bad girl right now, aren’t you?”

I glance at him with a smirk and roll my nipple before opening my legs as wide as I possibly can so he can’t miss a single thing I’m doing. “Yeah,” I breathe the word. “Well, maybe I’m tired of being a good girl, Cole. I’m tired of living life in a bubble. If it’s naughty to want you to fuck me, then I’ll be your bad little girl.” I grind up against my hand as I tease my clit.

Cole suddenly springs up in bed, startling me. Before I have a chance to say a word, he grabs me and moves over the edge of the bed. His fingers dig into my wrists and he drags me over his lap, “You want to be naughty, sweetheart?” He doesn’t hold back as he delivers a stinging slap to my bare ass. “Do you think it’s been easy for me to keep my hands off you?” He sharply brings down his hard palm against my tender butt and I cry out and squirm to move away from the pain. “Do you think this is all just a game, Abbie? That you can just toy with me?” He spanks me again and again until tears form in the corners of my eyes.

“No!” I sob. “I’m not trying to toy with you, I want you Cole. I want you to take my virginity. I want you to make me yours,” I wait for his hand to clap down against my flesh again, but it doesn’t. Instead, Cole soothes my skin by rubbing his hand flat over my red ass. I lie over his knee, and moan as I open my legs a little. His thick fingers trail over the curve of my ass and slide over my pussy, teasing me as he just barely grazes the surface.

The pain dissipates and the blooming heat of bliss begins to radiate through me as Cole drags his finger across my entrance. “You’re so wet,” he murmurs approvingly.

I push down the shyness that tries to overcome my senses. The part of me that would normally cringe away from having my body, having my secret desires, analyzed like this. I know all too well where that path leads, the safe one, the risk free one, where I clam up and Cole backs off. The one where I live with the regret of not going through with this for the rest of my life.

No.

Not today.

“I’m wet for you, Cole,” I whisper and squirm against his hard cock pressing in against my belly.

Cole gives my ass another unexpected slap and I yelp with surprise. “Get down on your knees, Abbie. I’m gonna put my cock in that sweet little mouth of yours and give you a taste of what I’m going to fuck your tight little pussy with,” he guides me down to the ground in front of him. I sit on my haunches with my hands on my knees watching obediently as he undoes his pants. I can’t hide the shock on my face as his dick is released and swings under its own weight, almost slapping my face.

I know I’m staring, but I’ve never seen a hard cock in real life before. I can’t stop studying it, the way the veins protrude from the shaft, like a roadmap leading to pleasure. I let my eyes travel over it hungrily, slowly trailing upward like a mountain climber reaching the summit of Everest. The large head of his dick has a single bead of clear liquid on top, I lean over him and swipe it off with my tongue as Cole groans.

“Open your mouth, Abbie,” he demands, grabbing my hair and pulling my face toward his lap.

I don’t need to be asked again, I want to feel his member on my tongue. I press my lips over him, breathing hot air over his cock and flatten my tongue so he can slide inside my mouth. I’m not really sure how to give a blowjob properly, so I’m happy when Cole shows me what he wants by guiding my head up and down his thick shaft with one of his hands on each side of my head.

As he pulls my face deeper into his lap, I can hear him making deep, guttural noises of approval that keep me going. I love that I can make him feel this way. It’s an incredible sense of power to know that I can reduce him to an incoherent string of noises by only using my mouth.

Cole pulls my hair back and my lips slide off of him with a pop. I look up at him as his eyes flash at me.

“Get up here,” he extends his hand and helps lift me to my feet, pulling me to the bed. “On your hands and knees,” he demands.

I climb up onto the bed and face him on all fours and a smirk splashes onto his face. “Not like that,” he flips me around so my ass is in his face. “Perfect.” He slides his hand over the backs of my thighs with approval.

Self-consciousness begins to swirl inside me as I wait for Cole to do something. To say something. For something… anything to happen.

“Put your head on the bed, keep that ass up. Understand?” I feel his broad hand press down between my shoulder blades as I drop my head down and lay the side of my face flat against the blankets. Cole slowly slides his hand over my ass before I feel his soft tongue flicker between my lips. I moan into the comforter and open my legs a little wider as he delves between my lips and gives me a long, wet lick from my clit back to my center, then past it and up to my asshole. A jolt runs through me. I never expected him to kiss me there. I try to relax as he tongues my ass, twisting against my puckered hole. It feels intense, and just as I start to get used to it, he stops and buries his face in me from behind and begins licking and sucking my clit.

Cole slides back until he falls to his knees on the floor and digs his fingers into my hips, pulling me back until my pussy is resting on his mouth. He licks his finger and presses it against my asshole as he continues to flicker his tongue over my sensitive nub. He pushes against me slowly, until my ass accepts his finger and makes me feel really full. Cole slides another finger into my pussy and I can feel the vibration as he grunts against my clit. “You’re so fucking tight,” he growls as my pussy stretches to accommodate his finger.

If that’s what only one of his fingers feels like, what is his dick going to feel like? Nerves flutter over me at the idea, but Cole quickly licks me to distraction. He slowly fucks my ass and pussy with his fingers as he eats me out. The intensity of each sensation is overwhelming and it isn’t long before the heat pooled in my belly seems to splash outward, and an insane orgasm shudders through me like the crashing waves of the ocean, receding into the tiny ripples of a stone thrown into a pond.

Cole stands up behind me and I slump over onto the bed, rolling onto my side, I can see his still hard cock exposed from his open pants.

“Please Cole,” my voice is raspy as I beg him.

“Please what?” He looks amused as he slides his hand down over his cock and smirks down at me.

“Please, fuck me. I want to feel you inside me,” I swallow hard and look up at him. Even though he just gave me the strongest orgasm I’ve ever experienced, my body is crying out for more. I won’t be satisfied until he fills me with his huge cock.

Cole’s eyes darken and he frowns. “I don’t have any condoms,” his eyebrows furrow. “And I can’t imagine you’re on birth control, are you?”

I shake my head from side to side, “can’t you just not finish inside me?” I ask hopefully, I can’t give up this easy. Not after getting this close.

Cole raises an eyebrow playfully and nods. “If you’re sure this is what you want,” he searches my face carefully.

“It is,” despite the quiver I feel inside me, my voice stays calm and firm.

Cole doesn’t refuse me this time. He peels off his shirt, revealing his thick, muscular chest. Next, he tugs his pants down, exposing his cut, powerful thighs. Not that I spend much time looking at his legs. Not when he has a monster third leg swaying at attention to distract me.

Cole climbs onto the bed next to me and runs his hand over my hair, “Are you sure, Abbie? You’re going to be leaving soon and you’ll never see me again. I don’t want you walking away with regrets,” he levels me with his eyes.

