“I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Mallory’s voice rings out behind me, her naturally chipper tone like a burst of sunshine through the yoga studio. I look up to see her toned body clad in purple yoga pants and a lime green top.

“You look like an eggplant,” I laugh. “A gorgeous one, but an eggplant anyway.”

“It was all I had clean,” she admits. “I hate laundry.”

“I don’t know of anyone that likes laundry.”

Finishing my stretch, I pull my legs to me and wait for her to join me on the mat.

Mallory has classes every day of the week, but mornings are the least busy and my favorite. I love the quiet. Today, in particular, I need the zen. I also wanted to show Mallory I’m not angry with her.

She plops down beside me and smiles. “I’m glad you came. I was wondering if I should come by Halcyon or if you’d just toss me out on my eggplant rear.”

I can’t help but laugh. “I considered quitting you,” I wink. “But I’m stressed and yoga helps and this is my favorite studio. So I figured I’d better not quit you yet.”

“Thank God for small favors,” she sighs. “Please know I didn’t mean to make you mad with the whole Ford thing. Sometimes I just think I have a brilliant plan and act on it and then realize later I might’ve kind of crossed boundaries.”

“You think?”

She blows out a deep breath, her cheeks pinking. “I thought maybe I could bring the two of you together again. I love a good love story and felt like that information was dropped in my lap for a reason.”

“I know you meant well.” I grab my toes and lean towards my knees, hoping this gives me a minute to figure out what else to say.

“I’m probably prying, but how did things go? I know his side of it, but what’s yours?”

I sit back up and look at her. My first reaction is to ask what he said about me, but I talk myself out of it. I want to come to terms with my reaction without having his and hers thrown into the mix any more than they already are.

“I have really mixed emotions about him,” I admit.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really. I’m not sure where to even start. Besides,” I say, getting to my feet, “I could probably talk through it for hours and be as confused as I already am.”

She laughs, standing as well. “Can I cross one more boundary and say something else?”

“You’re going to do it either way, aren’t you?”

“Probably,” she grins. “Look, I know it’s been awhile since you’ve really spent a lot of time with Ford. It’s been years, Graham says.”

“Almost ten.”

“Right. So, I wanted you to know that while I don’t know what Ford was like growing up, I do know him now. He’s a giant pain-in-my-butt, eats all the pie, and routinely gets Graham so worked up that I think he’s going to have a heart attack and die.”

Despite the words out of her mouth, Mallory has a smile stretched from ear to ear.

“He’s also ridiculously intelligent, funny as hell, and the kindest Landry in the bunch.” Mallory’s voice softens. “No one has a bigger heart than Ford. No one looks at people and immediately sees the good, not the bad, like him. He’s pretty special, Ellie. I wouldn’t have sent him your way if he wasn’t.”

My shoulders slump. “I spent so many years being mad at him. Venomously angry at first, then more bitter, I guess, as time went on. It’s weird now to see him face-to-face after having felt that way for such a long time.”

“I bet it does, and I didn’t think about that.”

I drag in a deep breath and blow it out, hoping to push away some of the confusion in my brain. “When I hated him, at least I knew how to deal with that. It was almost safe, in a way. But now …”

“Now what?”

“Now I’m not sure how I feel.”

It’s the most honest thing I can think of to say. After mulling it over for hours, having his smile flit through my mind at random times, hoping I run into him at the gas station—I don’t want to know if I want to know how I feel.

“Liking him is too easy,” I concede. “It’s that boyish grin that does me in.”

“Not that I’m looking because I’m not, but it might be his body that does me in if I were you,” she winks.

I can’t help but laugh, knowing just how right she is. But physical attraction isn’t my problem. I’m a red-blooded female, after all. The problem is something deeper, something more difficult to see.

“Let me ask you something, Mal.”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Is he really the good person you say he is? What I mean by that is does he date a lot? Does he go through women like crazy? You know, is he nice to people?”

Holding my breath as she considers my question, I wonder if she’ll be completely truthful. Will she try to sell me on the guy she likes or will she dig deep and find the one time he was a jerk, like leaving a girl high and dry after he realizes he doesn’t want to be with her.

Like what he did to me.

Her features soften. “He hasn’t seriously dated anyone since I’ve known him. Sure, he’s been with girls but none that he’s brought around any of us. So that should answer that part of your question.”

“What about the other?” I ask, my chest tightening with anticipation.

“He’s the nicest guy I’ve ever met.”

The simplicity in her statement speaks louder than anything. It’s like those few words say everything she can say. There’s nothing else to add.

My shoulders sag at the sincerity in her tone. “That’s good to hear,” I whisper.

“I know getting involved with someone, anyone, is hard. You really put your heart out there and hope they treat it kindly. When I gave in to Graham, I remember hoping he wouldn’t treat me like a contract closure if he decided it didn’t work between us. I worried about that.”

“That’s the thing … Ford did treat me like that before. He didn’t want to be with me anymore and it was just like, ‘bye,’” I sigh. “I’ve had guys do that before, obviously. We all have. But he’s not just another guy. He’s Ford. He was my first love, my first everything, to be honest. There’s so much more tied up in things with him. A part of me feels stupid for even considering getting involved with him right now when Halcyon is getting off the ground, I just moved back home. Why invite the possible drama?”

“Life is complicated, Ellie. Look around at the people you know. Are any of their lives easy?”

“Yours seems pretty cush right now,” I tease.

“I spent an hour this morning arguing with Graham about a mug that was left in the sink last night,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I wouldn’t trade Graham for anyone in the world, but let me tell you, it’s not easy dating someone like him.”

“He’s pretty intense, right?”

“And high maintenance,” she laughs. “The man has to have everything done a certain way. His clothes have to be facing a specific way in the closet. Can you believe that?”

“You’re serious?”

“Yup, but I’m breaking him. Slowly.”

I think about her words as she jogs off to welcome a few customers. Ford certainly is complicated, but being with him is also so easy. It always has been. But maybe that means it’s so easy because there’s nothing too deep about it. Maybe it’s a sign that our lives will cross from time to time, but there’s nothing to put roots in.

Mallory’s hand lands on my shoulder, making me jump. “It’s about time to start class. But I wanted to give you one last piece of advice I’ve learned since I met Graham.”

“Shoot.”

“If you can walk away from Ford, do it. That means he’s not the one for you.”

My heart pulls at the thought of not seeing him again. It already hurts to think of going days, months, years again without having him in my orbit.

“In every other relationship I’ve ever had,” Mallory adds, “I’ve always felt like I could leave and survive if I wanted to. I know if I tried to leave Graham, he’d come after me. And I’d want him to. I’d need him to.”

With that, she heads to the front to greet her customers, and I’m left sitting on the mat to think.