August 15, 2012
Elizabeth Renee Montgomery
March 3, 1975
August 15, 2009
Beloved Wife, Friend, Daughter and Mother
The weather matched his mood as gray, overcast and dour. Lincoln thought, Three years and I always find myself sitting right back here talking to you Elizabeth. I brought you roses today just to brighten your day. I do not understand why I cannot move on from you. I know we always said till death do us part but I never expected you to go first or so soon. I wake up every day hoping beyond hope that the hurt and barrenness will diminish but my life feels so empty without you. I still cannot spend any time at our lake house. I had the top floor of the office remodeled and turned into a penthouse suite so that I can avoid the emptiness and pain every time I go there. No matter how hard I try, your presence is everywhere I turn there and it has not helped me with my closure. The therapists says that we all grieve in our own way and there is no defined length of time for the process, but all that I know is my heart still has not been able to repair the hole that was ripped in it the day you died. I fear that I have built a thick stone wall around my heart that will never be penetrated. I do not think I could ever handle loving and losing again.
Rob and Erin called last week and invited me to go Auburn for Labor Day weekend. I don’t know if I will, but they keep asking and I could use a break away from work. Speaking of work, we finally closed the deal last week with Atlanta REI to bring them onboard. It was quite a lot of negotiating but ultimately they saw the wisdom in joining our specialty practice. Hopefully if all goes well we will complete the deals in Nashville, Seattle, and Phoenix. It feels strange at last to have completed this dream of mine to create large specialty practices and hospitals dedicated solely to the treatment of women and newborns. After we closed the deal I could not help but to think back to when we were first married and stretching every dollar that you made to get us through school. Now I have more money than I could ever spend and no one to share it with. However, I would trade every dollar I have to spend the rest of my life with you and our child.
Well sweetheart I have to get ready for my business trip to Las Vegas to check on the clinic. I was really impressed with the new doctors we brought in and the whole concept has been a boom for the area. Everyone has been extremely pleased with our one stop approach to women’s healthcare. I know we spent so much time discussing this concept and with all of our own troubles conceiving it made so much sense to allow women to have a place that was their own where they felt comfortable receiving the care that they needed. We had 84 successful invitro-fertilizations there alone last month. It still excites me to see the expressions of their faces when we are able to tell them they are pregnant and especially after we deliver their baby. Also, I was back at the university last week. They just opened the new Elizabeth Montgomery Center for Literature on North Campus. It really is a beautiful building complete with the Victorian architecture that you always loved. I met the new Dean of the school and after meeting with many of the students I know that I made the right decision to open the center in your name. I still have difficulty walking in that area without thinking of you. I stopped at our spot the day and nearly broke down which would not have been very good before my speech and ribbon cutting. But I really just wanted you to know that we finally did it. I love you and will talk to you soon.
A few days later, Lincoln was in Las Vegas. Man was it hot but at least it gets me away from home where I could clear my thoughts and focus on work. Lincoln met his practice manager at the Bellagio after he checked in and they discussed the new acquisitions and the success rates of the CF treatments and REI work. Dr. Jackson Davis was well-educated and extremely successful in the field of reproductive endocrinology and infertility. He was also the west coast brand manager and the man Lincoln looked to handle the daily operations of the group and to seek out new acquisition opportunities. Today they sat dining at Le Cirque enjoying each other’s company and discussing the changes in the healthcare market with respect to obstetrics and Invitro-fertilization.
Lincoln said, “Jackson, my biggest concern is this potential government takeover of the market and insurance mandates that may come back to hurt our bottom line. If all insurance companies are forced to begin offering coverage for IVF then our profitability drops like a rock. Then the overall concern is not our bonus structures or yearend payouts to the principles but being able to continue our philanthropic work for the people who could not afford the services they need. It was one of Elizabeth’s pet projects for me to give back.”
“Lincoln we will be okay with the market. I understand your concerns and desires to continue what we are doing, but it is time you began doing these things for yourself and not for Elizabeth. We have had this conversation many times and no matter what you do to honor her she is not coming back. You have got to begin to move on with your life. You are still a young man who has a lot to offer. “Jackson replied.
Lincoln listened pensively to his friend drone on and on about his private life but all the time thinking that he truly meant well but having never experienced loss like this himself he really did not understand what Lincoln was going through. Lincoln was just about to respond when his cell phone rang saving him once again from his friends’ advice on his love life or lack thereof. Seeing that it was his best friend Rob he excused himself and walked to the lobby. “Hey Rob what’s up? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah buddy everything is fine. Listen I know you are in Vegas checking on the group but Erin wanted me to call and find out if you are going with us Labor Day weekend. I know you wanted to think about it but we need to make plans. We have an alumni football players gathering that I would like for you to join us for and then we will have our usual box suite for the game.”