“The only thing I would walk away from here with is the regret of not giving myself to you,” I answer him honestly. I don’t tell him about how the bigger regret would be to leave him behind. To walk out of his life is something I can’t begin to let myself imagine.

“Okay,” he answers and the mattress heaves under us as Cole moves between my legs.

Chapter 28 | Cole

I slide between her thighs. They’re so soft, just like the rest of her. Her skin is silky and smooth, it feels perfect against me. Grabbing my cock by the base, I slide it along her slit, rubbing it against her clit as she throws her head back and arches her breasts up.

I hover over her. Dropping my mouth to her nipple, I suck it into my mouth and thrash my tongue over it the same way I just did to her clit. Rubbing my cockhead between her lips, her nectar coats me, preparing me to take her virginity.

I ease down onto her body and hold my cock at her entrance as she squirms against me, trying desperately to press her pussy down onto me. She’s not in control though, I’m running this show.

“I’m going to fuck your tight pussy, Abbie,” my voice is thick. “I’m going to take what’s mine, do you understand?” She nods at me, not saying a word and I push the head of my cock in just past her lips. I watch her eyes grow wide as I just barely enter her. My God she’s tight, I can already feel her squeezing down against me and I’m barely touching her.

“Are you okay?” I look down at her.

“Mmhmm,” she responds and I thrust myself inside her with as much self-control as I can muster, but I know I’m taking it fast. Her pussy contracts around me, like a warm hug as I squeeze my eyes shut and find the strength to stop myself from bursting through her hymen ruthlessly. Somehow, I manage to pull back out, almost the entire way and slide inside again, a little easier this time, but I still stop before burying myself all the way in.

“Are you ready?” I nip her earlobe and look down at her beautiful face. “This is going to hurt you, but I’m going to try to be gentle, okay?”

“I’m ready,” she answers, but I can see the nervousness dancing over her features. I kiss her tenderly and press my cock into her with control. As my tongue pushes in past her lips and dances with hers, I thrust my cock inside her, pushing until her hymen gives way and I’m completely buried in her core.

Abbie cries out in my mouth and tears slide down her cheeks as her pussy clenches around me. I kiss away the fat tears and pull back a little only to fuck her deeper. “That was the worst part, it’s over now,” I soothe her.

Abbie opens her eyes and I can see a softness looking up at me. She wraps her arms around me, pulling me closer and I thrust into her rhythmically. She closes her eyes again, but this time she throws back her head and moans, giving me permission to fuck her faster and harder. I stop holding myself back, pumping into her little pussy, enjoying the warmth and the tension on my cock.

My orgasm isn’t far away. “I’m going to need to pull out soon,” I pant in her ear as I fuck her deep and hard.

“No, don’t stop!” she begs. “Please, I need to feel you cum inside me. Fill me with your cum,” she drags her fingernails into my back and hooks her feet together behind my ass, giving me the deepest access to her core.

I pump into her in long, deep strokes, her tight walls are squeezing my cock, making me crazy. I try to have self-control, but this time I can’t. I let it all go as I fuck her with abandon. My cum spurts from my cock, deep inside her as I thrust jaggedly against her. The pleasure rips through me as a swell of relief spills from me. My cock throbs as another spurt of my seed empties inside her, filling her with cum.

As the last tremors of my orgasm pass, I hold her tight, still inside her, and gasp for breath. Under me, Abbie is smiling. I can’t help but kiss her sweet face and run my fingers over her thick, perfect mouth.

“That was amazing,” she kisses my fingertips.

“You’re amazing,” I pull out of her and some of my seed and a tiny streak of blood spills out onto the blanket. A pang of guilt quickly washes over me as I realize I should’ve pulled out. However, it’s hard to feel too bad about it when she looks so overjoyed.

Abbie snuggles up against my chest and I run my hand over her long hair, feeling the lure of sleep tug at me. I wish I could have this moment forever. That I didn’t need to watch her go back to civilization while I disappear deeper into the woods. However, I know that I need to do what’s best for her, not me. Right now, I’m going to enjoy the fleeting time we have together. And now that I’ve made her mine, I’m going to be sure to enjoy every inch of her as many times as I can before I make her leave my life forever.

Chapter 29 | Cole

Th-wick!

I love the sound my steel axe makes as it slices through the branches of this fallen tree. It’s so satisfying to watch the wood spray off in either direction, like the hull of a boat cutting through the ocean, it always feels incredible to know we can control something as powerful as nature.

Th-wick, ting, ting!

I easily slice through the smaller, dried out branches. I don’t have the time left here to cut down an entire tree. Not only because of how much work it is to fell a tree and chop it all up by hand, but also because I don’t have enough time left at my cabin to wait for it to dry out. Some of these old tree branches are rotted out, but they make great kindling. I’m just looking to cut enough to cook on for another night or two, I realize with sadness.

“How’s your ankle?” I looked down her toned legs after we finally decided to get out of bed yesterday and feed our other needs besides our primal urge to fuck.

Abbie looked down and tilted her head, like someone who was trying to keep a secret that they really wanted to spill. “Honestly?” Her green eyes slowly traveled up to mine. “I think it’s healed,” she admitted.

I felt so many things at once, a flood of relief that I could stop hanging around this camp waiting to be hunted down, happiness that the anvil hanging over my head would soon be gone. However, more than any of that, disappointment.

Th-wick, tink, tink!

Branches go flying, far more than I really need, but I can’t stop swinging my axe. I can’t stop wanting to sink the blade into something and destroy it, leaving scars upon the fallen tree the same way Abbie walking out of my life will leave scars on my soul.

“That’s great,” I forced a smile that felt tight and suffocating on my face like someone melted plastic over my lips and formed it up in each corner. “I guess that means I can lead you out of here tomorrow, at least halfway.” I held my breath and waited for her to protest. Waited for her to plead the same case my heart has been pleading for her to stay. But she just nodded silently.

I swing the axe toward the trunk of the tree and let it bite into the wood, holding it steady so I can pick up the branches. Of course I don’t want to take her back. I don’t want the only woman I’ve ever loved to walk out of my life forever.

I stop dead in my tracks, like a deer who heard the snap of a hunter’s foot on a nearby branch, and stare motionless. The thought spins in my mind… love? I’ve never believed in anything like love at first sight before, or those quick romances where people get married after a couple weeks. Yet as I sift through the turmoil rolling around inside me, I know my heart doesn’t give a fuck if my mind has given it permission.

“I love her,” the realization wakes me up like a bucket of cold water stirring someone from a deep sleep. It’s as alarming as it is exhilarating. I feel like a swarm of bees is buzzing through my body right now and everything looks a little brighter. A little sharper. More focused. The same way I feel with Abbie in my life.

