Chapter Four
Two months later
“You’re sure about this?” Devil asked.
“I’m sure. It’s time for me to do something. I can’t sit around all day.” Sinner placed the apartment key on the desk. “I’m not quitting the club. I just need some fresh air. You know. I need to bring shit back into focus. This was what you offered me. I’m taking you up on that.”
“I’m not going to lie, it’s going to be sad to see you go.” Devil moved from behind his desk, and leaned against it.
Sinner glanced around the office. “I never thought I’d leave Piston County.”
“You’re going to need a patch.” Devil grabbed the one that Sinner had already spotted. “Here you go. You okay to stitch it on?”
“Yeah, I can stitch on the patch.” He glanced down at the two words, Nomad Chapter. His leather jacket already had Chaos Bleeds on it. Now he had to include that he was part of the Nomads.
“There’s no Prez there. You’re a band of brothers. I called to Lucius. He’s put the word out about you becoming a Nomad. Remember, you can stop here any chance you want. We’re still your family, and I’ll make sure your apartment is taken care of.”
Sinner nodded. “Thanks for this.”
“Is she worth this?” Devil asked.
“You know, I thought about that. I even watched one of the club whores. For a split second, I thought about getting over Lola by having another woman. I couldn’t do it. I don’t want anyone else. I guess for the right woman, you just know. I’ve stared at my cell phone more often that I could count. All it would take was one phone call.”
“Then why don’t you phone her? If you ask her, I imagine she’d come to you. She does love you in her way.”
“In her way, yeah, exactly. She’s going to come to me because I ask her to, and I don’t want that. I want her to do what she needs to do, and I’m going to be ready for her.”
“You’re still going to take her back after everything?” Devil asked.
Sinner smiled. “Of course, I am. First, I’m going to get my shit together. Like Lexie said, I squeezed too tightly, and in doing so, I caused this just as much as she did. We made mistakes. I have no doubt that we’re going to find each other again. That’s just not going to happen right now.” He held out his hand waiting for Devil.
Devil shook his head. “You’re a fine man, Sinner.”
“You betcha ass I am.” He winked at Devil. He was feeling better in his own mind. He and Lola had needed this break more than anything. From the moment, they had settled down in Piston County, it had been one fucking thing after another. They hadn’t been able to sit back, and bask in settling down. In doing so, he’d changed. He knew that. He wasn’t the same man that he’d been just eight years ago.
It was hard to think that eight years ago, they’d come to Piston County where Simon was housed with his auntie Lexie.
Leaving the office, he saw several of the guys had lined up to wish him well, Pussy, Ripper, Curse, Dime, Slash, Reese, Charlie, just to name a few.
He got to his bike, and that was where he saw Butler. “You’re not going to come with me?”
Butler looked at the patch and shook his head. “I can’t leave. Being on the road, it held too much temptation. I don’t want to open that door again. I’m clean, and I’m happy about that.”
Sinner saw that his friend was struggling, and he hated that fact that he even asked. “I’m sorry, man.”
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Butler ran fingers through his hair. “Life on the road, it’s hazy, you know. Being clean, it has become my whole life, and I don’t want to lose that.”
“You’re strong, man. I don’t think you’ll ever cave to that old shit.”
Butler held his arms out. “I’m not even going to give it a chance. I wish you the best, and I hope more than anything that you find what you’re looking for.”
Within minutes Sinner was on his bike, and out of the clubhouse. The open road. There was no looking back, only going forward. He rode for over an hour, not caring where he was going in any direction. He had the clothes on his back, with his wallet, patch, and a few bare essentials. Part of being on the open road was not having any shit wearing him down. It was all about the freedom.
After riding for three hours straight, he pulled off at a café that looked like it had seen better days. Parking his bike, he took a seat, giving his order to the waitress, who again had seen better days. Taking out his stitching kit, he pulled his leather jacket off, and began to stitch on the patch.
He didn’t pay any attention to the waitress as she brought him coffee and food. In between working the patch onto his leather jacket, he ate, drank, and smoked. No one tried to stop him. This was his domain.
Sinner held his jacket up, assessing his work. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do. Chaos Bleeds Nomad Chapter.
“Are you all done?” the woman, Trisha, asked.
“Yeah, I’ll have another coffee.”
