Mia

Mia walked down the aisles of the grocery store humming softly to herself. It was the first time in what felt like weeks that she'd had a moment to spend on herself and get to the grocery store. She was nearly out of food, but luckily, the only thing that sounded good lately was cereal, so she wasn't in too bad of shape. However, she'd run out of toothpaste this morning and was now at the store on her lunch break. She could deal with cereal for every meal, but she wanted to have nice breath when she kissed Carter.

She wandered through the pharmacy, picking up some antacids. Her stomach had been a little queasy the night before, so she wanted to stock up. As she passed through the aisles, she came to the feminine hygiene aisle.

The aisle was relatively unmarked, but there was a half empty stand of chocolate bars on the end-cap, so someone knew what they were doing. She chuckled to herself and tried to remember if she needed to pick up more supplies for herself. She did the mental math, trying to remember if she'd bought a new box of tampons last cycle, or the one before.

She nearly dropped her basket of groceries as she realized she was well over two weeks late. She'd completely forgotten about it. While never exactly regular, she had only ever been this late in a cycle once in her life. It was when she'd miscarried and found out that she would never have kids.

With worried hands, Mia grabbed the cheapest pregnancy test and tossed it in her basket. Suddenly, she didn't feel like wandering the aisles anymore, so she hurried to the self-checkout lane and quickly scanned everything. She tried not to blush as she scanned her pregnancy test, but no one was watching anyway.

Outside the sun was shining, but it was colder than Mia expected. Mia shivered against the sudden temperature change. Winter was coming, but it was still Fall for now. She tried to make herself excited for Halloween and Pumpkin Spice lattes as she walked to her car, but the small blue and pink box in her bag had hold of her thoughts.

The drive back to her office was uneventful, yet it seemed to take forever. She made it back with five minutes still left on her lunch. Even if she'd been hungry, the thought of taking the test was more powerful than the pull of food. She ducked into the employee bathroom and went to her favorite stall.

She sent a silent thank you up to the heavens that the bathroom was empty as she opened the box and pulled out the plastic stick. She followed the instructions, her heart in her throat as she finished and set it down to dry.

She leaned against the stall door, feeling a little silly. It was probably nothing. The doctor told her that she would never get pregnant. She probably just wasted a nice latte's worth of money on a test she didn't need. Her body probably just skipped a cycle due to stress or something.

The timer on her phone went off indicating that it was time to check the results. Her hands shook slightly, and she tried to ignore her nerves. She picked up the box and reread the directions just to make sure she was doing this right: two lines meant she was pregnant and one meant she was just being silly.

She set down the box and picked up the pee stick. Two pink lines filled the square. Mia blinked twice and re-checked the box. She reread it three more times, comparing the picture on the box to the test just to make sure. She wished she'd splurged and gotten the one that spelled out clearly “YOU'RE PREGNANT” instead of the cheap one that just had lines.

Two lines meant pregnant. She stared at those two lines for a moment, unsure if she was excited, scared, upset, or worried. Probably all of the above, she decided.

There was a chance that it was a false positive. The doctors had told her that she would never conceive, yet here was a positive test. She didn't want to hope if it wasn't true.

She picked up her phone and quickly dialed her OBGYN. Upon explaining her situation and history, she was able to get an emergency appointment later that day. Her boss would be okay with letting her out a little early, especially if it was for a doctor's appointment. Given how much the fundraiser had raised, her boss was willing to let her do just about anything.

With shaking hands, Mia put the test in the box and put that in her purse. She felt a little weird saving something she'd peed on, but she wasn't sure if the doctor would want to see it, so she was keeping it. Besides, it was the only thing that told her this was real.

Mia let out a long breath and tried to figure out how she was going to get any work done until her appointment.

* * *

The paper of her gown crinkled as she tried to find a comfortable position on the cold plastic of the exam table. The back of the exam table either needed to be up just a little bit higher so she could lean against it, or flatter so she didn't feel like she could lean. There was no comfortable way to sit, but the table wasn't long enough to lay down on without putting her feet up in the stirrups. Add in that the paper gown let in a draft and left her back exposed, and it wasn't a very comfortable position to be in.

“I'm sorry to keep you waiting,” the doctor told her as she entered the physician's side door pulling a machine behind her. Dr. Misti-Cooper had a friendly smile and an easy manner that helped Mia feel more comfortable.

