Chapter Seven
“Hey, baby,” Sinner said. He had caved and asked Devil to pay for the hotel room.
“Hey,” Lola said.
The moment she spoke, he knew something was wrong.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked.
She didn’t make a sound for so long that he was worried he had missed something. “Lola?”
“I’m fine, Sinner. I have a headache. It has been a long day.”
“Did you have time to play with your new toys?”
“I’m not going to be up for anything like that tonight.”
Sinner sat down on the bed, and waited. “Talk to me, Lola.”
“Have I ruined us, Sinner? Is there any hope for us for the future?”
“Of course.”
“No bullshit?”
“That’s not bullshit, babe. That’s the truth. You’re still my girl, right?”
“Am I?” she asked. “I left.”
“Let’s get past that. You’re my girl, Lola. Tell me who do you belong to?” he asked.
“You. I’ll always belong to you.”
Sinner sat back, and his heart was pounding. Was she about to open up to him? They hadn’t talked about her time being kidnapped, trapped, beaten. He knew everything, and he had never pushed. What he’d done was try to protect her every chance he got. He had fucked up the most when it came to her.
“He’s always there inside my head. I can’t make him stop, and it’s killing me.”
He closed his eyes, and even as he felt relief, he knew this was his chance, and he couldn’t fuck that up.
“I don’t know what to do. Look at what I’ve already done. I’ve left a life I love. I love you, Sinner, and I love our life in Piston County. What am I doing?”
She was growing. She was healing.
“You’re doing what you need to do, Lola. I’m proud of you.”
Lola growled. “I … I need to be better for you, Sinner. I had to be the woman you deserved. I don’t want you freaking out about a cage, or something else that could trigger bad memories. He was violent, vicious, and cruel. You are not any of those things, and I always knew that.”
Again, he didn’t say anything, waiting for her to speak.
“I was walking home when I was taken. It was painful, and the pain didn’t stop for a long time. If I didn’t do what he said fast enough, he’d hurt me.”
“I wish I could take that pain away from you, baby. You know I’d do that for you in a heartbeat.”
“I know. You’ve always been so good for me, even when I’ve not deserved it.” She cried. “I didn’t think I’d ever get out, and I begged for death. After everything that happened. What makes it worse, Paris was with me. I saw what they did to her, and part of me was glad.” She stopped, and he heard the pain inside her. He had known this all along. Even Paris had known it. “I was pleased that they had picked her and not me. I hated knowing what I did. How could Paris be friends with me when I was glad that they hurt her and not me? I’m such a horrible person.”
Sinner felt completely helpless, and he forced the tears back. She didn’t need him weak, even though when it came to his woman, he completely was.
“Paris felt the same way.”
“She would distract them when she could,” Lola said. “She would try and save me, and I didn’t say anything.” Another pause. “I’m so ashamed. I don’t deserve her forgiveness or her friendship. I’m a horrible person.”
Sinner didn’t even think. He checked the time, and knew that if he rode all night, he would be with her by morning.
“It’s not your fault. What happened had nothing to do with you, babe.”
“I have to go now, Sinner. I need to … I don’t know…”
The line went dead.
“Lola? Lola? Fuck.” He left his apartment and went to Lucius’s door and knocked. “I’ve got to head out. My woman needs me.”
“Go. We’ll meet up soon.”
He nodded. Without looking back, he went to his bike, straddled his machine, and headed toward his woman. Sinner didn’t know if this was the start of their relationship again. He only knew that he had to hug her, to be with her, and make sure she was okay.
****
Lola couldn’t sleep. She drank her wine as she looked through the pictures that she had taken home with her. When she finished her first bottle of wine, she grabbed the second bottle. The hours ticked by, and as they did, she became even more guilty as memories of their time unfolded in her mind once again.
Each punishment. Each pain.
What kind of friend was she if she was happy to see Paris was taken and not her? She had been young, weak, and pathetic. She hated herself, and that was another reason she had to get out of Piston County.
Paris deserved a better friend than she was.