My heart thuds heavily in my chest as I pluck the branches from the ground and realize that this changes nothing. Abbie is still leaving today, the only difference now is I’ll understand exactly why it will break my heart to watch her go.

Chapter 30 | Cole

With my axe slung over one shoulder and an arm full of fire fuel held on the other, I make my way back home. It’s crazy how quickly I began thinking of this place as my home, but this little cabin has felt more meaningful than any apartment I shacked up in, between deployments and postings. There are luxuries that I’m looking forward to enjoying again when I build my permanent log house, things like a solar heated water collector for showers that won’t feel like shards of a glacier have sheared off onto your skin. What can I say, it’s the little things.

I think I’m going to look back on this place fondly, for the most part. It’s the place that gave me my freedom, it’s where I made peace with my demons, it’s where I fell in love with her.

I try to push the last thought away, I don’t need to keep reminding myself of how I feel about her. It’s not doing me any favors. It’s best to just push it down and take her back to Whitehorse without a lot of emotions making it all harder. Better to make it quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

If a Band-Aid was covering a stab wound to my heart.

I close the gap between me and my cabin and look around the area for Abbie. Dropping the pile of sticks near the door, I peer inside but see the room is empty. I twist on my heel and spin around, but she’s nowhere to be seen.

“Hello? Abbie?” I quickly make my way to the hill, racing to the top and looking for her around the area, but she’s gone. I trail my eyes over the horizon and the fall to the cliff below. Oh dear God, please, no!

Standing up tall, my gut twists up into a knot as I run back down and this time I inch over to the rocky edge. My heart pounding, I try to make myself look, but can’t.

“Abbie? Hello?”

Nothing. For a forest filled with living creatures, the silence is frightening. Somehow, I force myself to scan the bottom of the cliffs, but I don’t see her. Nothing but slate gray, jagged rocks and the occasional spindly tree defying all odds and growing out from the side of the mountain. I step back and try to think.

Did her boss come back? My heart begins to pick up pace as I search the ground for footprints, for some kind of sign of a struggle. But I only see Abbie’s hiking boot prints in the dirt.

Did she head back to town without me? Did she leave without saying goodbye? My heart sinks with the last thought. It’s too painful to think about, I want to push it away, but it spreads like a cancer through me, destroying the cells of my heart.

Twinkle, jingle, ching!

I snap my head up and look toward the woods where I heard the sound. That was the bells I attached to Abbie’s walking stick, I’m sure of it. Like a mirage of water appearing before a man dying of thirst, Abbie materializes from the thick brush nearby. A sigh of relief escapes my lungs as a smile I can’t control sweeps over my face.

“Abbie! Where were you?” I try not to sound like I’m accusing her, but I fail as I walk over to her and look at the bucket she’s holding in her hands.

“Look, I found some blackberries. I found a bunch of bushes over that way and picked a couple. They’re so good,” her eyes sparkle with delight, “I just had to pick some for us,” she gushes.

I can’t help but laugh. “What’s so funny?” She frowns a little as she searches my face.

“Nothing, it’s just like we’re living back in the caveman days or something,” I shake my head and laugh. “You’re out picking berries and I’m making sure we have fire, it’s just too perfect,” I smile down at her.

“I never thought of it that way,” she giggles. “I just know how much you love eating juicy, sweet peaches,” her eyes twinkle mischievously, “so I knew you’d love these too.” She plucks a berry from the pile and holds it out for me to taste. I open my mouth and she stands on her tiptoes and grinds her pussy against me as she drops the fruit on my tongue. Sweetness explodes in my mouth as my cock springs to life and I pull her against me tight.

“Give me that,” I grab the bucket of berries from her hand and settle them down on the ground. Before she can ask anything, I lift her up over my shoulder as she squeals and squirms. “I’m gonna drag you back to my cave and ride your sweet ass,” I growl and give her firm behind a sharp slap as I walk her toward the cabin.

Chapter 31 | Cole

I twist the handle and kick open the door, swiftly booting it shut with a shuddering thud. A few steps across the cabin and I toss Abbie down on the mattress as she giggles.

She rolls over onto her belly and looks up at me with a sultry smile, I can’t help but watch how she slowly grinds herself against the mattress, her body already begging for my cock.

“So, you get your cherry popped and now you can’t get enough, huh?” My fingers practically slice open my buttoned shirt and I let it fall from my hand to the ground, never taking my eyes off her. Still watching that perfect ass subtly sway as she subconsciously plays with herself.

“Now you can’t get enough of this cock, can you?” I growl grabbing my growing girth in my hand.

“I can’t,” she looks up at my bulge and licks her lips and I groan. I’m going to put those lips to good use in a minute.

Kicking off my boots, I fling them across the room haphazardly and peel my socks off. “On your knees sweetheart,” I command her, finally convincing my eyes to travel up from her beautiful ass and meet her gaze. That full lip she was licking is now under assault from her teeth as she bites down into her pillowy flesh. Abbie scoots up onto her knees, sitting back on her haunches at the edge of the bed.

I step toward her, staring down into her eyes as I unzip my pants and flick open the button. With a single shove, I push down the fabric over my ass and my cock springs up in front of her face. Abbie’s eyes grow wide as she looks at all nine inches with wonder.

“Suck it,” I demand, circling my thumb and forefinger around the base, I bring it to her lips and Abbie obediently opens her mouth, letting me slide over her wet, willing tongue. I press my hand into the back of her head and guide her down my dick, watching as my shaft disappears into her mouth. The more she’s able the take, the more turned on I get.

Abbie’s eyes water, but she doesn’t resist me. I hold her head firm and thrust my cock over the length of her tongue until I can feel her throat give way for me.

I pull back and slide back in quicker this time as Abbie’s cheeks hollow. She begins to suck on my cock like she’s desperate to taste my seed. Her eyes look up to mine, big and round, and the lower lids slightly lined with water, but she doesn’t protest.

I grab her head on either side and thrust my cock into her mouth in short, sharp strokes before popping out of the suction of her mouth as I pull back away.

“Get over here,” I dig my fingers into Abbie’s hips and flip her over on the bed. I kick my pants off, stepping out of them and as Abbie steadies herself on her hands and knees, I yank her pants down over her ass and pull her back on the bed toward me.

“I’m gonna fuck that tight little pussy now, that’s what you want isn’t it?”

“I do,” she’s too quiet. I give her ass a sharp slap and the snap of my hand fills the air.

“Tell me what you want, Abbie. Don’t whisper. I want to hear you when you beg for it,” I slide my fingers over her wet, exposed entrance and she moans, trying to press back against me.

“How does that feel?”

“It’s not enough,” she speaks louder this time and tries to grind back, but her efforts get her another stinging slap on the ass.