Listening carefully, Lincoln pondered the offer. “Rob, that lovely wife of yours is not trying to set me up with another woman is she? I know she doesn’t like Monica and I am taking care of that today.”
Rob snorted with laughter as his wife elbowed him in the ribs, “No Linc this is most definitely not a setup. Besides, most of the women there will be married, too old or too young for you to even consider dating. I know you need to go to Biloxi the next week so come with us, stay at the townhouse then head down on Sunday afternoon. It will be a lot of fun and bring your clubs so we can knock the ball around the course some.”
After a quick inward smile, “Sure Rob. I will be there. I have to go I am in a lunch meeting. Give my love to Erin and the kids.” Why do I always agree to these things? I know Erin has something planned for me, but I love her and Rob too much to say no. I mean I was his best man and did deliver both of his children. Sometimes I envy his life though, a loving wife, simple ophthalmology practice and great kids.
As he headed back to continue his conversation with Jackson, he could not help but think of the whole in his heart. Elizabeth had loved it here. She was always a great roulette player and more often than not she took more of the house money than they took of hers. “Sorry Jackson, I had to take that. Where were we?” He hoped the phone call would distract Jackson from talking about his personal life.
Jackson regarded him carefully taking in his boss and friend’s brooding eyes and sullen attitude as he tried to ease the conversation back to getting him out and meeting new people. “Lincoln, all I am saying is that you should at least make an effort to get out and meet some people. Elizabeth would not want you living the life of a Monk. You barely leave the office to the point that you built a penthouse above it. When was the last time you had a date or sex or anything without feeling guilty?”
Lincoln thought so much for that hope. As a flash of anguish mixed with anger flashed across Lincoln’s face, Lincoln said, “Jackson you do not understand. I get no joy out of meeting new women. I date occasionally especially with the list of charity functions I attend but they all bore me to tears. I just want someone who will be attracted to me and not my bank account. It was so much easier when I was a middle class guy working hard to be successful. I am not being stubborn or hard headed. I just know when I meet the right one it will be crystal clear to me. I just haven’t found her yet.”
Suddenly tired of the conversation and with a hint of exacerbation in his voice Lincoln said, “Let’s get back to business please. The bottom line looks good. Make sure that the newly acquired assets feel at home and have whatever they need to be successful. I am going to swing by the new teaching hospital and check on the labor and delivery wing progress. Let me know if you need anything. Otherwise I will see you in a few weeks when you come to Atlanta. Remember your golf clubs and we will make time to play.” With that said both men shook hands and traded goodbyes. Finally alone, Lincoln let himself sink back into the loneliness he felt before the meeting.
Lincoln headed over to see the new resident teaching facilities at the hospital before his dinner meeting with the new ad agency. As a group, they had sunk a lot of money into procuring the best simulation equipment. After his visit to the hospital, dinner with the advertising executives, and a good night’s sleep Lincoln decided to head to the craps table and try to get his mind off of business and his lack of any emotional involvement with anyone before heading home.
“Come on hard 8.” Lincoln was finally relaxing and making some money while doing it. “$10,000 on 9, 5, and 10” He remembered a day when that would have been a lot of money to him and Elizabeth. The struggles of school and residency keeping them living paycheck to paycheck and thinking they were living large when they went to the Chinese buffet to eat. “Winner 9” said the stick man. Well at least the dice were rolling hot today.
“Hey Franco, will you color me up and just put it into my account.” “Sure Dr. Montgomery. You have a pleasant evening and let me know if you need anything else.”
“Thanks but I have a plane to catch. See you next trip and tell Loretta that I’m sorry we missed each other this trip.
“She’ll be sorry Dr. Montgomery. She always looks forward to your visits.”
The one thing about the Bellagio is that you could easily forget where you were and what time of day it was. I had better hurry if I am going to make it back to Atlanta before too late in the afternoon. Thankfully as he approached the lobby his limousine appeared and took him to his private jet.
“Did you have a good visit Dr. Montgomery?” his driver asked.
“Just fine Gary. How are the wife and kids?”
“Same old same old sir. She wants more and I want fewer, but I am stuck with the ones we have so she will just have to make do.”
Lincoln laughed to himself thinking about how difficult it had been for them to get pregnant in the first place and how they had had great success with the Invitro processes. “Well if you change your mind my friend, just give me a call and we will set you up for another treatment.”
“Will do sir. Have a nice flight and see you next time.” Lincoln got out of the car and admired his new Gulfstream G-5. Sleek, beautiful and not too austentacious painted red and black. The interior had been the real treat. Black leather seats with a nice big G embroidered on them. Well I might as well have a drink a cigar and relax for the flight back.