She grabbed his plates and empty cups. “You know a few of you boys were here the other day. You’re a little behind.”
“Sweetheart, we don’t always ride together. Were they Chaos Bleeds?”
“Jacket said so. I don’t really pay much attention. All sorts come through here. You’re all the same.”
Sinner smirked. There it was, the judgment. In a weird kind of way, it felt good to be judged again. “Oh, lady, if only you knew what I could get up to.” He gave her a wink, and she snorted.
“Son, you don’t even know what danger is.” She waved her hand as if he was nothing more than a child.
It felt good to be back, and that was exactly how he felt. Back.
****
“He left?” Lola asked.
“I’m sorry, honey. You couldn’t expect Sinner to wait around for you. He needed some air.”
“It’s fine. I just, the Nomad Chapter? I’ve never heard of them?” Lola rubbed her head, trying to figure out why she didn’t know anything about another chapter of Chaos Bleeds.
“Why would you? You have met a couple of guys from the Nomad Chapter. Truth be told, there’s not a lot to tell. They are … dangerous. They’re part of Chaos Bleeds, but they don’t stick to a clubhouse, and they don’t see themselves as controlled. If Devil needs them, he’ll ask them, but again, there’s not always a guarantee that they’ll turn up.”
“Why are they part of Chaos Bleeds?”
“Before Devil came to town, they all rode together for some time. The men consider themselves part of the Chaos Bleeds crew. I believe there is also a crew for The Skulls. Adam was part of it.”
Lola knew Adam, and sighed. “Is there any way of getting in touch with him?”
“You’ve not spoken to him up to now, Lola.”
“He didn’t call me either.” She felt … defensive.
“Why should he? You left. Oh, honey, I don’t want to fight, okay? I’m tired, and fighting is not what I want to do right now. You knew something like this would happen, and guess what? It has.”
Lola heard the exhaustion in Lexie’s voice. “You’re completely right. So, what’s been happening at home?”
“Everything is going okay. Judi is pregnant with baby number three. We also got the news that Dick and Martha are pregnant for the first time. We’re going to be having a big baby shower for the two.”
“I will try and make it back home. When will it be?”
The date was in three months’ time.
“Mommy, Josh spat on my card again. It has to be perfect for Tabby,” Simon said in the background.
“I’ll let you go.”
“Bye, Lola.”
The call ended, and she stared down at her cell phone. Lexie had started to grow bored of talking to her, and Lola couldn’t blame her. Even Paris had stopped calling. Glancing around her apartment, she sat back, and just stared. Sinner was on the road, and there was only one way of getting in touch with him. That was calling him.
It was so hard to just call him, and it drove her crazy. It shouldn’t be hard at all. They’d had a life together, which she had ruined because she felt the need to.
There was a knock at the door, and she hadn’t been expecting any guests. Getting up from the sofa took a lot of work, and she didn’t want to talk to anyone.
Opening the door, she saw that Lacey was on the other side with Sally and Daisy.
“Oh, wow, I had no idea you were coming here,” Lola said, opening up her door.
“Last time I checked there was nothing wrong with having a girly Friday night. Please tell me you don’t have plans with those awful women?”
“Sarah and Belinda? No, they stopped inviting me. According to them, having a friend sitting at the bar all night, refusing offers of dancing is just too embarrassing. So, here I am.”
“Lucky for you, we have guy trouble.” Lacey pointed at Sally.
“This is not about me, Mom. This is about you. She’s having a fight with Whizz.”
“Mommy and Daddy are fighting about food,” Daisy said, rushing to sit down, and already had the television on.
“I may have accidentally set our kitchen on fire.”
“There was no accident about it, Mom. You totaled the kitchen,” Sally said.
Lola looked toward the kitchen to see Sally rummaging around her fridge. It had been a couple of years since the attack on The Skulls clubhouse had taken Sally’s leg from then knee down. She now wore a prosthetic, and she had trained nonstop to make sure she could walk without fault. At the end of long days, she was always in pain.
“How did you total the kitchen?” Lola asked, taking a seat beside Daisy.
“I turned my back.”
Lacey said nothing else.