“What do you want me to do? Tell me what you’re hungry for,” I demand.

“Your cock,” she finally relents. “Please, I need to feel it again. I need you to fuck me, Cole. I need your cock like I need to breathe.”

“That’s right, good girl,” I rub my broad hand over her red ass, “and now that I’ve fucked you once, I’m not going to go so easy on you this time,” I yank her back until the heat of her entrance is tempting the head of my dick. “I’m going to fuck you like you’re mine, Abbie. Because you are mine. You’ll always be mine.”

“I’m yours,” she echoes my words. “Take me, Cole.”

I drive my cock deep into her core in one, long, relentless thrust and she yelps with surprise. Her pussy quivers around me, holding me tight inside her. I reach forward and grab a fistful of her long hair at the base of her neck and yank her head back as I bury myself to the hilt inside her.

“Say it again,” I growl, fucking her in deep, hard strokes as she quakes on her hands and knees in front of me.

“I’m yours. I never want another man, you’re my first and last, Cole,” her voice is tight, almost as tight as her sweet pussy is against my girth.

Almost.

With my hand wrapped in her locks, she’s completely under my control as I drive my dick into her deep and fast. This isn’t some slow, sensual deflowering. This isn’t making love. This is full, fast fucking. I don’t hold anything back as I fill her with my thick shaft as deep as possible, over and over.

Her panting and little high pitched squeals are just about driving me insane. She’s loving this just as much as I am. I guess we’re a perfect match. My orgasm is near, I can feel my body tense up as the wave builds inside. Somehow, I manage to pull out as my cock spurts white streaks of semen over her ass.

“Fuck!” I groan as I shoot ropes of my seed over her backside and watch as they drip down the backs of her thighs.

Abbie kneels and rubs my cum into her ass slowly. I can’t tear my eyes from her as she sensually circles it into her skin. She turns around and looks up at me with purpose and slowly licks her fingers off, one by one.

Fuck she’s sexy. I feel like I could climb on top of her and fuck her again and again. Instead I reach down and grab her thighs, tugging her legs hard, making her fall onto her back. I rip the pants I left half pulled down the rest of the way off, throwing them back over my shoulder before I hold her legs wide open and peer down between them.

“I’m not done with you yet,” I watch the surprise splash over her face as I meet the heat of her pussy with my tongue. Fuck she’s wet. Her juices coat my mouth. I savor every drop of her nectar as I delve my tongue between her lips and slowly drag it up to her clit.

“Oh God,” Abbie breathes the words and lets her head fall back to the bed as I twist and tease my tongue over her clit. I let go of one of her legs and plunge my fingers into her pussy, pressing them forward against her wall until I feel her g-spot. Abbie thrashes and writhes under me as I bear down on the spot, hooking my finger against it like I’m telling her to come to me. In a way, I am. Come to me. Cum for me. It’s all the same.

I lick her little taut nub and suck it gently in over my lips as I play with her g-spot.

“Oh! Oh god, I’m going to cum!” Abbie throws her hands over her face and the entire length of her body shudders as her orgasm overtakes her. Her pussy pulses around my finger and a gush of her cum spills onto my tongue as I lap her up. Abbie jerks her hips up toward me and then back down onto the bed, lying motionless as I slide my fingers back out of her and sit back.

I love watching the aftermath of my work, and Abbie lying back on my bed like a limp, loose rag doll. Her body humming with the afterglow of bliss is amazing.

Crawling up into the bed, I unbutton her shirt and let it fall open around her perky breasts before I pull her in against me tight.

“That, that was… I’ve never felt anything like that before,” she murmurs with her eyes closed, snuggling in against me.

“Shhh, get some rest,” I kiss her forehead and squeeze her, “you’re gonna need it.”

“Why?” Abbie’s eyelashes flutter open and I can see worry behind her eyes. “Do I have to leave now?”

“No, no, I’m not taking you anywhere today. But I am going to fuck you until neither of us can move.”

A smile slides over her lips as she closes her eyes and rests her head against me. “I’m yours,” she breathes the words.

“That’s right Abbie, you’re mine.” I answer her soothingly. As she drifts off into a worn-out sleep, my mind spins. Now the question is, how do I get her to stay mine forever?

Chapter 32 | Abbie

Sitting in the chair that Cole made himself, I lean back and bask in the early morning sun. I can’t remember the last time I was up before the dawn. It feels amazing to watch Mother Nature wake up as a parade of glittering golds and soft pinks streak across the sky.

Everything about this feels perfect. The way Cole kissed me tenderly before slipping out of bed this morning telling me he would be back later with some fish for breakfast. The way I can enjoy the calm beauty of birds and squirrels beginning to forage for their own food. Even this cup of instant coffee that once tasted so nasty on my tongue seems right now.

It’s like I spent so much of my time in university worrying about schedules and my scholarship that I forgot how good it feels to truly relax. My mother was right, I needed to get out and explore. I needed experiences that I could never find in a textbook. I needed this.

And now it’s going to end.

The thought shoots through me, burning my nerves and making my hands shake around my coffee cup. Cole and I spent the entire day and night fucking. The amount of times and ways that we were one left my body sore in the best way and my spirit awakened. I was sure, as we were drifting off to sleep last night that he would finally whisper the word I’ve been longing to hear for days.

Stay.

“Tomorrow we have to say goodbye, huh?” He asked and my heart shattered.

“If you think so,” I tried to leave it open, to put my foot in the door, leaving a crack of possibility for him to change his mind and invite me.

“I can’t keep waiting to be found. It’s only a matter of time until the authorities head out this way. I’m guessing your boss has gotten a hold of them and his own boss by now,” his deep voice was tinged with betrayal.

For a moment, I felt guilt swirl up inside me that I had ever been a part of that manhunt. My ignorance about who Cole really is didn’t feel like an excuse.

“I’m sorry I’ve caused all this trouble for you,” I tried not to let the lump growing in my throat affect my voice.

“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. Besides, none of that matters now. I guess the only thing to do is get you back to town and for me to find a new place to make my home.”

“Sure,” I didn’t want to say any more than that single word because I knew if I uttered even one syllable more, my voice would crack and my tears would pour out of me.

Instead, I rolled over, trying to seek comfort in Cole’s arm wrapped around me. Trying to memorize the way his skin felt on mine as he spooned me. Trying to make the moments until he marched me out of these woods last forever.

Mama was right about so many things. Living my life. Having new experiences. Opening my heart. What she didn’t tell me was the overwhelming pain of heartbreak that comes from losing it all.

I wipe my hands over my misty eyes and stand up. I need a distraction. Sitting here crying isn’t going to change a damned thing. Cole’s going to need a fire in the stove to cook the fish on, so I’ll go grab some wood and try to get one started for him.