“Did you get the results?” Mia asked. She fiddled with the string of the gown between her fingers. Half of her wanted a yes and the other a no. She wasn't ready to be pregnant, but then again, she'd never thought that it would ever happen.

The doctor sat on the small rolling chair and scooted over to take her hand. “The test came back positive,” she told her.

Mia gasped and couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes. The doctor gave her a moment, just holding her hand and being a solid presence.

“You okay?” Dr. Misti-Cooper asked. “I'm guessing this was rather unexpected.”

“Very unexpected,” Mia told her. “What happens next?”

“Well, given your history, we need to check the placement of the embryo with an ultrasound.” The doctor smiled and pulled the ultra sound machine over. “It won't hurt at all.”

Mia nodded. She was having a hard time staying calm. There was so much that could go wrong. What if she was pregnant, but the baby was in the wrong spot? What if the test the doctor did was actually wrong and there was nothing there? What if the test showed she was just going to lose this pregnancy too?

She'd given up on the idea that she would ever be a mother to her own biological children. The thought that she had a chance was terrifying and exciting. She just hoped she wasn't going to be let down and have to go through the process of knowing she'd never have this opportunity ever again.

“Lay back and relax,” Dr. Misti-Cooper told her, booting up the machine and getting some gel out. “This is going to feel a little odd.”

Mia nodded as the doctor got the ultrasound wand prepped. “I'm ready.”

“Okay. Cold and pressure,” the doctor said. Mia tensed slightly but made herself breathe through it. She took a deep breath in, focusing on relaxing all her muscles and trying to hold still at the same time.

“You're doing great,” Dr. Misti-Cooper told her, moving the wand around slightly. Mia could see the screen. It reminded her of an old black and white TV as strange shapes danced across the screen. “There he is.”

On the screen was a little black spot on a white dot. It was different than the rest of the screen, and Mia instinctively knew it was her baby. A tear of pure joy welled up in her eyes, and she let out the breath she'd been holding in.

There was a baby.

“It won't look like a baby for a few more weeks,” the doctor explained. She moved the computer mouse and started taking measurements. “But he's there. You're measuring at four weeks, three days and the placement is perfect.”

Mia stared at that small dot on the screen. Emotions rolled through her in waves like the ocean, threatening to drown her. She'd told herself for so long that this was never going to happen, that this moment was impossible, that now she didn't have any idea how to handle it.

It took a moment for Mia to find her voice. “But I thought I couldn't get pregnant with my condition.”

Dr. Misti-Cooper shrugged. “So did I, but apparently, you are a medical marvel. It's still very early, though, so we'll need to keep a close eye on both of you, but from what I can see now, you two look perfect.”

The little dot shifted on the screen and Mia's heart filled with more love than she ever thought possible.

“You said it's a he?” she whispered, her eyes never leaving the screen.

“I call all these little guys 'he' until we know for sure,” the doctor explained with a friendly chuckle. “It's still way too early to tell. The earliest we can find out is at ten weeks with a maternal blood test, but most people still find out at the twenty-week ultrasound.”

“Twenty weeks?” Mia repeated. It felt like such a long time and yet absolutely not enough time at the same moment. She swallowed hard. Dr. Misti-Cooper gently patted her leg.

“You're going to have to take it easy. Be gentle with yourself. Given your history, I don't want you taking any unnecessary risks,” the doctor told her. “No sports where you might fall. No horseback riding, ice-skating, bike riding, that kind of thing.”

“Okay,” Mia agreed. She wasn't going to do anything to risk this miracle baby. She was ready to sit in a padded room for the next nine months if it meant her baby would be safe.

The machine beeped as it finished printing out copies of the ultrasound picture.

“Here you go,” the doctor said, handing her several copies. The image was just blurry black and white circles, but to Mia, it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. “I'll go get you some information on what foods and medicines to avoid while you get dressed.”

Mia nodded, not really paying attention to the doctor as she left. Mia was too busy staring at the picture in her hands. She was going to be a mother. There was a little person growing inside of her. She already felt incredibly protective of it.

“Don't worry little one,” she whispered to the white dot in the photo “I've got you, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You're safe with me.”