“Good afternoon Dr. Montgomery. What can I get for you today?”
“I will have the usual Greta just some Macallan 55 and an Opus X Shark. Thanks for taking such good care of me. You are the only women in my life who actually listens to me.” Just then, he remembered he needed to call his newest lady friend and end things with her. Monica had become too clingy too fast and was all about the lifestyle and not about him. I just wish I could find someone to spend time with that did not care that I am worth what I am worth. It did not help that Atlanta Magazine had just named him the wealthiest, hottest bachelor in the city. Oh well let’s get this over with.
“Hello, Monica. How are you today?”
“Lincypoo , I am fine but where are you darling? I miss you something terribly.”
Lincoln cringed at the name Monica called him as they had not dated long enough to have nicknames for each other. She had even become brazen enough to start leaving little things at his penthouse as if she was trying to move in with him. “I am just heading back from a business trip to Las Vegas.”
“Oh Las Vegas I really wish you would have taken me with you. They have such wonderful boutiques to shop in and I could really have used some time away from here.” She said with an exaggerated pout in her voice.
“Well that is why I am calling, I wanted to tell you that I have somewhat enjoyed our time together but it has come to an end. I think that you enjoy spending my money more than you enjoy my company. I had Carl remove your things from the Penthouse and he will send them too you. Don’t call me anymore as my decision is final.”
“But Lincoln I think if you just give us some more time I can grow to love the man that you are.”
“Goodbye Monica.” And with that he ended the call and stared out the window as the plane taxied for takeoff. His phone rang and when he looked down he saw it was Monica calling back. Man she just doesn’t get it. Not wanting to be annoyed for the entire flight home Lincoln turned off his phone and reclined back to relax in his seat.
“Dr. Montgomery, our flight time is just over 3 hours but unfortunately we will hit some turbulence and some thunderstorms about the time we get over Tuscaloosa.”
“That is okay Paul. What else would you expect over that blessed town? Just let me know when we get close to home so I can let George know when to arrive with the car.”
Lincoln sat back and enjoyed his scotch and Opus X thinking this is the first real pleasure I have had today. It is a shame that I do not have someone to share this with. Speaking of sharing, I need to call Joe and see how the plant is doing. Maybe I will jet down to Augusta for a few days and check on the operation and play a little golf since the club just opened for the season.
“Joseph Michaels office how may I help you?”
“Jeanette, it is Dr. Montgomery. How are you today?”
“Fine sir, what can I do for you?”
“Is Joseph available?” He was Joe to me and our little group but to everyone at work he was Joseph. I still chuckle thinking the only times he was ever called Joseph growing up was when he was in trouble at school or at home.
“Sure Dr Montgomery just let me buzz you through and connect you to his phone.”
“Thanks Jeanette and you have a wonderful day. I am sure I will see you soon.”
“Hey Lincoln. Good to hear from you. What’s up?”
“Not much just thought I would head down to Augusta and check out the operations. How is everything going?”
“As good as can be expected. We met the production goals last week for the entire month and the new lots seem to be more stable with the new formula. Hopefully they will be as effective as the last ones.”
“That is good to hear. Listen why don’t you make time next Thursday and we will have lunch at the club and then play a round while we talk business.”
“Sounds great.”
“So how are Jenny and the kids?”
“Everyone is great. She just moved up to head of Labor and Delivery and is dealing with the headaches of medical students and new residents. What can you say life about the life of a great nurse. You missed Lydia’s birthday. She was disappointed her Uncle Lincoln was not here.”
“Well tell her I am sorry that I will make it up to her this week. Also, the 8th of September do you have any plans for that weekend?”
“None that I can think of. Jenny is working and Lydia will be with Mom and Dad and Jake will be at his father’s house.”
“Well then you can just drop everything and join me for a little trip to Columbia, Missouri to watch the dawgs play.”
“That sounds great. Shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Listen buddy I have to go and make some money so I can pay for this plane. I will see you Wednesday and tell your wife not to make dinner plans.”
“Okay. See you then.”
Lincoln sat back and reflected on the times they spent growing up he almost laughed out loud. It is amazing none of them were ever seriously injured or arrested for some of the things they did in high school. Who would have thought that after a failed marriage Joe would be able to pick back up. He was so devastated and heartbroken because of that cheating woman he married, but as with life he was surprised to run into an old friend, my senior prom date, and they started seeing each other. She was getting over a nasty divorce as well and they were really what each other needed and 4 years later they have a wonderful family.
Before he knew it, Paul was letting him know of their impending arrival. Lincoln was glad to be back in Atlanta but hated going back to the empty Penthouse.