“She left the oven on. A pan of water burned dry, but she also placed a towel on the stove, forgetting about it. That towel was spread out, onto a newspaper. As you can imagine, one set fire to the other, and then the kitchen went up in flames,” Sally said, making up some sandwiches as she did. “Ergo, Dad’s pissed, and Mom has decided to have a girly day with you, while trying to make out it is about me.”
Daisy nudged her. “Drew has told Sally that he loves her, and we all know Steven loves her.”
“Drew didn’t say that. He simply told me that without me, he wouldn’t have been able to deal. It’s only because my injury was worse than his,” Sally said, coming into the sitting room. She handed out some sandwiches, and Lola took hers gratefully. Sally lowered herself down into a chair, and it was then that Lola saw the perspiration on her forehead. “Nothing will ever happen between me and Drew. He’s a friend.”
“That’s because you love Steven.” Daisy drew out the word love.
Lacey sat on the edge of the sofa with all of her ink on glorious display. She wore a shirt and a pair of jeans, which showcased all of her curves. To Lola, Lacey was one of the most beautiful women she had seen. Going through hell and back, she had a wit and fire about her.
“You don’t mind me crashing here, do you?” Lacey asked.
“Not at all. I’d be glad of the company. I had some upsetting news.”
“Oh—”
“We’ll talk when the little one is in bed.”
Sally’s cell phone went off, and Lola watched the other girl’s face transform.
“Thank you,” Lacey said. “I don’t like fighting with Whizz.”
“Especially when you’re wrong,” Sally said.
“I thought you were on my side?”
“There is no side, Mom. It’s simple. You fucked up, and Dad freaked.” Sally tilted her head to the side. “Do you even know why he freaked?”
“He was angry that I had been in the kitchen. He has put a weird ban on it.”
“It was a necessary ban,” Sally said. “You can’t cook, and you nearly served raw chicken.”
“It said it was cooked.”
“It was white on the outside, and pink in the center. You cannot cook. Besides, Dad was pissed because you could have hurt yourself, and us. He was worried, and you acted like a bitch.”
Daisy gasped. “We can’t tell Mom that. Dad told us we have to keep it a secret.”
Lola laughed as Lacey huffed. “I’m not in the wrong.”
“Maybe you’re a little in the wrong,” Lola said. “I don’t mind. I get to have some company.” She rested her head on Lacey’s shoulder, needing someone.
“Whizz sends his love.”
“And you don’t mind that.”
“Honey, if I was worried, I wouldn’t be telling you. I know that Whizz loves me.”
They sat watching some weird cartoon. Sally’s cell phone kept on dinging in between, and Lola was content. She had her friends, and right now, she couldn’t break apart, not even if she wanted to. She had friends, guests, and she was going to make sure she didn’t spoil their time.
After food, they bathed and put Daisy to bed. Lola went to the fridge, and decided to open that bottle of wine that she had been putting off.
She poured three large glasses, and sat down on the sofa. Sally took the wine, and sipped at it.
“How are you?” Lola asked.
“I’m fine. Ignore what Daisy said. Drew and I are friends. I wouldn’t even dream of pretending to be anything else.”
“You love Steven?”
Sally’s cheeks went bright red, and she rubbed her temple. “That’s even more complicated.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m younger than he is.”
“So, Sinner’s older than me.” Lola shrugged. “I didn’t leave because of our ages.”
“Why did you leave?” Sally asked. “I thought you were happy that you were getting better?”
“I thought I was, but guess what? I lied.” Lola laughed, even though humor was the furthest thing from her mind. “Looking back over the past couple of months, I don’t know why I left. Isn’t that a nightmare scenario right now?” She sighed. “I wasn’t happy, and Sinner, he was … so overprotective. I know that seems crazy, but he was protecting me all the time. He was making sure nothing hurt me, or that anyone didn’t push too hard.” She ran fingers through her hair. “It wasn’t right. I didn’t want him to always be protecting me. I love him so much, and don’t you think he should be free to do that? Not worry about me all the time.” Tears filled her eyes, and she sighed. “Ignore me. I suck.”
“You don’t suck, Lola. It will be okay.”
“I don’t think it will be.”
“You don’t?” Lacey asked, slumping down beside her, and taking her glass from the coffee table.
“I’ve just called Lexie before you turned up. Sinner’s left Piston County. He’s on the road, and there’s nothing I can do about that. I may never see him again.” The tears that had been swimming in her eyes, cascaded down her cheeks. She hated crying so much and would usually do anything to avoid crying.