Around four in the morning, she crashed out from the drink and exhaustion. She was on her sitting room floor, curled up in a ball surrounded by all of her pictures. The memories she had tried to fight, to hide from.
At seven o’clock a knock at the door woke her up. She rolled over and frowned as she heard Sinner’s voice. It was impossible. There was no way that it could be his voice. He was nowhere near her.
“Lola, baby, open up. I need to know that you’re okay.” He hit her door, and she rolled over, even as her head began to pound. The events and the truths she’d told the night before came back to haunt her, pushing everything back into clarity.
Getting to her feet was hard. Her head was throbbing, and her stomach wanted to empty its contents. She ignored it all and went to her door.
She removed each chain with a shaking hand. She wasn’t nervous, not even slightly. Licking her parched lips, she opened her door, and there he was, Sinner.
“Sinner,” she said his name, afraid that he would disappear.
In one step, she was in his arms. Within a second, his lips were on hers, and she felt safe. She felt like everything she had faced had been worth it.
Lola knew she was nowhere near to being healed. She was just starting.
“What happened wasn’t your fault,” he said.
“I’m a monster, Sinner. I disgust myself.”
“No.” He cupped her face, and forced her to look at him. “Look at me, Lola.” When she didn’t, he gave her a rough shake. “Look at me.” She opened her eyes, and stared at him. The love in them shone back. “You were taken against your will. You were picked because of your skill. He didn’t give a shit about how to keep you in line, so he used fear. You were young, a girl, and he tore every innocent thing away from you.”
“How can you even look at me after everything I’ve felt?” she asked. “Who wants someone who is happy that another was hurting?”
“Did you want Paris to be hurt? Even if there was no risk to you?”
“No, of course not. I would never want Paris hurt. She is my friend, and I love her.”
“That’s what makes you a good person. The choice was taken out of your hands. You and Paris didn’t have a single choice in what happened to you,” he said. He stroked her face. “What you went through, to me, you are one of the bravest women I’ve ever known. I’m proud of what you’ve been able to accomplish. You couldn’t even touch a computer for the longest time. I love you, Lola. Even after what we’ve been through. You leaving me, I didn’t get it in the beginning, but now, I see it, and I see you.” He stared at her in a way that he’d never done before.
It was like his eyes were open clearly, and he finally saw the real her, the person she’d been trying to be.
“This is not who I was meant to be,” she said.
“You’re exactly how you should be, babe. No one, and I mean no one, can take anything away from you. You’ve earned everything in life. That shit with Andrew, it meant nothing, it is nothing. You do not need to think about it. You do not need to be guilty for your feelings. That was another time, and you cannot allow it to bring you down.” He pressed his lips against her forehead, and Lola closed her eyes, basking in his touch. “You have come a long way,” he said.
“What do you mean?”
“You wouldn’t have opened up to me like this.”
“I told you everything,” she said, pulling away a little but not so far that his hands wouldn’t be on her.
“No, you didn’t. You rarely talked about how you were thinking or feeling. I always had to guess. It was nearly impossible to reach you, babe. You just didn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t know what to do.”
She stared at him, thinking it couldn’t be true, and yet, that was exactly what it was, true. When she woke up at night, she would just have him hold her, and she’d tell him that Master or Andrew had visited her dreams. Depending on how scary it was, depended on who visited. They were both the same person, but she had known Master first. That had been his name, the person she had no choice but to follow. Andrew was the name she had learned a little later, the name he went by in the world, and it tormented her at times that she had two sides to one hell.
Sinner ran his hands up and down her arms, and she felt like crap, the worst kind of crap.
“This is good for you,” he said. “Being away from the club. Setting up your new life. I didn’t think it was, and I didn’t know why you were doing it, but I know now, and all I can say is sorry, babe. Sorry for being a complete and total asshole to you when you really didn’t deserve it.” He leaned in close, and put another kiss to her head. “I love you, Lola, more than anything.”
She held onto his arms, knowing and feeling that love deep in her core. They were not just empty words, but there was real emotion and feeling behind it.
