Chapter 1
Allison
Friday: also known as the day every person in the office goes just a little insane with wanting the week to be over. Fridays made me antsy in general, but today I had a gift ready to give my boss, Joshua, and I didn’t know how I was going to give it to him. I wanted to hand it over in person, but I also wanted to avoid the awkward moment where he looked away, distracted, after barely acknowledging my existence.
I bounced up and down in my cushioned swivel chair, and tried not to get up for a third time to use the bathroom. I kicked my legs out in front of me, stopping every couple of seconds to look at my feet. Maybe I should have worn the black flats with these pants, instead of the brown ones. Maybe I should do some stretches, read an inspirational quote or two.
Maybe I should just give him the damn present already, go home early, and curl up with my cat.
It didn’t matter much what I did, or what I wore. Nobody really saw me behind the walls of my cubicle, and I wasn’t one of the pretentious girls who had to flaunt themselves in the office. Not that those girls bothered me. It just seemed kind of silly for them to be so obsessed with their looks. Or maybe I was just jealous because when it came to make-up skills, well. I didn’t have any.
I checked my desk drawer for the second time in five minutes to make sure the special gift was still there. Then I peeked around the edge of my cubicle and tried to catch a glimpse of Joshua. To seem less obvious, I pretended to rearrange the dried lavender sachets that I’d pinned to the wall. I’d made my little space as personal as I could, and Joshua had even complimented me on it one time. I could still remember when he asked me who the “big black fur ball” was in my picture. It was Bub, of course, the giant black cat I had rescued from a shelter five years ago. Joshua had glanced at a few of my other photos, too. He commented on how cute my niece Becky was, and how much my sister and I resembled each other.
So I wasn’t invisible; Joshua had even noticed me. Once.
His office door opened with a snick sound that I knew better than my favorite song, and I risked another peek over my wall. There he was, six manly feet of gorgeous alpha CEO, standing not twenty feet from me. He was deep in conversation with a brusque-looking woman I didn’t recognize, probably an advertiser interested in cashing in on Scintilla’s popularity. Technically it was Tolbert & Tolbert, but we all just called it Scintilla, after the matchmaking website that had taken off and was snowballing in popularity.
I could still remember the first time I saw Joshua. He’d been wearing a chambray jacket with a polo shirt underneath, and a pair of khakis. I couldn’t believe how handsome he was, and I knew that I was in love with him from that moment on. His dark, wavy hair always reminded me of a model, and his dark brown eyes looked like they could see right through me. In fact, they usually did see right through me. As if I wasn’t even there.
I sighed. My best friend kept telling me I needed to be more confident. So I read one of the quotes that I’d tacked above Bub’s picture. What you send out to the world comes back to you.
I opened my desk drawer one more time. The bottle of Highland Park Dark Origins, Joshua’s favorite liquor, was still there. Like any responsible woman with a giant crush on her boss, I’d overheard him talking on the phone one day. He mentioned this being his favorite drink and I’d been waiting for the perfect opportunity to give it to him.
“Hey you,” came the chipper sound of a male voice.
I slammed the drawer shut.
“Oh, hey.” I tried to sound casual. Jamie Tolbert, Joshua’s brother, was peering over my cubicle wall at me. He couldn’t seem to stay in his office; I’d once heard Joshua joking about gluing Jamie’s ass to his chair, just to make him get some work done. Jamie was a good guy, but nothing compared to Joshua. He shared the same shade of brown hair and the same strong nose, but Jamie always tended to look a little unkempt, a little less polished.
“Check out my new running magazine.” He held up the cover and raised his eyebrows, trying to make me laugh.
“Yoga and quiet hikes are where it’s at,” I said, smiling. It was an old argument that we both seemed to enjoy replaying.
He coughed, and it sounded like, “Boring.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be working in your office? Do you even know where it is?” I joked. I didn’t want to take it too far, though. He was a nice enough guy, and pretty charming, but it was obvious he was jealous of his brother. Joshua was the CEO. Jamie was second-in-command, and even then he didn’t really seem to fit the part or get much respect.
“You know, I am supposed to be working,” he chirped back. “But today is Friday, and I’m ready to be out of here.” He clasped his hands behind his head and tried to look cool. It just messed up his hair even more. “You got any plans tonight?”
I shrugged. I’d probably just go home to watch a movie with Bub, but it probably sounded pathetic, especially to someone like a Tolbert who was rolling in money. Someone else walked past and asked Jamie’s opinion on a marketing issue. He gave me a limp wave and reluctantly walked off with him.
As soon as he was gone, I took the opportunity to look into the hall once more. Joshua was no longer in front of his door with the advertiser, which meant he’d probably seen her to the elevators on the other side of his office. He usually did this with visitors to the office…not that I paid attention to his habits. Much.
I grabbed the liquor from my drawer and jetted across the hall and through his open door. I dithered for a moment, trying to decide the best place to set the bottle. Center of the desk like a target, or off to the side like a vase of flowers?
Center. Definitely. This was the kind of gift that begged to be noticed.
But as soon as I was about to set it down, Joshua popped up out of nowhere.
There we stood, face to face. He must have been looking for something in the bottom drawer, blocked from my view.
Worst timing ever.
My cheeks blazed. I started to run my fingers along the frayed edges of my short brown ponytail. I twisted a loose piece and tucked it behind my ear, my special nervous tic.
Joshua looked amazing, not awkward or frazzled like I felt. His stubble framed his jaw line and gave him that rugged look I always loved on men in magazines. I once told my best friend, Jess, that he could have been a male model if he’d wanted to. She was skeptical until I pulled up a photo from the Scintilla website. “Put it away,” she’d said. “Quick, before it melts your phone.”
“Happy birthday,” I finally blurted. I wanted to sink through the floor.
He appeared unimpressed. “Thanks, Abby.”
Abby? My name was Allison. It was like a pit had opened up in my stomach, I felt so hollow and empty. I thought he would have at least gotten my name right since I’d worked at his company for three years. I could feel my ears getting red now, along with my cheeks. How could he mess up my name? In my mind, this was where he was supposed to jump up and thank me for the gift, then ask me out. But instead, he just bent down and continued to rustle around the papers in that bottom desk drawer.
I set the bottle down carefully, then backed out of the office, one invisible step after another.