“Oh, honey,” Lacey said, hugging her close. “Does he still have his cell phone?”
“Yes, but should I call him? I was wrong to do this.”
“You had your reasons. We won’t all get it or understand why you did it. You may not see this, but you’re drinking wine, and you didn’t freak out when I knocked on the door. You’re stronger than you were three months ago. This life away from both clubs, and working, and being with those two loser friends, has helped you.”
Lola laughed. “How can you make me feel so good?”
“Because I’ve been where you are. I’m here now, with the love of my life pissed that I could have killed myself.”
“Did you really total your kitchen?”
“She did,” Sally said. “It’s going to stink, badly.”
“Whizz is already dealing with the repairs,” Lacey said. “This is not about us, honey. This is about you.”
“I want Sinner, but I want him when I can be myself. Pre-Master, not post-Master.” She shook her head. “If that is even possible.”
“How about you just become you, and you don’t try to be the old you? Be the new you. I had to.” Sally pointed at her leg. “I’m not the old me. I could sit and wallow in what I lost, and I lost something. Or I could keep moving forward. That’s what you need to do, Lola, move forward. If you love Sinner and you don’t want to lose that, call him.” Sally held out Lola’s cell phone. “Sometimes, couples need distance to make the heart grow stronger, and others need time. You’re not like every other couple. You may not be perfect this year, or next year, but one day soon, I think you would find yourself with him again.”
Silence fell in the room.
“I think you need to take a career in writing romance,” Lacey said. “That was so sweet.”
Sally chuckled. “It’s the happily-ever-afters that get me. I just want everyone to have theirs. Is that too much to ask?”
“In this day and age, it certainly seems it.”
Lola stared down at her cell phone, and she didn’t know what to do.
“Sally, why don’t we get changed for bed, and give Lola some privacy?”
Lacey and Sally left her alone, and pushing her hair out of her face, Lola stared down at the phone. One phone call was all it took.
She tapped at her phone, bringing up Sinner’s name.
This was her chance of doing this.
Don’t back down.
Don’t fight this.
Tapping his name, and held the cell phone to her ear.
I can do this.
For the longest time the phone rang, and rang, and rang. Once again, she felt her heart was being torn in two, but it was all her fault.
She waited to see if he would answer, hoping that he would, praying that he would.
Her wishes were answered.
“Lola,” he said.
Just hearing his voice had her crying out.
“Sinner. I love you so much. God, why did I wait to call you?” She covered her mouth, and tried to stop the sobbing. It was just too much. She needed to hear his voice, to know that he was doing okay. She missed him so much.
“I love you, too, baby. What’s wrong?” Sinner asked.
“I heard what happened. You leaving Chaos Bleeds. You’re on the road.”
“I had to clear my head.”
“I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“I’m not going to say that it didn’t hurt me. It did, and you know what, it’s a good thing. I’ve been able to see where I fucked up.”
“Oh, Sinner, you never fucked up. I swear. This is all me.”
“It’s not. I promise, babe. I needed this as much as you.”
“You’re on the road?” she asked.
“I’ve stopped for the night. Checked into a motel. I have to say, this place is really fucking shitty. I don’t think they’ve changed the bedding, but it’s a nice warm bed.”
She chuckled. “You did say you loved being on the road and how unpredictable it can be.”
“Yeah, I’m not seeing the appeal right now. It’s good to hear your voice, baby.”
The way he said “baby” gave her a thrill that she hadn’t experienced in a long time. Closing her eyes, she released a sigh. “You know what to do and say to get me all warm inside.”
“I wish you were here right now. What are you wearing?” he asked.
She glanced down at her jeans and shirt. “Nothing.”
“The things I’d do to you right now would have you screaming my name in seconds.”
She gritted her teeth. “Lacey, Sally, and Daisy are here. Can we take a rain check for tomorrow? I’ll call you?”
“You got it, babe.”
“Will you always get into a motel?”
“Nope. Sometimes it’ll just be me and the stars.”
It sounded wonderful.
“I love you, Sinner.”
“Thank you for calling me, Lola.”
They said their good-byes, and she stared down at her cell with a smile. Maybe, just maybe she’d be able to find her way back to him.