Placing my mug on the counter by the door, I slip on my boots and walk outside into the early morning sunshine. The air smells sweeter this time of the day, with the dew glistening on the plants and bushes. Everything looks like it’s twinkling. I take a deep breath of fresh air into my lungs and try to clear my head. Turning the corner around the cabin, I start stacking a small armful of wood onto my arm.

Thud, thud.

I turn toward the heavy footsteps smiling, expecting to see Cole holding a line with his catch of the day dangling from it.

My eyes grow wide and I open my mouth to scream as I drop the wood to the ground, but no sound escapes my lips.

Cecil stares at me with wild eyes and a scowl etched onto his dirty face. His hair is standing on end and he has debris scattered throughout it. His clothes are ragged and filthy. He looks like he was dredged up from a swamp, his hollow eyes flash at me as I can see madness dancing inside them.

“Good morning Abbie,” his voice is stuffed up like he’s got a cold or suffering from allergies.

I glance from side to side for Cole. He’s not here. My eyes desperately scan around me for a weapon. I’m not an idiot, I know a deranged animal when I see one. When I look at Cecil he looks no different than a rabid bear. He’s probably twice as dangerous.

The only thing around me is the wood and I lift up a log unconvincingly like a short, fat bat.

“Stay back,” my voice wavers.

“Isn’t it crazy?” He steps toward me slowly and I inch back until my legs hit the pile of wood. “I’ve been out here for days looking for you Abbie. Fucking days!” I can see scrapes and what look like bee stings covering the backs of his hands. His grimy clothes are tattered and his gray hair is strewed. “I thought you might be dead. I worried about you. And all this time you were shacking up with a fucking killer.” He lunges forward and I yelp, twisting to the side, I run around the corner of the house, but my scalp sears with pain as Cecil jerks my head back by my hair. I swing the wood, but miss him and it clangs against the side of the cabin with a deadened thud and drops from my hand. Cecil grabs my shoulders and throws me against the wall so hard my teeth rattle and I see spots in the sky. Before I can scream, his hand circles around my throat and he’s pressing down hard. I gasp for air.

“Let me go,” I sputter and kick at him but he throws his entire body forward and pins me back against the wall. I’m trapped under him and the corners around my vision are starting to go black as I fight for my breath.

“I looked after you. I was going to make you rich. Make you famous. But it turns out you just wanted to chase some dick, huh? Isn’t that what you’re doing out here. Sucking his cock?” He glares at me with his icy blue eyes.

I try to argue. To scream. To plead. But all that comes out is a squeak as he crushes my windpipe. I’m feeling dizzy and my head is growing light.

Is this how I’m going to die?

I can’t even cry. I’m just stuck under him. Stuck smelling his rotten breath as he accuses me of being a slut.

“Cause if it’s cock you’re chasing, I’ve got some for you,” with his free hand he tugs the front of my pants down and I try to twist my legs shut. He presses harder on my throat and I can feel my consciousness slipping away. My limbs are hard to control, my lips are tingling and my head is woozy as I try to suck in some air.

“No,” I manage to breathe the word out. Not that he cares.

Cecil steps his foot between mine and kicks my legs open, I try to claw him, to slap him, to kick him, but I’m barely hanging on. The world has become a small tunnel containing only his disgusting, dirty face.

I can feel his gritty hand on my skin and I can’t even sob. My face feels like it’s filled with too much blood. Like when I was a kid and used to hang upside down on the monkey bars for too long. Tears spill over my cheeks and I realize there’s nothing I can do. He’s stronger than me. I’m overpowered. He’s going to rape me.

He might kill me.

And there isn’t anything I can do.

Chapter 33 | Abbie

I hear a fast crunching sound, but my mind can’t make any sense of it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Cole’s voice cuts through the fog, giving me hope as I sputter for breath.

I hear a fleshy thud and then my throat is free. I fall to the ground and wheeze in long, deep breaths, my lungs burning for oxygen. I cough and choke as I gasp at the air like a fish out of water. Slowly my vision returns and my mind clears. I realize that just because Cecil isn’t on me anymore that doesn’t mean this is over.

I reach down and pull up my pants, fighting my instinct to vomit at the thought of him groping me. I push away the vision I have of what he planned to do to me and struggle to get to my feet.

Using the wall, I pull myself back to my feet and look to the ground where Cole and Cecil are struggling for power. They roll around in the dirt and Cole slams his fist into Cecil’s face.

Blood explodes from his nose, pouring everywhere but it doesn’t stop Cecil from fighting like a rangy wolf. He twists and turns, managing to break free from Cole’s mount and before I can blink, he pulls a gun from a holster inside his jacket.

Cole doesn’t move, he stays perfectly still on his back and raises his hands up. “Listen, we can work this out. You can put that away,” his tone is firm yet somehow calm.

“Work it out? Like how you snuck up on me and knocked me out? You left me to die, you think I give a fuck if I kill you? I’ll probably get a medal.” Cecil waves his gun at Cole menacingly, “Not to mention a million bucks.”

“Cecil don’t!” I cry out and he twists toward the sound of my voice and points the gun straight at me. “I should kill both of you. Murderer and his slut,” he glares at me and I shiver.

Cole lunges up from the ground and knocks Cecil over, but the gun doesn’t fall from his hand. Cole holds down his arm and struggles to keep him from firing it as he punches him again. Cecil flings his head to the side like a rookie boxer who just got knocked out by a world champ. He goes limp and Cole stands up and looks over at me.

“Are you okay?”

“I am now,” I tremble and Cole walks toward me. I need to feel his thick arms wrapped around me. I need to...

BANG!

Cole drops to his knees and blood spreads over his shirt and down his arm as Cecil struggles to get to his feet.

“No!” I screech.

Blood is pouring from Cole onto the dirt. The only thing that moves on his burly frame is the spurting river of red gushing from his wound.

Cecil teeters on his feet like a newborn calf and I let out a deep scream of losing yet another person I loved as I bolt at him. I have no real plan as I plow into his gut like a linebacker, throwing him off balance and forcing him to stumble backward to the edge of the cliff. Cecil sways back and grabs onto me, twisting his hand in my shirt and dragging me forward as he tries to anchor himself to me. My body weight is no match for his and I slide forward. My feet reach the edge and rocks kick loose under his feet as he begins to fall over. My toes are over the side and I can see the fall that is about to kill me. I’m going to plunge to my death with him.

My arms are suddenly yanked back roughly and I’m pulled away from the cliff and topple on Cole as Cecil shrieks loudly and then stops when his body hits with a sickening thud below.

I turn over and roll off Cole. I know I almost died, but I can’t hide my elation. I’m so happy he’s alive!