“I once heard someone say something, and it went along the lines, that if you loved someone, truly loved them, you’d let them go. I didn’t think for a second that it was possible to let anyone go. You help them, and you guide them. But now I see that if you really want someone to thrive, to be better, to find themselves, then you have to learn to let them go. Not in the way that we’ll never see each other, but knowing in my head and heart, that somehow, we will find our way back to each other.”
She grabbed his jacket and pulled him close. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pressed her lips against his.
This was not the start of their new beginning. She had to finish this. She had to finish what she had started, but no matter what, her mind, her body, her heart, and her very soul belonged to him. Nothing was going to change that.
“Make love to me, Sinner.”
She didn’t need to ask him twice. He picked her up and carried her through to the bedroom that she pointed out. He placed her on the bed, and she watched as he removed his jacket.
Her pussy grew slick as he tugged off his shirt, and then she realized that she was just gawking at him. Tearing at her own clothes, she matched him in speed as she removed hers. The moment they were both naked, she threw herself at him.
He caught her around the waist, and together they fell to the bed. She moaned as his hard cock pressed against her stomach.
Reaching down, she wrapped her fingers around the length, and started to work from his balls up to the tip, and down again. Pre-cum already leaking out of the little slit at the top.
Sinner groaned and caught her hand, pressing them either side of her head. “It has been too long for me.”
“Too long?”
“Yes. There are no women for me on the roads. All I have is our memories that we created.”
She loved this man, more than anything, she loved him. He released her hands and kissed her lips, trailing them down to her breasts. He flicked the tips of each of her breasts, and she arched up, aching, and needing him.
“Who do you belong to?”
“You, Sinner, just you. There’s no one else.”
“Damn right, there’s no one else. Only I will ever know the taste of your pussy. Only I will know how hard your nipples get when they went to be sucked. You want my cock, don’t you, babe? You want it so deep inside you, that you can forget about everything else.”
“Yes!” She screamed the word, unable to hold back. It had been too long since she had been with him, and now that he was here in the flesh, she had to have him. To love him, to fuck him.
Sinner kissed down her belly, making her giggle as he stopped at her stomach, and gave a little growl and nibble. He didn’t linger for long, and trailed his lips between her thighs.
She opened her legs.
“Show me this pretty pussy,” he said.
She held the lips of her sex open, showing him what he wanted. When his tongue touched, she gasped at the sensation. He swirled around her clit, and moved down, going to her entrance. The sensation was … amazing.
He plundered inside her, and then brought his tongue up to tease her clit.
“You’re so wet and juicy, Lola. I could lick you all day long, and I’ve got time.”
“I’m all yours, Sinner. Every single part of me belongs to you. Forever and always.” Whatever path they were taking, and she didn’t completely understand it, but it was happening, she just knew they were going to find their way together again.
He gripped her hips, spreading open her thighs until she was arching up into his touch. “So fucking perfect,” he said, growling the words against her flesh. She loved it when he did that, and when he tugged her clit into his mouth, using his teeth to create just enough pain that it has her gasping and begging for more.
“You know what I want,” he said.
Sinner wanted her complete surrender, and she gave it. She gave herself to him, riding up against his face, needing him more than she had ever needed anything else.
“Come all over my face, baby. I want to taste all of you, every single part.”
Gripping the sheets beneath her, she screamed his name as he focused on her clit, sliding his tongue back and forth, building up a release that was so earth-shattering, she didn’t think she would ever have the strength for more.
Before her orgasm was even over, Sinner was between her thighs and inside her. He filled her to the brim, and she stared right into his eyes as he claimed her, loving every part of him.
“This, right here, this feeling of being inside you, that’s what I’m fighting for, and that’s what I know we’re going to keep on having.” He pulled out of her until only the very tip of him was within her, then slammed every inch inside her. “Am I hurting you?”
“No. You’re not hurting me. I love it. Please, don’t stop.”
He grabbed hold of her hands, and like many times before, he pinned her to the bed, only this time, there was no initial fear, nor need to get away. She thrust up to meet his cock, begging for more, and knowing in her heart and in her head, that she had finally found what she was looking for.