“Oh my god! Cole, can you get up?” My eyes fall to the blood still spilling from his shoulder and I strip my shirt off, I couldn’t care less about my exposed body as I press the fabric to his wound to try to stop the bleeding.

Cole grabs my fingertips that are pressing against the shirt. “I love you Abbie,” his voice is hoarse and he tightly presses the shirt to his wound and sits up.

“I love you too,” I blink back tears, surprised at how much I needed to hear those words from him. “You saved my life,” I murmur, like I’m explaining what just happened to myself.

“We saved each other,” he answers. “You’re a lot tougher than you let on, Abbie. Not a lot of girls would do what you just did.”

“It’s like you said, sometimes the only option is to kill,” I echo back his words and try to throw his good arm over my shoulder and help him to the cabin.

“What are we going to do?” My mind reels at the reality of Cole’s wound and a dead man at the bottom of the mountain.

“We’ll figure it all out, together,” Cole answers through grit teeth and I guide him inside not knowing how we’ll fix any of this but confident that with Cole I can do anything.

Chapter 34 | Cole

I keep Abbie’s shirt pressed tight against my shoulder, trying to clot the bleeding. I slump down into a chair and grit my teeth as Abbie watches me with wide eyes and wrings her hands.

“What are we going to do? We have to get you to a hospital,” the reality of this situation seems to be taking root in her mind and tears I expected a while ago finally well up in her green eyes.

“No hospital. No doctor. I’ll go to jail. That’ll be the end. I need you to listen to me, got it? You’re going to help me through this. We can do this together, but you need to calm down and follow my instructions, okay?” I try to keep my own voice cool and collected, but struggle with every breath that brings searing pain to my shoulder.

“Yes,” she wipes away her tears. “You’re right, what do I do?”

“First thing you can do to help,” I start.

“Yes,” she watches me intently.

“Is go put on another shirt. I can’t think with your beautiful tits in my face,” I try to smile, but it comes out more as a grimace.

Abbie looks down at her exposed torso like she completely forgot she removed her clothes. “Oh, uh, of course,” she covers her breasts with her arms and rushes across the room, pulling a plaid, button up shirt from my clean clothes. I’ve gotta say, I prefer how it looks on her, clinging to her curves.

“Now, boil some water Abbie. And while you’re over there, take a look through my military duffel bag for my old sewing kit. I need you to grab the smallest needle in there and some thread, okay?”

Abbie nods dutifully and lights the stove, placing a small pot of water on top. I focus on my breathing as she scrounges through my belongings until she finds the old army green sewing kit and plucks the supplies from inside.

“Abbie?”

“Yeah?” She whirls around and stares at me, waiting for instructions.

“Go grab the last of the whiskey, will ya?”

“Sure, just a sec,” she doesn’t question me, she just rummages in the cupboard until she finds the quarter bottle of booze.

“Give it here,” I hold out my good hand and Abbie opens the top and places the bottle in my palm. “Okay, grab a clean cloth and bring the pot over here with the sewing kit,” I gruffly command her and take a long swig of the booze as she does as she’s told.

Abbie brings the stuff over to the table and I finish off the whiskey in one long gulp.

“I’m gonna need your help getting this shirt off,” I plunk the empty bottle of booze onto the table and Abbie nods.

Together we manage to get the bloody shirt free from my body.

“Did it go through?” I try to turn my head, but the pain is too much.

“What do you mean?”

“Take a look at the back of the wound, is there a hole back there too? Did the bullet go through?” I wince as I lean forward in my chair and Abbie peeks at my back.

“It did. You’re bleeding down your back too,” her chin quivers and I hold up my good hand.

“You gotta keep it together. You’re doing amazing right now, just a bit of stitching and it’ll all be taken care of,” I try to soothe her.

“You want me to give you stitches?” She gasps.

“You have to. I need to close this wound up and I can’t stitch myself very well.”

Abbie nods slowly, like she’s trying to understand words in a different language. “Okay,” she finally answers, “tell me how to do this.”

“First, I need you to clean the wound up. Get the cloth dripping wet and clean both sides,” I push my good hand against the wall for support as Abbie prepares the cloth. She places it over the bullet hole and I sharply breathe in over my teeth and shut my eyes. “Keep going,” I encourage her shaky hands. “You gotta clean both sides.”

She listens to my instructions well, gently flushing out the hole in my shoulder with the hot water.

“Now what?” I open my eyes and see her fear has been replaced by determination. She juts her jaw out and looks at me.

“Do you know how to sew?” I ask, hopeful.

“Sort of, it’s been a while,” she answers sheepishly.

“Great, it’s like riding a bike, you never forget. So, thread the needle, got it?” I watch as she laces the thread through the eye. “Perfect, now I need you to hold the skin together as close as possible and stitch it up, make a knot after every stitch, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” she answers, but her hand hovers in the air, shaking. Her eyebrows knit together and she freezes to the spot.

“Abbie,” I interrupt her thoughts, “you already saved my life today, I know you can do this too. You can do anything,” I encourage her softly.

Abbie takes a deep breath and her breasts push up and out. She leans over me and I can feel the needle press through my flesh, but it doesn’t hurt. “Good girl, you got this. You’re a badass, you know that?” I smile.

“I’m really not,” she protests, but keeps her fingers busy as she ties a knot then slides the needle back into my skin for another stitch.

“Well, you took care of that piece of shit like a badass, that’s for sure. I’m proud of you,” I tell her honestly.

Abbie ties another knot and makes another stitch, “What are we going to do about him?”

“What do you mean?” I wince as I feel her pull the thread tight and the wound closes up. Abbie keeps sewing, not answering me.

“I mean, someone is going to find him. They’re going to know he was killed when they find this place. They’re going to find out I murdered him,” her voice creaks and tears stream down her face.

“Hey, shhh, come here,” I pull her in with my good arm and kiss her on the forehead. “Listen, you can still go back to Whitehorse. I mean, if the bears don’t eat him first and someone really does find him down there, they’ll think it was me, not you. If they ever find me, I’ll say it was me, okay?” I soothe her.

“No!” She yells and jumps back.

“What? What are you talking about?” I search her face for an answer, but her tears leave me no clues.

“I don’t want to go, Cole. I don’t want to go back to Whitehorse, or the US or anywhere that isn’t right here with you. And not because of Cecil. Not because I lost my Mom, or any of that. I don’t want to go because I’d be walking away from the only man I’ve ever loved. I can’t. Please don’t make me go,” she sobs into her hands, her body shaking.

I’ve been hoping she would give me some kind of sign that she didn’t want to go. For days now, every time I’ve brought it up, I’ve been holding my breath, hoping she would tell me she wanted to stay. However, each time, she always agreed with me that it was time to leave.

“Come here,” I demand, holding out my hand to her.

Abbie wipes her sleeve over her face and steps back into my arm looking down at me hopefully.

“You don’t have to go anywhere, Abbie. You think I want to watch you leave? You’re mine, remember, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life remembering the short time I had with the perfect woman. I want to live with her, fill her belly with babies, live each day with her until we’re old and wrinkled up. I never wanted you to go, I just didn’t want to make you stay.” My voice is thick and full of emotion as my heart beats rapid fire in my chest.

“Really?” She smiles down at me and I’m pretty sure my heart skipped a beat.

“Really,” I reassure her. “Don’t go. Let’s move together. I’ll build us a better house, one with a loft and a bath house. One with skylights and enough room for children. Come with me,” I feel like I’m proposing. I guess I am. I might not be down on one knee, and I might not have a ring, but I’m asking this amazing woman to spend the rest of her days with me.

“I will.” She answers and I laugh as pure joy overtakes me.

I pull her into me, drawing her into my mouth and kiss her deep. When Abbie stands up, she looks as awestruck as I feel.

“Just one thing, though,” I interrupt the moment.

“What’s that?” She looks down at me dreamily.

“I still need you to sew up the front of this wound,” I jerk my head toward my bad shoulder and laugh again as Abbie’s eyes grow two sizes bigger.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” She scurries over to the other side of me and grabs the needle dangling down my back, tying off that wound.

“Don’t be. You’ve made me the happiest man alive, Abbie. You never have a single thing to be sorry for.”

As she smiles down at me, I feel a weight I didn’t realize I was dragging around lift from my soul. I know that things won’t always be perfect, but this is about as close as it gets with the perfect woman by my side, life is pretty sweet.

Chapter 35 | Abbie

“Let’s get you out of these dirty pants,” I tug on Cole’s hand and he reluctantly stands up. Although, I’ve gotta say, he seems to perk up a bit as I unbutton them and tug the zipper down for him. He kicks off his boots and gives a shake, letting his pants pool around his ankles and steps out of them.

I shamelessly let my eyes travel over his frame, but am left frowning at all the tiny scrapes and cuts covering him from the fight.

“What’s wrong?” Cole peers down at me, but I don’t answer. I purse my lips together and lead him over to the bed.

“Come lie down,” I’m the one giving him orders now, and I’m surprised when he listens. “I’m going to wipe you down and get you cleaned up.”

He must be able to tell that I’m not about to take no for an answer, or maybe he wants me to take care of him for once, because he doesn’t protest.

I pick up the dirty pot of water and toss it outside the door, I rinse it out and fill it back up with fresh, clean water before putting it on the stove just until I can see tiny bubbles form at the bottom of the pot. I’m not using this for sterilizing anything, so I don’t need to wait for it to come to a full boil this time. I pull the water from the stove with a clean cloth thrown on top and place it down carefully on the small table Cole carved from a tree stump beside the bed.

“You don’t have to do this,” Cole murmurs.

“I want to,” I quiet him, submerging the cloth in the warm water I wring it out and begin wiping down his scrapes carefully.

The backs of his arms are covered in what my mother used to call ’road rash’ when I came home with tears streaked down my dusty face and this pattern on my knees after wiping out on my rollerblades.

If it’s hurting Cole for me to clean him up, he’s hiding it well. Then again, I’d expect nothing less from him. I’ve never met a tougher man in my life.

The rest of his torso is fine, but he managed to get a cut along his hip during his scuffle on the ground. I tenderly clean it out with the cloth, being careful not to tear any of the skin. When I’m finally finished, I look at Cole and he’s watching me so closely.

“What?” I can’t help but smile. The way he’s looking at me would make any woman blush.

“Nothing, I’m just, I’m so lucky to have you,” he doesn’t blink as he looks into my eyes earnestly.

“I feel the same way,” I admit.

Then I see it. His heart isn’t the only thing full of gratitude for me. His cock is growing taller and fuller by the second. I can’t help but stare as it transforms like an inflatable Christmas tree, pumping up and becoming straight and thick. The only difference is, no one usually gets this excited for the tree.

“You know, I’m feeling awfully exposed here with you staring at my cock like that. How about you put that pot away and join me?” Cole’s voice is deep and rumbling with desire.

I nod, licking my lips. I quickly dispose of my sponge bath and don’t hesitate to strip off my clothes and hop into the bed with him.

“Get the fuck over here,” Cole pulls me on top of him, sitting up in the bed until I’m straddling him. “You see what you fucking do to me?” He grabs the base of his cock and pokes the tip against my clit. I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips any more than I can help the way my hips jaggedly grind toward him. It’s instinct. Pure and simple.

Cole pulls me toward him and I’m conscious not to put any weight or pressure on his wound as I comply, letting my tits fall in his face. His mouth hungrily surrounds my nipple, and I sit up on my knees more to keep pressing my clit against his cock as he swirls his tongue over it.

I jolt upright as a pain bolts through my sensitive nipple. “Oww!” I cry out as Cole looks up at me. “That hurt.” I pretend to pout at the little nip he just gave me.

“I guess I’ll have to kiss it better, huh?” His eyes twinkle mischievously and he twirls his cockhead on my clit making me forget what it was I was pretending to sulk over.

His mouth travels between my pert breasts as he drags his tongue down one side the mountain of my flesh and up the other side until he teases my other nipple the same way.

Rocking my hips so I can feel his cock rub against me, I close my eyes and moan loudly, finally not afraid of my own pleasure, or the sounds that come with it.

Cole scoots underneath me, lying back in the bed and my cheeks flush as I wonder if letting myself go like that is what did it.

I’m flustered and unsure of myself, waiting for Cole to tell me why he suddenly decided to lie down.

“Turn around and straddle my face, if you’re gonna get loud, it’s gonna be because you’re cumming in my mouth,” he tells me huskily.

I feel a little self-conscious as I twist myself around and open my legs over his mouth. Is he looking in my ass? Am I doing any of this right? Before I can get too squirmy, Cole’s mouth is on my pussy, his tongue is thrusting inside my lips and with his good arm, he’s guiding me down, down, down to his cock.

I flatten my body against his, my pussy flush with his mouth and my lips hovering over his twitching cock. I can’t believe how much I enjoy sucking on it. It makes me wonder if every girl feels this way about blowjobs, or if it takes the right guy to bring out your inner cock hungry slut.

I embrace mine, desperate to let Cole feel half the pleasure he’s making me experience with his tongue twisting and furling around my clit. I open my mouth wide and slide his dick deep inside until I can feel the head cresting the back of my throat. I want to gag, but I force myself to breathe in deep and keep bobbing my head up and down his shaft, occasionally trying new things like flickering my tongue over the tip of him as I feel my body get closer and closer to my orgasm.

Cole uses both hands to grip my hips and pulls me down onto his mouth, relentlessly battering my clit with his tongue as I writhe against him in pleasure. The bliss overwhelms me, my mouth opens wide as I scream out with ecstasy and Cole’s cock drops out, covered in my saliva.

I shudder against his face, twisting and convulsing like a possessed woman. Finally, the pleasure stops coursing through me and Cole rolls me off of him, “Get back up here,” it isn’t a request. I’m only too happy to comply as I start to straddle his legs again. “No, turn around, I want to watch that sweet ass bounce on me as I fuck you,” he orders and I turn away from him.

Cole lowers me down onto his shaft and I grind down on his cock until he’s inside me. After all the fucking we’ve been doing, the pain of that first time, brief though it was, is long gone. Now it’s nothing but bliss as he thrusts inside me.

“Ride me,” he slaps my ass and I slide up and down his shaft, bouncing my ass on him hard as I bottom out on his dick with each thrust. He feels so thick inside me, like I’m completely filled up by him, but what I really want to be filled up by is his cum.

My body is hungry for it as I bounce my ass off his body over and over, each time bringing myself up almost to the tip and then sliding back down like a stripper down a pole.

Cole opens my ass cheeks, watching what is his and only his fuck him. My first and my last. That’s what I always knew he would be, but it feels so much more real now. Suddenly I can feel Cole’s thumb pressed against my asshole. Not like he’s trying to press it inside me, but just like he’s applying enough pressure to overwhelm me. It works, my pussy starts contracting around him, milking him as my orgasm crashes over me like a tsunami. The ecstasy spills over my senses until I can’t make normal noises. It hijacks my throat taking away all but guttural sounds and yips.

Cole thrusts his hips high, piercing me deep as he empties his seed inside me. I can feel it spurt up against my walls, filling me with every last drop.

Finally, I slide off of him and curl up against him, lying on his good shoulder and run my hand over his chest. “I love you, Cole,” I whisper, even though I would gladly shout it to the world.

“I love you too, Abbie. For now, and forever. And tomorrow, we’re going to head out to build a new house. Our house. I’ll make sure it has rooms for us and our babies,” he smiles.

“Babies?” I grin, “Is that so?”

“Yep, you’ll be a perfect mom. Just like you’re a perfect woman to spend the rest of my life with.”

I have to admit, as I lie down against his good shoulder and close my eyes, I like the way that sounds. I can’t help but feel like I finally took a different path and when I got muddy and was tested by life, I found everything I could ever dream of.

Epilogue | Abbie

I look down at little Parker, playing with his “choo-choo” as he likes to call his Thomas the Tank Engine. I smile as I rub my hands over my belly, these quiet playtimes are about to get disrupted for him. With our second baby due in a little over a month, life is about to get flipped upside down.

Again.

Parker gives me a toothy grin, his eyes are all Cole’s, but his lips are mine. “Mama, can I have dwink appo juice?”

How can I resist that sweet face? “Of course, hon, just a sec,” I waddle over to the fridge in our three-bedroom log house and pour some apple juice into a small plastic cup.

I can’t believe how normal this all feels now. It’s almost like my time in the Yukon and our escape to Alaska was all a dream. A fantasy I conjured up. Like the weeks we spent trekking through the woods until we crossed the border at night was a story I tell myself. Like the way we hitchhiked to Juno, me with a baby in my belly I wasn’t aware of yet, seems like a show I watched a long time ago, not my real life.

Now that Cole found steady work under the table as an apprentice carpenter and we settled into a city full of people who have their own reasons for running away to a place removed by an entire country from the lower forty-eight, it just feels normal. It feels like home.

I snap out of my daze, realizing that I’m staring at our son, happily playing on the living room floor. Cole will be home from work soon, so I guess I’ll get started on supper.

I start peeling some potatoes and look out the kitchen window to the beautiful mountains in the distance. I could never get sick of that view. I love watching the snow at this time of year as it begins to creep down the sides of the mountain range, warning us of the winter to come.

Cole walks in the door just as I throw the chicken in the oven. Just like he does every day, he crosses the floor, gives me a tender kiss and then a not-so-tender ass grab.

“Hey! Hands off,” I laugh, but he knows I love that he can’t keep his hands off me.

“No deal, that ass is mine, don’t you forget it,” he pulls me in and kisses me again.

“Daddy!” Parker comes running across the floor to meet Cole with open arms. It’s not hard to understand why they call them toddlers, anyone who’s seen a two-year-old walk and run around knows that it’s the perfect description for them.

“Hey little man, how was your day? Were you a good boy for your Mama?” Cole sweeps Parker into his arms and lifts him from the ground as our son squeals with delight.

“I vewy good, wight Mama?” He looks over at me solemnly, like he’s swearing on a bible in court.

“Always,” I agree, tousling his golden hair.

“Family hugs!” Parker demands, holding his arms out to request that I join him in his father’s arms. I used to fit a lot easier before my bump popped. Now, at eight months along, I can barely feel Cole’s fingertips strain to reach me around Parker. Still, it feels amazing to be all together like this. And I know that in another month, these family hugs will be even sweeter when our little girl enters the world.

“All right, you get off your feet Abbie, I’m sure you’ve had a long day,” Cole frees me from his grasp and places Parker back on his feet. “You and I have some ‘choo-choos’ to play with bud, let’s go!” Cole smiles down at him and Parker excitedly leads the way into the living room. Cole has always been better at playing with him than I am. He’s more exciting and engaging and Parker adores his one-on-one time with his Dad.

I make my way over to the comfy chair across the room and watch them, smiling as I rub my belly slowly. If this isn’t perfection, I don’t want to know what is. As Parker’s eyes twinkle up at Cole and they laugh together on the floor pushing around trains, I feel our daughter give me a couple of kicks.

“She’s kicking guys, come feel,” I interrupt their game, but Parker doesn’t mind. He loves feeling the baby give me swift little boots from the inside. I think it makes it more real for him. I guide his hand to where his sister is practicing aerobics and his face lights up with excitement. Cole stands over us and I can see the pride in his puffed-out chest and broad smile as he soaks in the moment.

Yeah, it doesn’t get more perfect than this. I know my own Mama is looking down on me, happy that I took a chance, that I lived my life and that I found my path. The path that led me to the love of my life, to my happiness and to the family I’ve always wanted.

Thank you, Mama.

“I love you, Abbie,” Cole’s voice is deep and soft, like he’s talking to me in a dream.

“I love you too,” I answer.

“And me!” Parker yells.

“Of course, no one could forget you!” I laugh.

I guess so much of my life feels like a distant dream is because it is one. A dream come true.

* * *